November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Can’t Save This Bacon

, | Australia | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work at a popular fast food restaurant that allows customers to make a large range of changes to their food which we occasionally get wrong, but we are always happy to fix.)

Customer: “I ordered no bacon on this burger, but you’ve put bacon on it. I’d like a fresh burger.”

Me: “We are very sorry, madam; we will get that fixed straight away.”

(I then signal to the manager who tells the chef to remake the burger fresh as is custom but take off the bacon. He then proceeds to throw the old burger in to the waste bin which is in view of the customer. She waits until the burger has been freshly made and then decides to complain again.)

Customer: “This burger is still no good.”

Me: “I’m not quite sure I understand. There is no bacon on this burger. Is there another problem?”

Customer: “Yes, you did not make a fresh burger. I heard the man tell them to take the bacon off this one.”

Me: “Ah, I understand the confusion but that is just how we communicate specific orders. We are referring to the way the burger is usually made and removing the bacon from the recipe, not your original burger. I assure you that this is a freshly made burger that hasn’t had any bacon on it.”

Customer: “I don’t believe you. I think he took the burger out back and just took the bacon off.”

(My manager then proceeded to go through the waste bin until he found the ladies original burger and produced it for her. She was still unhappy and decided she wanted a refund, and both burgers went in the trash.)

A Formless Complaint

| Wales, UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I work with the arts centre in my town. I’ve worked about seven shifts at this point, so getting to grips with things, but still a bit hesitant at times. One day in my last half an hour a tall, artfully-disheveled-looking 60-ish man enters. He charges up to the desk (and into my personal space).)

Man: *unintelligible due to the gallery’s echo*

Me: “I’m sorry; I didn’t catch that, the echo and all! Can I help?”

Man: *very condescending* “HOW… MANY… PIECES DO…” *points at me* “YOU- HAVE- IN-HERE?

Me: “Erm… I’m not exactly sure myself but I can—”

Man: “Ah, no, you’re only the help. I understand.” *under his breath* “Women.” *laughs through teeth as he charges off around the exhibition*

(15 minutes later after he’s been around the gallery.)

Me: “I hope you enjoyed the exhibition!”

Man: *smug* “Well, I counted them.”

Me: *smiling through gritted teeth* “Oh? I’m sorry that I couldn’t tell you the exact—”

Man: “There’s… a lot!”

Me: “Um…okay brilliant.”

Man: “There aren’t enough people I know in these pictures. I didn’t like it. Where did this even come from?”

Me: “It’s from the Tate.”

Man: “Oh… well, still. Maybe… arrange something more interesting next time.”

Me: “I’m not actually in control of what is shown in the exhibits, but if you could fill out a visitor survey for me, I could definitely pass your suggestions up to the curator.”

(The man just stops and stares at me for an uncomfortable five seconds.)

Man: “I don’t believe in tainting art with forms.”

Me: “…”

Man: “Just… project this onto the creative directors. Okay?”

Me: *giving up* “Okay, sure. I’ll let them know.”

Man: *emphasizing* “Project.”

(He walked outs of the gallery whilst sighing under his breath.)

You’re Only Free To Leave

| Bridgeport, CT, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

Me: “Hi there, welcome to [Store]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I would like to return this. It works fine. Just don’t want it anymore.”

Me: “Okay, let me just take a quick at the receipt see how you paid. Oh… I’m sorry, sir, this is three months outside of the return policy. I won’t be able to take it back. Is it defective?”

Customer: “What? No. So? It works. Where does it say the return policy?”

Me: “Here, there, there, and it was emailed to you. I can’t take it back being so outside the return policy and it being opened.”

Customer: “I am never shopping here again!”

Me: “Okay… sorry to hear that.”

Customer: “I will accept a free store credit for the trouble so I can buy a charger.”

Me: “No, I can’t give you a free store credit; I’m sorry.”

Customer: “This is just ridiculous! I can’t believe I can’t get free stuff here!”

Making A Classic Mistake

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Time, Transportation

(It is the 50th anniversary of President Kennedy being assassinated and one of the local papers has reprinted their edition from that afternoon, complete with the actual advertisements that ran in the paper. A customer comes into our car dealership inquiring about one of the ads….)

Customer: “Hi, I’m calling about the ad I saw in [Newspaper] about the new [Car Model] from [Our Dealership] for only $3,000 and I’d like to get one.”

Me: “Sir, that is an ad in a special commemorative reprint from 1963. That offer is exactly 50 years old, to the day. It’s long expired.”

Customer: “This is false advertising! You’re offering cars for $3,000; you’d better give me one.”

Me: “Sir, if we get a 1963 [Car Model] in stock anytime soon, I’ll give you a call and sell it to you for $3,000, okay?”

Wish You Could Part Ways

| VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

Customer: *after complaining how dealers and garages are all out to take your money and burn you* “So you are telling me you cannot fix my car?”

Mechanic: “We can fix your car; we just do not have the parts.”

Customer: “Why do you not have the parts? It is a standard part!”

Mechanic: “We do not carry parts for your vehicle. Your car is [X brand]. We are a [Y dealership] and garage. Our parts are not for your vehicle.”

Customer: “But you are a garage!”

Mechanic: “Yes for [Y vehicles], so we stock only [Y vehicle] parts.”

Customer: “So you do not have my part?”

Mechanic: “No, but we can get it.”

Customer: “If you can get it, why do you not stock it?”

Mechanic: “Because are a [Y dealership] garage. Your car is an [X brand]. If you want the parts to be in stock you need to go to an [X dealership] garage.”

Customer: “But you can get the parts so you should stock them!”

Mechanic: “Look, when the [X dealership] garage opens and the parts stores open, we will make a few calls, find the part, and send a driver out to get it.”

Customer: “If you can get the parts you should stock them!”

Mechanic: “We do not stock parts for cars that are not [Y cars]. We are not a parts store or an [X vehicle] dealer.”

Customer: “So I guess you are going to screw me over and make me wait until other stores open so you can get a part you should have in stock.”

Mechanic: “As soon as we can we will get to work or you can take your car to an [X dealer].”

Customer: “Fix it. OH, and I have a coupon.”

Mechanic: “We cannot accept it.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Mechanic: “Because it is for [Y vehicles] only. See it says right here. “Valid for [Y vehicles].”

Customer: “So you will not stock my parts and you will not accept a coupon!”

Mechanic: “…”

Customer: “So can you fix my car?”

Mechanic: “As soon as we get the part here which may be an hour or two.”

Customer: “You really need to keep my parts in stock!”

Mechanic: “Sir, we are not a… Forget it. Just have a seat; you will be called when it is ready.”