October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Annual And Null

| USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays

(It is the Monday after Thanksgiving. A patient calls the office absolutely irate.)

Patient: “I just wanted to tell you I was here last Thursday for my appointment and no one was at the office! What are you going to do about this?!”

Me: “Ma’am, last Thursday was Thanksgiving.”

Patient: “I know that! I gave up time with my family to drive all the way over there to my appointment and you couldn’t even bother to come in! How unprofessional can you be?”

Me: “Ma’am, we’ve NEVER been open on Thanksgiving. Our schedule isn’t even set up to accept appointments on that day.”

Patient: *smugly* “Then how come I have an appointment card for [date]? Hmmm? I’m looking at it right now.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t know. Let me look into this.”

(Puts patient on hold and checks schedule. The next is said in my most sickeningly sweet voice.)

Me: “Ma’am, you’re right. You did have an appointment on [date]—”

Patient: “You see?! How unprofessional!”

Me: “—last year. When we were open. The card you have is over a year old.”

Patient: “Well, how was I supposed to know that?!” *click*

Me: *to the dead phone* “Well, maybe if you’d clean your purse out more than once a year?”

Shuttling Away The Bad Customers

| WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

(When my brother comes to visit, the airline company loses his bag temporarily, and promises to call us when it comes in. A day later it arrives, so my brother and I drive down to the airport to pick it up. I wait in my idling van while my brother runs in to grab his bag. After a few minutes, I hear someone open the trunk and glance in the rearview mirror, only to see a woman I don’t recognize loading her bags into my trunk. I turn off the car and get out.)

Me: “Um, ma’am, I think you have the wrong…”

Woman: “I need to get to the [Hotel] and fast. I have a business lunch to attend, and need to sign in and freshen up.”

Me: “Well, I’m not a driver, and I’m just waiting for my brother. Maybe you should—”

Woman: “WELL, he is just going to just have to wait, isn’t he? I am a paying customer, and I expect you to do your job and take me where I need to go.”

(At this point I realize that she thinks I am a shuttle driver, which is ridiculous as all of the hotel shuttles have the hotel logo plastered on the side of their shuttles. As it is obvious that she isn’t going to listen, I decide to take a different approach.)

Me: “Well, okay, but given that you didn’t schedule ahead, I have my rush-service fee, plus a roaming service fee as the [Hotel] is outside of my usual area, plus gas and lost business fees, so that will be $300 dollars up front.”

Woman: “What? No, you have to take me for free!”

Me: “No, that is the hotel shuttle, which would have to word [Hotel] on the side. I am a for-profit shuttle only, and if you want me to take you now, it will cost $300.”

Woman: “Well, I’m going to report you!”

(She then proceeds to pull her bag out of my trunk and storm off. My brother, who arrived towards the end of the debate, grins before stepping forward and putting his own bag in the trunk.)

Brother: “I don’t have $300, but do you accept IOUs?”

Me: “I’ll give you the family discount. You have to cook tonight.”

Brother: “Deal!”

Always Have To Go When You Have To Go

| UK | Crazy Requests

Me: *speaking over screeching fire alarms* “We’re evacuating the building immediately… Let me show you to the fire exit.”

Customer: “Do I have time to use the toilet?”

Maybe He Needed Socks For The Office

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I work at a counter right inside the entrance of an office supply store. One day, I see a man in a suit hurrying into the store. He looks panicked.)

Me: “Hello! What can I help—”

Customer: *looking frantically at nearby displays* “Do you guys sell socks!?”

Me: “Er… no, we sell office supplies.”

Customer: “You’re SURE?!”

Me: “I’m sure.”

Customer: “Do you know if [Store Next Door] sells socks?”

Me: “It’s a better possibility than an office supply store selling them!”

(He turned around and hurried out of the store, headed for our neighbor.)

Not A Grain Of Sense

| DE, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(An obviously drunk customer wanders into my fragrance shop in the local farmers’ market.)

Customer: “Do you sell grain alcohol in here?”

Me: “No, sir, but there is a liquor store and a pharmacy across the street.”

Customer: “Does anyone sell grain alcohol in here?”

Me: “No, sir. It is only legal to sell that product in drugstores or liquor stores in this state.”

(I’m trying hard to convince myself that the man needs it for his child’s science experiment, or to fuel a bottle rocket. He is peering woozily at my shelves full of fragrances for men and women.)

Customer: “Can you drink any of this stuff?”

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