November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

An Odd Place To Have A Pet Hate

| TX, USA | TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(This is a phone call I received from a client.)

Me: “Animal Clinic, this is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I was hoping to reschedule my appointment. I tried coming in yesterday, but the lobby was very full of pets, and it aggravated my allergies. Could I make an appointment for a time when the lobby won’t be full of pets?”

Me: “Ma’am, you do realize that this is a veterinary clinic? I cannot guarantee that the lobby won’t have other pets in it at any time. First thing in the morning will probably be your best bet for it not being too crowded.”

Customer: “Okay, but if the lobby is too full of pets again, then I’ll have to leave. You really should be more considerate about people’s allergies.”

Not Gifted In The Art Of Returns

| CO, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(While starting up my medical program, I am working at an outdoor style clothing store, which is a person’s name and not just initials or a place, in the mall. We are pretty busy, resulting in me being stuck on the register since I am the fastest at it.  I am the team leader for the current shift when this guy comes in with a hand full of socks, two shirts, and a pair of jeans. With him is a reasonably attractive blond, who I believe is his wife, since they have matching wedding bands on.)

Me: “Hey, how are you? What can I do for you?”

Him: “Well, my secretary got me all this stuff for my birthday and none of it is my style. I have never shopped at [Store] before and I don’t intend to. Not to mention none of these fit.”

Me: “Oh, no problem. Do you happen to have the receipt or gift receipt?”

(The man sighs, tapping the jeans with the palm of his hands.)

Him: “No, why would I? It was a gift. I told you that.”

Me: “Which is why I asked if you had a gift receipt. It’s all good, though. I can still get these returned for you. I don’t remember any of these having a sale outside of our coupons.”

(I ring everything up, coming up with a decent amount, and let him know.)

Me: “So, no, nothing was on sale, so I can give you the full price of it all. However, I can only do a gift card or a merchandise credit.”

Him: “WHAT?! Just give me the cash!”

Me: “I cannot do that. The register doesn’t even give me the option to do that. I will, unfortunately, also need your driver license to finalize the return.”

Him: “This is absolutely uncalled for! I am NOT giving your my license! I am NOT taking store credit! I told you I NEVER SHOP HERE! There is NOTHING you have that I want! I want to talk to who’s in charge!”

Me: “Hello, that’s me.”

(I smile and wave at him like an anime character.)

Him: “This is absolute bull-s***! You are an a**-hole! I can’t believe you don’t want to help me!”

Me: “I am helping you. You just don’t want the help.”

(At this point he grabs everything, while still screaming about how the ‘Return Anything Without A Receipt’ sign is a lie, so I point out where it says ‘Store Credit.’ As he’s screaming profanities at this point, I tell him he needs to leave or I’m having the police escort him out, since they have officers walking the mall. He hands the items to his arm candy, and he can’t help but scream one more time.)

Him: “I am NEVER shopping here again!

Me: “According to you, you never shopped here to begin with! You’re kind of like a vegetarian boycotting KFC: It doesn’t matter.”

A Low Satisfaction Curve

| Australia | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(The hotel I work in is round and the outside wall of each room follows the curve of the hotel. Upon request the guest has been given an early check-in. Not 10 minutes later she comes back down to the desk.)

Me: “Good morning again. Is there something else I could help you with?”

Guest: “Yes. I want another room.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Is anything in particular wrong with your current room?”

Guest: “I don’t like the way the room curves… You know?”

Me: “…I’m sorry, ma’am, but every room curves in much the same fashion.”

Guest: “You should get that fixed.”

A Dally Over A Dollar

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests

(I’m in line to check out at an everything-is-a-dollar store. An elderly lady is in front of me, trying to do a return of some fake flowers.)

Cashier: “I’m sorry, but we don’t do refunds. We only do exchanges.”

Customer: “But I was told that I could return these if they were the wrong ones!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, but we don’t even have an option on the register to do that. I could call a manager for you.”

Customer: “Yes, do that.”

(The manager comes over to talk to the woman as the cashier rings me up. The customer, despite that we’re the only customers in the store at the time, is being quite loud.)

Customer: “These are the wrong color! I don’t need them, and I don’t need $11 of anything else in here! I want my money back!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, but since everything in here is only a dollar, we do not provide refunds, only exchanges.”

Customer: “But that’s not what I was told! I was told I could get a refund, not that I would have to get something else! That’s false advertising!”

(Meanwhile, the cashier has finished ringing me up and has handed me my receipt.)

Me: *in a low voice so the cashier is the only one who can hear me* “It says it on the receipt.”

Cashier: “What?”

Me: “Right here, on the bottom. You have 30 days for an exchange of a product. We do not offer refunds.”

Cashier: *also whispering* “You feel my pain.”

Me: “I used to work in retail. I swear, customers need to pass a reading comprehension test before they try to get around the policies written right on the receipt.”

(At this point, I didn’t notice that the customer had approached behind me while I was talking to the cashier.)

Me: “I swear. Some people think they can get away with anything. It’s $11. Just go buy some candles or batteries or something. You never know when the power will go out. But don’t complain about a return policy that is right there on the receipt in your hand. You have a lovely day, and hopefully that’s the craziest customer you’ll have this month.”

(I turn around to face the customer who’s glaring at me with a bright red face.)

Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Not In Pole Position

| Salem, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work in the ‘sporting goods’ department when a customer approaches me with a fishing pole. He proceeds to hand me the pole and says:)

Customer: “This pole is broken!”

(I look at it and can find no defects, so I ask the customer what is wrong with it.)

Customer: “The eyes on the top part of the pole do not line up with the bottom half.”

(I took the pole and straightened out the top so that all of the eyes were in line and handed it back to him. Needless to say, he was extremely embarrassed…)