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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Overly Expressing Herself

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I am the cashier for the express lane of the store. The express lane has a clearly posted sign that says twelve items or fewer. Unfortunately, a lot of customers come through with as many as twenty items. I still check them out, but I ask them to take larger orders to the regular checkout lanes in the future. In this case, a woman brings about 20 items through my lane.)

    Me: “Ma’am, in the future, if you have more than 12 items, please go to one of the regular lanes.”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “No?”

    Customer: “Express is faster.”

    (I just stare at her as she pays for her groceries and leaves.)

    Next Customer: “No shame.”

    Me: “Yeah…”

    Abuse With The Shoes

    | England, UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I work on the children’s department of a shoe store. We ask customers to take a ticket when they come in so everyone can be seen to in the order they arrived. There are three other staff members available to come serve customers if it gets busy.)

    Manager: “Can you go check everyone’s ticket numbers and make sure the ticket counter is up to date?”

    (There are four sets of customers on the floor. I explain to each that I am checking the numbers to see which order they are to be served in. They all politely show me their number and wait their turn. I’m asking the third customer when the fourth approaches me.)

    Me: “I’m just checking the ticket numbers. May I see yours?”

    Customer #3: “Of course. Here you—”

    Customer #4: “I want this shoe in a five.”

    (She proceeds to shove a children’s boot into my hand and stare at me. I don’t see a ticket in her hand or a child with her and assume she just wants to take a pair without fitting.)

    Me: “Okay, I’ll call one of my colleagues from the back to get you these as I’m currently sorting out the customers with tickets.”

    (She looks angrily at me, grabs the boot, slams it back down on the shelf where she found it and proceeds to storm past me towards the door.)

    Customer #4: “This is horrid customer service! You should be ashamed! You’ve lost a customer and you’ve lost a sale!!”

    (I stand there speechless and confused then look towards the third customer again.)

    Customer #3: “I don’t know what just happened either.”

    Big Brother Is A Big Bother

    | FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Politics, Technology

    (Our company sells high-tech gadgets for use with RC planes and helicopters, such as GPS locators and infrared sensors.)

    Customer: “Hello. I’m trying to order your GPS unit, but I don’t want to put my credit card number online.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t have a way to take a credit card order over the phone. The only thing I could do is bring up the website and enter it there myself.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m not putting my credit card number out on the Internet!”

    Me: “Sir, I can assure you that entering your credit card information on our encrypted website is much more secure than reading it off to me over the telephone. But we also take PayPal, if you don’t want to involve your credit card at all.”

    Customer: *grumbling* “Okay.” *hangs up*

    Coworker: *overhearing the conversation* “Did someone have a security issue with the website?”

    Me: “No, he just wants military satellites to be able to track his model airplane’s precise location… but he’s afraid of e-commerce.”

    Some Customers Will Even Pull Your Hair Out For You

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I am trying to fix the printer on a self-check out machine. I am a girl with long hair pulled back in tight braids and a bun. A loop of hair has snagged on a lag screw on the raised portion of the screen.)

    Me: *calling coworker on the phone* “Hey, I got myself stuck in the self-check. Can you come help me?”

    Coworker: “Sure.”

    (A customer pulls up to her station with a large order. I can’t see her and she can’t see me, so I wait patiently, bent completely over.)

    Customer: *walks up to me* “Can you check these out for me?”

    (The customer hands me a bunch of bolts.)

    Me: “I would be happy to, sir, just as soon as I get unstuck from this machine.”

    Customer: “Have you called anyone to help you yet?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. She should be here in a moment.”

    (There is a very long awkward pause, while the customer just stands there looking at me.)

    Customer: “Well….she’s not here yet. I guess I could help ya out.”

    Me: “I would appreciate that. Thanks!”

    (The customer proceeds to yank violently on my hair. A few strands come completely out of my head. Finally, the loop of hair comes off the lag screw.)

    Customer: “There. Will you ring me out now?”

    Making A Bad Impression

    , | Japan | Crazy Requests, Military, Politics

    (I am the operations manager of an overseas military TV and radio station. In place of regular commercials, we run locally-made information spots. We get feedback through an email system, mostly complaints about stuff out of our control, such as TV shows and music selections. A few months ago, we got an email from an irate listener complaining about a radio spot advertising the base library, where one of the producers did an imitation of former President George W. Bush. He was livid about the disrespect to our former Commander-In-Chief. I responded professionally, explaining we often use humor in our spots to make the information memorable, and the impression was fairly innocuous. He kept emailing back more irate, insulting military broadcasters, questioning our patriotism, accusing us of communism, etc. Finally, he came to our station to personally confront me. The following exchange occurred in our lobby.)

    Irate Marine: “Your excuses are just that! The ‘humor’ of that imitation is offensive and disrespectful! How dare you demean the former president!”

    Me: “Well, he didn’t seem to think so.”

    Irate Marine: “… What?”

    Me: *points to framed picture on the wall* “See that?”

    (It’s George W. Bush in our production room laughing with a young Marine.)

    Irate Marine: “He came here?”

    Me: “Years ago, I’m told. See that Marine in the photo? He’s the one who voiced and produced that spot. That photo was taken while he was playing the commercial for The President. He apparently has a better sense of humor about himself than you do.”

    Irate Marine: *walks out the door, mumbling* “Well, it’s STILL disrespectful!”

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