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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Playing The Roll Of The Manager

    | Branson, MO, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I have a project due that requires me to dress up really nicely and give a presentation. It goes very well, so my husband decides to take me out to lunch right after the class. I am still dressed up really nicely. The entire time my husband and I have sat at the table, an older man keeps looking at me and shuffling in his seat but I ignore it. I get up to go to the bathroom and when I come out, I find him standing outside the ladies’ room.)

    Old Man: *still doing a little shuffle* “You’re out of toilet paper.”

    Me: “What?”

    Old Man: *getting upset* “You’re out of toilet paper in the men’s room!”

    Me: “Uh… I don’t work here. You should find an employee.”

    Old Man: *getting more upset* “But you look like you’re the manager! You sure you can’t get some toilet paper in there? I have to go, but I didn’t want to interrupt your break. But, I really have to go and I shouldn’t have to wait on you to do my business!”

    Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but I really don’t work here. I just had a big presentation at school today. Again, find an employee and I’m sure they’ll help you.”

    Old Man: “BUT YOU LOOK LIKE THE MANAGER!”

    (Finally after his outburst, the ACTUAL manager came over, asking what was going on. I explained my side and the old man blamed me for the lack of toilet paper! The real manager quickly replaced the toilet paper and even gave me and my husband a free appetizer on the house for our trouble. The old man glared at me throughout the rest of my meal, but hey, free appetizer!)

    Acting Like It’s The End Of The World

    | Cornelius, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

    Me: “Hi! How are you today?”

    Customer: “Three days ago the yarn was $1 and now it’s $3.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Why isn’t it $1?”

    Me: “Because it was on sale, but the sale ended yesterday.”

    Customer: *annoyed, hands on her hips* “Why did it do that?!”

    (I start laughing until I realize she’s dead serious. I quickly stop and look at her blankly.)

    Me: “Um… because that’s what sales do. They… end.”

    A Muddied Understanding

    | CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m the groomer at a veterinary hospital. I get paged to reception to answer a question.)

    Me: “Thanks for waiting. What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I was wondering if you offered mud baths?”

    Me: “Mud baths?”

    Customer: “Well, my dogs coat is so dry, and my skin is always so nice after one, so I was wondering if you gave mud baths to dogs?”

    Me: “Um, no. If I did I would just have to wash it all off right after, so it would be a bit counter productive. If the skin or coat is dry I would recommend a shampoo with oatmeal.”

    Customer: “Oh, that makes sense! Thanks for your time!” *walks out*

    Calling At All Stations To The 19th Century

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Religion, Top

    (I’m working in the deli section of my store part-time and studying computer science at a local university. Tomorrow I have an exam and it’s making it hard to concentrate at work, as the elderly woman I’m serving notices.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, young man. I said I wanted the smoked ham, not the honey ham.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that. I’m just a little distracted. Smoked ham coming right up.”

    Customer: “You really should pay closer attention to your work.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. I just have an exam tomorrow and it’s a little hard to concentrate.”

    Customer: “You look a little old to still be in high school.”

    Me: “I’m not in high school. I’m studying computer science at [University].”

    Customer: “[University]? Oh, no, no, no. That won’t do at all.”

    Me: *stopping slicing* “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Oh, honey, you need to leave that university right away. You’re not smart enough to go to college.”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Customer: “If you were, you wouldn’t be working here. Besides, God ordained you to be part of the servant class. The purpose of your life is to serve the good people, like me.”

    (My jaw is hanging open.)

    Customer: “You need to invest yourself totally in your work here. This is what people like you were meant for. You should never try to rise above your station. You’ll make God very angry.”

    Me: “…well. I’m just going to step away from my ‘station’ for a moment. [Coworker], could you give me a hand here? I really need to step out.”

    (I walked into the cooler, closed the door all the way, and didn’t come back until the customer had gone and I had calmed down.)

    Not So Sweet On The Sweet Chili

    | Australia | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I work at a popular sub shop that makes sandwiches in front of customers to their liking. I am serving a woman and everything is fine until we get to the last few steps.)

    Me: “And would you like any sauce on that?”

    Customer: “Just a little bit of sweet chilli, please.”

    (I put one thin line of sweet chilli sauce on her sub.)

    Customer: “No, that’s too much!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can wipe some off or remake your sandwich for you if you like.”

    Customer: “No! You should have listened to me to begin with! When I ask for a little bit, you don’t drown the thing in sauce! I have a f***ing stomach ulcer. That’s why I can’t have much! Just forget about it!”

    (The customer storms off, muttering about how stupid I am and how I ruined her sandwich. I turn to my coworker, who witnessed the entire ordeal.)

    Me: “If she has a stomach ulcer maybe she shouldn’t order it to begin with!”

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