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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Can’t Barrel Out Of There

    | CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (I work as a manager and beer department head at a local liquor store that sells kegs of beer.)

    Customer: “Excuse me; I need to order a keg of Corona.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but Corona, unfortunately, doesn’t make kegs.”

    Customer: “What’re you talking about? I ordered one last week!”

    Me: *trying not to get agitated* “Sir, I’m sorry, but like I said, Corona doesn’t make kegs. It’s impossible for me to get you a keg of Corona.”

    Customer: “This is bull-s***! The beer guy here got one for me last week!”

    Me: “Actually, I run the beer department at this store, and I have for the last few months. I can give you a list of all the kegs we can get you.”

    Customer: “QUIT BACK-TALKING ME! I want to see your manager, and I want to see him now!”

    Me: “Okay, not a problem.”

    (I turn around on the spot, making a 360 turn.)

    Me: “Hello, I’m the manager. What can I help you with?”

    Customer: *glares at me before walking out in a rage*

    I Pretend To Work If You Pretend To Pay Me

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Money

    Customer: “My taxes pay your salary so you are paid to take my crap.”

    Me: “First of all, sir, until it says ‘Sanitation Dept’ on my paycheck I’m not paid to take anyone’s crap.”

    Customer: “Well, my taxes pay your salary.”

    (I lay a printout of his registration fees in front of him.)

    Me: “You see that $32 fee? That fee is what pays my salary. I’ve only been working here for six months. Since you haven’t paid any registration fees for the past three years you haven’t paid any part of my salary.”

    (After a couple of minutes of whining he finally pays the all the fees to bring his registration current.)

    Me: *as I hand him his sticker and registration* “Thank you, sir… Now that that is cleared up… How about giving me a raise?”

    Her Request Is A Bit Of A Squeeze

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I worked for a grocery store in a town with two major universities. The encounters with the student customers are always entertaining.)

    Customer: “I’m looking for fresh squeezed orange juice.”

    Me: “Yes, of course. We have a few options between the [Popular Brand] brand and our store brand…”

    Customer: “No, you don’t understand. I need orange juice that was freshly squeezed today.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t carry anything like that here. We are just a grocery store.”

    Customer: “Well, do you think you could go in the back and squeeze some for me?”

    Me: “I apologize, but that just isn’t how it works. The best I can do is recommend the [Popular Brand]. It really is the best, freshest orange juice we carry.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m not a Nazi or anything, but I refuse to drink anything that has been pasteurized.”

    (I notice at this point that she has a gallon of milk in her basket…)

    Me: “I’m sorry I can’t help you with this, but I can at least let you know that we do carry fresh oranges in our produce department.”

    Customer: “Wait, you mean you expect me to squeeze my OWN orange juice?!”

    Dying For A Discount

    | IN, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (An elderly lady comes up to my register with a full cart and automatically starts complaining about how much stuff she has, like that is anyone else’s fault but her own.. She is one of those lovely customers who puts one item on the counter at a time for me to scan, and complains the whole long while. I know she’s going to have a problem with her total, so I just go ahead and apply the senior discount without her asking; policy is for the customer to ask. After she complains about the total and I let her know how much I saved her, she says:)

    Customer: “Honey, could you do any better than that?”

    Me: “No, that’s the best discount I can give you this week.”

    Customer: “Are you sure? This is just an awfully high total.”

    Me: “Yeah, that’s the best I can do.”

    Customer: “Oh, well, I just don’t like that total. And anyway, my doctor says I’m going to die soon, maybe tomorrow, and won’t be able to use all of this anyway, so is there anything else you can do?”

    Me: “…We can put some of your items back?”

    Buying A Drive At The Drive-Thru

    , | Olathe, KS, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (It is my first night working the drive-thru by myself on the side we lovingly call ‘The Hole,’ due to how removed it is from the rest of the store, as well as the fact that it is freaking cold in winter.)

    Me: *chipper* “Hello and welcome to [Restaurant]. How may I take your order?”

    Customer: *rambles off order* “Oh, and, uh, could I get the green ’96 Plymouth Breeze?”

    Me: *confused* “…I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

    Customer: *serious tone* “There’s a green ‘96 Plymouth Breeze out here and I was hoping I could pay for it here.”

    Me: *still slightly confused* “I don’t know anything about that, sir. Can I still get you your food?”

    Customer: *sighs* “Yeah, I guess.”

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