July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

A Pulled-Teeth Burger

| Milwaukee, WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I’m a cook at a diner with an open kitchen, but because we work with a skeleton crew, I often step onto the floor to help take orders. Today I stepped in to take an order for a man who came in alone.)

Me: “Hello, how are you today?”

(The customer doesn’t respond, and continues staring at the menu. After a few seconds, I continue.)

Me: “Can I start you off with anything to drink today?”

Customer: “Burger with fried onions and French fries!”

Me: “And would you like anything to drink with that?”

(The customer looks at me like I’m an idiot.)

Customer: “Of course! A [Soda]!”

(I proceed to enter and cook his order. After finishing his meal, the customer calls me over again.)

Customer: “I’d like you to start that burger for my wife!”

(No one had mentioned any burger to me, or the server.)

Me: “Ummm, sure! What would she like on it?”

(Customer stares at me again like I’m an idiot.)

Customer: “You figure it out! You’re the d*** cook!”

(It took me a few moments to comprehend what had just occurred. I was somehow, in my infinite capacity as a diner cook, to know what someone whom I’ve never met before wanted on their burger, and that I was at fault for not being able to do so. Utterly bewildered, I went back to the kitchen and called the server over.)

Me: “Listen, I have no idea what’s going on, but the guy at B4 just placed a burger order for his wife, but won’t tell me what to put on it. Can you please find out?”

(The server comes back almost ten minutes later, during which I had to take the remaining customers orders while cooking.)

Server: “That was like pulling f****** teeth! Apparently she wants fried onions and mushrooms on it, no cheese.”

Me: “What side?”

(Server gets a look of horror on her face and looks over at the customer. She had forgotten to ask.)

Server: “She wants fries. Give her fries.”

Went Beyond Their Reason

| Newtown, PA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

Me: *answering phone* “Thank you for calling Bed Bath & Beyond [Location]. This is [My Name]. How can I direct your call?”

Customer: “Hi, yeah, is this Bed Bath & Body Works?”

Me: “This is Bed Bath & Beyond; Bath & Body Works is a different store.”

Customer: “Oh…”

Me: “…is this the store you meant to call?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “What were you calling about, sir? What were you looking for information about?”

Customer: “Uh. I don’t know?”

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t do much for you without more information, especially if this isn’t the store you meant to call!”

Customer: “Well, you’re NO help, are you now?” *click*

Zipping From One Line To Another

| Stevens, PA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work at a retreat and adventure center. One of our main attractions is a zipline canopy tour that requires one to make a reservation. Many call in to do so and inquire about certain safety issues and other things.)

Me: “Hello, [Camp]. This is [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like to reserve a spot for ziplining.”

Me: “Okay, what day?”

Customer: “Sunday.”

Me: “Okay, and what time.”

Customer: “What time is best? What time will get us finished by dinner?”

Me: “I don’t know, ma’am. How about three?”

Customer: “Okay, and what time would be best for us to leave so we can get there on time?”

Me: “I don’t know, ma’am, it depends on where you live.”

Customer: “And I wanted to stick in a pot roast and have it done when we return. What would be the best temperature to leave the pot roast at so that it will be done when we get back?”

Removed From Reality

| MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Remove me from your mailing list.”

Me: “Okay, certainly. Nay I have your last name?”

Customer: *rattles off long unintelligible letters*

Me: “Er, I’m sorry. Could you repeat that a little slower?”

Customer: “Just remove me from the list!”

Me: “I’d be happy to, sir, but I need your name and the address you’d like to remove.”

Customer: “You know that already! You should be able to look me up by the last three letters of my last name right?!”

Me: “Uh, no. I can’t. May I have your name and address to remove?”

Customer: “NO. JUST TAKE ME OFF THE LIST. I KNOW YOU HAVE A LIST!” *disconnects*

Coworker: *who heard the whole thing and is laughing hysterically at my bewildered expression* “I hope he thinks we actually removed him and then gets a ton more in the mail!”

Pretend You Weren’t Listening

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem, Technology

(I work in an electronics store and we sell speakers and sound bars for TVs. We sometimes sell our display units if we are out of stock. One of my coworkers has been talking to a customer about one for ages, but since he is about to leave, he says the customer is happy with it and asks me to pack it up for him. The customer has been watching me struggle with the packaging for about five minutes.)

Customer: “Thanks for packing that up for me; that looked like it was a hard one to do.”

(I’m currently putting tape over the box, sealing it in there.)

Me: “Yeah, it was. You get used to doing it while working, but sometimes it’s particularly difficult. I’m glad I FINALLY got it in though; sorry for taking so long.”

Customer: “That’s fine. Can I have a listen to it now?”

Me: “…”

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