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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Trying To Explain It In Black And White

    , | OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (A customer walks in with a black & white document.)

    Me: “Do you need some copies made today?”

    Customer: “Yes, please. I need 20 of these, black & white.”

    (I make her copies and walk back to the counter.)

    Customer: “Can you make 10 in color, too, please?”

    Me: “Sure, you just need them on the brighter, heavier paper that we use in the color machine?”

    Customer: *stares at me like I have two heads* “NO, so that they’re in COLOR.”

    Me: “You mean you want it to look like it did on the computer screen before you printed these in black?”

    Customer: *frustrated* “YES!”

    Me: “No color machine in the world is capable of restoring color from a black and white copy.”

    Customer: “Whatever.”

    (Thank goodness the customer behind her was laughing at her because I was certainly about to!)

    Say Neigh To Demanding Customers, Part 2

    | Australia | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

    (I work for a large adventure playground which is situated in a park. We are strictly a ‘no pets allowed’ establishment; however, the park is popular with dog walkers and is used for obedience and agility classes, so it is a common occurrence to have people come along with their dogs and get frustrated when we have to turn them away. In this situation I am overhearing one of my coworkers speaking on the phone.)

    Coworker #1: “Yes, ma’am, I understand.”

    (Pause.)

    Coworker #1: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but our playground has a strict ‘no pets allowed’ policy.”

    (Longer pause.)

    Coworker #1: “I’m sorry to hear that, but we really can’t make exceptions.”

    (Pause.)

    Coworker #1: “Ye—” *pause* “But I—” *pause* “We—” *pause* “No, th—” *pause*

    (This carries on for some time, until eventually my coworker seems to give up.)

    Coworker #1: *speaking very loudly* “YES, MA’AM, I UNDERSTAND. I’M SORRY WE COULDN’T WORK THINGS OUT. HAVE A NICE DAY.”

    (He hangs up the phone with force and drops his head to the counter.)

    Coworker #2: “Another person wanting to bring their puppy in, huh?”

    Coworker #1: “No. She wanted to bring her HORSE.”

    Related:
    Say Neigh To Demanding Customers

    Totally Lost Their Marbles

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, History

    Museum Patron: “Yeah, hi, we’ve looked at everything here. Where is the ‘real” art?”

    Me: “Uhm, did you look in all these rooms downstairs and upstairs?”

    Museum Patron: “Yeah, we saw all that but it’s just a bunch of marble statues. Where is the REAL art?”

    Me: “Ma’am, this IS real art.”

    Courting Disaster

    | Coeur d' Alene, ID, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

    (It’s my first day working at my new career. I just graduated college and my boss asked me to call a client and remind them their sentencing is tomorrow. It’s the Thursday prior to Memorial Day weekend. This is my first client call:)

    Me: “Hi, this is [My Name] from [Law Office]. I’m calling to remind you that your sentencing is tomorrow at 1:00 pm. [Lawyer] asks that you meet him in front of the courthouse at 12:45 pm or so.”

    Client: “Oh! Well, I don’t think I can make it.”

    Me: “What?”

    Client: “Yeah, um, I don’t think I can make it. I just gassed up my motorhome and I’m leaving for Memorial Day tomorrow morning.”

    (At this point, I was completely floored and not sure what to do. It’s court… not a choice. Do I explain that she’s going to have a warrant if she doesn’t show? I told her I will talk to my boss and get back to her. He ended up calling her. She did show up for court.)

    Bigots United

    | MA, USA | Bigotry, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I am the assistant manager at a rent-to-own home goods company. Since payments pay for the week in advance there are no grace periods and, due to the customer base, repossessions are common. I am female, white, pagan, and lesbian. My boss is male, Cambodian, Buddhist, and an immigrant.)

    Customer: *storms in* “You guys are racist! I’m gonna sue you all!”

    Me: “Hi! How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Your truck showed up and took my s***! I want it back now or I’ll sue you f*** racists!”

    Me: “Let me take a look at your account so we can figure out what is going on. What’s your name?”

    Customer: “You know d** well what my name is! This whole store is a bunch of f****** racists.”

    (Aside from myself and the manager we only have two other employees. One is male, Hispanic, and very Catholic, and the other is male, a very dark skinned Haitian, and practices voodoo. Between the four of us we represent four religions, four races, gay/straight, married/unmarried, young/middle age, male/female, etc… My manager comes out from his office.)

    Manager: “Hello, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “You are all a bunch of racists and bigots. You sent your truck just to persecute me!”

    Manager: “Sir, please calm down. We sent out truck because you have not been in to pay your bill in three weeks.”

    Customer: “Bulls***! You sent it because you can’t stand someone like me to have nice things!”

    (My truck guys are protective over me. They hear the commotion and come out of the back, standing behind me and the manager.)

    Customer: “Give me my s*** back! I’m gonna call the cops and tell them what a bunch of f****** racists you are!”

    Me: “We would be happy to return the items, sir. We just need you to catch your account up. With three weeks behind, and then the next week ahead, it makes four weeks total. That comes to—”

    Customer: “Oh, H***, NO! I’m not paying that s***! You bunch of bigots! You are gonna give me back my s*** for FREE or I’m gonna sue!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. You need to catch up your account before we can re-deliver.”

    Customer: “Listen here, you little b****! I know my rights! I’m gonna sue! You’re all a bunch of racists and bigots!”

    Truck Guy: “Against what, exactly?”

    (The customer finally paused long enough to look at us… in all of our cultural rainbow glory… then turned and walked out quickly!)

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