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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Knowledge Of Cows Is A Bit Green

    | Madison, TN, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (A customer is looking around.)

    Me: “Ma’am, can I help you look for something?”

    Customer: “Yes. I’m looking for a green leather couch.”

    Me: “At this time, we have sold all of our green leather couches, but we can order one for you.”

    Customer: “I’m not stupid you know. The leather comes in green!”

    Me: “Ma’am, rawhide color of leather is a tanned beige color. It has to be dyed a specific color then it is processed and installed on a frame.”

    Customer: “Are you saying I’m stupid?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. You’re just not gonna find a green cow anywhere!”

    Suffering From Organic Failure

    | ME, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I work in a photo lab as well as sales. We often get students from the local college picking up their film and photo paper from us since we give specialty bulk deals to students and teachers. One afternoon, I am working the lab on my own when I spot a customer wandering through the paper aisle. She looks confused and slightly annoyed, so I decide to try and help, as the other salespeople are busy.)

    Me: “Hi, there! Is there anything I can help you with?”

    Customer: “Where do you keep your organic black and white photo paper?”

    Me: “… I’m sorry, organic photo paper?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “As in… black and white darkroom photo paper that is not chemically treated?”

    (I’m confused by this, as photo paper is always chemically treated. Photos are developed in darkrooms through a chemical reaction process.)

    Customer: “Yes. I would like to find some for my Photo 101 class I’m taking this fall. Should be a hoot! I’m vegan, which is why I ask.”

    Me: *dumbfounded* “Right.”

    Customer: “Also, where do you keep…” *checks list* “… darkroom developer and fixer?”

    Me: “On your right, the big brown bottles. They’ll be labeled.”

    (She walks over and finds them. When she reads the labels, she frowns.)

    Customer: “Wait… These have chemicals. I asked for organic ones!”

    Me: “You want organic photo developer and fixer?”

    Customer: “Yes! Why is that so hard to understand?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I think you’re a bit ahead of the curve on that front. But if you can be the first to develop it, I’ll be the first in line to buy.”

    Just Paper Cut Right To It

    | FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Rude & Risque

    (I answer the phone at work.)

    Customer: “Hi. My name is [Name] and I am with [Gentlemen's Club].  I am going to need to order some change.”

    Me: “Okay. What will you need?”

    Customer: “I need $1,400 in old ones.”

    Me: “I believe I have $1,400 in ones, but I am not sure if they are all old.”

    Customer: “Oh, I have to have old ‘ones’ because the new ones give the strippers paper cuts.”

    Playing With Fire

    | OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I work in a gas station that is a part of a larger superstore. We get a lot of calls to the gas station from customers trying to reach the store, but we can’t transfer them to the store from the station. This call happens during a crisis involving the main store catching on fire. Smoke and flames are clearly visible from the gas station, and it looks pretty bad. Everyone has been evacuated from the main store.)

    Me: “Hello. Thank you for calling [Gas Station]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Toy department.”

    Me: “Ma’am, this is actually the gas statio—”

    Customer: *louder* “TOY DEPARTMENT.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, but this is just the gas station. I cannot transfer you from here. Normally I’d give you the number for the main store. But, um, everyone’s evacuated because the store is kind of on fire right now.”

    Customer: “What? TOY DEPARTMENT, for Christ’s sake! Why won’t you just help me?”

    Me: “As I said before, ma’am, THE BUILDING IS ON FIRE. I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to call back at a later time. There is no one in the store to take your call right now.”

    Customer: “WHY THE H*** NOT?!”

    Verbal Abuse Of Contract

    | Houston, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

    Me: “You have a 24-month contract. If you cancel before the end of the agreement you will have an early termination fee.”

    Customer: “I am telling you verbally to cancel the contract. So you can’t charge me a fee.”

    Me: “Ma’am, you signed the contract. It is binding. Do you recall signing the contract when your service was activated?”

    Customer: “Yes, I signed the contract. But it’s void because I’m telling you verbally to cancel it.”

    Me: “Telling us to cancel the contract does not void it. That’s like calling my mortgage company and saying my contract is invalid and I don’t owe any more payments because I am telling them verbally it’s cancelled.”

    Customer: “But I am saying it. Verbally. So now I don’t have a contract.”

    (I sent her a copy of her contract. Hopefully someone helped her to understand what a contract was.)

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