• The Medium Suddenly Felt Very Small
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  • May Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    No End To The Weekends

    | CA, USA | Crazy Requests

    Customer: “Hello! Please, we would like to come to your play this weekend and we see that it sold out. We have waited all year and this is the only weekend we can get out of all the madness in our lives. Please, please, please, any chance we can get tickets? I’ll bake and bring cookies! Scream! Please?!”

    Me: “We had a couple cancellations on Friday, so I can actually get you in at 11 pm. We really like cookies.”

    Customer: “We were actually hoping for Sunday.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t have a show on Sunday. Let me know if you want the tickets for 11 pm on Friday.”

    Customer: “What about 9 pm on Saturday?”

    Me: “We are completely sold out on Saturday. Do you want the tickets for 11 pm on Friday?”

    Customer: “We actually can’t do Friday, so we’ll just come next weekend.”

    Just Crossed The Online Line

    | NS, Canada | Crazy Requests, Technology, Wild & Unruly

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Retail Company]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: *happy* “Hi there! Ugh, I ended up ordering the wrong thing online. Silly me; should have been paying more attention. Can I return this?”

    Me: “Yah! Sure, no problem. Can I get the order number from you?”

    Customer: “Of course!” *reads it off*

    Me: “Perfect. Just one second. I’m sorry; my system shut off on me. We have an online return option. Would you like me to walk you through the steps? It’s really simple. If not just give me. like. 60 seconds to bring my system back up and I would be more than happy to do the return for you.”

    Customer: “YOU WANT ME TO DO IT ONLINE?! YOU DON’T WANT TO HELP?! FINE!” *hangs-up*

    Getting Crazier Organ(ically)

    | Willow Grove, PA, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “[Bookstore]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Hello, do you have any books about dogs?”

    Me: “Yes, we have an extensive section all about pets.”

    Caller: “Dog spleens?”

    Me: “Um, we have a smaller section of veterinarian books, but—”

    Caller: “COOKING dog spleens?”

    Me: “Uh…”

    (The caller finally broke into laughter in his own voice, revealing himself to be my boyfriend in one of his weird moods.)

    Realized He’s Nuts Before You Did

    | NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I am the customer in this case and can only blame it on the fact that I hadn’t had any coffee yet!)

    Waiter: “And what would you like, ma’am?”

    Me: “Um, the granola; does it come with yogurt?” *points at meal description that has ‘YOGURT’ at the top of the list*

    Waiter: “Yes.”

    Me: “Oh, okay. And the toasted coconut… would I be able to get this without the coconut?”

    (I see the incredulous look on the waiter’s face. I’m basically asking him to go through mixed granola and pick out coconut shreds by hand, and try to save face…)

    Me: “…or would that be a tall order?”

    Waiter: “Yes, ma’am.  That would be a VERY tall order.”

    No Longer Feeling Sunny Side Up

    | Australia | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I am taking out food to customers I haven’t yet served, and am putting down the final meal.)

    Me: “Okay, I have the fried eggs with bacon here?”

    Customer: “Oh, no, that’s not what I wanted. You’ll have to take it back; I wanted the eggs cooked on both sides.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; I’ll go and get these redone.”

    (I go back to kitchen, reorder the eggs and double check the docket. It has fried ordered, not easy-over as requested.)

    Me: *taking new serving back* “Sorry about that. The docket had fried down so your waitress must have misheard.”

    Customer: “Oh, no, I said fried, but I wanted them easy over; she should’ve known that.”

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