Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Talking At-At Cross Purposes
    (1,393 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Hoping To Bend The Law

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Money

    Me: “Good morning. [Law Firm].”

    Caller: “I was wondering if [Lawyer] could give me some advice on getting alimony after my divorce.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. [Lawyer] does not offer free legal advice. Her hourly rate is [rate], and I can schedule you a meeting for [set price].”

    Caller: “I’m not really looking to pay. Can you give me advice?”

    Me: “I am not a lawyer, thus am not qualified to give legal advice. I would hate to steer you wrong.”

    Caller: “Well, what if I told you what I wanted to know, you asked [Lawyer], took notes, and then you called me back?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. I will not do that.”

    Caller: “This is very poor customer service!” *hangs up*

    Completely Off His Trolley

    | Perth, WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I am opening the supermarket. A customer drags two locked trolleys over to me from the trolley bays.)

    Customer: “I’ve got two trolleys, but I only want one.”

    Me: “It’s okay. Just take them back to the bays, put the plug back in, and then put your coin in the first trolley, not the second one.”

    (I continue to unlock the bollards blocking the front door and as I take it inside I see the customer is still standing there.)

    Me: “I can’t help you here. You need to take it back to the trolley bays.” *gesture to where he’d gotten his trolley*

    (The customer just stands there, right in front of the door, where I needed to place the mat.)

    Me: “Sir, just take the trolleys back to the trolley return and I’ll help you in a sec. I just need to put the mat down.”

    (After several seconds, I give up waiting for him to move and guide him and his trolleys back to the bays, carrying the rolled up mat.)

    Me: “Now, just pop the plug back in, take your dollar, and put it in the first trolley.”

    Customer: “What plug?”

    Me: “The one from the next trolley. It’s on the chain in front of you… The red thing… on the chain… The one you pulled out after you put your coin in…”

    (I give up completely. Juggling the mat in one hand, I manage to take the plug, insert it back into the trolley with his coin, take his returned dollar coin out, put it in to the first trolley for him, and remove the plug. I turn back to the door and just as I’m about to roll out the mat he comes over with his trolley and stops, RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE DOOR.)

    Close, But No Cigar

    | Reno, NV, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Language & Words

    (I work at the front counter of a chain store, and am responsible for all tobacco sales during my shift. A customer comes up to the counter and waves a $20 bill at me.)

    Customer: “[Brand].”

    Me: “Sure. What kind?”

    Customer: “[Brand]!”

    Me: “Sir, I have a lot of different kinds of [Brand]. Which one do you want?”

    Customer: *getting annoyed* “[Brand]!”

    Me: “Short or long?”

    (There is a long pause.)

    Me: “Sir?”

    Customer: “[Brand]!”

    (I point at the cigarettes at the top left corner and slowly slide my finger along the 12-foot display. I repeat this for every shelf until the customer finally speaks.)

    Customer: *excitedly* “Finally! [Brand]!”

    (I ring up his cigarettes and the customer leaves.)

    Manager: “Does he even speak English?”

    Me: “He did yesterday!”

    A New Form Of Reverse Psychology

    , | CO, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I am working the drive thru and we were about to close. I see a car full of high-schoolers pull up to the window and the whole car is backwards. I go see what’s going on.)

    Customer: “I bet you haven’t seen a car drive backwards through your drive thru before!”

    Me: “No, sure haven’t!”

    Customer: “So this means we get free food then right? For being original?”

    Me: “Um, no. Nice try.”

    Customer: “Okay. Had to try.” *drives off in reverse*

    South Of The Border Of Unreason

    | Tijuana, Mexico | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a company that works on providing phone-based tech support to other US-based telephone companies.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Provider]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

    Caller: “Oh, hello. My name is [Name]. I have a box from [Provider] that I want removed from my lawn. It’s been sitting there for two days.”

    Me: “Well, sir, you should have picked it up, since once the equipment arrives to your home it becomes your responsibility, and you must ship it back.”

    Caller: “You don’t understand. I want you to send somebody from [Provider] to pick up that box for me.”

    Me: “Sir, I can send you over someone to pick it up, but that’s going to cost you $75 USD.”

    Caller: “No. I want it picked up for free. I don’t want that box.”

    Me: “Then you must pick it up yourself and send it back to [Provider] via UPS or postal service, or drop it off with a sales representative at a [Provider] store.”

    Caller: “I don’t want to do it. I want you to pick it up for me and take it away. For free. Don’t you understand? Am I calling to India or something like that?”

    Me: “You are speaking to Tijuana, Mexico, and I do understand you, sir. However, we cannot send anyone to pick up the box, since it’s your responsibility to do so.”

    Caller: “You must speak Spanish. Bring someone over to the phone who can understand English.”

    Me: “I do understand you, sir. But that doesn’t change that you must still bring that box yourself or you will be charged for not returning the equipment.”

    Caller: “No, you are speaking Spanish. Bring me someone who can speak English.”

    Me: “Sir, we’re speaking in English.”

    Caller: “I doubt it.”

    Me: “Well, believe it. We’re speaking in English.”

    Caller: “I refuse to speak with you. Bring me someone who can speak English. Bring me your f****** supervisor.”

    (My supervisor in this moment was away on a meeting, and the only supervisor available that day was already taking a call.)

    Me: “Sir, my supervisor will tell you the same.”

    Caller: “Then f****** bring me your supervisor’s boss.”

    Me: “Even if I take it to God himself, he’ll still tell you that you must grab that box and ship it back via postal service. And this is your first warning, sir. If you keep talking that way, I will be forced to terminate this call.”

    Caller: “Bring me your f****** supervisor. I refuse to speak with you, f****** wetback.”

    (Our company has a policy of reserving the right to withdraw from this kind of calls if the customer comes up with these kinds of tantrums.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Provider tech support]. We apologize that your problem will go unresolved. Do not bother calling back. Have a nice day.” *click*

    (When I later check the records, I found out that this customer had already called four times for the same reason!)

    Page 52/141First...5051525354...Last