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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Not Acting Their Sunday Best

    | IN, USA | At The Checkout, Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Religion

    (I work in a shop that exclusively sells Christian books, music, and church supplies. The store is, strangely, open on Sundays.)

    Me: “All set? Did you find everything you needed today?”

    Customer: “I did. Thank you.”

    (She places a large stack of items on the counter. I’m halfway through ringing them up when she speaks up.)

    Customer: “I can’t believe you’re open on Sundays.”

    Me: “The owner believes it’s convenient for customers who can’t make it during the week, so it’s no hassle.”

    Customer: “You shouldn’t be open! This is the Lord’s day!”

    Me: “We do have reduced hours on Sundays so the employees can attend church. I came straight to work from a service at [local church] this morning.”

    Customer: “No! You should be closed today in honor of the Lord’s day!”

    Me: “Ma’am, if we were closed today, how would you get these things you’re buying right now?”

    (The customer blinks in surprise and stares at her purchases. Then she scowls and thrusts a credit card at me.)

    Customer: “It doesn’t matter! You should be closed on Sundays! Now do your job and ring me up!”

    Understaffed But Not Understood

    | Greensboro, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

    (On the day before Father’s Day, with a huge sale going on, the coworker who is supposed to come in to work with me doesn’t show up. I am swamped and can’t answer any phone calls. I just stay at the counter ringing people up. We are so busy that I don’t have time to call any of my coworkers to see if they can come in to cover the shift. There is only about half an hour until two other coworkers are coming in, so I just do my best until then. With a line about ten customers long, a customer comes storming up to the register and interrupts the conversation I’m having with the customer currently at my register.)

    Customer: “I need some help! Where is the employee who should be working the sales floor right now?”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but no one else is here right now. If you’ll kindly wait in line, I’d be glad to help you shortly.”

    Customer: “What?! This is outrageous! You should have more than one person working! Everyone knows that is just good business!”

    Me: “Unfortunately, there was a scheduling mix-up. I’m the only one here right now.”

    Customer: “But I need one of you to help me find something! What am I supposed to do? That’s what you all get paid to do! I am very busy and I need to get my Father’s Day gifts bought! I don’t have all day! Really, on a holiday, you should have more than one person working!”

    (Since the customer isn’t listening to me, I just turn back to serving the line at the counter. I finish the next customer, and try to explain the schedule issue again, but she’s not having any of it. One of our regular customers is standing nearby at a sale table and finally speaks up.)

    Regular Customer: “Ma’am, what is wrong with your hearing? She just explained to you that her coworker didn’t show up! I think she’s doing a remarkable job handling all of this by herself. You are just making things worse!”

    Customer: “All I need is to see if they have these items in stock! Can’t she see I am in a hurry?”

    Regular Customer: “As are most of us. It’s a busy holiday at a popular store. What do you expect? When people don’t show up to do their jobs it makes it harder on the rest of their coworkers, especially when there’s only one other person working!”

    Customer: “But—”

    Regular Customer: “Now, I don’t work here, but I shop here often. In favor of giving everyone in line and this poor employee a break, I’m going to help you find what you need. But only so you leave us all alone!”

    (I thank the regular and the two disappear into the back of the store. The customers in line make some comments. A moment later, the original customer storms to the front and out the door. I turn to the regular customer as she returns.)

    Me: “What happened?”

    Regular Customer: “You didn’t have the item she wanted. Her sale flyer was for the bookstore down the street.”

    Christmas Is Their Cross To Bear

    | IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Religion, Theme Of The Month

    (It is a few days before Christmas. I am finishing up with a patron. At this point, she has been nice and cheerful.)

    Me: “Okay. We will give you a call when the book comes in. Thank you and have a good night!”

    Patron: “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

    Me: “Um, no. I handed you back your card, didn’t I?”

    Patron: “No. You didn’t address me correctly. Try again.”

    Me: “…Have a good night, miss?”

    Patron: “It is the time of Christ and you did not bless me with a Merry Christmas. What kind of Christian establishment hires such heathens that do not bless their customers with the correct Christian way?”

    Me: “Well, honestly, ma’am, this isn’t a Christian establishment. It’s a public library. I apologize for not wishing you a Merry Christmas.”

    Patron: “Every single place on this Earth is a Christian establishment and until you realize this you are headed straight to Hell. Next time I come in, I expect you to bless me and have a proper Christian attitude. I will take this up with your boss if your behavior continues to trend this way.”

    (She stares me down for a few minutes and then leaves. I later find out she did complain to my director and insisted she follow the laws of God by only employing good Christian people!)

    Going Bananas About Pajamas

    | AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s December 23rd. I have never worked a Christmas at my current job.)

    Me: “Hello. Are you finding everything alright?”

    Customer: “Um, no. I can’t find your pajamas.”

    (I’m really confused by this. We are a hardware store, and so do not and have never sold pajamas.)

    Me: “Sorry. Did you say pajamas?”

    Customer: “Obviously. What are you, deaf!? They are clothes that you you wear to bed. Do you understand now?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t sell pajamas.”

    Customer: “Well the very nice young lady across the street said you would have the pj’s I’m looking for. I came in last week and I couldn’t find them. So I went to the [Big Clothing Store] across the street. She definitely said you were getting a shipment of purple and pink flowered pj’s today.”

    Me: “Again, as I said, we don’t sell sleepwear. If you would like I can tell you another store which might have what you are looking for, or bring my manager to confirm we don’t have any pajamas.”

    (The customer is very visibly upset by this, and starts yelling and cursing at me.)

    Customer: “What kind of store doesn’t sell pj’s at the holidays! I am holding you personally responsible, you b****! Why dont you get your manager and tell him that!?”

    (As the customer says this she knocks over a whole shelf of Christmas ornaments and other decorations.)

    Customer: “I hope you have an awful Christmas!”

    (The customer starts hurling more insults and horrible names as she walks out. A coworker has observed all of the proceedings.)

    Coworker: “–and a happy new year!”

    Customer: “F*** you too!”

    Christmas Jeer

    | Naples, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at an office supply store that also does computer repairs. We are open late for Christmas. I’m the certified technician. The cashier is taking a break, so I volunteer to take over her register. A customer has walked up to the customer service desk. This desk has no register, but there is a register about five feet to the right.)

    Customer: “Hey! I was looking for this pocket calendar, but for this year. This other brand has more space, but I can’t find this one.”

    Me: “Sure. Let’s go take a look so you can pick the one you want!”

    Customer: “I already checked all of them. You don’t have it! I’m NOT walking back there! That’s what I came up here for! Now GO!”

    Me: “Okay…”

    (I walk back, stunned, and check for the product. We are out of stock. I come back to tell the customer. My coworker has come back, and tries to check another customer out, but register #1 has crashed. She has already taken the customer to register #2 and is checking them out.)

    Me: “Unfortunately, ma’am, we are out of stock. We can order the one you want online, however.”

    Customer: “No! I’ll just take this one. It’s already in my purse.”

    Me: “Okay. I’ll take you over at register #2, as register #1 has crashed.”

    (My coworker has finished checking out the customer, and is standing behind me watching this occur. The customer is standing, staring at the wall, obviously ignoring me.)

    Me: “Umm, ma’am? I said I can help you at register #2.”

    Customer: “You said you’d help me RIGHT HERE!”

    Me: “Sorry, I didn’t. Register #1 has crashed, and that’s the customer service desk. I couldn’t ring you up there if I tried.”

    Customer: “But that is not open. THIS ONE IS! HELP ME HERE!”

    (The light for register #1 is on still, and #2 is off. No one pays attention to the lights so no one turns them on for the occasional customer that is brought to them.)

    Customer: “This one’s light isn’t on. You can’t help me here.”

    (I turn the light on to humor her and start ringing.)

    Customer: “You all are so rude and unhelpful! I can’t believe you would treat me like this!”

    Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way about us.”

    Customer: “YOU ARE NOT SORRY! YOU ARE BEING INTENTIONALLY RUDE! YOU HAVE TERRIBLE CUSTOMER SERVICE!”

    (At this point I can’t tell whether to be angry or laugh at the absurdity. I am leading the numbers for customer service, and I’m always going out of my way for the customers.)

    Me: “Okay. Your total is [total]. You can swipe whenever you are ready. ”

    Customer: “I GAVE you the card. Figure it out yourself!”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I swipe the card, and turn the PIN-pad towards her.)

    Me: “Please sign here.”

    (The customer proceeds to scribble on the screen in long sweeping motions, before finally pounding on the screen with the stylus. It does not respond to hard tapping, only light tapping. I’m afraid the screen will break at this rate, so I put my hand out near the screen.)

    Me: “Please do not break our screen.” *I tap the button*

    Customer: “DON’T F****** TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT! DON’T OPEN YOUR MOUTH TO ME AGAIN!”

    (The customer throws the stylus at me.)

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.” *hands receipt* “Have a great evening, and happy holidays!”

    Customer: “Screw you! You people are so F****** RUDE!”

    Me: “Alright!”

    (The door closes.)

    Me: *to coworker* “I really don’t know whether to be mad or laugh… I’m so conflicted!”


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