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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Twice The Cheese, Double The Effort

    , | Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money

    (I used to work at a small sandwich shop at which the manager and I were the only daytime employees. Our franchise serves shredded cheese on sandwiches, and customers often try to get us to put extra cheese on, since it’s more difficult to gauge the proper amount. The following happens during our regular lunch rush, as my manager and I are running back and forth, ringing people through and making their sandwiches.)

    Me: “And what kind of cheese would you like?”

    Customer #1: “Shredded.”

    (I measure out the proper amount with our scoop and put it on his sandwich.)

    Customer #1: “No, put more than that.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but this is our standardized amount. If you want more, you’ll have to pay for extra cheese.”

    Customer #1: “No, you didn’t put enough on. You need more than that.”

    (My manager has just finished ringing someone through and comes over.)

    Manager: “No, sir, I saw her measure it out. That is the standardized amount for a footlong sandwich.”

    Customer #1: “No. I need more cheese than that!”

    (This goes back and forth for a minute as I get to work on the next customer’s order, and finally my manager puts a full extra serving of cheese on.)

    Manager: “So that will be [amount] extra when you get to the till, then.”

    Customer #1: *mutters* “Well, put more than that on, then.”

    (My manager ignores him, and I finish making his sandwich and start punching it into the till.)

    Customer #1: “And I’m not paying for extra cheese.”

    Manager: “I gave you double cheese. Are you saying you would like me to give you free food?”

    Customer #1: “You didn’t put double cheese! You put a tiny bit extra.”

    Manager: “No. You received the regular, doubled, amount. Are you going to pay for it?”

    Customer #1: “No! You should have put more! I won’t pay for extra cheese.” *smiling smugly* “So, how much is it without extra?”

    (My manager raised her eyebrows at him, canceled the order, threw the sandwich in the garbage, and went back to help the next customer in line. He stood there speechless until the other customers started applauding. Then his face turned red and he stormed out, muttering that we lost “$30.00.” His sandwich was only worth about $8.00, even with the extra cheese.)

    Urgently Divergent

    | Canada | Crazy Requests, Technology

    Client: “Hi, I just submitted a new ticket. It’s very urgent so please make it your top priority.”

    Me: “I’ve got about six tickets from you, and most of them are marked urgent. Which one do you want me to work on first?”

    Client: “All of them.”

    Got A Bad Deal(ership)

    | WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Dealership]. This is [My Name]. How may I direct your call?”

    Woman: “I just got off the phone with the bank and there is nothing wrong with my card. You need to try running it again!”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, who was your salesmen?”

    Woman: “What salesmen? I don’t know! Just try running my card again!”

    Me: “Ma’am, who were you working with?”

    Woman: “I was taking to the two ladies at the front desk.”

    Me: “Okay, I’m going to transfer you to them because I’m in a different building and am unaware of the situation.”

    Woman: “I don’t want to talk to them! They were rude and I could barely understand them! Can’t you just take my order?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but without knowing who your salesmen is or what your customer is, I don’t have a way of looking up your information.”

    Woman: “What is wrong with you?! I don’t have a salesmen! I don’t know what you’re talking about, and I just want to order my f****** pizza or is that too hard for you?!”

    Me: “…ma’am?”

    Woman: “I called the bank and there is nothing wrong with my card! So you need to take my order again!”

    Me: “…ma’am?”

    Woman: “I don’t see why you can’t just take my d*** order over the phone. This isn’t that hard!”

    Me: “…ma’am!”

    Woman: “What?!”

    Me: “This is a car dealership.”

    Woman: “…what? Well, why the h*** didn’t you say that when you answered the phone?!”

    Me: “You mean like when I said ‘thank you for calling [Dealership]’…?”

    Woman: *click*

    Not In Her Charitable Shoes

    | Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I’m an assistant manager in a charity shop. As we’re a charity, we don’t do any refunds unless the item is damaged, although we do take exchanges or credit with a receipt. There is a large printed sign clearly stating our refund policy on the counter. A volunteer calls me out to deal with a customer.)

    Volunteer: “This lady wants a refund for these shoes.”

    Me: “Okay, what’s wrong with them?”

    Customer: “They’re the wrong size.”

    Me: “Oh, sorry, I’m afraid we don’t do refunds unless the item is damaged. I can give you an exchange, or a store credit.”

    Customer: *begins to get angry” “You didn’t tell me that I couldn’t get a refund when I bought them. That’s false advertising! All other shops do refunds!”

    Me: *points to sign that is literally ON THE COUNTER* “There is a sign right here that states our refund policy; we can’t ask our volunteers to recite it to every customer. If you had asked when you bought the shoes then we would have explained the policy to you. All our profits go to charity, which is why we don’t offer refunds; most other charity shops have the exact same policy.”

    Customer: “That sign is too low; it’s ridiculous to expect people to read that!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but there is nowhere else that we could put the sign, and I feel that it’s quite clear. It’s on the counter, so everybody who buys something can see it.”

    Customer: “You should put it there!” *points to a display cabinet*

    Me: “Um… If we put it there, nobody would be able to see things inside the cabinet.”

    Customer: *by this point she is practically shouting in my face* “That’s not my problem! Your sign isn’t clear enough! I want a refund for these shoes. They’re for my mother and they’re the wrong size.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I really can’t give you a refund because you bought shoes the wrong size. You can have an exchange or credit.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe this! This is RIDICULOUS, it’s false advertising, and I’m not leaving without a refund.”

    (My manager and another manager who happened to be in the shop have come out to try to calm the customer down.)

    Manager: “Everything she’s said is absolutely right. Our policy is stated right in front of you and as a charity shop, we don’t do refunds. It’s a very common policy.”

    Customer: “I’m going to call the police! I can’t believe this! I’m calling them now!” *she takes out her phone*

    (At this point, another customer steps in:)

    Customer #2: “If you call the police, who do you think they’re going to have a problem with: the shop following their policy, which is stated RIGHT THERE, or you screaming in their faces?”

    (The customer shouts some more about calling the police and then leaves, throwing the shoes on the counter.)

    Manager: “Out of interest, how much were the shoes?”

    Me: “£5…”

    A Pulled-Teeth Burger

    | Milwaukee, WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I’m a cook at a diner with an open kitchen, but because we work with a skeleton crew, I often step onto the floor to help take orders. Today I stepped in to take an order for a man who came in alone.)

    Me: “Hello, how are you today?”

    (The customer doesn’t respond, and continues staring at the menu. After a few seconds, I continue.)

    Me: “Can I start you off with anything to drink today?”

    Customer: “Burger with fried onions and French fries!”

    Me: “And would you like anything to drink with that?”

    (The customer looks at me like I’m an idiot.)

    Customer: “Of course! A [Soda]!”

    (I proceed to enter and cook his order. After finishing his meal, the customer calls me over again.)

    Customer: “I’d like you to start that burger for my wife!”

    (No one had mentioned any burger to me, or the server.)

    Me: “Ummm, sure! What would she like on it?”

    (Customer stares at me again like I’m an idiot.)

    Customer: “You figure it out! You’re the d*** cook!”

    (It took me a few moments to comprehend what had just occurred. I was somehow, in my infinite capacity as a diner cook, to know what someone whom I’ve never met before wanted on their burger, and that I was at fault for not being able to do so. Utterly bewildered, I went back to the kitchen and called the server over.)

    Me: “Listen, I have no idea what’s going on, but the guy at B4 just placed a burger order for his wife, but won’t tell me what to put on it. Can you please find out?”

    (The server comes back almost ten minutes later, during which I had to take the remaining customers orders while cooking.)

    Server: “That was like pulling f****** teeth! Apparently she wants fried onions and mushrooms on it, no cheese.”

    Me: “What side?”

    (Server gets a look of horror on her face and looks over at the customer. She had forgotten to ask.)

    Server: “She wants fries. Give her fries.”

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