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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Verbal Abuse Of Contract

    | Houston, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

    Me: “You have a 24-month contract. If you cancel before the end of the agreement you will have an early termination fee.”

    Customer: “I am telling you verbally to cancel the contract. So you can’t charge me a fee.”

    Me: “Ma’am, you signed the contract. It is binding. Do you recall signing the contract when your service was activated?”

    Customer: “Yes, I signed the contract. But it’s void because I’m telling you verbally to cancel it.”

    Me: “Telling us to cancel the contract does not void it. That’s like calling my mortgage company and saying my contract is invalid and I don’t owe any more payments because I am telling them verbally it’s cancelled.”

    Customer: “But I am saying it. Verbally. So now I don’t have a contract.”

    (I sent her a copy of her contract. Hopefully someone helped her to understand what a contract was.)

    Tis The Seasoning

    | MI, USA | Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (My father and I decide to go out to eat at a chain restaurant around Christmas. We can’t help but overhear a table, with a husband who has remained silent the entire time, and a wife, complaining about how her meal has been ruined by the waiter, who happens to be the manager on duty.)

    Woman: “Excuse me, sir. You completely ruined my steak. This is not what I ordered.”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I would be more than happy to correct this error. May I ask what is wrong with your steak? Is it overcooked?”

    Woman: “Just slightly but the major problem is the seasonings you put on the steak. I cannot stand it. I want just a plain steak. No seasonings.”

    (Overhearing this, I realize I have ordered the same thing, a Cajun top sirloin, which clearly states that there is spices put on the steak. After a few minutes, the manager comes back with a plain steak for the other table, as well as my meal. After delivering my meal, the woman pulls the manager back to her table.)

    Woman: “Sir, this is the second time, and the last time I hope I have to call you over here. You ruined my steak again. This steak is so bland and flavorless. How hard is it to give me a good steak with a bit of salt and pepper?”

    Manager: “I am sorry for the confusion, ma’am. I’ll go fix your order personally.”

    Woman: *as the manager is leaving the table, but clearly able to hear* “You know, honey, why would a place like this put that seasoning on something when it doesn’t even say it has it on there? No one likes that stuff anyway.”

    (Both my father and I have worked in restaurants most of our lives are fed up by this demanding customer and come to the aid of the manager.)

    Myself: *loud enough for the manager to hear* “Oh, my god! What did they do to this steak!?” *I see the woman turn around and give me a look of agreement as my dad is trying the steak* “This is the best steak I have ever had! And the seasoning is GREAT!”

    (The husband is nearly falling out of his chair laughing as the wife stays silent for the rest of the meal. The manager later thanked us for helping silence the customer. Knowing he was going to get stiffed on a tip, we each pitched $10 just to make his day a little brighter.)

    The Sound Of Silence

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (A customer comes into my shoe store and requests several pairs to try on. He tries the first pair and walks around.)

    Customer: “No, no. I don’t like shoes that make noise. I need quiet shoes.”

    (I give him a new pair to try.)

    Customer: “No, I said QUIET shoes! QUIET!”

    Me: “Sir, what noise are you referring to? I’m not hearing it.”

    (He walks around more.)

    Customer: “That! You don’t hear that?”

    (All I can hear is the sound of his footsteps.)

    Me: “Can’t say I do.”

    (He begins stomping his foot on the floor.)

    Customer: “Listen to how loud those are!”

    Me: “That’s just your foot stomping.”

    Customer: “It’s the shoe!”

    Me: “So you want a shoe that won’t even make the sound of a footstep?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “… Good luck?”

    Caught With Her Pants Down

    | OR, USA | Bigotry, Crazy Requests, School

    (I manage a set of female residence halls at a small, private university.)

    Me: “Hello, Ms. Smith? This is the residential coordinator for your daughter’s hall. I’m calling on behalf of my student staffer to find out what’s going on that you’re concerned about.”

    Mom: “What?! Why the h*** you callin’ me? That’s stupid!”

    Me: “Well, you contacted my student staff saying that you needed to talk to them immediately about your daughter. I told them I would call you back because there are a lot of legal issues surrounding parent communication that they are not necessarily up to date on. So, what’s the problem?”

    Mom: “I hate this university. That is so stupid. Well, anyway, some stupid [Asian slur] stole my daughter’s pants from the laundry!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, what? Tell me exactly what you know.”

    Mom: “Well, she went down to move her laundry into the dryer, and someone already had done it! She was only an hour late! And there was some [Asian slur] girl doing her own laundry! She told my daughter that she didn’t move the laundry, that it was already moved when she got there, but she could hardly speak English, so she’s lying.”

    (Note: We have five washers for 200 girls. You have to be on top of your laundry or someone will move it so they can do their own. 10 minutes is the grace period we encourage people to give others.)

    Me: “Okay, well, I will talk to your daughter and get some more information, including who the other student was.”

    Mom: “It was a [Asian slur]! I’m so disgusted with this University. We pay so much for it and it’s terrible.”

    Me: “I’m going to have to ask you to stop saying that word. We have several students of Asian descent who live in the building, and I honestly cannot imagine any of them stealing laundry. I will talk to your daughter to get more information and hopefully find the pants. I hope one student’s potential actions don’t cloud your judgment of the university as a whole.”

    Mom: “Well, I am going to go say very bad things about this University to everyone I know! You all should teach students how to handle laundry and how to be nice people! It’s your job!”

    Me: “I will be sending a reminder email about laundry etiquette to the building, but all I can do is encourage good behavior. We also will document the situation with the pants, and try to find out what happened. I hope we find them. Is that all I can help you with?”

    Mom: “Well, I’m very angry, and it’s stupid that you called, and that d*** [Asian slur] needs to be sent back to her own country!”

    Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way, ma’am. Goodbye.”

    (Five minutes later, the resident found her pants, in her room, in her laundry basket. She hadn’t looked for them before talking to her mother. I hate my job.)

    Charity Begins At Home Furnishing

    , | London, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

    (As a charity shop, all items are donated to us. The staff are volunteers and so do not receive wages. The money made from sales goes to our cause; in this case, the care of the elderly in a local home. I approach a customer that has been looking at a sofa for some time.)

    Me: “Can I help?”

    Customer: “This sofa, isn’t it a bit expensive?”

    (Customers sometimes try to haggle or cheat us, so I’m not surprised so far.)

    Me: “Well, even though the sofa has no signs of wear and looks to be new, it has been heavily discounted. It would be triple the price from any other shop.”

    Customer: “Yeah, but this is a charity shop.”

    Me: “Yes…”

    Customer: “So I don’t see why you can’t just give it away.”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: “I rent out property, you see. I get more if the places are furnished, but if I have to buy the furniture…”

    Me: “We can’t just give things away. We raise money for the charity, which cares for elderly people.”

    Customer: “Yeah, but you get this stuff for free.”

    Me: “… “

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