• Understood The Concept Swimmingly
    (1,470 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Doesn’t Have A Leg To Stand On, Part 2

    | Athens, GA, USA | Awesome Workers, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I’m a carhop at the Sonic near my house. I had knee surgery a few months ago and have to wear a pretty heavy brace under my uniform to be able to walk. It also means I can’t skate. People can get pretty rude if you’re not on skates.)

    Me: “Hi! Your total is [total].”

    Customer: “Why aren’t you on skates?”

    (I’m getting annoyed at this point. It’s Super Bowl Sunday and we’re busy.)

    Me: “Skating isn’t required. ma’am. Your total is—”

    Customer: *angrily* “I’m not going to give you my f****** money unless you’re on skates. I’m paying good money to this place so you should be on skates!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. ma’am. I can’t skate. Your total is—”

    Customer: “I’m not giving you s*** unless you go put on skates and give me my food!”

    (The lady’s yelling at me now, but I’m still trying to be polite.)

    Me: “I can’t give you your food until you give me the money, ma’am. And I can’t go put on skates.”

    Customer: “WHY THE F*** NOT?!”

    (I’m pissed at this point so I just say the first that comes to mind.)

    Me: “I can’t skate because it makes my prosthetic leg fall off.”

    Customer: “…Huh?”

    Me: “The parking lot isn’t very smooth so the vibrations make my leg fall off.”

    Customer: “You’re s****** me.”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I’m not.”

    (I knock on the metal of the brace to get the point across but she still doesn’t look convinced. Placing the tray of food on her car hood I unhook the brace on my leg. It sticks out at a weird angle and legitimately makes it look like I just took off my leg. The lady’s gone sheet white and is gaping like a fish at this point.)

    Me: “Lost it last year.”

    (I snap the brace back in place and pick the tray back up.)

    Me: “Your total is [total].”

    (The lady shoved a fifty in my face, grabbed her food, and peeled out of the parking lot. Happy about my thirty-something dollar tip I went back inside to get another order and found my manager and just about every other employee crowded about one of the intercoms and laughing their a**es off.)

    Doesn’t Have A Leg To Stand On

    Climbing The Ladder Of Crazy

    | CO, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

    (I work in an old-fashioned bookstore, with high shelves and a ladder attached to them that moves along the wall. I am standing at the very top of the ladder, balancing a box full of books between the ladder and myself. All of a sudden a customer comes racing towards me. She grabs the ladder and shoves it to one side, effectively knocking my box down.)

    Customer: “It has to be right here! Where is it?!”

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am! Please be careful with the ladder. I’m high up and I could get hurt!”

    Customer: *ignores me* “I need help finding a book. Help me now, please!”

    (She then grabs the ladder again and yanks it the other way, causing me to fall off. Thankfully I hold onto the ladder, so now I’m dangling from the side of it. Another customer quickly runs over and helps me get down from the ladder.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, I said I needed help! Stop helping him and help me!”

    Me: “I wasn’t helping him; he was helping me get down from the ladder so that you don’t kill me! Were you trying to break my neck?”

    Customer: “What? You weren’t on the ladder. I need help finding a book. I need a book that will tell me how to smoke.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “I tried it and I must have done it wrong because I coughed like crazy.”

    Me: “Ma’am, you came in here, nearly killed me, and you’re trying to find a book that doesn’t exist, because you think your natural reflexes are wrong?”

    Customer: “Oh, I knew I should have gone to Barnes and Noble.” *leaves store*

    An Argonizing Encounter

    | London, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    Cashier: “Did you find everything you needed?”

    Customer: “No. I was hoping you could help me, actually. I’m looking for a shampoo. I can’t remember the name but it has argon in it.”

    Cashier: “Argon, madam?”

    Customer: “Yes that’s right, argon.”

    Cashier: “Oh! You must mean argan oil. I can show you…”

    Customer: “No, no! I don’t want oil in my hair! I said ARGON.”

    Cashier: “But madam, shampoo doesn’t contain—”

    Customer: “Do you even know what argon is?”

    Cashier: “Yes, madam. It’s a gas. Sometimes used in lightbulbs. I don’t think it’s used in shampoo, though.”

    Customer: “You really don’t know what you’re talking about, do you? Just because it’s a gas doesn’t mean it can’t be mixed. Water has oxygen in it, you know!”

    Me: “Excuse me, madam, but I’m in a hurry and if you’re looking for argon compounds you’re going to be here a very long time.”

    Customer: “What do you know, exactly?”

    Me: “I know that argon is a noble gas so you’re very unlikely to find any compounds of it in this shop.”

    Customer: *scoffs* “It’s not that hard to get hold of it! They just use recycled lightbulbs.”

    Me: “Noble doesn’t mean rare. The stuff’s over 20 times more common than carbon dioxide. It means it’s almost completely unreactive. To get a compound you could mix into a shampoo, you’d need a very high-tech lab and a lot more money than anyone would pay for shampoo.”

    Customer: “Fine! I’ll go somewhere they know what they’re talking about!” *storms out*

    Me: “Yeah, good luck with that.”

    Cashier: “Um… yeah. Thanks for that”

    Her Sanity Is Under Construction

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

    (I am working as a front desk supervisor and have checked a very sweet, older lady into a very specific room type; she wanted as high as possible, facing the Space Needle. A few minutes after she went upstairs she returned to the desk.)

    Customer: “I LOVE the room!”

    Me: “Great! I’m so glad you like it!”

    Customer: “But…”

    Me: *in my head* “Oh, no. Here it comes.”

    Customer: “There’s a crane in my view.”

    (Seattle at this point had (and still has) a ton of construction going on. About halfway between the hotel and the Needle there is condo construction, and indeed, a crane, but the lady is 46 floors up so it is not blocking the Needle at all.)

    Me: “Yes, Seattle does have a good bit of construction now. I can certainly move you to a different view with no cranes.”

    Customer: *still being very sweet and cheerful* “Oh, no, honey. I don’t want to change rooms. I LOVE my room. I want the crane to be moved.”

    Me: “Um… ma’am you realize that would cost millions in late deadlines, loss of pay for workers, cost to move it and then put it back…”

    Customer: *again, still super nice* “Oh, I know, honey. Money is no object! I just want a pretty view!”

    (At this point I started to look for cameras, thinking I was being pranked. I excused myself and went to tell my Director of Rooms the situation. He thought I must be joking at first too, but then he went out to speak with the lady. She was just as nice and happy with him, but was just certain we would get this crane moved for her. My director finally got her a list of phone numbers for the city, the construction crew, and the people that own the building. He told her that since they would probably want to talk money, it would be better it she spoke with them herself. She happily took the list, thanked us, and left. The crane never moved.)

    Lost The Discount

    | Denver, CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

    (This is a phone conversation:)

    Me: “Hello, this is [Hotel Name and Location]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I’ve been driving around for twenty minutes looking for you. I think you should give me a discount.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that.”

    (I give directions to the hotel from where she is. She’s basically around the corner.)

    Customer: *obviously not listening* “Yeah, but I want a discount.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, that’s not something I can discount for. You are always free to call if you need help, though.”

    Customer: “But I want a discount.”

    Me: “Sorry, I can’t.”

    Customer: “…An upgrade then.”

    Me: “Sorry, no.”

    Customer: “…Okay.”

    (She arrives at the front desk and I start checking her in. I’ve acknowledged the fact that I spoke to her on the phone before.)

    Customer: “I got lost. Give me a discount.”

    Me: “…No.”

    Customer: “Upgrade?”