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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Attempting To Mask Out Stupidity

    | Australia | Crazy Requests, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (Our store does basic restoration services.)

    Customer: “I have these photos of a masquerade ball.” *holds up photos with people with full masks on* “I need you to photoshop the masks off.”

    Me: “Unfortunately, sir, it is impossible for me to remove a mask of the person.”

    Customer: “But I need to know who they are!”

    Me: “If you have a different photo of the peoples faces, I can photoshop their face on, but it is impossible to remove a mask on a still photograph.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous. If CSI can do it why can’t you?”

    This Conversation Goes Round And Round

    | Whitehorse, YT, Canada | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (A customer phones in and wants a quote on a very specific tire and size.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but [Brand] doesn’t make that winter tire in that size.”

    Caller: “When will you be getting them in?”

    Me: “They don’t make that tire in your size.”

    Caller: “If you order them in for me during the sale, can I still get sale price?”

    Me: “Sir, they DON’T make that tire in the size you need.”

    Caller: “Do you think I could get a rain check for them then?”

    Me: ‘Sir, we can’t issue you a rain check for a tire that they… don’t… make!”

    Caller: *Click*

    A Seriously Crumby Job

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m cleaning the tables when I hear a customer yelling.)

    Customer: “Excuse me! You just sprayed that poison on me!”

    Me: “Poison? Oh, I’m sorry. You’ll be okay though. It’s just sanitizer. It’s no worse than the type you’d put on your hands.”

    Customer: “You put that on all the tables?!”

    Me: “Well, yes. It’s to keep germs from building.”

    Customer: “What if a customer eats it?”

    Me: “That could only happen if they licked the table.”

    Customer: “It could happen. And stop knocking those crumbs to the floor! It’s making the floor dirty!”

    Me: “How else can I get the table clean? I will sweep up once I’m done with the table.”

    Customer: “Sweep the crumbs into your hand!”

    Me: “I need a raise…”

    Trying To Remember Without A Dismember

    | BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at the customer service desk of a member-owned co-op store.)

    Me: “Thanks for calling [Store]. How can I help you?”

    Member: “This is [Name]. I need to phone [Local Celebrity] but I don’t have his phone number and he’s not on the phone book.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We can’t give out the phone numbers of our members.”

    Member: “But you don’t understand! This is very important! He is coming over for dinner, and I was planning to serve chicken, but now I’m thinking he may be a vegetarian! I have to ask him!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I still can’t give you his phone number.”

    Member: “But I’m a member! I own the store! You have to do what I say!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I can’t just give other member’s information from their file.”

    Member: “Fine! Can you call him instead, ask him if he eats chicken, and then call me back?”

    Inspecting Can Be Very Faxing

    | Whitehorse, YT, Canada | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (The phone rings in the service department.)

    Caller: “I was wondering if you guys do vehicle inspections for imported cars and trailers?”

    Me: “Yes, we sure do.”

    Caller: “Well, I have a bit of a problem. I live about four hours away and I have a trailer that I brought up from the USA. I have all the paperwork but I haven’t had the inspection for registering it in Canada done yet. I forgot to get it done when I brought it through the city a couple of weeks ago.”

    Me: “We can do it anytime Monday through Friday. The inspection should only take a couple of minutes.”

    Caller: “Yeah that’s the problem. I really don’t have time to get the trailer to the city before the 30 day permit expires. Do you guys need to see the actual trailer before you can do the paperwork?”

    Me: “Yes, we have to see the actual trailer.”

    Caller: “Can you just fill in the paperwork and fax it to me?”

    Me: “We have to actually inspect the trailer. We also need all the paperwork to register the trailer in Canada.”

    Caller: “But what if I just fax you the paperwork, can you just fill it in and fax it back to me? I don’t have the time to take the trailer to the city, that’s gonna cost me a whole day. It would be great if I could just fax the paperwork to you.”

    Me: “We have to inspect the actual trailer and we need the original paperwork.”

    Caller: “Why!?”

    Me: “Because we can’t inspect a fax!”

    Caller: *click*

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