Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

A Little Extra Goes A Long Way

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(Customers are often upset by the turnaround time we quote — up to two weeks during the busiest season. They almost always point out how easy or quick their repair should be. As we are standing within the repair area, it is easy enough to point at all the bikes all over and explain that all these people were here first. On occasion, a customer would drop this one on me:)

Customer: “Well, how about I pay you extra, and you skip me ahead of all those people to the front of the line and you do my repair right now?”

Me: “That sounds great, but first let me call all the people ahead of them and ask if they’d like to pay extra to keep their place in line…”

Customer: “ALL RIGHT, fine.”

Optional Advice

| Toronto, ON, USA | Crazy Requests, School, Spouses & Partners

Student: “This is an emergency! I need help NOW!”

Me: “Did you need me to call 9-1-1, or simply directions to the nearest hospital?”

Student: “No! I need to talk to a career counselor NOW!”

Me: “The career advisors work on an appointment basis. How does next Tuesday work for you?”

Student: “No! I need to talk to somebody NOW!”

Me: “Well, I suppose I can help you. What question do you need answered?”

Student: “I was offered two jobs and I need somebody to tell me what to do.”

Me: “Congratulations on the two job offers. Please tell me more about each position.”

Student: “One job is in Toronto and the other is in Windsor.”

Me: “Well, is relocation an option?”

Student: “I don’t want to leave Toronto.”

Me: “Well, I believe you’ve made your decision.”

Student: “But the job in Windsor pays $20,000 more per year.”

Me: “Is relocation an option?”

Student: “My wife doesn’t want to leave Toronto.”

Me: “Is divorce an option?”

X-Bong

| Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Technology

(A customer comes in carrying the box for an original Xbox.)

Customer: “My Xbox isn’t working.”

Coworker: “That’s no good. Pop it on the counter and we’ll have a look.”

(The customer places the box on the counter. I’m standing nearby when my coworker opens the box. From the box emerges the most putrid smell you could ever imagine. My coworker has to jump back from the smell, holding his nose. Having known some ‘interesting’ people in my life though, I recognise the smell. I lean a bit closer to the box and sniff a few times.)

Me: “Mate… did you spill your bong water on this?”

Customer: *incredibly long awkward silence* “Yeah.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “…not replacing it then?”

Me: “Not a chance.”

(The customer left and I got to try to explain to my coworker why I knew the smell of bong water so well.)

Reached The Tipping Point

| Huntsville, AL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Money

(We are catering a Christmas party for a client and his seventy employees. The party includes an open bar and dinner. There are four servers, and two bartenders. I am a bartender. After five hours of making non-stop bar drinks, and receiving non-stop compliments on our drinks, last call arrives, and this conversation happens.)

Client: “I need to go ahead and sign the check. Can you print me one ticket for everything?”

Me: “Yes, sir. Here you are.” *hands over one complete invoice*

Client: “I needed this separate.”

Me: “Oh, yes, sir. I’m sorry. Here.” *separates food and drink tickets and hands them over*

Client: “No, this isn’t right. I need a complete ticket.”

Me: “I don’t understand. You want the tickets together?”

Client: “No! Where the h*** is [Server not working that night]? She knows how I want things done! I REQUESTED HER AND SHE ISN’T HERE TONIGHT!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t know why she’s not working. Now, about the ticket…”

Client: “NO! I REQUESTED HER. She’s my friend; she knows how I want things done on the invoice. I won’t come back next year for my Christmas party if you won’t do what I want.”

Me: “If you could explain to me, I can help you.”

Client: “Never mind, I’ll just sign this ticket. Did you autograt this?”

Me: “Yes, sir, 15%.”

Client: “And you’re sharing that with everyone working tonight?                  ”

Me: “Yes, sir. Between six people.”

Client: “Well, then, that’s more than enough for you.” *signs, leaves no extra tip, and stomps out*

(He baffled the entire crew, since he spent five hours giving us nothing but compliments on our service, and never once mentioned the other server’s absence. I can only guess that when he saw the large bill, he made up a reason to be angry so he wouldn’t have to tip any extra for the incredible service we provided. Splitting the 15% between the servers, we barely made minimum wage.)

Needs More Than A Nugget Of a Common Sense

, | TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I’m working the counter at a popular chicken joint. We sell chicken nuggets in packs of 6, 8, or 12. A large family rushes up to my register.)

Mother: “Don’t you have anything bigger than a 12 pack?”

Me: “We have a party platter with 50 nuggets, but if you order now it will be at least a 30 minute wait as we have to cook them fresh and clear all current orders before we start yours.”

Mother: *looking horrified with my suggestion* “No! We don’t need THAT many. All right, fine. [Father], what do you think?”

Father: “Okay, we’ll take two 12-pack combos, with another 12-pack on the side for each. Two 8-pack combos with extra 8-packs for each of those.”

Boys: “Why can’t we have kids meals?! We want the toy!”

Father: “That’s not enough nuggets for you boys. We got you adult meals so you’d have enough food.”

Boys: “But there’s no TOY!”

Father: “Okay, okay. And two 6-pack kids combos. Oh, and can you value-size all of those?”

(If you haven’t already done the math, that’s a total of 92 nuggets, nearly double the amount on the party platter. A coworker and I attempt to explain that ordering the platter with some fries on the side would be more efficient and cheaper. They continue to insist they don’t need that many nuggets and begin to suggest that my coworker and I are calling them ‘fatties.’ We decide to go ahead with the order as they want it.)

Me: “Uhm… okay.”

(I take their drink orders, double check everything, and help them pay. It takes around 20 minutes to cook their order because of the sheer volume of nuggets. They are grumpy when we hand them their order, but walk away happily popping hot nuggets in their mouths. I still have a bad feeling about the transaction, so I keep an eye on the family as they eat. Thirty minutes later, they return to my counter with a bag full of nugget boxes.)

Mother: “That was WAY too many nuggets. Here. You take them back and give them to someone else.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but health codes won’t allow us to do that. We can only serve food over the counter, not receive it.”

Mother: “Are you kidding me? You’re just going to waste food like that?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can not take those back.”

Mother: “Well, what am I supposed to do with these?”

Me: “You could save them for later?”

Mother: “Don’t be stupid! We already ate a ton of your nuggets. Why would we go home and eat more?”

(I’m speechless at this point, so my coworker points out a nearby trash can for the woman.)

Mother: “I can’t BELIEVE you’re MAKING me waste this food!”

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