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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Lawless And Clueless

    | FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Transportation

    (I work as a receptionist at a retirement home.)

    Resident #1: “I want you to call the police right away.”

    Me: “Um. May I ask why?”

    Resident #1: “I called for a taxi and it still isn’t here. I want the police to arrest the driver.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry about your wait but I don’t think the police should be involved with something like that.”

    Resident #1: “I don’t care. I’m a very important person. I have connections. Call the police.”

    Me: “Why don’t I call the taxi company to see where it is? I mean, it’s not like the driver can break traffic laws just to pick you up.”

    Resident #1: “I am above the law. With one word I can get this whole company shut down. I can—”

    Resident #2: *slowly walks up to desk with walker* “Is that your taxi outside?”

    Resident #1: “Ah, yes. Goodbye.”

    Resident #2: *waits until the first resident leaves* “What a b****.”

    Ordering Like A Headless Chicken

    , | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a restaurant that only sells fried chicken. My manager answers the phone.)

    Manager: “Welcome to [Chicken Place]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, [Pizza Place]?”

    Manager: “No, this is [Chicken Place].”

    Caller: “I’d like two large pizzas with–”

    Manager: “Ma’am, this is–”

    Caller: *shouting over her* “PEPPERONI! And I want those green peppers and don’t put on that seasoning stuff–”

    Manager: “No, ma’am, this isn’t a pizza place. This is–”

    Caller: “And on one of those, on half, I want sausage.”

    Manager: “We don’t sell pizza!”

    Caller: “Do you still do that special crust? With the cheese?”

    Manager: “No, we–”

    Caller: “Oh, okay. I’ll just take the regular crust, then. How much is it?”

    Manager: *facepalming incredibly hard* “Ma’am. We do not sell pizza. We sell chicken. This is [Chicken Place].”

    Caller: “Oh. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

    Electronic Moronic

    | Augusta, GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a big box electronics store, which is all we sell, and am answering the phones.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “I need your electronics department.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. Which section?”

    Caller: “Your electronics department.”

    Me: “We are only an electronics store, ma’am. Did you need computers, TVs, phones?”

    Caller: “Electronics, please. I have already told you this.”

    Me: “Yes, and as I have said we only sell electronics and I need to know what you are looking for.”

    Caller: “Godd*** it, I already told you. Electronics!”

    Me: “Please hold.”

    (I place the customer on hold and turn to a coworker.)

    Me: “Answer this and just say electronics so we can find out what she needs.”

    Doesn’t Live In The Real World

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Time

    (I’m the manager of a watch store in a mall. I am taking care of some display work when a couple walks up to my kiosk.)

    Me: “Hi there! Is there anything I can help you find today?”

    Customer: “Hey. No, thanks. I think we’re just looking.”

    Me: “Okay, sounds good. Just let me know if you have any questions.”

    (I go back to my display work and the couple wanders around the booth. As they come closer to me I notice the man is looking confused. I’m about to ask him if there’s something I can clear up for him when he speaks up.)

    Customer: “Are any of these watches real?”

    Me: “I… What?”

    Customer: “These watches you’re selling. Are any of them real?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. All of my watches are 100% authentic time pieces.”

    (Meanwhile, his wife is snickering.)

    Customer: “No, I mean are any of these real gold?”

    Me: “I’m afraid not, sir. Seeing as I am in a kiosk in the middle of a mall, I do not have the security systems in place for me to sell genuine gold watches, which often start at several thousands of dollars.”

    Customer: “Oh, but what about this one right here? It looks like it would be a real gold watch.”

    Me: “No, sir. That watch is gold colored plating over base metal, mostly nickel. It runs $39.95.”

    Customer: “Oh. But are those real diamonds on it?”

    Me: “… No. I think they’re glass or plastic.”

    Customer: “You sure you don’t have anything real in the back?

    Me: “I’m a kiosk, sir. I don’t have a ‘back.’”

    Customer’s Wife: *outright laughing now* “I am so sorry. You have been so patient!”

    (She drags him away. A manager at the next store who has observed this and is in hysterics.)

    Me: “I give up. Are you hiring?”

    The Hair Apparent

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (The manager calls me to the front of the store to deal with an angry customer: I had laminated her elementary school son’s photo collage. I should have realized something was up when I see the manager is smirking.)

    Customer: “You laminated one of your hairs in my son’s collage!”

    Me: “I really doubt it.”

    (I point out I am wearing a hat.)

    Customer: *now super angry* “Don’t contradict me. You have ruined this collage!”

    Me: “No, ma’am. I really don’t think that long blond hair is mine.”

    (I pull off my hat. I have a shaved head.)

    Customer: “Well, then, someone else must have put it there. Like her!” *points to a coworker with blond hair*

    Me: “Ma’am, I am the only person who has touched this order. This hair appears to be yours.”

    Customer: “Well… you should have never laminated the hair in then!”

    (I point to the order form where the customer has circled ‘as is’.)

    Customer: “Aaargh!” *storms out*

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