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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Interested In Another Kind Of Bun

    , | Vernon, BC, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Welcome to [Fast Food Chain]. My name is [Name]. What can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Hey, [My Name], I’d like a large double-double.”

    Me: “Anything else for you?”

    Customer: “Yo, do you have any hookers?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “You know, hookers.”

    Me: “Yeah, no. We don’t carry those here, sorry.”

    Customer: “Aw, man! Well, whatever, I guess we’ll try [rival fast food chain right next to ours].”

    Me: “Sounds like a good plan.”

    (I almost got in trouble for saying ‘no’ to a customer and referring them to our rival, until my boss learned what they had been asking for!)

    A Perfectly Natural Request

    | Scotland, UK | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

    (I’m an off duty, live-in receptionist who has been called back to work because of a guest complaint that no one seems to know how to deal with. I phone up to the guest’s room.)

    Me: “Hello, sir, I understand you have a complaint about your room. What seems to be the problem?”

    Guest: “Yes, it’s raining too loudly outside, and I can’t fall asleep!”

    Just Burst Their Kentucky Fried Bubble, Part 3

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I work for a gourmet chocolate shop, and the majority of our products are imported from several factories in Europe.)

    Customer: “Do you have chocolate turkeys for Thanksgiving?”

    Me: “No, Ma’am, we do not.”

    Customer: “Why the f*** not?!”

    Me: “Well, we’re a Swiss company, and they don’t celebrate Thanksgiving.”

    Customer: “You’re a f***ing liar. Like h*** they don’t celebrate it. It’s a national holiday!”

    Me: “Yes, it is. It’s a national holiday, Ma’am. It’s only celebrated here, in the US. You can try [other European brand], though. I’m pretty sure I saw chocolate turkeys in their window display.”

    Customer: “Trying to make me look stupid, huh? Well fine, I’m never shopping here again! And everyone knows that turkeys are extinct in Europe, so why would [other European brand] have chocolate f****** turkeys?!”

    Me: “…and you have a lovely day, Ma’am.”

    Related:
    From NotAlwaysLearning
    Just Burst Their Kentucky Fried Bubble, Part 2
    Just Burst Their Kentucky Fried Bubble

    Nine-Dumb-Dumb

    | CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I am the after-hours emergency line representative for a property management company. We essentially handle things that are association responsibility and will cost the association money, not the homeowner.)

    Homeowner: “I think someone is breaking into my house!”

    Me: “Did you call the police?”

    Homeowner: “No, why would I do that?”

    Me: “Because we don’t offer security service. We only dispatch people out for things like plumbing emergencies, or broken sprinklers.”

    Homeowner: “What do I do?”

    Me: “Call 911.”

    Homeowner: “Can you do it for me?”

    Me: “Ma’am, 911 tracks the location of the caller. If you feel threatened, you need to call 911 right now.”

    Homeowner: “God-d***-it, what the h*** do I pay monthly dues for?” *hangs up*

    Filed Away In The Embarrassment Folder

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (A customer brings in a USB drive from which to print a document. I plug it into the print center’s PC.)

    Me: “Alrighty, ma’am, which file are we printing for you today?”

    Customer: “I don’t see mine in here. Can you try opening the MISC folder to see if it’s in there?”

    (I open the folder as requested.)

    Customer: “It’s not in there! Oh, don’t tell me it didn’t download to my drive!”

    Me: “Aw, that’s a bummer! Did you want to try looking in some of the other folders?”

    Customer: “No! It wouldn’t be in any of those!”

    Me: “Do you possibly have the file in your email, by any chance? If you could pull up the attachment on your phone, we could print it that way.”

    (I unplug the drive and hand it back to the customer. Suddenly angry, she snatches it from my hand and storms off.)

    Customer: “No! I’m going to go back home, save it again, and THEN I’m going to have it printed SOMEWHERE ELSE!”

    Me: “What…?”


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