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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    It’s All Downhill From Here

    | Helsinki, Finland | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Spouses & Partners

    (I’m a customer buying ski boots at a store, when I over hear a conversation between another customer and a clerk.)

    Customer: “Yes, I bought these ski boots a week ago, but they are faulty!”

    Clerk: “I’m sorry about that, what seems to be the problem with them?”

    Customer: “These locks won’t hold; they keep opening up!”

    Clerk: “Would you let me see the boots, please?”

    (The customer hands to the boots to the clerk, and he fastens the locks and can’t find anything wrong with them.)

    Clerk: “I’m sorry, miss; the locks seem to work all fine. Could you explain more how they won’t hold?”

    Customer: “Well of course they hold when you put them so tight to third position! Put them to first position and you’ll see! They won’t hold locked!”

    Clerk: “But wouldn’t the ski boots be too loose for you to wear then?”

    Customer: “Just put the locks to the first position and you’ll see!”

    (The clerk puts the locks to the first position, and they do ‘fall off’.)

    Customer: “See, these are faulty!”

    Clerk: “But miss, these locks are used to fasten the boot around your foot. They are supposed to be put tight and not left loose.”

    Customer: “But if I want to wear them on the first position, I should be able to do that! Why is there the first position anyway, if I can’t use it, huh? You tell me why? I won’t get full usage for my money if I can’t use all the positions!”

    Clerk: “Every person has a little bit different sized feet and that’s why the locks are adjustable. The point is not to use all the positions of the lock but to adjust the ski boot to match your feet.”

    Customer: “But what if I want to use the first position? Now I can’t; these boots are faulty!”

    Clerk: “I can take these back if you wish, but I have to tell you that you will have the exact same problem with every other ski boot, too. The idea is to find the adjustment good for your feet, not to use all the positions.”

    Customer: “I want to return these, they’re faulty! You should be ashamed of yourselves selling this kind of faulty items!”

    (I can’t help giggling, and the other customer gives me some nasty glances. The customer then takes a call, I presume from her boyfriend/husband.)

    Customer: “They’re taking the boots back, but are you sure this is right? The other customers are laughing at me… Of course hun… Yeah I know, they probably don’t know anything about skiing. I’m glad the fault was found this quickly. I can’t believe they would sell something like this. Okay, I gotta go; the clerk’s coming back.”

    Clerk: “Here’s your money miss. And I’m sorry you weren’t satisfied with the product.”

    Customer: “Well, you should be. But thanks, anyway. I’ll go buy my boots somewhere else!”

    (The customer then turns and leaves. The clerk and I have a laugh at the story. I reserve the boots until next day for myself. They are really good, but I still want to try some other boots, too. I go to another sporting store and I see the same customer in there. She is giving them a hard time about the lock positions. She accuses the clerk of being incompetent, and that her boyfriend knows everything about skiing, and that she should be able to use which ever position she wants on the locks.)

    So Slow It Hertz, Part 2

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Movies & TV, Technology

    (I’m working box office today, and it’s been a really long, busy day. After so many hours, the registers sometimes lag a bit during transactions. We’re finally slowing down a bit, and the lines are pretty much gone.)

    Me: “Alright, so you wanted two tickets for Silver Linings Playbook?”

    Customer: “Yes, please.”

    (I hit the buttons for her tickets, but the computer freezes up a bit.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. My computer is being slow right now.”

    Customer: *gasps* “You take that back!”

    Me: “Ma’am?”

    Customer: “Everyone knows ‘slow’ is not politically correct! Your computer is ‘mentally impaired’!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s a computer…”

    Customer: “And I suppose next you’ll say it’s retarded?! You people are so insensitive; it makes me sick!”

    (I’m speechless, so I hand her the tickets as quickly as possible.)

    Me: “E-enjoy your show.”

    (She takes the tickets and shakes her head, glaring at me, before walking away. The next customer comes up to me.)

    Customer #2: “What the heck was she going on about?”

    Me: “I don’t know, but apparently my computer is mentally impaired and not slow.”

    Related:
    So Slow It Hertz

    Unfashionably Late

    | MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Top

    (My store offers fashion shows. It’s the day before an event, and I’m making last minute arrangements when I get paged that someone is there to talk about the show.)

    Customer: “I’d like to schedule a fashion show with you guys to support my women’s club.”

    Me: “Of course! Let me explain to you quickly what we’ll do for you.”

    (I give her a quick rundown of the fashion show program, and what we offer, but she’s tapping her foot and looking at her watch.)

    Customer: “I’m REALLY in a rush here; can we hurry it up?”

    Me: “Sure! Tell you what, all the information you need is in this packet, and there’s the contracts I will need you to sign. Why don’t you return those to me when you’re able, and we’ll work out a date that isn’t taken?”

    Customer: “A date that isn’t taken? I need it NOW!”

    Me: “Now?”

    Customer: “The event starts in an hour; I just need you to bring the stuff.”

    Me: “Ma’am… I schedule fashion shows six months out.”

    Customer: “What? You mean that you won’t do it?”

    Me: “On this short notice? No.”

    Customer: “But I’ve been advertising this for months! We’ve sold over 100 tickets! We have themed the whole event around it!”

    Me: “Wait, so you printed invitations and got decorations, but didn’t talk to me until now?”

    Customer: “Oh, just grab your models! I don’t have time for this.”

    Me: “I don’t just keep the models in the back room!”

    Refunder Blunder

    | Rochester Hills, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

    (A customer has walked up to my register carrying a bag from a competitor. We’re a well-known, national chain drugstore and our stores are fairly small. The competitor is a major big box retailer. The names are not similar and our primary color is blue; the competitor’s color is red. The competitor is located on the other end of town.)

    Customer: “I need to make a return.”

    Me: “Okay. Do you have your receipt?”

    Customer: “Yes, it’s still in the bag.”

    (I reach into the bag and find a private brand item from the competitor and a receipt, also from the competitor.)

    Me: “Well, ma’am, unfortunately this item was purchased at another store, so I’m afraid I can’t do a return for you here.”

    Customer: “WHAT?! I bought it here yesterday!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but this is generic brand for a different store. It is not possible you bought it here.”

    Customer: “Yes I did! The receipt is right there!”

    Me: “The only receipt in this bag is from [competitor].”

    Customer: “YES.”

    Me: “You’re at [my store].”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Me: “Not [competitor].”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Me: *holding up the circular* “You’re at [my store]. I cannot accept a return from [competitor], as it’s a different company, and this is not a brand that we carry. You need to go to [competitor] to return this item.”

    Customer: “Oh! You’re not [competitor]!”

    Having A Light Bulb Moment, Part 2

    | USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    Customer: “I wanted to know is it possible that I can disconnect this service from another account?”

    Me: *confused* “You’re trying to disconnect your account?”

    Customer: “I’m trying to disconnect someone else’s account, because their bills keep coming to my mailbox.”

    Me: “You’re trying to cut off someone else’s lights because their bills keep coming to you?”

    Customer: “Well… um… I probably shouldn’t do that, should I? I’ll just… take it to their door.” *click*

    Related:
    Having A Light Bulb Moment


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