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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Almost About To Lose It

    | Maple Grove, MN, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

    (I have just been assigned a new hire to shadow me on the registers when a customer with two heaping carts walks up to my register. I give her a friendly greeting, but she ignores me and starts piling her things (mostly $2-$3 clearance children’s clothes) on the counter. After I finish scanning the entire pile, she begins to scrutinize the screen which shows her the items she’s buying, including the prices and total.)

    Customer: “How much is it?”

    Me: “$150, ma’am.”

    Customer: “That’s too much. Start over.”

    (By this point, I had already spent more than ten minutes scanning her items.)

    Me: *surprised* “Start over? I could just take off what you don’t want instead.”

    Customer: “No. Scan it again. Start over.”

    (The customer then starts digging through the pile, alternately throwing things at me, on the floor, and in several disorganized heaps on the counter. I void out the first transaction and reach for one of the piles to begin scanning again, but she slaps my hand away. After a while, she shoves a few shirts into my face, and then grabs them away when I move to scan them. Eventually, after another fifteen minutes, I have a pile of scanned items that she seems to approve of.)

    Customer: “Here, I don’t want these either.”

    (She throws still more items from the bottom of her cart at me. At this point, my bin for rejected items has long since overflowed, and the pile beside it is threatening to tumble over. Finally satisfied, the customer presents a coupon that doesn’t start until the next day.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. That coupon starts tomorrow, and I’m not allowed to accept it early. If you like, you could bring your receipt in tomorrow to get it adjusted.”

    Customer: “Don’t bother. Just hold it until tomorrow for me.” *begins to walk away*

    Me: *calling after her* “Ma’am! I’ll need your name to put it on hold!”

    Customer: *storming back* “FINE! It’s [Name]! You’d better not lose all that! I spent a lot of time finding it all!”

    Me: “Of course not, ma’am. It will be waiting for you at customer service. Have a nice day.”

    Customer: “Whatever.” *marches out the door*

    Me: *to new hire* “I think I need to take my break now. I’ll have you shadow [other cashier] until I get back.”

    New Hire: “Does that happen a lot here?”

    Me: “Unfortunately, far more than it should.”

    Not On Par With An Emergency

    | Perth, WA, Australia | Crazy Requests, Transportation

    (I’m a receptionist for a car dealership with repair departments as well as sales. Only sales are open on a Saturday, with all repairs locked up over the weekend.)

    Me: “Good morning! This is [Business Name]. How can I help you?

    Caller: *sounding flustered and upset* “Thank God. Put me onto service.”

    Me: “The service department is actually closed on the weekend. Can I take a message for Monday?”

    Caller: “No, you don’t understand. My car got brought in yesterday and I need to get my things out.”

    Me: “Did you arrange anything with the staff during the week? Maybe they left it at reception for you.”

    Caller: “No, I didn’t!”

    Me: “Oh. Well. It will have to wait until Monday. Everything is locked up to keep the cars and contents safe.”

    Caller: “Don’t you understand? This is urgent! Can’t you unlock it for me?”

    Me: “I don’t have the keys. Only the managers of that department do.”

    Caller: “Well, why the h*** are they closed? Make them come to work to open everything up!”

    Me: “I can’t do that, sir. This is their time off.”

    Caller: “But this is an EMERGENCY!”

    (This goes on for sometime, and the caller is getting more and more upset. I figure it must be really important to cause such a fuss – something like medicine, or formula for a small child.)

    Me: “Tell you what. Give me your number and I’ll try and sort something out.”

    Caller: “Thank you! This is so important. This is an emergency. You need to get someone in.”

    (I try to sort it out, but I can’t. He’s going to have to wait until Monday. I call him back.)

    Me: “Hello. Is this [Name]? I’m so sorry, but it’s completely impossible.”

    Caller: “But it’s an emergency!”

    Me: “I know. I’m sorry, but no one here has the keys and none of the managers can come in.”

    Caller: “Do you realise how urgent this is? I am going to have to use the RENTAL CLUBS.”

    Me: “… Excuse me?”

    Caller: “I am going golfing with friends today at [ludicrously expensive golf course]! Do you know how embarrassing it will be for me to use rental clubs?”

    Me: “You mean to tell me you wanted me to get managers, who work thirteen-hour days all week, to come in because you don’t want to use RENTED GOLF CLUBS?”

    Caller: “You see!? It’s an emergency!”

    Off-Color Customers

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer comes up to me with several bathmats. I am the only staff member in a large store; my coworker is at lunch.)

    Me: “Hi. Can I help you?”

    Customer #1: “I need to know which of these you think will suit my bathroom.”

    Me: “I have no idea what your bathroom looks like.”

    Customer #1: “Well, it has…” *mutters off strange colour combination I don’t quite understand* “…and black on the floor. Which one suits my bathroom?”

    (This goes back and forth for several minutes. Finally I have had enough.)

    Me: *pointing to one* “That one will suit.”

    Customer #1: “Are you sure? I need one for toilet, one for wash hands and one for…” *struggles to find word*

    Me: “Bathtub?”

    (I go and get him another set, but he is upset that there will be two contour mats for the toilet.)

    Me: “You will need to wash that one more often, so two would be good.”

    Customer #1: “I look for more. You come.”

    Me: “No, you look. I am the only one in the store at the moment and there is another customer waiting.”

    (I turn to the other customer, vainly hoping for an easy sale.)

    Me: “Hi. Can I help you?”

    Customer #2: “I need jersey fabric. Can you show me where it is?”

    Me: “Okay. I can show you quickly. I do need to back to the counter as I am the only one on the floor right now.”

    (I take her to the jersey fabrics and point them out to her.)

    Customer #2: “I need five colours.”

    Me: “Okay. I’ll just leave you to choose them. Bring them to the counter when you are ready.”

    Customer #2: “I need your help choosing them.”

    Me: “Sorry. I really need to be back at the counter, as I’ve already explained.”

    Customer #2: “How long until someone comes back and you can do it?”

    Me: “20 minutes.”

    Customer #2: “I’ll come back.”

    (I go back to the counter to find that Customer #1 is back there.)

    Customer #1: *with other bathmats* “Will these suit my bathroom?”

    (I eventually sell Customer #1 the two sets of mats in the colour I chose. After 20 minutes, my coworker has come back and Customer #2 comes back in.)

    Customer #2: *haughtily* “Can you serve me now?”

    Me: “Yes, I can. Sorry about before. That customer was really doing my head in. Do you need help finding colours?”

    Customer #2: “No. I know exactly what colours I need.”

    (All Customer #2 wanted me for was to hold up fabric while she ‘ummed’ and ‘ahhed’ over the colour, as well as carry the very light rolls to the counter!)

    Life Is Stranger Than Movie Fiction

    | New Zealand | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (I work as a cinema attendant at a movie theatre. I am working at one of the registers when a customer storms up to my till.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but are you the manager?”

    Me: “No, but I would be happy to fetch them for you. What is the issue, just in case I can help you out?”

    Customer: “The movie I just watched was absolutely ridiculous, and I couldn’t stand it. I want my money back for it!”

    Me: “Oh, which movie was it?”

    (The customer states the name of a movie which had just finished screening, after she had sat through the entire movie.)

    Customer: “I also want my money back for my combo as well. The popcorn was just FAR too salty!”

    (The customer has about a quarter of a large box of popcorn left in her hand, after having eaten all the rest.)

    Me: “Ma’am, we can’t actually refund tickets for movies that you watched all the way through. If you had come out after about 15 to 20 minutes, we could have, but not after you’ve seen the entire thing. We also can’t give refunds on food that has already been eaten.”

    Customer: “That is so stupid. What kind of customer service is this? I paid for this food and that movie, but I didn’t enjoy it. Surely you are meant to keep the customer happy?!”

    Not Really Framing A Good Argument

    | Mankato, MN USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in arts and craft store’s frame shop, which is located in a very small strip mall.)

    Customer: “I really need something framed today. It’s urgent.”

    Me: “Sure! We can do an express framing by picking out a ready-made frame on the floor and cutting a custom mat.”

    Customer: “But I really want that frame.”

    (He points to a corner sample on our wall display. We have over 400 samples.)

    Me: “Well, that is a custom frame molding and we can order that for you, but it will take two weeks to complete.”

    Customer: “No, I really need it today. That’s the one I want. Can you get it done by 6 pm?”

    (As he says this, he can see my entire work room over my shoulder, which is obviously too small to hold any lumber, much less enough for 400+ frames.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We don’t make any of these frames in-house. If you really want that frame I will have to order it from our central warehouse, who will cut and join it before sending it to my shop. If you are in a hurry, there are two frames we sell on our sales floor that I think would be very similar to the custom frame sample you like. They would look great!”

    Customer: “But you’re a frame shop! Why don’t you make the frames here?”

    Me: “Sir, if you look behind me, you’ll see my entire frame shop. We don’t have the room to store all of the frame materials so we use a warehouse.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous! You should make them here!”

    Me: “Sir, we offer over 400 different frames. If we kept enough lumber in stock to fulfill the frame-size request of each frame-type for each customer, we would need a building the size of [local national chain hardware store].”

    Customer: “Oh…”

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