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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Thinkless And Thankless

    | MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Money

    (To make it easier to keep track of how long things have been in our store, the date is printed on their tags along with a corresponding color. Right now we’re running a 50% off sale for almost every tag color except two, and there are multiple signs on our walls telling our customers this. A customer walks in briskly and approaches my counter without even looking at me.)

    Customer: “I don’t want to think today. You’re going to tell me the price of things.”

    Me: “Uh… okay?”

    (The customer shoves a coat in my face.)

    Customer: “How much is this?”

    Me: “Well, what does the tag say?”

    Customer: “I don’t want to think!”

    Me: *looks at tag* “Well, it says that it’s $69. It’s also printed on a mint green tag. That means it’s 50% off right now.”

    Customer: “I don’t want to think about it! How much is that?”

    Me: “Well, half of 70 is 35, so it will be about $35.”

    (The customer leaves the coat on my counter, and walks away in a huff. She then brings up another coat.)

    Customer: “How much is this one?”

    Me: “Well, what does that tag say?”

    Customer: “I don’t know! I don’t want to think about it!”

    Me: “The tag says it’s $99, and since it’s an orange tag, there’s no discount on it today.”

    (The customer throws this coat down on top of the other, then proceeds to bring me a third.)

    Customer: “How much is this one?”

    Me: “Well, what does the tag say?”

    Customer: “I already told you that I don’t want to think about it!”

    (She walks out of my store angrily. Meanwhile, one of the regulars who was in the store and witnessed the entire exchange comes up to me.)

    Regular: “Wow. She didn’t even say thank you.”

    Paying A Hire Price

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Top

    (I’m purchasing something from my workplace, and they happen to give very generous discounts to employees.)

    Manager: “Alright kiddo, that’ll be $5.59.”

    (I pay for my item. The next customer in line happens to be purchasing the same item.)

    Manager: “That’ll be $22.39, please.”

    Customer: “What!? That guy only paid five bucks for his! Why do I have to pay over $20?”

    Manager: “Sir, he works here. He gets an employee discount.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m not paying this price! I want to pay what he paid! This is a complete rip-off!”

    Manager: “Alright, when can you start?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Manager: “The discount is for employees only. When can you start? I think I can arrange an interview for you next week.”

    Customer: “Why the h*** would I want to work here? I already have a well-paying job! I don’t want to deal with any stupid customers!”

    Manager: “And that’s why he gets a discount, and you don’t!”

    Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 4

    | SA, Australia | Crazy Requests

    Customer: “I’m looking for this vacuum cleaner.”

    (The customer points to a picture in our latest clearance brochure.)

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but it’s sold out. I can take a rain-check if you like.”

    Customer: “What do you mean it’s sold out? It’s in your catalogue!”

    Me: “Yeah, but this sale started more than a week ago. They’re going for 80% off, so they’ve been pretty popular. All of our stores in the state are sold out, but we’re hoping to order more in if we get enough rain-checks.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand. Where are they in this store?”

    Me: “Uh, we don’t have any. They’re all gone. They sold out several days ago.”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “Well… because other customers bought them I guess?”

    Customer: “Why did they do that?”

    Me: “Probably for the same reason you wanted to get one—to vacuum with.”

    Customer: “Well, you shouldn’t let people buy them all!” *storms out*

    Related:
    Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 3
    Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 2

    This Round He Lost (In Translation), Part 3

    | Cabazon, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (Our mall is a big tourist destination. They don’t often speak English, and occasionally have translators. They are also notorious for wanting ‘new’ items ‘from the back’, even if the item is brand new.)

    Me: “Hello, sir, what can I help you find?”

    (The customer looks at me confused, then to his translator, who tells him what I said. The translator responds to me.)

    Translator: “He would like this dress shirt in his size.”

    (I measure the man, and get his dress shirt size from the wall. He removes the tissue paper, cardboard, and plastic clips that all new shirts come with. After looking at it, he drops it on to the ground.)

    Translator: “He says he likes it. Can you get him one?”

    Me: “So, he doesn’t want that one?”

    Translator: “It’s for a gift; he wants a folded one. This one is dirty.”

    (I notice an assistant manager is behind me, waiting to see if I need them to step in.)

    Me: “I didn’t see anything on it when I pulled it out, but if it’s damaged, I can have a manager approve a discount for you?”

    Translator: “No. He only wants a new one. He says it’s ‘ruined’ now.”

    Me: “Alright, let me go see what I can do.”

    (I take the shirt for reference and go to the back. I refold his shirt, exactly as they are packaged, and take it back.)

    Me: “How about this one?”

    (The customer looks very happily at me, and says thank you several times before wandering off to the register.)

    Manager: “Was that the same shirt?”

    Me: “Yep.”

    Manager: “Did you clean it with a lint roller or something?”

    Me: “Nope, but two can play at the bull-s*** game.”

    Related:
    This Round He Lost (In Translation), Part 2
    This Round He Lost (In Translation)

    There… Are… Four… Pumps!

    | NM, USA | Crazy Requests, Top, Transportation

    (One of my regulars comes in.)

    Regular: “$20 on pump five.”

    Me: “We don’t have a pump five. We only have four pumps.”

    Regular: “Yes you do. I’m on the white car.”

    (I look out the window to see what pump she’s on, and I am surprised to see four white cars.)

    Me: “Which white car one is yours, ma’am?”

    Regular: “The white one!”

    Me: “Ma’am, all the cars on the pumps are white; what make is yours?”

    Regular: “THE WHITE ONE! Just put $20 on five so I can go!”

    Me: “We still don’t have a pump five, and I’m trying to find out what car is yours, seeing as no one else is in here to tell me what one isn’t theirs.”

    Regular: “It is your job to know exactly what car is mine! I have no reason to tell you what car is mine; just put my gas on pump five so I can get out of here.”

    Me: “Okay, fine, I will put $20 on pump five.”

    Regular: “Now was that so hard?”

    (The customer leaves, and I sit and wait for her to return to complain that her gas isn’t pumping. Seeing as I should know her car, and have explained that we don’t have a pump five, I don’t put the money in when she picks up the handle for pump four.)

    Regular: “Why isn’t my gas pumping on pump four?”

    Me: “I put it on pump five, like you asked.”

    Regular: “IT’S PUMP FOUR! GOD, LEARN MY CAR ALREADY!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I have over 100 regulars who come into this store. If I memorized every one of their cars, I wouldn’t have to room for anything else. Next time you are in, remember we don’t have a pump five, and we are not required to know what car you drive. I’m just here to take money and push buttons.”

    Regular: “Useless… just useless! I’m late for work because of you! My job is more important!”

    Me: “Oh goody! Where do you work?”

    Regular: “At [local fast food restaurant].”

    Me: “Well, okay then. If you hadn’t actually been fighting with me, and simply explained that you were on the back pump closest to the fence, you’d be on your way to your job. Have a nice day!”

    Regular: “I’m never shopping here again!”

    Me: “See you next week.”

    (I did.)


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