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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Just Burst Their Kentucky Fried Bubble, Part 3

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Themed Giveaway

    (I work for a gourmet chocolate shop, and the majority of our products are imported from several factories in Europe.)

    Customer: “Do you have chocolate turkeys for Thanksgiving?”

    Me: “No, Ma’am, we do not.”

    Customer: “Why the f*** not?!”

    Me: “Well, we’re a Swiss company, and they don’t celebrate Thanksgiving.”

    Customer: “You’re a f***ing liar. Like h*** they don’t celebrate it. It’s a national holiday!”

    Me: “Yes, it is. It’s a national holiday, Ma’am. It’s only celebrated here, in the US. You can try [other European brand], though. I’m pretty sure I saw chocolate turkeys in their window display.”

    Customer: “Trying to make me look stupid, huh? Well fine, I’m never shopping here again! And everyone knows that turkeys are extinct in Europe, so why would [other European brand] have chocolate f****** turkeys?!”

    Me: “…and you have a lovely day, Ma’am.”

    Related:
    From NotAlwaysLearning
    Just Burst Their Kentucky Fried Bubble, Part 2
    Just Burst Their Kentucky Fried Bubble

    Nine-Dumb-Dumb

    | CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I am the after-hours emergency line representative for a property management company. We essentially handle things that are association responsibility and will cost the association money, not the homeowner.)

    Homeowner: “I think someone is breaking into my house!”

    Me: “Did you call the police?”

    Homeowner: “No, why would I do that?”

    Me: “Because we don’t offer security service. We only dispatch people out for things like plumbing emergencies, or broken sprinklers.”

    Homeowner: “What do I do?”

    Me: “Call 911.”

    Homeowner: “Can you do it for me?”

    Me: “Ma’am, 911 tracks the location of the caller. If you feel threatened, you need to call 911 right now.”

    Homeowner: “God-d***-it, what the h*** do I pay monthly dues for?” *hangs up*

    Filed Away In The Embarrassment Folder

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (A customer brings in a USB drive from which to print a document. I plug it into the print center’s PC.)

    Me: “Alrighty, ma’am, which file are we printing for you today?”

    Customer: “I don’t see mine in here. Can you try opening the MISC folder to see if it’s in there?”

    (I open the folder as requested.)

    Customer: “It’s not in there! Oh, don’t tell me it didn’t download to my drive!”

    Me: “Aw, that’s a bummer! Did you want to try looking in some of the other folders?”

    Customer: “No! It wouldn’t be in any of those!”

    Me: “Do you possibly have the file in your email, by any chance? If you could pull up the attachment on your phone, we could print it that way.”

    (I unplug the drive and hand it back to the customer. Suddenly angry, she snatches it from my hand and storms off.)

    Customer: “No! I’m going to go back home, save it again, and THEN I’m going to have it printed SOMEWHERE ELSE!”

    Me: “What…?”

    I Do Work Here, Does Not Work Here

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Liars & Scammers

    (It is Valentine’s Day, and I work at one of the more popular restaurants in the city. When I arrive to start my shift, there is a long line of couples coming out of the doors. I am clearly in my work uniform, and I approach the door to start my shift. The first customer in line throws his hand in front of me to block the door.)

    Customer #1: “Whoa, man, can you not see the line?”

    Me: “Excuse me? No, sorry, sir, I work here.”

    Customer #1: “Yeah, nice try. Back of the line.”

    Me: “Sir, I clearly work here, as you can see by my uniform and name tag. If you don’t mind, my shift starts in a few minutes and I’d rather not be late.”

    Customer #1′s Girlfriend: “Look, buddy, we’ve been waiting here for 30 minutes. No silly costume is gonna get you in ahead of me.”

    Customer #1: “Yeah, my girl deserves the best, so don’t think you’re gonna take it away from her on Valentine’s Day. So why don’t you just go and wait like the rest of us before I f*** you up!”

    Me: “Look, sir, I don’t understand why you don’t believe me, but I really do work here and I’m meant to be inside right now! Can you please just let me go to work?”

    (Customer #2, standing in line behind Customer #1, decides to chime in.)

    Customer #2: “Look, mate, he’s made it quite clear to you that he works here. Why don’t you just let him through?”

    (Note: Customer #1 is clearly a good few inches taller and more muscular than Customer #2.)

    Customer #1: “Excuse me? Did you really want to get involved?”

    Customer #2: “Uh, no! Sorry!” *to me* “Sorry, mate, I tried.”

    (At this point, I am already a good few minutes late, and my phone starts to ring.)

    Me: “Hello?”

    Manager: “[Name], where the h*** are you? One of the busiest nights of the year and you choose to be late now?”

    Me: “I’m right outside. I have been for ten minutes, but this customer won’t let me through because he doesn’t believe I work here!”

    Manager: “What?! Hang on.”

    (My manager hangs up and comes outside to find me barricaded by the customers. He looks at me, but points at Customer #1 and his girlfriend.)

    Manager: “Is this them?”

    Me: “Yep.”

    Manager: “Look, do you want to explain to me why you’ve made my best worker late?”

    Customer #1: “What? He doesn’t actually work here, does he?”

    Manager: “I don’t want to deal with this tonight. Take your girlfriend and leave. There’s no chance of you getting a table after all this. [Name], come inside and I’ll check the tapes later so I don’t have to mark you late.”

    (Customer #1 and his girlfriend are banned from the restaurant. Even better, Customer #2 ended up giving me a huge tip!)

    Related:
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 12
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 11
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 10
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 9
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 8
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 7
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 6
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 5

    Fast Food And Speed Dating

    | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Love/Romance

    Me: “Okay, you want a hamburger, hold the onions, with mustard and regular fries.”

    Customer: “That’s right.”

    Me: “Can I have a date?”

    Customer: “Oh no, you’re much too old for me.”

    Me: “A birth date. So we can call out your order. Like October 22nd?”

    (After the customer leaves, the owner turns to me.)

    Owner: “She could have at least lied and said she was already with someone.”


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