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  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Not In A Playful Mood

    | PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I work for a major toy company at the service desk, and received a call from an older woman.)

    Caller: “Could you transfer me to the toy department?”

    Me: Sure, ma’am, which department did you need?”

    Caller: “The toy department.”

    (We get several calls of this nature a week so I am used to it.)

    Me: “What can I help you with today?”

    Caller: “I’m looking for a Minnie Mouse doll that sings when you hold its hands.”

    Me: “Absolutely, ma’am. One moment while I look this up for you… It looks like my computer says I have a few in stock, but our inventory has been a bit off after the holidays so would you like me to run back and verify that we do in fact have it in stock?”

    Caller: “Yes, please.”

    (Knowing the floor person is at lunch I ask the electronics supervisor to watch the service desk while I go look for this item. I find it on the other end of the store then have to come all the way back up with this doll.)

    Me: “Thank you very much for holding, I do have that doll. Would you like me to put it on hold for you?”

    Caller: “No, I already have one and I really don’t like these dolls so I’m just going to return it.” *hangs up*

    Carried Away With The Carrier

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I work at a pet store where a donation bin is located at the entrance/exit. People can drop off pet food and toys into these bins to be picked up by an organization that distributes them among local shelters; all this is clearly written on the bin. I am working the register when a customer who just spent around $150 dollars on cat supplies mere seconds ago returns and inquires about the bin.)

    Customer: “Is that bin for donations?”

    Me: “It is.”

    Customer: “So could just take a few things? The kind of food my cat eats is there and I really like one of the carriers.”

    Me: “No, sorry, everything there is going to a shelter.”

    Customer: “Oh… well, I mean, if you’re giving it all away anyway, why can’t I just take a few things?”

    Me: “Because everything in that bin is for local shelters. We can’t give it to anyone else.”

    Customer: “Can’t you make an exception? I really like that carrier.”

    Me: “Sorry, I can’t let anyone but the [Collection Agency] take anything from that bin.”

    Customer: *annoyed and raising her voice a bit* “What difference does it make if I take a few things? Either way it’s going to an animal! You just want me to have to spend more money here!”

    Me: *speaking calmly despite my annoyance* “I’m sorry, but those items are not mine to give. People drop them off to go to shelters, so until [Collection Agency] picks them up they must remain in the bin.”

    Customer: “What’s a shelter gonna need with a fancy carrier like that, anyway?!”

    Me: “Shelters often have to transport their animals for vet trips and adoption events. Granted, not many people donate carriers, but that’s all the more reason that such a donation would be appreciated. I can’t give anything from that bin away.”

    Customer: *suddenly speaking softly and dejectedly, probably in an attempt to gain sympathy* “But it’s the holidays…”

    Me: “Yes, and shelters really need these items.”

    Customer: “Fine!” *storms out*

    Not Too Chicken To Confront About The Chicken

    , | Lethbridge, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I’m ordering on a busy day at a popular sandwich chain.)

    Me: “I’ll have the egg and cheese, please.”

    (The worker puts an egg patty on my sandwich.)

    Lady Behind Me: “Ew! Gross! What is that? WHY would you EAT that?”

    Me: “Oh, it’s just an egg patty. They’re pretty tasty, actually.”

    Lady Behind Me: *grumbles* “Gross.”

    (I don’t think anything more of her until it is her time to order.)

    Lady Behind Me: “Now, I want a chicken sandwich. But not that chicken. That chicken looks too pink. Do you have anything fresher and more well-cooked?”

    Worker: “No, sorry, that’s the only chicken we have.”

    Lady Behind Me: “FINE. But if I get food poisoning I’m coming back to sue you PERSONALLY. Now, I want two and a half slices of cheese on the bottom of my sandwich.”

    (The worker starts putting cheese on.)

    Lady Behind Me: “I said on the bottom!” *now screaming* “ON. THE. BOTTOM. HOW IS THAT SO HARD?!”

    (I am now biting my tongue, despite being pretty shy about speaking to strangers. The worker moves the lady’s sandwich to the vegetables section.)

    Lady Behind Me: “I want some shredded lettuce.”

    (The worker puts a handful of lettuce on.)

    Lady Behind Me: “More.”

    (The worker adds another handful.)

    Lady Behind Me: Less.

    (The worker takes some off.)

    Lady Behind Me: “More.”

    Me: “OH, MY GOD. Go home and make your own f****** sandwich! There’s a grocery store next door. Go buy your own cheese and your own chicken and your own stupid lettuce and quit harassing the employees! As a bonus, you won’t have to look at ‘gross’ food like mine!”

    (The customers who had been stuck behind her applaud slowly. The lady turns beet red and storms out, leaving her sandwich. The next customer points at me.)

    Next Customer: “I’d like to pay for her sandwich, please!”

    Trying To Drive The Job Away

    | Frederick, MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Geography

    (I work for a health insurance company.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name].”

    Caller: “Hi, I was just cut off by a bus on the highway and I demand you fire the driver!”

    Me: “I’m not sure that I can help you with that.”

    Caller: “The bus had your company’s logo on the side of it. Fire the driver!”

    Me: “Where are you?”

    Caller: “Miami. Aren’t you?”

    Me: “No, I’m in Maryland, and I’m sure the bus just had an ad for our product on it. We wouldn’t own the bus.”

    Caller: “Well, transfer me to someone who can fire the bus driver.”

    Way To Burst Her Bubble

    , | PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I work in online customer service. I am on the phone with a customer inquiring about our personalized bubble sets.)

    Customer: “So. what do the bubbles look like?”

    Me: “Well, we have them in bottles shaped like wands, bells, the champagne bottles, etc.”

    Customer: “Yeah, but what are the bubbles shaped like?”

    Me: “Ma’am, they’re bubble shaped.”

    Customer: “But the website says bell shaped.”

    Me: “Yes, that means the bottle is shaped like a bell. The bubbles are bubble shaped.”

    Customer: “But I want them shaped like bells.”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s impossible to make the bubbles shaped like bells. They can only be bubble shaped.”

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