November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

A Very Crisp Line

, | Tempe, AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work the opening shift at a fast food restaurant that’s well-known for their chicken. We have an elderly, regular customer who is originally from the New England area, as made obvious by both her accent and attitude. Every week, she has a new complaint. These are some of my favorites.)

Me: “Good morning, [Regular]! What can I get for you today?”

Regular: “I wanna get a number three with the bacon EXTRA crispy. Last week, you guys didn’t make it extra crispy like I like it!”

Me: “Sorry about that. I’ll make sure it gets made correctly this time.”

(The next week:)

Me: “Good morning, [Regular], having the usual today?”

Regular: “Yeah, but make sure the bacon isn’t too crispy. You guys made it WAAAY to crispy last time.”

Me: “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize they had burnt it!”

Regular: “It wasn’t burnt, just too crispy. I want it extra crispy, but not TOO crispy.”

Not Much Assurance About Insurance

| Kansas City, KS, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Transportation

(I work for a call center for a nationally known insurance company handling investigations for claims filed on policies that are no longer active.)

Me: “Hello, I’m calling from [Company] regarding the claim you filed for your auto accident. Am I speaking to [Customer]?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Good afternoon, I was calling to discuss your policy with you. Your claim was filed for an accident that happened yesterday, however it looks like your policy with us ended last year.”

Customer: “What do you mean, it ended? I thought I had insurance with you guys!”

Me: “Well, according to our records, your policy expired in June of last year and you never sent in a payment to restart your policy when we sent you our offer to renew.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “Since you didn’t ever send in a payment, then your policy wouldn’t restart.”

Customer: “What do you mean? I never knew I had to send in a payment!”

Me: “Well, let me check on something. Is your address [address on file]?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Was that your address last year as well?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “I am showing that we sent the offer to that address. Do you recall if you received anything from us?”

Customer: “Yeah, I used to get things from you guys all the time, but then they just stopped.”

Me: “Well, did you read any of them?”

Customer: “No! Why would I read your junk mail? I’m already a customer!”

Me: “That wasn’t junk mail! That was your policy paperwork and your bill.”

Customer: “How was I supposed to know that?”

Me: “The envelope says on the outside that there is important information inside pertaining to your policy and even says on the back to not discard the letter until you’ve read it.”

Customer: “I don’t pay attention to any of that; it’s all junk mail. You’re just trying to get me to buy new things!”

Me: “In this case, we were trying to prevent your policy from ending.”

Customer: “Why didn’t you say something to me?”

Me: “We did! In fact, we send the first notice two months out to give you a warning that the policy is going to end soon, then another one a month out giving you a 30 day notice…Then we sent one after it ended to remind you to purchase new insurance or to contact us to restart your policy with us. I also show that your agent called you twice before it ended to see if you wanted to come by his office to pay it.”

Customer: “Well, I never got any of them!”

Me: “You just told me that you had, but you didn’t read them.”

Customer: “I didn’t! So, I never got them, because I didn’t know that’s what they were!”

Me: “I’m sorry… but you’re saying that because you threw away our letters reminding you to pay that it means you never got them?”

Customer: “Exactly! I shouldn’t have to read mail from you guys. You should just tell me when I need to pay something!”

Me: “We did… like I said, your agent also called you. Did you get his calls?”

Customer: “I was busy, so I never called him back.”

Me: “And this was all a year and a half ago. Your insurance card says that the policy period would end.”

Customer: “I thought it was just old, but that you’d send me a new one.”

Me: “If you don’t open our mail, how would we send you a new one?”

Customer: “By CALLING me first and telling me you were sending it.”

Me: “But you hadn’t paid, and you weren’t returning the agent’s calls!”

Customer: “So? It’s not my fault that you guys don’t know how to get it to me!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we’re not going to be able to cover this. You haven’t had insurance with us for almost a year and a half. You’ve confirmed that you got our mail, you got the agent’s calls, and you never responded. You’ve not been paying insurance with us.”

Customer: “And?”

Me: “So, we’re going to be denying this. I suggest you contact your agent if you want to restart your policy, but we cannot do anything for this accident.”

Customer: “So what about my car? Can I get it fixed now?”

(Face to desk.)

Sabbath Trumps Gambling

| NS, Canada | Crazy Requests, Religion, Theme Of The Month

(I am working at the main cash of a department store, where we are having a ‘scratch and save’ promotion whereby customers are given cards to scratch and a reveal a certain percentage of savings. Note that it is a Sunday.)

Me: “And here’s your scratch and save card, ma’am!”

Customer: “Hmmm, I’m just deciding if I want you to scratch it or if I will.”

(This is pretty common, as many older customers aren’t able to easily scratch the card.)

Customer: “Did you go to church this morning?”

Me: “Nope! I’ve been working since opening.”

Customer: *suddenly a little less happy* “Well then, I better scratch it myself. For all I know, you’ve already put a hex on all the things I bought!”

Not Feline This Sub

, | ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(I work in a popular sandwich shop.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like a tuna sub please.”

(I make the sandwich and the customer pays and leaves. Forty minutes later the customer comes back with an oddly mulled sandwich.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to exchange this for a new sub.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Was there something wrong with the tuna?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Then what’s wrong with it?”

Customer: “I brought it home and went to get something done. I came back to the kitchen and my cat was on the table eating it.”

Me: *blinking in shock* “I’m sorry, sir, but we aren’t responsible for your pets eating your food…”


(I can be very sarcastic when annoyed.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we can’t. We can, however, see about getting your cat its own sub card.”

(The customer proceeded to throw the sub, which was filled with cat hair, on the counter and scream at my me, threatening to call corporate on me before storming out. If the cat was rating the sub we’d have gotten two paws up because most of it was gone.)

Lacks A Homely Reception

| CT, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Time

(I live under a dentist’s office and in the same complex as several other doctor’s offices and medical buildings. I am sleeping, only to be woken up to the sounds of someone try to open, then pounding on my door. Standing there is an elderly man, who tells me he is looking for [Doctor]’s office.)

Me: *as politely as someone who’s been woken up from a deep sleep can be* “I’m sorry, sir, this is actually an apartment. Maybe your doctor is in the front of the building?”

(Instead of just leaving he becomes irate.)

Elderly Man: “You just want to go home early, don’t you? That’s why you won’t see me!”

(He tries to force his way into my apartment, getting the door wide enough to look inside.)

Elderly Man: “You need take more pride in your waiting area and make it look more professional, this looks like some crappy apartment!”

(After going back and forth with him I finally slam the door on him and tell him firmly:)

Me: “I am  not a receptionist! You’re trying to force your way into my home and if you do not leave now I’ll be calling the cops.”

Elderly Man: *yelling* “I’ll make sure you’re fired for this! [Doctor] would never let such lazy trash run his office!”

(And with a kick to my door he disappeared to bother someone else.)