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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Giving Closing Time The Boot

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month, Time

    (We close at 8 pm but we have a straggler in the store who was trying on pants at 8:30 pm. Our sign was off and my manager and I were dressed down ready to go home. The phone rings.)

    Me: “Good Evening, [Store Name]. [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “What time do you close?”

    Me: “8 pm.”

    Caller: “Oh, but its 8:30 and you’re still there?

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Caller: “So… can I come buy boots?”

    Me: *face in palm* “No, sir. We close at 8 pm. You will have to come by tomorrow.”

    Caller: “But you are still there. Are you doing your own work?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Caller: “Okay. So can I come in?”

    Me: “Have a good night, sir…”

    Stick To Your Guns And Don’t Make The Sale

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

    (About 15 years ago I worked in a very popular super retail store that had a sporting goods section that had just stopped selling guns and only sold pellet rifles and paintball guns.)

    Customer: “Hello, I’d like to buy a gun.”

    Me: “Well, we don’t have any guns anymore. We do have pellet rifles. What did you want it for?”

    Customer: “Oh, um, there’s a coyote that has been getting into my yard and I wanted to get rid of it.”

    Me: “Hmm… Well, a pellet rifle might scare it off so it won’t come back?”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, it’s really for my neighbor’s dog.”

    Me: “I see… Well, I don’t think I can help with that.”

    Customer: “Actually, it’s for my neighbor.”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: “He’s a jerk.”

    Completely Taking The Mickey

    | Madrid, Spain | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Money

    (A customer approaches me in the counter while I finish ringing up another. I’m sure she has come to the bakery a couple of times, but she’s not exactly a regular.)

    Customer: “So nice to see you!”

    Me: “Sure, it has been a while since I last saw you.”

    Customer: “That’s because I was on a trip, to [Theme Park]”

    Me: *smiling politely* “That sounds good.”

    Customer: *looking in her purse* “I actually bought you something.”

    (She takes a Theme Park Character figurine, putting it in the counter. I stare, confused.)

    Me: “Uh, thanks, I guess… So, have you found anything you like around? We just made these new cupcakes.”

    Customer: “Of course I saw them.”

    (Puts three boxes on the counter, and I proceed to ring them up.)

    Me: “Your total is €9.”

    Customer: “Oh, no, just with the [Theme Park Character] is fine.”

    (I stare confused.)

    Customer: “Yes, you see, this thing was €10, so I give you this in exchange. An exchange. That’s fine, right?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m truly grateful you thought of us, but we do not accept exchange here.

    You can either pay with cash or credit card…”

    (She shakes her head, and grabs the figure to slam it in the counter. The thing doesn’t seem €10 in the slightest, since it’s about three inches tall.)

    Customer: “No! I already told you this covers all the total! And even, you owe me €1!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t accept this. You can keep this [Theme Park Character] and pay with cash or credit card, as I said.”

    Customer: “No way!”

    (She grabs the cupcake boxes and starts to leave. My yells to call her back are heard by my coworkers, who help me and stop her from leaving. The woman had to be practically dragged away. The Theme Park Character remained on the counter for several hours, until a family comes up to the counter and the figure catches the attention of the son.)

    Kid: “I’ve got one like this! It came with my meal at [Famous Burger Chain]!”

    The Movie Tale Is In The (Lack Of) Telling

    | Israel | Crazy Requests, Technology

    (I am a temp for a large mobile services provider, in a call center dedicated to the provider’s loyalty program. Every summer they would give out free books, movie tickets, etc. on particular dates for all paying customers. The caller in this call was around 40 years old.)

    Me: “Hello, you’ve reached [Provider]‘s loyalty program. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you today?”

    Caller: “I want the free movie.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, Madam, but the free movie offer ended last week. We have a free book offer this week—”

    Caller: “No, I don’t want any books. I just want the free movie you promised.”

    Me: “Again, Madam, I’m sorry, but that offer is now over.”

    Caller: “But I didn’t know about it on time!”

    Me: “Well, Madam, that’s unfortunate, but you’re welcome to take advantage of the offers we still have—”

    Caller: “No. You will give me a free movie! Make an exception! Talk to your manager!”

    Me: “Madam, we cannot make an exception. The company signed a contract with [Cinema Chain] for a specific period. Now that the period is done, there’s nothing we can do about it.”

    Caller: “But you should have told me! No one told me so it’s your fault and I want the free movie!”

    Me: “Madam, we had ads on billboards in several major streets in your city—”

    Caller: “I don’t go out much.”

    Me: “We also had ads in every major newspaper—”

    Caller: “I don’t read any newspapers.”

    Me: “And several major radio stations—”

    Caller: “I don’t listen to the radio.”

    Me: “And there was a colourful ad in your monthly bill—”

    Caller: “I always disregard those.”

    Me: “And a whole ton of ads on our website and major news websites—”

    Caller: “I don’t use the Internet.”

    Me: “And every single client of [Provider] got a text message about it.”

    Caller: “Oh, those I never read.”

    Me: “Then how, Madam, did you expect us to inform you of this offer, if you disregard every single publicity method we use?”

    Caller: *reproachfully* “Well, I’d expect you to call me!”

    Smoking Before She Even Gets Cigarettes

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Wild & Unruly

    (I am cashiering without a bagger at the farthest register from the front service center.)

    Me: “How are you doing today, ma’am?”

    Customer: “You need to go get me a pack of d*** cigarettes.” *continues texting*

    Me: “I’m not allowed to leave my register and don’t have a bagger to run and get some. How about you go grab them while I finish ringing up/bagging the rest of your items?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “I said, please go grab them while I finish your order. I can’t leave now.”

    Customer: “Did you seriously just say I… should go get them MYSELF?!”

    Me: “Yes, I did…”

    Customer: “OH, MY GOD! You can’t be serious! If you think I should go get them, then you are crazy!”

    (She then grabs a bagger who is obviously helping out another customer.)

    Customer: “You need to go get me my cigarettes now before I FLIP OUT!”

    Bagger: “…okay.”

    Customer: “And I am telling your manager about how rude you are!”

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