Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Your Card Is A Smoking Gun

| OK, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

(I am a cashier at a local convenience store. Normally, I am very sweet and friendly, but today I am having a bad day. Not only did I have a full truck of inventory to check in and put away, but I also have three sections of the store to reset. A man comes in in the midst of the chaos and grabs a few bags of chips, some sandwiches, and several sodas. He goes to the register clearly marked as closed, moves all of my paperwork over, and continues to talk on his cell phone. I smile anyway, taking all of his items and moving them to the open register.)

Me: “Can I get you anything else?”

Customer: *silence*

(I ring up all of his food and place it neatly in bags.)

Me: “That’ll be $12.36.”

(The customer reaches into his pocket and pulls out a food stamp card. It looks as if it has been melted. Half is missing.)

Customer: “It won’t read, so you have to punch in the numbers. The first ones are-”

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but I cannot legally accept damaged cards.”

Customer: “They do it all the time at the other store.”

(When I refuse again, he becomes visibly upset.)

Customer: “Fine, just give me some smokes.”

(It is store policy to ask anyone who looks under 40 for their state ID when buying tobacco or alcohol. It must be not be damaged or expired.)

Customer: *hands me the id*

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but your ID expired in 2011. Do you have another?”

Customer: “THIS IS F****** RIDICULOUS! I’LL JUST GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!” *storming towards the door* “I’m thirty-f******-two years old and—”

Me: “Than act like it, sir. Your tobacco is not worth my job.” *smiling as sweetly as ever* “Have a nice day, sir. Stay safe today.”

A Receipt Defeat

| Whitehorse, YK, Canada | Crazy Requests, Transportation

Customer: “Hey, you wouldn’t happen to remember me, would you?”

Me: “No, I can’t say that I do.”

Customer: “Well, I bought a car battery off you a couple of months ago and I was just wondering if you remembered me.”

Me: “No, I don’t remember you.”

Customer: “I was hoping you would remember me buying a battery from you. It wasn’t that long ago.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but I don’t remember you at all. Why is it important that I remember selling a battery to you?”

Customer: “I want to bring a battery back and get a new one under warranty”

Me: “All you need to bring a battery back under warranty is the original receipt. You don’t need to find the same person that sold you the battery.”

Customer: “That’s the thing; I can’t find the receipt so I was hoping you could vouch for me buying the battery from you so I could exchange the battery.”

Me: “Even if I remembered you, you still need the original receipt and paperwork with the serial number and warranty program number on it.”

Customer: “So there’s no way to get an exchange on a battery without the receipt even if you remember me?”

Me: “Yes.Even if I remembered you, you still need the receipt.”

Customer: “Do you guys keep a copy of the receipt anywhere?”

Me: “No, sir, we give you the receipt.”

Customer: “Wow, that sucks.”

Needs To See The Doctor For Their Stupidity

, | USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I work in a call center that mainly serves as an after-hours line for local hospitals and clinics. Routine questions revealed this particular caller to be a pregnant teenager and someone who speaks English as a first language.)

Me: “Good evening. How may I help you?”

Patient: *using the most arrogant and condescending tone imaginable* “I need to speak to a doctor, right now!”

Me: “Miss, are you currently experiencing an emergency? Bleeding, difficulty breathing—”

Patient: “No, no, but this is really important!”

Me: “Would you like me to take a message?”

Patient: “NO! I said I need to talk to a DOCTOR, NOW!”

(The doctor’s line is reserved for emergencies only. Nonetheless, I continue politely.)

Me: “What seems to be the nature of the problem, miss?”

Patient: “The doctor gave me these prenatal vitamins, and I need them to tell me how much I should take!”

Me: “…You mean the dosage instructions printed on the side of the bottle?”

Driving Directionless

| CT, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Transportation

(We have tricky pumps and constantly have.to explain to people how to use them…)

Customer: “The f****** pumps are not working!”

Me: “You have to push in the nozzle all the way.”

Customer: “I f****** did that. Can’t you just come and f****** help me?”

Me: “I’m busy right now; I’ll be outside in two minutes.”

(I wait two minutes and go outside and try pushing the nozzle all the way in and it doesn’t work… so I read the display screen.)

Me: “Sir, it says you need to lower the lever.”

Customer: “Well, at every other gas station you lift it up!”

Me: *slams down lever* “Well, at this gas station we follow directions.”

All Dressed Up With Nothing To Wear

| Austria | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I work at a store that is part of a large shopping centre. An energy drink company is having a promotion in the centre, letting men in neon-green full body suits hand out flyers. Their face and head is covered, too. It’s deep winter. I work the checkout-counter at our store, when one of the neon-green men comes up with a heap of clothing. His face is still covered.)

Customer: “Do you work until closing time today?”

Me: “Um, yeah. Why?”

Customer: “I don’t know where to put this stuff while I am working, so I wondered if you would keep them for me and bring them out when you are done.”

Me: “Don’t you have a room where you keep your regular clothes and stuff?”

Customer: “No, I came from home dressed like this, and it was freezing. That’s why I am buying some clothes now.”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “All right. I have to clear that with my manager, but I’ll be out by 19:30.”

(The manager agreed to this, laughing. When I came out he was waiting, still in full costume, at the employee door, thanked me profusely, and disappeared into a men’s room nearby. I never saw him again.)

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