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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    A Photo Perfect Finish

    , | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests

    (I work in the photo processing department of a large retailer. A customer comes in and starts thumbing through the 2×2″ square frames suitable for passport photos, etc. displayed on the processing counter.)

    Customer: *abruptly* “Excuse me, can you print photos at this size?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but the smallest square size the printer will allow us to produce is 5×5″ – that paper is the smallest paper we have available.”

    Customer: “Well, what good is that? This is ridiculous.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “It’s disgusting; this is false and misleading advertising! How dare you stock a product if you won’t stock the supplementary parts!”

    Me: “Using that same flawed logic, ma’am, you could argue that it’s false and misleading advertising insofar as we stock baby car-seats, but not cars – or babies!”

    (Customer blinked, stared blankly, and then stormed off.)

    The Key(s) To Customer Service

    | Raleigh, NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

    (I usually work the electronics department, but I’ve stepped into the main toy section to show a customer where an item is located. Another customer gets my attention.)

    Customer: “Can you tell me where [line of dolls] are?”

    Me: “I’m not familiar with those dolls, but if we do carry them, they’ll be in [aisle numbers].”

    Customer: “Well, the other girl said that you don’t have them!”

    Me: “We probably don’t, then. It’s been a very busy morning and we’re sold out of a lot of popular items.”

    Customer: “Can’t you look it up on that doodad of yours?”

    (The customer gestures at the set of keys in my hand, which have a large black magnetic key attached to them.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid I don’t have my handheld scanner, but if you give me a moment I can go to the electronics department—”

    Customer: “No, that doodad in your hand!”

    Me: *as gently as possible* “Ma’am, these are my keys, not my handheld.”

    Customer: “I have had it with this store! This is the worst customer service! I will inform your manager that you refused to serve me!”

    (Later, my manager drops by.)

    Manager: “Did you try to help a very grumpy old woman?”

    Me: “Yeah, and she was mad that I couldn’t use my keys to look up an item.”

    Manager: “I’m not surprised. She complained about you, and then wanted me to help her find a doll in an ad. I pointed out that it was an ad for a competitor and that the doll was marked as that [Competitor]‘s exclusive item. She told me she’d just come from there and they didn’t have any more, so what was I going to do about it? I told her nothing, since we’re not [Competitor]. Last I saw she was leaving her cart and walking out of the store complaining about how employees these days have no sense of what customer service really means.”

    A Premature Point Of View

    | Courtenay, BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

    (I work the front desk of a smaller hotel, where all of our rooms face the ocean; meaning the front entrance of the units are motel style in the back, edging onto a wooded area with the sliding glass doors all facing the waters edge. A guest we had just checked about 10 minutes ago comes back to the desk FURIOUS. I overhear the exchange between him and my coworker…)

    Guest: “I was told my room had an OCEAN VIEW! You people are NOT advertising correctly. This is false advertising!”

    Coworker: “Sir, I assure you you ARE in one of our beachfront units. In fact, it really doesn’t get much more ‘beachfront!’”

    Guest: “Yeah, well, I can assure YOU that my room is NOT facing the water! I am not paying this much money to stare at some trees!”

    (At this point we’re all dumbfounded as to why this guest claims his room doesn’t have a view, as it’s physically impossible for it not to. At this point, my coworker clues in.)

    Coworker: “… Sir, did you actually ENTER the room yet?”

    Guest: “No, but the building is surrounded by trees. There’s no ocean or beach in sight!”

    (As soon as the guest actually WENT INTO the room, to his surprise, he found a gorgeous ocean view and had no further complaints!)

    Common Sense Just Melts Away

    | Charleston, SC, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (A small crowd has suddenly formed in the store, so I jump on the line to help my coworker with the sandwiches. She’s already started one and tells me the customer wants a chicken bacon ranch. I make the sandwich right in front of the customer. After heating up all the meats, I have her tell me what kind of veggies she wants on it. When the last veggie is put on, this happens:)

    Customer: “And tomatoes… but I wanted a melt, not a chicken bacon ranch.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “I told the other girl I wanted a melt.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am. I’ll make you a new sandwich, but why didn’t you say anything for the last two minutes? You could see it wasn’t a melt, right?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I knew it wasn’t a melt. I thought you were going to figure out it wasn’t one either.”

    Coupon Is Off

    | IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Wild & Unruly

    Customer: “I want to use this Groupon for my massage today; your manager said I could.”

    (I look at the Groupon and it is for a competitor. I explain this to her.)

    Customer: “Well, your manager said I could use this…”

    (I call the manager who says that she claimed it was expired, not for a completely different store.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I spoke with my manager and he agreed to let you use an expired Groupon, not one for a completely different location.”

    Customer: “This is f****** ridiculous!!! I’m calling the BBB and putting you on Facebook!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am. I’m so sorry but I cannot allow you to use this but I can give you our member rate today and give you a free half hour massage on your next visit which is $80 in savings.”

    Customer: “But I already paid for this Groupon and I WANT TO USE IT NOW!”

    Me: “I understand your frustration, ma’am, but I cannot allow you to use this at this clinic as it is not for our store but for our competitors.”

    Customer: “Well you just don’t want me to come in here. You hate people like me don’t you? You’re racist!”

    (I am confused as both the customer and I are white.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to need you to watch your language and calm down. Again, I cannot let you use this at this store but I can offer you up to $80 in savings and you will be paying less than you originally paid for the Groupon.”

    Customer: “No! I ALREADY PAID FOR THIS F****** THING! I’M GOING TO THE BBB AND PUTTING YOU ON FACEBOOK! YOU PEOPLE ARE WORTHLESS AND EVIL!”

    Me: “Ma’am, can I ask you just one question? Do you get mad when you go to Walmart and they don’t let you use Target Gift Cards?”

    Customer: “…”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: “Oh… well… just, NEVERMIND, YOU HEATHEN!”

    (The customer walked out and never did get her massage. I also never heard from the BBB or corporate about being ‘blasted’ on Facebook.)

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