Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,241 thumbs up)
  • Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Giving You An Earful Over The Ears

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

    (For those that don’t know, LARP is Live Action Roleplay. We sell a lot of realistic looking weapons that are safe to hit people with, but are actually foam. Some are historically based, others are pure fantasy. We are at a convention.  I’m helping another customer when a guy on the other end of the table starts getting agitated by something.)

    Customer: “No, these aren’t right at all.”

    Me: “Sorry, I’ll be with you in a minute.”

    Customer: “They’re just not accurate.”

    (Finishing with the other customer, I move over.)

    Me: “Well, it’s LARP, not re-enactment, so some of our weapons won’t be historically accurate. In fact, many are outright fantasy weapons that would have been amazingly impractical for real use.”

    Customer: “Not the weapons, idiot! These!”

    (The customer holds up a pair of prosthetic elf ears.)

    Customer: “Moon Elves’ ears DON’T look like THIS.”

    Me: “Uh… I’m pretty sure with elves being fantasy they can look like whatever the designer wanted them to, so long as they’re kinda pointy at the end.”

    Customer: “BUT THEY’RE NOT ACCURATE!”

    Demands Are Reaching Breaking Point

    | Hartford, CT, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays

    (It is Thanksgiving night and our store has been open for about four hours already. It’s been very busy and we have a much larger than normal team to oversee. A woman has approaches my coworker, asking about a certain item.)

    Coworker: “Well, I’m not sure. Let me find someone to ask.”

    (He calls on his walkie for that section and gets no response. I happen to be walking by when he stops me and asks if I know.)

    Me: “Sorry, I really don’t know at all. Who’s here right now?”

    (The guest meanders off a few feet looking at another display. We look at the schedule trying to find who is here and not on break since we all came in around the same time and by law need a 30-minute non-paid break.)

    Customer: “I just don’t understand what is taking so long. Why is it so d*** hard to find someone? Why can’t anyone just get this item for me?”

    (As this goes on my coworker is trying to get someone to answer on the walkie.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. But we can’t leave the front end because of how busy we are. If you can give me just a moment, please. I need to check the schedule before I can call someone. We’re just trying to find out who is here and not on break right now.”

    Customer: “Well why would they be on break?”

    Me: “We all came in around the same time to open the store tonight and we have to stagger our breaks, so I just need a moment to find out who is on the floor right now.”

    Customer: “I just don’t understand why the hell anyone would be on break! They’re here to work! Not to take a break! They need to get back to work! This is bad business!”

    Me: “Do you take a break at work?”

    Customer: *scoffs* “Well, of COURSE I do!”

    Me: “Then wouldn’t you think we should get a break, too?”

    Customer: “No! Not tonight! This is different! Why is no one able to help me!”

    (By some miracle, God smiles down on me and someone from a nearby section answers on the walkie and says to send the guest down.)

    Customer: “Finally! This shouldn’t have taken so f****** long! I’ll be calling corporate!”

    Me: “You do that. Happy Thanksgiving!”

    Hoping For Some Generational Knowledge

    | ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (I work at the only department store in my city, which is very busy and well known. My mom often comes in to pick me up, so the staff all know who she is. I work at customer service, so many people know to ask me for help, and even if I’m not working if they are polite I help them. As I go to the back and see my mother waiting, I notice a lady approach her.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, where can I find [item]?”

    Mom: “I think they’re over there. I’m not really sure.”

    Customer: “Well your daughter works here. You should know!”

    (The lady storms off and I approach.)

    Me: “Did she just…?”

    Mom: “She did, and you want to know the worst part? That’s got to be the third time this week.”

    Making An Amendment To The Amendment

    | SC, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Politics

    (A customer has called in to complain about being assessed a paper statement fee, which we recently implemented. I explained to her multiple times how to enroll in online statements in order to waive the fee, which she feels she shouldn’t have to do.)

    Customer: “I shouldn’t have to do that. This is my money and it is unconstitutional to charge these fees.”

    Me: “Ma’am, these fees are not unconstitutional. We have a team of lawyers who check all of our policies and fees before they are implemented specifically for legality.”

    Customer: “I’m telling you. These fees are unconstitutional and violate my Second Amendment rights!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you do realize that the Second Amendment allows you the right to bear arms and own a gun, don’t you?”

    (Pause…)

    Customer: “Well these fees are still unconstitutional. And wrong. I want to speak to a supervisor!”

    Needs To Wake Up And Smell The Roses

    | Mexico | Crazy Requests

    (A customer enters the flower shop with roses in his hands.)

    Customer: “Hi. Can you make me a floral arrangement? I already bought the roses.”

    Me: “Yes. It is going to cost $20.”

    Customer: “Wait! Do I have to pay you?!”

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