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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Shocked You Say No To Firing On His Say So

    | AB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Transportation

    (I am a safety person for a local road building company. A part of my job is to take complaint calls from the public and to sort out incidents. It should be noted that we have a fleet of roughly 200 pickup trucks for foremen and crews. The only thing these trucks all have in common is they are white and have the company logo on each side of the vehicle. They can each be identified by the plate number and the unit number marked on the side.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

    (There is some unintelligible ranting on the other end, like the caller is talking to someone else.)

    Me: “Hello? This is [My Name] in Safety here. Can I help you?”

    Irate Caller: “Yeah! One of your f****** guys is driving like a f****** idiot! What kind of f****** morons do you losers hire?! You need to fire this f***** NOW!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry you are experiencing problems with one of our crew members. If you can relay me some information so that I may identify the unit and the driver, I can investigate into this matter and have it dealt with. What exactly was he doing?”

    Irate Caller: “It’s a f****** white truck on [Street]. He pulled up onto the f****** curb and parked on the f****** grass!”

    (Being in road construction, this is actually quite common for when workers need to do surveying, take measurements, etc. on sites we have or will be working on, if there is no other safe place to stop or park in the area.)

    Me: “Well, sir. That is actually a common practice.”

    Irate Caller: “He cut me off! And flipped me off! And he’s tearing up the grass!”

    Me: “All right, I’m sorry, sir. But I will need a bit more information than that it was a white truck, then. Do you have the plate number, or were you able to see the unit number? It would be visible on either side of the truck.”

    Irate Caller: “You f****** losers don’t even know where your f****** guys are?! What the f*** is wrong with you?!”

    Me: “Once again, sir, I am very sorry, but we currently have about 10 job sites open all over the city and about 200 white company vehicles in operation at this time. To identify the specific driver you are having problems with, I need more information.”

    Irate Caller: “If I give you more info will you fire his a**?!”

    Me: “I’m afraid disciplinary action is not within my responsibilities. I would be able to identify who is currently assigned this vehicle, track his trucks GPS to see how erratically he is driving and if he is supposed to be at the location you’ve identified, from there I can inform his supervisor and they will then determine what action should be taken. Whether it be a need for training, a suspension, or possibly termination.”

    Irate Caller: “What the f***?! Just fire his a**!”

    Me: “Again, sir. I’m afraid it doesn’t work quite that way. And even so, you have not provided me with any information to identify the driver.”

    Irate Caller: “F*** you!! You’re all f****** losers! You’ll be out of business in a month!”

    Me: “Well actually… Our season is slowing down for the year, and we will likely be closing operations within a month or two, weather depending… However, we are prepared to gear up for next season in full force! Lots of work to be done!”

    Irate Caller: “F*** you!” *hangs up*

    Misunderstanding Free Trade

    | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Customer: “I want a cup of 2% milk with four pumps of chocolate in it.”

    Me: “What size would you like?”

    Customer: “The size that’s free.”

    Me: *thinking I misheard, or maybe she’s joking* “I’m sorry, what?”

    Customer: “Whatever size is free! I want that size!”

    Me: “Um, we don’t have a ‘free cup of chocolate milk’ in any size.”

    Customer: “Don’t lie to me! I know that’s why you have the milk out on the condiment bar! But I want 2%, not creamer!”

    Me: “That’s for customers to put in their coffee. It’s not so you can make free cups of chocolate milk.”

    (It took me almost 10 minutes to convince her I wasn’t going to make her a free cup of chocolate milk.)

    A Ballooning Crazy Request

    | Knoxville, TN, USA | Crazy Requests

    (I am working the registers and taking phone calls, when I got the following:)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, I was wondering what the most durable balloons you have are.”

    Me: “Um… I’m not sure what you mean. Do you mean longest lasting?”

    Caller: “No, I mean which balloons are the most durable. You know, so they won’t pop easily.”

    Me: “Could I ask you what you’re using them for? Maybe I could give you a better recommendation.”

    Caller: “Well, my kids got some BB guns for their birthdays, and I need some balloons that won’t pop if they get hit accidentally.”

    Me: “So you’re looking for a balloon that can stand up to being shot with a BB gun.”

    Caller: “Exactly! Yes!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we don’t carry any bulletproof balloons…”

    Won’t Take A Back-Seat In These Proceedings

    | RI, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (My younger sister and I are attending a concert given by a popular holiday rock band in a local city. Five minutes into the concert a woman and man come up to my sister and me.)

    Woman: “You’re in our seats.”

    Me: “How can that be possible? I had an usher show us to our seats.”

    Woman: “I don’t care. You’re in our seats!” *she turns to the man she’s with* “Go get an usher so they can show these children to their proper seats!”

    (A few moments later the man returns with an usher.)

    Usher: “What seems to be the problem here?”

    Woman: “These little girls are in our seats! I want you to escort them to their proper seats! I can’t believe you let unsupervised children into a concert!”

    (Before the usher could say anything I interject.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I am a student at a local college and therefore I am not a child. I am 23 years old and more than old enough to act as a legal guardian for my younger sister. I had an usher show my sister to our seats; therefore I do not believe that I am in your seat. I will, however, cooperate with the usher on this matter so we resolve it quickly and enjoy the rest of the show.”

    (I hand my ticket to the usher and the woman reluctantly does the same.)

    Usher: “Ma’am, these young women are in their proper seats. Your seats are on the other side of the entry way.” *she turns to my sister and me* “I apologize for the confusion and the trouble. Please enjoy the show!”

    (When the couple and the usher walked away, the people around me gave me a small round of applause and a ‘you go girl!’)

    Failed With Flying Colors

    | Wollongong, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (Our jewellery cabinet is sorted into a colour display with each shelf being solely dedicated to one colour. A customer beckons me over.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, I’d like to look at the turquoise jewellery please.”

    Me: “Of course, which ones would you like to see?”

    Customer: *pointing at the turquoise shelf* “The turquoise ones.”

    Me: “Which ones in particular?”

    Customer: *pointing again* “The turquoise jewellery.”

    Me: “Ma’am, all of the jewellery on that shelf is turquoise. I’m finding it hard to see which one in particular you’re looking at. Would you be able to describe it for me?”

    Customer: “Oh, of course they are!”

    (She bends towards the shelf, squints at it, and jabs the glass with her finger.)

    Customer: “The turquoise one!”

    Me: “…”

    (Ten minutes later we figured it out.)

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