July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Not The Cream Of The Crop, Part 3

| UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money

(On the particular day the dairy fridge has broken down AND we have quite a lot of stock with a ‘best before’ sticker for that day. So I decide to reduce all that stock lower than I usually would just to get rid of it.)

Customer: “I would like to speak to the manager, please.”

Me: “That would be me. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I bought this cream AND this cake today. I poured the cream over the cake for my family only to find it was off. So it ruined the cake. I want a refund for both.”

(She hands me a receipt which shows that both items had been reduced quite heavily. I apologize profusely while trying to explain that we were sure the dairy fridge breakdown didn’t damage anything.)

Me: “And that’s all done for you! Here is your refund of £1.”

(The customer holds the £1 coin in her hand and looks slightly confused.)

Customer: “I wanted a refund.”

Me: “…and I gave you one. According to the receipt you gave me you only paid £1 total for those products.”

Customer: “But it was bad. Surely you should give me a refund of the full price.”

Me: “Do you sell things on eBay?”

Customer: *taken aback* “How is that relevant?”

Me: “Indulge me.”

Customer: “Yes. I sold my husband’s PS3 last week.”

Me: “Okay, so let’s say I bought your husband’s PS3 for £100. But when I connected it to my TV it didn’t work and I insisted that I get a refund. Do I ask for the £100 I paid you or the £400 you probably bought it for?”

(Somehow this confused her even more. She decided I made a valid point and left the shop in an almost dream-like state. We never saw this customer again and we still don’t know to this day if she was attempting a scam, or just a little dim.)

Related:
Not The Cream Of The Crop, Part 2
Not The Cream Of The Crop

Multiple Call Back Attack

| Grove, OK, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(I’m the store manager of a lease-to-own business, so I know who my new employee is speaking with on the phone even though he has no idea. The customer, whom I have had dealings with for over six years, would throw fits and scream and cry while flailing about on the beds in our showroom if she didn’t get what she wanted. Previously she wanted me to force my employees to deliver an item to her that she wouldn’t pay for until she’d tested it out in her own house. I explained that we closed in just a few minutes and that I couldn’t allow that. I wasn’t pleased that she’d called back to try and do business again. My employee couldn’t help her to her satisfaction, so I had him transfer the call to me.)

Me: “Thank you for holding. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Oh, good. You know who I am. I need you to deliver an [electronic item] to my house.”

Me: “Ma’am, due to you not paying your last balance, I am unable to bring the item to you until that balance is taken care of.”

Caller: “You mean I still have to pay that?”

Me: “It’s policy, ma’am. The balance is much like that of a past due fee on library books or rental movies.”

Caller: “I knew it! You just don’t like me. Fine. I call [Competitor] instead.”

(At this point the false tears and the slurred speech begin and I am unable to understand what she’s babbling, but I won’t let her get to me… regardless of how much I may want to go off.)

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. Have a nice day.”

(I hang up and turn to my new employee:)

Employee: “What the heck was that? I could barely understand what she was saying to me.”

Me: “Trust me; you’d be used to it if you had to deal with her. She told me she was going to call—”

(I’m cut off due to the phone ringing. The caller ID shows that it’s the same customer. I (almost gleefully) answer the phone.)

Caller: “Thank goodness. I’m needing an [electronic item] delivered. I just called another place, but they seem to jack up their prices and they lie to all of their customers. They tried to cheat me!”

Me: “Ma’am…. I hope you realize that you’ve called me back. I’m afraid that none of what you’ve just told me was even discussed during our phone conversation. Somehow you’ve dialed the wrong number. Please, call [Competitor’s phone number] instead. Hopefully, they’ll take care of you in whatever way you desire.”

Caller: “…Okay. What was the number again?”

(I gave her the number and hung up. I called the other store and informed them of what had just happened. They told me that they won’t do business with her any longer either, mainly due to her antics and her bothering the other customers with her hysterics. While I was on the phone with the competitor’s store manager… she called them. Luckily, she hasn’t attempted to call back.)

A Professional Approach To Professional Photography

| ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

Customer: “I want to get these photos copied.”

Me: “Okay, I can copy these, but these ones here I can’t unfortunately, due to company copyright policy.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “This is a professional photo, so I can’t copy it without permission from the photographer.”

Customer: “Oh, no, you can copy it.”

Me: “I’m sorry; I can’t.”

Customer: “But one of the people in that picture is dead now!”

Me: “I’m really sorry about that, but our company’s copyright policy is actually pretty strict; it goes until 50 years after the death of the photographer. I honestly don’t feel comfortable copying professional photos until they are at least 65 years old.”

Customer: “Well, this photo is 65 years old.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but this picture isn’t that old. I can do these photos for you, though.”

(I go through the stack of pictures and find some school pictures, which I put aside.)

Me: “I can’t do these ones, though.”

Customer: “WHY NOT!”

Me: “Because these are also professional.”

Customer: “No! They’re school pictures!”

Me: “Yes, that would be professional.”

Customer: “But these people died in 1992!”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry about that, but that doesn’t mean I can copy the picture.”

Customer: “YES, IT DOES!”

Me: “Maybe you didn’t understand me earlier when I said—”

Customer: “YES, I DID UNDERSTAND YOU!”

Me: “Then why are you telling me this person died in 1992? That doesn’t change the fact that the photographer has to be dead for 50 years before I can copy it.”

Customer: “THE PHOTOGRAPHER IS DEAD!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t copy it.”

Customer: “Then why are you copying this one?” *points to a photo that looks like it was taken with a point and shoot*

Me: “Because it’s not professional.”

Customer: “Yes, it is! A photographer took that!”

Me: “Well, it didn’t look professional to me, but since you’ve told me that it is, I can’t copy it now.”

Customer: “WHAT?!”

Me: “I’m sorry.”

Customer: “NO! YOU CAN COPY IT!”

Me: “You JUST told me it was professional, after I JUST told you that I couldn’t copy professional photos.”

Customer: “I want to see a manager, then!”

Me: “Okay.”

(My manager proceeded to tell the customer EVERYTHING I had already said, and the customer yelled back at him everything he had yelled at me. He left in a huff.)

Laptop Flop, Part 7

| England, UK | Crazy Requests, Money, Technology

Me: “How can I help?”

Customer: “I need to buy a computer. I don’t want you to sell me insurance or anything else, just the computer.”

Me: “What will you be using it for?”

Customer: “I need to use ‘The Google,’ and some word processing. I’ve been told by my technical friend it needs two ‘tetrabites’ and at least eight ‘jiggabites.'”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “I think you mean terabytes and gigabytes.”

Customer: “Yes, I am well aware of what I need.”

Me: “For the things you are using it for, I don’t think you will need those specifications. You might end up spending a lot of money and not make full advantage of the machine. You could get a cheaper machine and spend more money on attachments.”

Customer: “No, I know what I need; my friend told me.”

Me: *politely* “Is your friend a technician?”

Customer: “No, he’s a decorator.”

Me: “Right.” *shows customer to a computer that matches her specifications, priced £899*

Customer: “That’s too expensive. I was hoping to spend £150 – £200.”

Me: “We have nothing that cheap. The lowest priced and most basic laptops start at £350.”

(The customer walked off, whilst muttering how customer service was terrible.)

Related:
Laptop Flop, Part 6
Laptop Flop, Part 5
Laptop Flop, Part 4

Don’t Rattle Her Cage

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(I work as a receptionist at a dog groomer’s and due to past experiences, I’ve always been on the shyer side, but after a year, I’ve been getting better with dealing with the customers. This has been the fifth day of working in a row and we’re about an hour and a half away from closing. A client walks in to pick up her dog.)

Me: “Hi! You’re here to pick up [Dog]?”

Client: “Yes, how was he?”

(I ring up her total and give her her change.)

Me: “He’s a very good boy. I’ll go get him.”

(I take him out of the cage where he’s sitting and grab his leash and collar. As I open the door to walk him back out to the office, I hear her talking, albeit rather rudely, to my coworker who bathed him.)

Client: “I CANNOT believe he was in a cage this whole time! He was here for about an hour or two!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, he wasn’t in the cage for long.”

Client: “I don’t care! He doesn’t belong in a cage! My dog is the best dog! He doesn’t bark or jump. He’s definitely not like any of these other dogs.”

(She was referring to the four dogs who were still here for daycare who were relaxing in the grooming room. They jumped when I walked past them, because they were excited.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we didn’t know that he wasn’t supposed to be in a cage. No one told us.”

Client: “Well, I didn’t even know that you had cages here! That’s the reason why I was coming here because I didn’t like him in a cage. I didn’t even think that that was an option! I’m not going to stop coming here, but I would like it if he wasn’t in a cage.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but no one told us that he wasn’t allowed in one. Usually, to dry faster, bath dogs are in cages with the dryer so they don’t get dirty running around on the floor.”

Client: “Well, I don’t want him in one anymore. I can’t believe you put him in one.”

Me: “I understand that, but we didn’t know about today and we are terribly sorry. Here, let me put a note in the system about that.”

(I go to do so and she follows me with the dog.)

Client: “Make sure you put it in under my name!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I’m doing that right now.”

Me: “I’m sorry again for that. The note’s in now.”

Client: “It’s fine! I just don’t want it to happen again.”

(She leaves in a huff with the dog wagging his tail and my coworker leaves while another comes up from daycare.)

Coworker #2: “You should’ve told her that he kept trying to get to the front almost every time.”

Me: “That would’ve sparked another b**** fit with the result of me crying.”

Coworker #2: “Well, if she comes back next time and the dog escapes the store whose fault is that? We’re not allowed to cage him anymore. That’s on her, not us.”

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