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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Board Of Mistrustees

    | England, UK | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

    (I am interning at a business and working reception. A customer calls, wanting the information of a man who used to work there.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [Business]. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “I need the contact information for [Name]. It’s very important.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We can’t give out the information of people who no longer work here.”

    Customer: “But I just need his information. It’s very important.”

    Me: “We are no longer affiliated with [Name] and cannot give out his information. You could try looking online.”

    (This back and forth goes on for some time with me trying to explain that we can’t just give out people’s personal info.)

    Customer: “Why aren’t you answering my question!? I’m reporting you to the board of trustees! What is your name?”

    Me: “My Name is [My Name] and you can do that if you wish.”

    (She then hangs up. As far as I know we don’t have a board of trustees and I’m a six week intern from out of the country so I’m not sure what she was hoping to accomplish…)

    Oblivious To The Obvious, Part 2

    | England, UK | Crazy Requests

    (I deal with customer queries on the phone, but we have no automated system that pops up with details. Calls just come straight through.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, this is [Bank]. Can I take your name please?”

    Customer: “It’s [Customer].”

    Me: “Hello, Mr. [Customer], how can I help?”

    Customer: “I want you to send me a list of my direct debits on this account.”

    Me: “Sure. Can I take your account details please?”

    Customer: “Isn’t it obvious?”

    Me: ” … No?”

    Related:
    Oblivious To The Obvious

    This Is Spyro-ing Out Of Control

    | Australia | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Technology

    (I am flicking through some pre-owned games, minding my own business when a late 20s age looking woman speaks to me:)

    Customer: “Do you know where the Skylanders discs are?”

    (As much as I would like to work there, I don’t work there. I don’t have a uniform or anything that says I work there. I was most likely in a shirt with a game reference on it.)

    Me: “What, Skylanders discs? I don’t know what you are talking about.”

    Customer: “You’re a boy. You should know what they are. My little [Son] wants me to get him some characters for his game.”

    Me: “Um, Skylanders characters aren’t discs but toy figures, and I don’t work here.”

    Customer: “You are lying. Prove that Skylanders are toys.”

    (I take this woman over to the ‘Skylanders’ toys and give a random one to her.)

    Customer: “This is just a toy, not a disc.”

    Me: “Okay, you must have seen your son play the game. These are what you put on a pad thing to play the character.”

    Customer: “But then how do you explain how the game saves then?”

    Me: “Have you ever used wireless internet?”

    Customer: “Yes, why?”

    Me: “It is like that on a small scale, and only works with the toys. Now are you going buy one of the toys?”

    (The customer’s eyes shoot open.)

    Customer: “I don’t remember what ones he wanted.”

    A Sizeable Problem

    | CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I work in a high-end retail store. It is very well known and we carry a lot of high end clothing brands. There are a few different types of sizing. It is incredibly busy and I have a ton of things in my hands. I have an injury so I shouldn’t be carrying this much.)

    Customer: “Hi. Can you help me?”

    Me: “One moment, please. My hands are completely full. I will be back in just one moment, though.”

    (I drop the merchandise in a dressing room and come back out and she blocks my way, speaking just two inches from my face.)

    Customer: “I need to try this on now! You have weird sizes and this is the only one my size!”

    (I look at the size and her and clearly she will not fit in the item.)

    Me: “Oh, this company runs very small. Can I grab another size for you? The four might be a little tight.”

    Customer: “No, I am a four.”

    Me: “If you usually wear a four dress size, you might still want to go up a couple of sizes. This brand runs very small.”

    Customer: “No. A four is extra large and I don’t think they make any bigger!”

    Me: “Oh, no. [Brand] is sized using dress sizes such as two, four, six, eight, ten. A four is the dress size.”

    Customer: “No, it is not.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, it is.”

    Customer: “No, you are wrong. It is one, two, three, four.  Four is extra large.”

    Me: “I am sorry, ma’am, I know that some companies do use that sizing and others use the dress size and many jeans are actually in inches. The shirt you have is [Brand] and they use dress sizes.”

    Customer: “No, they don’t. You have no idea what you are talking about! You are wrong! You are too young to know anything! You are wrong. A four is XL!”

    (I am 28 but I have been selling this brand since I was 14.)

    Me: “Okay. Go ahead and try the four.”

    (I walked away. The customer tried it on and then told us it is sized wrong.)

    Overly Expressing Herself

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I am the cashier for the express lane of the store. The express lane has a clearly posted sign that says twelve items or fewer. Unfortunately, a lot of customers come through with as many as twenty items. I still check them out, but I ask them to take larger orders to the regular checkout lanes in the future. In this case, a woman brings about 20 items through my lane.)

    Me: “Ma’am, in the future, if you have more than 12 items, please go to one of the regular lanes.”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “No?”

    Customer: “Express is faster.”

    (I just stare at her as she pays for her groceries and leaves.)

    Next Customer: “No shame.”

    Me: “Yeah…”

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