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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Not A Well-Rounded Response

    | Sweden | Crazy Requests

    (I work as an HVAC tech, and am sent to a customer’s house to condemn his 25-year-old heat pump as ‘beyond repair.’ He phones up the dispatcher after receiving the bill.)

    Customer: “So, I had a tech here a while ago and got the bill today and you’re billing me for a whole hour.”

    Dispatcher: “Yes, that is our minimum fee for a call.”

    Customer: “He was here fifteen minutes at most. I see no reason that I should pay for a whole hour!”

    Dispatcher: “Well, fifteen minutes to drive from our company to your place, fifteen minutes there, fifteen minutes back. That makes forty-five minutes, and we round upwards so that’s still an hour.”

    Customer: “What? That distance takes ten minutes, tops. I’ve driven between your company and here many times.”

    Dispatcher: “So that’s still thirty-five minutes, and we still round upwards so that’s still an hour and our minimum fee is still for one hour.”

    Customer: “That’s outrageous! When I had my own company I could never do that sort of thing.”

    Dispatcher: “Well, you won’t get anywhere with me. I can transfer you to the owner if you like?”

    Customer: “Yes, do exactly that!”

    (The dispatcher puts him on hold, walks into the owner’s office, and gives him a quick run-down on the situation.)

    Owner: “Hi, this is [Owner]. Is there some trouble?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I had one of your techs at my house and it took him just fifteen minutes here and you’re billing me for a full hour!”

    Owner: “Well, as [Dispatcher] told you our minimum fee is for one hour and we also round upwards to the nearest half hour, so the bill is completely correct.”

    Customer: “That’s outrageous! I never did that when I had my company.”

    Owner: “What kind of company did you have?”

    Customer: “I was an estate agent.”

    Owner: “An estate agent? The kind of person who drives around in brand new BMWs and Mercedes? Who bill you for just picking up the phone?”

    Customer: “You’re the worst person I’ve spoken to in my entire life!” *click*

    Only Generating Contempt

    | UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work for an IT company that provides 24 hour support for several big buildings. As you can imagine it gets very quiet at night with a lot of down time. The only problem is that the calls come from customers who, putting it kindly, don’t have social skills. I received a call around three am.)

    Me: “Welcome to [Company] support desk. You are speaking to [My Name]. How can I help you this morning?”

    Customer: “Hi, this is [Location]. None of our computers are working, our servers are all down, and our phone lines. Everything is down and we need it back up and running in the next ten minutes or I will be forced to have you fired.”

    Me: *concerned and shocked* “How many computers are affected and how many phones are affected?”

    Customer: “ALL OF THEM. About fifty computers and the same amount of phones are not working. You have nine and a half minutes to get it working.”

    Me: *now disinterested* “How many people are working in the building right now?”

    Customer: “There is me, two security guards, and a couple of men replacing the generators. That’s nine minutes.”

    Me: “Sir, silly question but I have to ask this but has the power been turned off to the building by the engineers working on site?”

    (The customer started breathing heavily down the phone, leaving the building and walking outside. I could hear the customer start shouting to the engineer to turn on the power while using a curse word every chance he could. I could hear in the distance the workmen stop what they were doing, obvious not liking being called offensive names, and start chasing after the man down the street. The man while out of breath asked for me to call the cops as his life was in danger. I hung up and went back to sleep.)

    Automated And Medicated

    | LA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

    (We are the busiest pharmacy in the area, and this day is no exception. To make matters worse, we are short-staffed and our delivery truck is several hours late. I am running the drive-thru at about 6 pm, which is about 10 cars deep.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m here to pick up a prescription for [Name].”

    Me: “It looks like we were out of stock of that medication, but let me check to see if it arrived on the truck.”

    (I check the delivery record and we did receive the medication. However, because none of the boxes are put up, and it is the middle of the evening rush, we won’t be able to fill the order for a few hours.)

    Me: “Ma’am, we did receive the medication on the truck, but we haven’t had a chance to unload the boxes yet, so if you would like to check back this evening…”

    Customer: “I was told it would be ready this afternoon!”

    Me: “I apologize, ma’am. Normally we would have it ready then but our truck just arrived less than an hour ago and we haven’t been able to put away the medication yet.”

    Customer: “Well, someone should have called me to tell me it wasn’t ready! I drove all the way from [20 minutes away] to get my medicine and it’s not even ready!”

    Me: “Are you signed up for our automated calls and text messages?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “…and you got a call or text telling you your prescription was ready?”

    Customer: “Well… no…”

    Me: “…”

    (The customer gave me a dirty look as she angrily drove away.)

    Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 2

    | Victoria, BC, Canada | Crazy Requests

    (I answer the phone on a busy day.)

    Me: “Hello, [Bookstore]. How may I help you?

    Customer: “Hello. Can you tell me if [Competitor] has [Book]?”

    Me: “Er… well, I don’t know about [Competitor] but I can tell you that our store has it in stock.”

    Customer: “You’re downtown, aren’t you?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Well that won’t do. I’m not going downtown; I live much closer to [Competitor]. Find out if they have it!”

    (If she managed to find our phone number, how hard would it have been to find their number?!)

    Related:
    Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer

    That Pizza Was All Greek To Me

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Hi, my pizza was just delivered and it was entirely incorrect. I just gave it back to the driver and he gave my money back. But I’d like to get my correct pizza.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. Well it looks here like you ordered the Greek pizza—”

    Customer: “Yeah, but the one I got had tomatoes and black olives, and green peppers, I think…”

    Me: “And red sauce and onions and feta cheese?”

    Customer: “Yeah!”

    Me: “Yeah, that’s the Greek pizza. You got exactly what you ordered.”

    Customer: “What? Well my friend just ordered from you last week and he said he got the Greek, but it was different. It had gyro meat on it and it got served with tzatziki sauce.”

    Me: “Oh, your friend must have ordered our Santorini pizza. I can go ahead and change your order here and send you the right one. It costs the same price.”

    Customer: “Uh… that’s it? I don’t get a discount or anything?”

    Me: “Well… no. I mean… it’s your friend’s fault that he told you the wrong pizza. But you got exactly what you told us you wanted. We don’t give discounts for people who neglect to read our menu before ordering.”

    Customer: “Oh. Okay. That’s fair, I guess.”

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