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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Driven To Make A Mis-Steak

    | Princeton, NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

    (Our family walks into a nice steakhouse at two in the afternoon, due to weather and personal delays. Fortunately, they are still serving customers. A large car is outside of the door, its engine still running. As we are waiting to be seated, an older gentleman walks up to the maître d’.)

    Old Customer: “Is your valet usually this busy?”

    Host: “I’m sorry?”

    Old Customer: “My car has been sitting outside for almost an hour now and it’s still there! He must have been very busy running around parking and fetching cars. Make sure you pay him better. It’s very cold outside right now.”

    Host: “Sir, I’m sorry, but we don’t offer valet parking services for lunch hours. Valet service is only available for dinner.”

    Old Customer: “Oh… I left my keys in my car!”

    (The old gentleman quickly walked out and parked his car. He returned a few minutes later and thanked the host. Good thing this was a relatively safe neighborhood!)

    Almost Surgical With Their Inconsideration

    | PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I am a general dentist and have to be out of the office for surgery that is semi-emergency in nature. We call all the patients and let them know why we have to reschedule their appointments and apologize and let them know we have a colleague covering. The night before surgery, I answer the phone and it is one of the patients we had called to reschedule.)

    Patient: “You called to reschedule my appointment.”

    Me: “I apologize but I’m having surgery tomorrow. When is a good time to get you back?”

    Patient: “There’s never a good time. You really can’t see me tomorrow?”

    Me: “No. I will be under anesthesia at seven am.”

    Patient: “Whatever.”

    Dying To Get Some Service

    | OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I am deathly allergic to strawberries. Ingesting even a tiny trace of strawberry sends me into anaphylactic shock, for which I keep an EpiPen on me. This instance occurs late one evening while I am in the back doing dishes after a late lunch break. Somehow, strawberry must have gotten into my food because I suddenly find my throat closing and my face and chest swelling. I frantically ask my coworker to call 911 before my throat closes all the way and I practically collapse. She injects my EpiPen, and as my airway begins to clear and the panic subsides slightly, I am able to hear an exchange happening through the headset.)

    Customer: “…seriously? This ambulance is completely blocking the drive-thru lane. This is ridiculous. How am I going to be able to get out of here? Can I even still get my coffee?! UGH!”

    Coworker: *with all the sarcasm she can muster* “Terribly sorry to inconvenience you, ma’am. We have an employee dying in the back room.”

    Customer: “What? You’re just saying that!”

    Coworker: *fed up* “Sorry, the drive-thru lane is closed right now. If you want coffee you’ll have to come inside.”

    Customer: “This is TERRIBLE customer service! I’m NEVER coming back here! Ridiculous!”

    (I hope she never does come back! Glad your coffee was more important than my LIFE, lady!)

    In Hot Soup Now

    | The Netherlands | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (We serve our soup in big round fancy bowls where the edge is raised on only one side.)

    Customer: “Excuse me! Miss, I have a complaint. I’m afraid I did not receive a full bowl of soup. You see, it’s only half full.”

    (I look at her bowl and see that it is in fact filled for as much as the bowl allows. You could not possibly fill the bowl with more soup, because it would spill over on one side.)

    Me: “Ma’am, it seems that your bowl is completely filled. What exactly do you mean?”

    Customer: “Look! Look at this side of the bowl! There’s no soup here. It’s false advertising. Why would you have a bowl this large and high and not fill it all the way?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, are you asking me to change the law of physics for you?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Not Quite Swimming In Emergencies

    | Boise, ID, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I work at the front desk of a pediatrician’s office during their evening hours. This call comes in around 4:30 pm.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Office]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes, my daughter is incredibly sick I need to get her in right away.”

    Me: “Of course. Can you tell me what is going on?”

    Caller: “She is very congested, maybe a sinus or an ear infection. I’m worried about her breathing. I need to get her in as soon as possible. This is very urgent!”

    Me: “I understand, but our providers have finished seeing patients for the day. We have a doctor on-call doctor who will be coming in this evening. I can schedule you for 6:30 pm if you are comfortable waiting until then.”

    Caller: “Oh, no, that won’t work at all. She has swim lessons at six.”

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