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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Inspecting Can Be Very Faxing

    | Whitehorse, YT, Canada | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (The phone rings in the service department.)

    Caller: “I was wondering if you guys do vehicle inspections for imported cars and trailers?”

    Me: “Yes, we sure do.”

    Caller: “Well, I have a bit of a problem. I live about four hours away and I have a trailer that I brought up from the USA. I have all the paperwork but I haven’t had the inspection for registering it in Canada done yet. I forgot to get it done when I brought it through the city a couple of weeks ago.”

    Me: “We can do it anytime Monday through Friday. The inspection should only take a couple of minutes.”

    Caller: “Yeah that’s the problem. I really don’t have time to get the trailer to the city before the 30 day permit expires. Do you guys need to see the actual trailer before you can do the paperwork?”

    Me: “Yes, we have to see the actual trailer.”

    Caller: “Can you just fill in the paperwork and fax it to me?”

    Me: “We have to actually inspect the trailer. We also need all the paperwork to register the trailer in Canada.”

    Caller: “But what if I just fax you the paperwork, can you just fill it in and fax it back to me? I don’t have the time to take the trailer to the city, that’s gonna cost me a whole day. It would be great if I could just fax the paperwork to you.”

    Me: “We have to inspect the actual trailer and we need the original paperwork.”

    Caller: “Why!?”

    Me: “Because we can’t inspect a fax!”

    Caller: *click*

    Making A Monumental Mistake

    | Washington, DC, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (The Washington Monument is currently under construction due to an earthquake in 2011. It’s covered from top to bottom in scaffolding as workers make repairs. The ticket booth where you would normally buy tickets to ride the elevator to the top is, obviously, closed. I am walking by one day, and I notice a woman with three children standing at the booth, carrying a lot of tourist merchandise, and looking around in a semi-panic. She sees a park maintenance employee, and waves him over.)

    Tourist: “Sir! Sir!”

    Employee: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

    Tourist: “I’m trying to buy tickets for the Washington Monument, but there’s no one here.”

    Employee: “Well, ma’am, the Monument is closed right now.”

    Tourist: “No, no. The ticket booth is closed, but I want to buy tickets.”

    Employee: “Sorry, I think you misunderstood. The monument is closed to the public for repairs. I don’t know when it will re-open, but it won’t be for a very long time.”

    Tourist: “I can see the booth is closed, and I resent your condescending tone!”

    Employee: “I meant no tone, ma’am. But the booth is closed because the Monument is closed.”

    Tourist: “I’ll make this easy on you. I… want to go… up… there!”

    (At this point, I have to step in and help this poor fellow who’s working outside in the heat and humidity and getting harassed by this crazy tourist and her now-crying children.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but maybe I can help here. The monument…” *I point at it* “…is closed and under construction. No one is allowed to go inside because it’s unsafe.”

    Tourist: “What are you talking about? I see people up there right now!”

    Me: “Those are construction workers.”

    Tourist: “I don’t care who they are. I just want to buy some tickets. We traveled a long way to get here and I promised my children they could go up there!”

    Me: “Well, maybe you should have checked before you got here.”

    (She pulls out an old, beaten-up tourist map from her purse and waves it in my face.)

    Tourist: “This said I could buy tickets!”

    Me: “Right. Well, this map is from 2005. See? It has a picture of President Bush on it.”

    Tourist: “Don’t you dare blame him! This is all Obama’s fault!”

    A Good Customer Is A Fresh Breath Of Air

    , | NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I enter a local fast food place. There’s only one customer ahead of me standing to the side. Just as I get to the counter to place my order he’s given an order of french fries. He lets out an incredibly loud and dramatic sigh, then proceeds to yell at the woman who gave them to him.)

    Customer: “You know, you should just LISTEN to your customers!”

    Employee: “What’s wrong, sir?”

    Customer: “I said I wanted the FRESH ONES!”

    Employee: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I wasn’t told. That batch just came out a minute ago. It’s still hot from the fryer.”

    Customer: “I KNOW THAT! I specifically said I wanted the fresh batch you were working on!

    Employee: “All right. Again, I didn’t know that, sir. I’m sorry. I’ll take those back and the other ones will be right up.”

    Customer: “It’s just that you should LISTEN TO THE CUSTOMER! When he ASKS for something he should GET IT!”

    (By this point all other conversation in the front of the restaurant has stopped and everyone – customers and employee alike – are staring at the man who’s still raising a fuss over something that has essentially already been resolved. He grabs his tray and stomps over to the far side of the counter, standing there with arms folded and huffing like someone a tenth his age. I finally step up to the register.)

    Me: “Yes, I’ll have the [combo meal], and I’d like my soda made FRESH, please. Mix the syrup up yourself. And if you could take a straw and blow the bubbles into it right in front of me that would be great!”

    (The other customer apparently didn’t hear me but at least I got a laugh out of the crew and the other people in line!)

    The Whole Nine Yards Of Unreason

    | GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (Whilst having an indoor yard sale, I happen to have an open and hours sign from our old store, so I put them up. A customer in a rather nice car pulls up.)

    Customer: “What kind of store is this?”

    Me: ‘It’s a yard sale. I just happen to have the signs and thought they would be funny.”

    Customer: “Oh… okay.”

    (The customer proceeds to browse for a few minutes.)

    Customer: “Is this used?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “How about this? Is this used?”

    Me: “Yes…”

    Customer: “WHAT NERVE DO YOU HAVE SELLING USED ITEMS? THIS IS THE WORST STORE I’VE BEEN TO!”

    Me: “This is a yard sale. That’s generally how it works. People sell their used goods.”

    Customer: “I’ve never heard of nonsense like that. Nobody wants someone’s used things. I’m reporting you to the Better Business Bureau!”

    Me: “Go right ahead. Have a nice day.”

    Best To Try To Rise Above It

    , | Portland, ME, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I am in the middle of a health scare involving my lungs, and my doctor has told me not to use the stairs for more than one flight. I need to be on the fourth floor, so I am waiting for the elevator when a patron storms up to me.)

    Patron: “Excuse me! I don’t know if you read the sign, but it clearly says that this elevator is for handicapped people. Not people who are just too lazy to use the stairs.”

    Me: “…I beg your pardon?”

    Patron: “You need to leave the elevator for the people who really need it.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I need the elevator.”

    Patron: “That’s bulls***.”

    Me: “Look, lady. One of my LUNGS is not functioning right now, and my doctor has told me that I’m not allowed to take the stairs.”

    Patron: “Your doctor is too easy on you!”


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