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  • This Round He Lost (In Translation), Part 4
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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    It’s A Bad Sign When They Have A Bad Sign

    | VT, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

    (I work at a large department store where there’s one sale a week on average. Because the sale prices are usually the same, our signing team leaves old signs behind the current ones so they don’t have to reprint every sign every time our prices change. Most customers don’t even think to look behind the visible sign, and those who do understand that the price they can see is the current price. A customer brings up a piece of one of our top brands of luggage, and a sign taken out of the sign holder.)

    Customer: “Hi, this sign was behind a sign that said they were full price, but the dates include today. Can I get it for half off?”

    (I look at the bottom of the sign, and see that in light gray print over white says ’121912 12513′.)

    Me: “Those are just identification numbers, but let me check the price for you.”

    (I bring the suitcase to a register and scan it. Just as the sign in front says, it rings up full price.)

    Me: “The sign is up for the sale that starts next week.”

    Customer: “So I can get it half off, right?”

    Me: “Unfortunately not, ma’am.”

    Customer: “But the sign says it’s half off.”

    Me: “You said this was behind a sign that gave the full price, right?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Manager: “So let me get this right: you pulled apart one of our signs, found one that isn’t current, and want that price?”

    Customer: “Yes! That’s what the sign says!”

    Me: “We can hold it for you until the sale starts.”

    Customer: “No! I have to take it to Atlanta tomorrow! I want the price the sign says! Can’t you just give it to me early?”

    Me: “If I did that, I could get fired.”

    Customer: “So…?”

    Me: “It’s full price.”

    (The customer leaves, muttering about false advertising.)

    Sewing The Seeds of Anger

    | Belgium | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

    (I started sewing a few years ago, and got good enough at it to make most of my clothes myself, which has resulted in a wardrobe consisting of some unusual prints. A regular customer comes up to me.)

    Customer: “I love your dress! You’re always wearing such special clothes! Do tell me where you shop!”

    Me: “Actually, I made this one myself. Thanks for the compliment!”

    Customer: “Really? That’s great! Can you make one for me?”

    Me: “Um… I have never made anything for someone else, and besides, I don’t have any of this fabric left, so I’m afraid I can’t do that!”

    (The customer suddenly gets angry.)

    Customer: “Now that’s just rude! Why would you do that? You’re just making pretty clothes for yourself so you can tell other people they will never have them!”

    (The customer slams the money on the counter, and leaves in a huff.)

    Less Charge, Less Thanks

    | TN, USA | Crazy Requests

    (A coworker and I have just set up the sales sign in the store. We are discussing which signs are going to give us the most problems.)

    Coworker: “The ones up front say everything is 30% off, but when I scanned it at the till, it’s 50% off.”

    Me: “At least it’s not the other way around. Someone can have a pleasant surprise at the register.”

    Manager: “Did you two see any of the signs for up front?”

    Coworker: “Yeah, I put up the ones corporate sent us.”

    Manager: “Did they say 50% off?”

    Coworker: “No, they all said 30% off, but everything is ringing up at 50% off.”

    Manager: “Oh. I just had a lady accuse me of false advertising.”

    Coworker: “What? But she got the 50% off. Why would she complain? She got a better deal than the sign said.”

    Manager: “I’m going to go make new signs…”

    The Idea Has No Silver Lining

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (I work in a jewelry store that makes it’s own jewelry. Because of this, we can do custom jobs and jewelry repair. We get some crazy requests, things from witchcraft to erotic.)

    Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes! I’d like to get a custom piece made. I have the design and everything!”

    Me: “Alright. Can I see it?”

    (The customer hands me a large wingnut. The kind you buy in the hardware store for a quarter.)

    Me: “Um…”

    Customer: “I need about a dozen of these made, in silver!”

    Me: “You realize this isn’t very practical, and will be expensive, right?”

    Customer: “Oh, no! It’s a wonderful idea! That’s why I’m giving it to you! You can produce them, and you’ll make enough within a couple of months!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I don’t think that’s true.”

    Customer: “But I’m giving you the idea, and you can just pay me back by giving me a dozen of them!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’ll have to charge you about $100 to produce each one of these. I’m not giving you $1200 for this idea. I know it will not sell. If you want me to make them, I need to be paid, in cash, in full.”

    Customer: “It’s a great idea! You’ll be sorry you passed it up!”

    Cart Thief

    | Denver, CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

    (I am helping a customer load a large item into their truck. They will need twine to secure their large kennel.)

    Me: “Okay, I will be back with twine.”

    (When I come back out, I see that they have used my cart rope to secure their load.)

    Me: “You can’t use that; I need it to push carts.”

    Customer: “It’s okay; we’ll bring it back.”

    Me: “No, I need it to push carts.”

    Customer: “Let me talk to your manager.”

    (I get my manager.)

    Manager: “We have twine; the cart pushers need that to push their carts.”

    Customer: “Twine isn’t as good though.”

    Manager: “I’m sorry; I cannot claim liability. That is a device to secure carts; you cannot use that to safely secure loads. Please give it back.”

    Customer: “Okay, fine!”

    (I go to get my rope, but the customer just drives off! The next week is really busy, and we’ve run out of carts. This leaves the customers having to wait for cart pushers to bring back carts, or to go into the parking lot and find it themselves. We cannot send more than three cart pushers, because we do not have enough rope. I see the same customer waiting while I am taking a break.)

    Customer: “What is wrong with you! There are no carts! This is no time to stand around while people are waiting. How come you guys don’t know to send more people!”

    Me: “Well, sir, I’ve been pushing carts for two hours, and I need to stay hydrated. And besides, someone, if you remember took our rope. Therefore, we can only send three people out to carts.”

    (The customer doesn’t know what to say. He gives me a dirty look, and starts to walk away. He runs into my manager.)

    Customer: “Your employee is accusing me of stealing your ropes! You guys are so incompetent! You can’t even get your s*** together and get carts!”

    Manager: “I told you last week to not take our ropes. Get out of my store; I don’t want to see you here anymore.”

    (The customer kicks a cart on the way out and speeds off. As he does, I can still see he hasn’t unloaded the kennel, and it’s still secured with the rope.)


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