November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Armed And Dangerous

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests

(I don’t normally work at our store’s other location, but because of the holidays we are short-staffed all-around and I need to fill in. The one coworker working with me today is on break, and I am taking orders, making food, and making espresso drinks as fast as I can.)

Customer #1: “Excuse me! We’ve been waiting forEVER for our drinks!”

Me: *looking up from the line of five sandwiches I am currently making* “I’m so sorry, ma’am. I know it’s taking a bit long but I promise it’ll be up soon.”

Customer #1: “God! I hate coming here. You kids are so incompetent!”

(Customer #2, a regular at both of our stores, steps forward.)

Customer #2: “Excuse me, how many of you are there back there?”

Me: *thinking I’m gonna hear it from him, too* “Just me for right now.”

Customer #2: “And how many arms do you have?”

Me: “…Just the two?”

Customer #2: *looking at [Customer #1]* “Ah, well that explains it.”

(Customer #1 gets a mean look on her face and marches back to her table.)

Me: *whispering* “You’re so cool…”

(Customer #2 definitely got his usual latte on me that day!)

Remained Unchanged Throughout

, | TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(While volunteering at the local Habitat for Humanity ReStore, I notice a middle-aged man walk up to the cashier and hand him a $20 bill. He is buying a $2 tire gauge, normally priced at twice that amount. I overhear the exchange.)

Cashier: “Excuse me, sir, do you have anything smaller?” *gestures at nearly empty money jar* “Our cash register isn’t working and I don’t think we have enough change in here to cash a 20.”

Customer: “But it’s legal tender.”

Cashier: “Yes, but we don’t have sufficient change.”

Customer: “It’s enough, isn’t it?”

(This goes on for about five minutes, with the cashier clearly attempting to keep his cool. Finally, he gives up.)

Cashier: “Here.”

(He reaches into his own wallet and pulls out $20 in fives and ones, takes $2 and gives the remaining $18 to the customer. The customer counts the money in his hands, then attempts to take the $2 sitting on the table.)

Cashier: “Hey, what are you doing?”

Customer: “You only gave me $18. I gave you a 20.”

Cashier: “Yes, but you want to buy this gauge, don’t you? It cost $2, so I took that out.”

Customer: “How do I know you didn’t short change me?”

(At this point, the cashier is about ready to explode. He grabs the cash and clearly counts the amount out. It amounts exactly to $20.)

Cashier: “There, you did get exact change. Now I will need $2 for the item.”

Customer: “I want a discount for the trouble you put me through.”

Cashier: *exasperated* “The item normally cost $4. You are getting it at half off. Now, is there anything else I can do for you?”

Customer: “No, that’s all. I ought to complain for the amount of time this took. Now I’m late.”

(He grabbed the tire gauge and left. I saw him, about two hours later, still wandering about the store.)

If They Had An Ounce Of Sense

| Bangor, Wales, UK | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Technology

(In the run up to Christmas, one of the popular items has been a small radio controlled quad-copter, and I have been enjoying myself flying these up and down the mall to demonstrate. A young man comes in and enquires about these:)

Customer: “So could it carry any weight, say, an eighth of an ounce?”

Me: *trying not to laugh, as the specific weight mentioned is a dead give away* “Well, no, not really.”

Customer: “Okay, but would it be able to carry any weight over a wall and come back?”

Me: “Nope.”

Customer: “So it wouldn’t, perhaps, be able to carry a sixteenth over a prison wall?”

Me: “Er, no…”

Customer: *leaving* “Okay, thanks anyway. If the police come in, don’t tell them I was asking, okay?”

Not Even Time To Air One’s Grievances

| TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

(It is almost 6:30 am and I get out of my car to walk to the fuel center to open for the day. When I’m halfway there I bid good morning to a lady at a pump.)

Customer: “…Do you work here?”

Me: *looks down at uniform* “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: *flicks receipt* “I got gas. Does the air machine work?”

(Our customers get complimentary air with a same visit gas purchase.)

Me: “As far as I know, yes. I can turn it on for you as soon as I get inside. Go ahead and pull up to the machine.”

(I take not six steps; the kiosk is still a few yards away.)

Customer: “Is it on yet?”

Will Have To Take His Query With A Pinch Of Saltwater

| Tulsa, OK, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(I am a manager at a pet store. I notice customer looking at the fish so I greet him.)

Me: “Hello, can I help you find anything today?”

Customer: “I have a fish tank I set up last week and I’m ready to put a ‘Nemo fish’ in it.” *I assume he means a clown fish*

Me: “Salt water is always fun. We have a few different species of clown fish as well as other species of fish that can go with them.”

Customer: “I already picked the others I want.” *walks me over to the platys*

Me: “You said you have a saltwater set, right?”

Customer: “That’s right.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but platys are fresh water and unable to live in salt water.”

Customer: “So they can’t live together?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but no.”

Customer: “Well, what do I need so they can live together?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir… they can’t. One is freshwater and the other is saltwater.”

Customer: “But what do I need so I can mix them?”

Me: “Sir, as I said, they can’t be mixed. It’s biologically impossible to mix them. They need opposite types of water to live, salt or fresh.”

Customer: “Listen to me, god d*** it! Just tell me what I need to put them in the same tank!”

Me: “The only way to keep them in the same tank is if you have a tank divider and make one side freshwater and the other side salt water.”

Customer: “Well I might as well have two tanks then, but I’m not buying another f****** tank. NOW! WHAT DO I NEED TO HAVE BOTH OF THOSE FISH IN THE SAME DAMN TANK!”

(At this point I’m not sure how I can more accurately explain why this wont work the way he wants. He starts cursing at me to fix his problem and becomes very irate.)

Me: “Well, sir, you’re going to have to engineer a new fish that can live in both, and if you manage that I’m sure will win some kind of prize.”

(The tank ended up being a one-gallon desktop tank, although this was not as bad as a customer that got mad because I would not sell them a bearded dragon, a turtle, and a scorpion to all live in the same 10-gallon tank. That one wanted the animals to be friends and said I was stupid when I told her they would kill each other.)