Featured Story:
  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
    (2,964 thumbs up)
  • Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Thankless And Helpless

    | Lexington, SC, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m wearing a red polo and khaki pants while walking around a store whose logo looks like a bulls-eye. I notice a woman is kicking a large stereo in a box down the main aisle heading to the registers with her foot and carrying her son in her arms.)

    Me: “Can I help you carry that?”

    Her: “YES! It’s about time someone offered to help!”

    (I am shocked as I pick up the box and follow her to the register.)

    Cashier: “Did you find everything all right?”

    Her: “No! I called for help for 15 minutes and no one showed up so I had to slide the box along the floor by myself. Then after I’ve been pushing this box for the last 10 minutes, this a***** FINALLY shows up to help!”

    Cashier: “Ma’am, he… he doesn’t work here.”

    Her: “Of course he does! He’s wearing your uniform!”

    Me: “No, I just happen to like the color red.”

    Her: “Well, you shouldn’t wear a red polo and khaki pants in [Store]!”

    (She stormed out of the store after putting her box in a buggy. I assumed some humility and a thank you would have been asking for too much.)

    Some People Need To Be Put Away

    , | MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (I am finishing up my shopping experience by doing the impossible – putting the things I don’t want back where I got them. A random woman on her phone thrusts a pile of clothes into my arms.)

    Me: “What the h***?”

    (I drop the clothes on the floor.)

    Woman: “What are you doing?! Put those away!”

    Me: “Why the h*** would I put your clothes away for you?! Put them away yourself!”

    Woman: “What the f*** is your problem?! DO YOUR JOB!”

    Me: “I DON’T work here! Why would you assume that I did?! Pick up your clothes and put them away yourself!”

    Woman: “Then why are you putting clothes away if you don’t work here?!” *smug that she caught me in a supposed lie*

    Me: “Because that’s what you do when you don’t want to buy something – YOU PUT IT BACK.”

    Woman: “Oh… Can you still put these away for me though?”

    Me: “NO! Do it yourself!”

    (She opened and closed her mouth a few times before just walking away. Some people seriously shouldn’t be allowed in stores.)

    Needs A Prescription Of Common Sense

    | PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in the mail order branch of a popular pharmacy chain. On my way to work I stop by a local retail branch of the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. I happen to be wearing a company t-shirt which, while having the variant of the company name used by the mail order branch, is nothing at all like the uniforms worn by retail employees nor is it at all professional-looking. A woman comes up next to me while I’m waiting at the pharmacy counter.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, where are allergy medicines?”

    Me: *looking around* “Over there, I think.”

    Customer: “What, don’t you know where things are in your own store?”

    Me: “Oh, I don’t work here. I actually work at [Mail Order Branch] on [Road].”

    Customer: “Oh, ok. So, which kind is safest for my son to use?”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Customer: “Which allergy medicine is safest for my son? He’s ten.”

    Me: “You would really have to ask a pharmacist.”

    Customer: “But you said you work for [Company].”

    Me: “I just package orders. I’m not a pharmacist.”

    Customer: “So why are you at the pharmacy counter?”

    Me: “I’m picking up a prescription…”

    Customer: “So you can stand here but you can’t help a customer?”

    (The pharmacy tech tells me my prescription is ready. I get it and pay, all while the woman stares at me. As I walk away the tech notices the woman standing behind me.)

    Pharmacy Tech: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “I don’t know. Apparently no one else around here can!”

    Hired And Fired And Tired

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m shopping at a large electronics store. I’m dressed casually in a blue graphic tee which, if you aren’t paying attention, for a second might look like what the employees wear.)

    Other Customer: “I need you to find this for me.”

    (I don’t respond as I am not aware that she is talking to me. I am reading the specs on the back of a box. The other customer then shoves an opened item in my hands on top of the box I am holding.)

    Me: “What the h***?!”

    Other Customer: “HELLO?! FIND this for me.”

    Me: *hands it back to her* “I don’t work here. Work on your manners, lady.”

    Other Customer: *she just stares at me for a minute* “YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!”

    (I just shake my head and start walking away. She is really getting on my nerves.)

    Other Customer: *following me* “STOP RIGHT THERE! You are NOT allowed to talk to paying customers that way!”

    Me: “I’M a paying customer. I don’t work here! Go away!”

    Other Customer: “I want to talk to your manager! You need to be fired for your attitude.”

    Me: “They can’t fire me if I don’t work here. Stop following me!”

    (At this point, other people are staring, laughing at the lady, and sharing sympathetic looks with me.)

    Other Customer: “Oh, we’ll see about that!”

    (A manager steps in as this lady has made a scene in the store and a lot of people have taken notice.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem here?”

    Other Customer: “This b**** is giving me the worst attitude! I have never been treated so badly in all my life!”

    Me: “And this psycho keeps following me around thinking I work here! I keep telling her I don’t work here!”

    Other Customer: “You won’t be working here if you keep up your b****y attitude!”

    (The manager is clearly very uncomfortable.)

    Manager: “Uh, ma’am, she doesn’t actually work here.”

    Other Customer: “You need to handle this! Fire this b**** immediately!”

    (The manager looks around at the customers and employees who have gathered at a safe distance and are snickering at the scene. He looks at me and shrugs.)

    Manager: *to me* “Uh… You’re fired, ma’am?”

    Me: *dramatically and smiling* “YOU CAN’T FIRE ME BEFORE YOU’VE EVEN HIRED ME!”

    Manager: *smiling* “I’d like to offer you a job as an associate. Awesome pay and benefits?”

    Me: “I’ll TAKE it!”

    Manager: “You’re fired.”

    Me: “NOOOOOOO! How could you?!”

    (The crowd starts laughing.)

    Other Customer: “Are you MOCKING me?!”

    Me: “He’s just giving you what you demanded. Now quit bothering me.”

    (She turned bright red and stormed out of the store without another word.)

    Should Have Been Carted Away

    | Cedar Hill, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (The woman currently being served has a shopping cart PILED with food, clothes and toiletries, but most of it has been rung up and bagged, so I think she is almost done. However, the next man in line, cart about 2/3 full, turns out to be her adult son, and his cart is added to her purchases. No problem, I think; only one payment to process instead of two, this will be even faster. Then the trouble begins.)

    Cashier: “Your total is [nearly $900].”

    Customer: “Okay.” *swipes card*

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am, it’s declined.”

    Customer: “Try it again!”

    Cashier: *does so* “Hmm, declined. Do you have another card?”

    Customer: “No, I know there’s money on that card! You’re not doing it right!”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am, sometimes the machine doesn’t read the strip. Let me type your number in manually… No, I’m sorry, it’s still declined. Do you have another method of payment, like a check?”

    Customer: “Who writes checks anymore? I got this check CARD! That’s what it’s for!”

    Cashier: “How about a credit card? Visa, Mastercard, Amex—”

    Customer: “No, credit cards are a scam. Are you saying I don’t have any money? I HAVE MONEY!” *waving debit card*

    Cashier: “It doesn’t tell me why it’s declined, ma’am, just that it is. There’s an ATM right there, if you’d like to step out of line and verify your balance while I ring up the next person—”

    Customer: “NO! You’re helping ME! Don’t you move!”

    (She has her adult son stand behind her carts so I can’t move up to the scanner belt. The cashier sighs, and shoots me an ‘I’m sorry’ look. The customer goes over to ATM and fiddles around for a few minutes, then gets on her cell phone to the bank but is stymied by the automated prompts. I think this surely can’t go on much longer, as we’re approaching the 15-minute mark for her transaction.)

    Cashier: “Ma’am, if you can’t pay at this time, I need you to move aside and let other customers through. I can suspend your transaction so we won’t have to ring everything up again when you have your payment ready.”

    Customer: “NO. I have money on this card! I always use this card here, and you always give me trouble about it!”

    Cashier: “Do you have another card I can try? Or possibly you could remove some items from your transaction and try again with a lower total—”

    Customer: “NO! I need all this stuff! And I always pay with THIS CARD! I’m not on welfare. I have money! Why won’t you take my card?!”

    (The cashier summons a manager, who tells the woman the same thing; if she doesn’t have a working debit card or other form of payment, she will have to leave her two full carts of bagged items and come back when she can pay.)

    Customer: “…and THAT is why I always carry cash!”

    (She whipped out a huge roll of bills and peeled off the required amount, with plenty left over, then strolled out with her son and their two shopping carts as every employee and customer in earshot stood with jaws on the floor.)

    Page 5/165First...34567...Last