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  • Casting The First Stone Cold Glare
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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Time For Them To Make Like A Tree And Leave

    | Washington, DC, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Home Improvement, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a small landscaping company that does tree replacements for trees removed during construction on sewer lines. These replacements are monitored by the county. My boss (one of the company owners) is replacing a tree at a wealthy man’s house.)

    Boss: *to homeowner* “Hello, sir. We are with [Landscape Company]. We are here to replace your [tree].”

    Homeowner: “About time you guys got here. I’ve been waiting for my replacement tree for months!”

    Boss: “Sorry about the wait, sir. We have your tree ready to plant.” *gestures to the tree*

    Homeowner: “I don’t want that piece of s***! I want a cherry like my neighbor got!”

    Boss: “I’m sorry, sir, this is the species of tree that was removed from your yard according to my planting permit. Your neighbor received a cherry because that’s what was removed from her yard.”

    Homeowner: “I don’t give a s*** what kind of tree was in my yard or hers before! If you plant that tree I will rip it out of the ground myself!

    Boss: “Then you don’t want us to replace the tree?”

    Homeowner: “That’s what I just said, you idiot! You really don’t need to be smart to be a landscaper, do you?”

    Boss: “I’m sorry you feel that way, sir. We will do everything we can to fix the problem. If you could just sign this document saying you rejected a replacement tree we will get everything sorted out for you.”

    (The homeowner signs the paper then goes back in his house. My boss tells me to load the tree back in the truck.)

    Me: “So, do we have to get him that cherry?”

    Boss: “H***, no! He rejected the tree on our contract and confirmed he would rather not have a tree. We aren’t obligated to give him s*** now! If he had been a bit nicer I would have pulled some strings and gotten him that cherry but forget that!”

    (My boss called our contact at the county office and explained that the homeowner had declined the replacement tree and signed the rejection papers. Apparently a month later the homeowner called to ask where his tree was and received the news that he rejected his replacement and would no longer be getting a new tree.)

    Hard Of Earring

    | Basingstoke, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

    (I work in a high-end high street women’s clothing store. We also sell accessories. Like most UK stores, we do not accept returns on earrings for any reasons, bar them being defective. We’ve just entered the mid-season sale period, where a lot of our jewellery is now 70% off. A fair amount of customers are returning and rebuying items to get the discounted price.)

    Customer: “I want to return this set of earrings and rebuy them.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. Store policy says we’re not allowed to accept returns on any earrings, unless they’re defective. Even though you’re wanting to rebuy them, I cannot process the return.”

    Customer: “I WANT TO RETURN THEM!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I’m not allowed to do that.”

    Customer: “Yes, you are! You’re just saying that because you don’t want to give me the sale price!”

    Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way, and I assure you we do allow returning and rebuying. We just can’t accept returns on earrings unless they defective in some way.”

    Customer: “I want to talk to someone else!”

    (I get my assistant manager, who comes over and relays what I’ve just told the customer.)

    Assistant Manager: “I’m sorry, we can’t accept the return on them unless they’re defective.”

    (The customer drops the earrings on the floor, then stomps on them. She picks them up and puts them on the counter.)

    Customer: “I want to return these. They’re defective.”

    Assistant Manager: “We don’t accept returns on items that have been damaged purposely by customers.”

    Customer: “You have no proof I broke them. It’s your words against mine, and the customer is ALWAYS right!”

    Assistant Manager: “This may be true in most circumstances. Here, we have CCTV showing you damaged them yourself. I’m sorry. We cannot accept returns on them. Is there anything else you’d like me to help with today?”

    Customer: “MY EARRINGS ARE BROKEN! What am I gonna do with broken earrings?!”

    Me: “Would you like me to dispose of them?”

    (The customer glared at my assistant manager and me, then stormed out.)

    Finally Closes The Sale

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (It is now 15 minutes past closing time. Several staff members have been helping a lady with a complicated question while her young son wanders around and plays with the merchandise.)

    Me: “We need to get the store closed and all the lights turned off, so let me get you rung up at this register over here.”

    (She wanders over to a display her son is looking at.)

    Mother: “You can choose between these two items and I’ll buy it for you.”

    Son: “I want this!” *chooses much more expensive item*

    Mother: “No, I’m not buying you that. Choose between these two.”

    (The argument goes on for a few minutes. Finally:)

    Mother: “All right, I’m choosing for you. This one.”

    (She brings the item to me, and I ring it up with her other purchases.)

    Me: “That’ll be [total].”

    (She opens her wallet and slowly starts counting out exact change. I wince internally and say nothing; it’s now 25 minutes past closing. I take her money and hand her a receipt.)

    Me: “Thank you so much! I’ll walk you out, since I need to lock the door behind you.”

    Customer: “Okay, thanks.” *cellphone rings, she answers* “Oh, hi! Yeah, just finishing up.”

    (She continues to stand there and talk on her cell, very slowly putting her wallet away and showing no sign of hurrying. Eventually, with me standing there holding the door open, she makes her way to the exit, still talking on the phone. I lock the door behind her and go back into the main room, where my coworkers (who have been wrangling other reluctant-to-leave customers) are standing there looking exhausted.)

    Me: “Who’s buying the first round?”

    No Real Cause For Concern

    | USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (I work at a very busy furniture store that is often out of stock of popular items and is constantly changing stock. A customer demands an item that has been discontinued and is no longer displayed as current merchandise. A manager and I find out there is an order of one left coming in but the date is unknown and a week later explains to the customer that the date is set to arrive a month from now.)

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but the merchandise you ordered isn’t expected to come in until the 31st, so—”

    Customer: “What do you mean the 31st!? This is not acceptable.”

    Me: “Ma’am, we have no control over the expected date. We no longer carry it on our floor and a final order has been fulfilled for you at the expected date but we will—”

    Customer: “No, that is not acceptable. No one told me it was no longer available. You need to make this right for me.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, before you started talking I was trying to tell you we would refund your money for delivery since you are having to wait such a long period of time.”

    Customer: “Well, you should apologize for that.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I did apologize right before the first time you interrupted me.”

    Customer: “You should do something to make me happy.”

    Me: “Ma’am, after I apologized I offered you our delivery service for free which would normally cost you $120.”

    Customer: “Fine. You should sound more concerned. Your voice didn’t sound sincere enough for me.”

    Fire Sale Fail

    , | Stettler, AB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (We have a small electrical fire at our fast food restaurant. My fellow coworkers and I have just checked the building to make sure all the customers are out. Most of my coworkers have inhaled smoke and are being checked out by EMT’s. I’m standing near the doors to keep customers out.)

    Customer: “I ordered $40 worth of food. Why are you standing outside?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, Ma’am, we’ve had a small electrical fire…”

    (The building is clearly filled with smoke, visible through the windows that surround the restaurant.)

    Customer: “Well, is my chicken ready? Someone can just go get it. I’ve already paid.”

    Me: “You want someone to go into a burning building in order to get your chicken?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    (Before I could respond my supervisor comes back from being checked out.)

    Supervisor: “Ma’am, even if someone did get your chicken, it wouldn’t be safe to eat. It was in the warming tray right below where the smoke came pouring out of the roof.”

    Customer: “THIS IS F****** RIDICULOUS! I’M A PAYING CUSTOMER AND I WANT MY CHICKEN!”

    (I walk away and leave my supervisor to deal with the customer. Shortly after I see the supervisor run back in the building and come out with the customers refund. The customer rips the money out of her hand and storms off, nearly hitting an employee in the parking lot with her car.)

    Supervisor: “I just refunded her $60 and told her she could have fresh chicken in the morning.”

    Me: “Just so you know, she ripped you off. Her order only came to $42.50.”

    Supervisor: “S***.”

    (Thankfully, the damage was mostly in the electrical work and the restaurant was opened the next morning.)


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