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  • July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Shuttling Away The Bad Customers

    | WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

    (When my brother comes to visit, the airline company loses his bag temporarily, and promises to call us when it comes in. A day later it arrives, so my brother and I drive down to the airport to pick it up. I wait in my idling van while my brother runs in to grab his bag. After a few minutes, I hear someone open the trunk and glance in the rearview mirror, only to see a woman I don’t recognize loading her bags into my trunk. I turn off the car and get out.)

    Me: “Um, ma’am, I think you have the wrong…”

    Woman: “I need to get to the [Hotel] and fast. I have a business lunch to attend, and need to sign in and freshen up.”

    Me: “Well, I’m not a driver, and I’m just waiting for my brother. Maybe you should—”

    Woman: “WELL, he is just going to just have to wait, isn’t he? I am a paying customer, and I expect you to do your job and take me where I need to go.”

    (At this point I realize that she thinks I am a shuttle driver, which is ridiculous as all of the hotel shuttles have the hotel logo plastered on the side of their shuttles. As it is obvious that she isn’t going to listen, I decide to take a different approach.)

    Me: “Well, okay, but given that you didn’t schedule ahead, I have my rush-service fee, plus a roaming service fee as the [Hotel] is outside of my usual area, plus gas and lost business fees, so that will be $300 dollars up front.”

    Woman: “What? No, you have to take me for free!”

    Me: “No, that is the hotel shuttle, which would have to word [Hotel] on the side. I am a for-profit shuttle only, and if you want me to take you now, it will cost $300.”

    Woman: “Well, I’m going to report you!”

    (She then proceeds to pull her bag out of my trunk and storm off. My brother, who arrived towards the end of the debate, grins before stepping forward and putting his own bag in the trunk.)

    Brother: “I don’t have $300, but do you accept IOUs?”

    Me: “I’ll give you the family discount. You have to cook tonight.”

    Brother: “Deal!”

    Always Have To Go When You Have To Go

    | UK | Crazy Requests

    Me: *speaking over screeching fire alarms* “We’re evacuating the building immediately… Let me show you to the fire exit.”

    Customer: “Do I have time to use the toilet?”

    Maybe He Needed Socks For The Office

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (I work at a counter right inside the entrance of an office supply store. One day, I see a man in a suit hurrying into the store. He looks panicked.)

    Me: “Hello! What can I help—”

    Customer: *looking frantically at nearby displays* “Do you guys sell socks!?”

    Me: “Er… no, we sell office supplies.”

    Customer: “You’re SURE?!”

    Me: “I’m sure.”

    Customer: “Do you know if [Store Next Door] sells socks?”

    Me: “It’s a better possibility than an office supply store selling them!”

    (He turned around and hurried out of the store, headed for our neighbor.)

    Not A Grain Of Sense

    | DE, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (An obviously drunk customer wanders into my fragrance shop in the local farmers’ market.)

    Customer: “Do you sell grain alcohol in here?”

    Me: “No, sir, but there is a liquor store and a pharmacy across the street.”

    Customer: “Does anyone sell grain alcohol in here?”

    Me: “No, sir. It is only legal to sell that product in drugstores or liquor stores in this state.”

    (I’m trying hard to convince myself that the man needs it for his child’s science experiment, or to fuel a bottle rocket. He is peering woozily at my shelves full of fragrances for men and women.)

    Customer: “Can you drink any of this stuff?”

    Turning Into A Boating Disaster

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money

    (I work at a Japanese restaurant, and we do take-outs.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to order some takeout, please.”

    Me: “Sure! Please take a seat and fill out our takeout menu form, sir.”

    (A couple minutes later, the customer approaches me.)

    Me: “Hi, ready to order?”

    Customer: “Actually, no. It says here on the menu that you guys sell sushi boats for takeout?”

    Me: “Yes, we certainly do.”

    Customer: “Does it come with the wooden boat?”

    Me: “Unfortunately, since this is a takeout order, the love boat order will be packed in a large plastic tray.”

    Customer: “Oh, d***. The only reason I would ever order that is if it came with the boat!”

    (The customer places his order, and says he’ll be back in 20 minutes to pick it up. He comes back 10 minutes later.)

    Customer: “Is my order ready yet?”

    Me: “It should be about 10 more minutes. Sorry about that. Would you like a water or hot tea to drink while you wait?”

    Customer: “No! Actually, do you know where I can buy alcohol at this time?”

    Me: “Unfortunately, I am not of legal drinking age yet so I wouldn’t know.”

    Customer: “Does that mean I get a discount on my food?”

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