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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Good Things Don’t Always Come In Packages

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

    Me: “Thank you for calling. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I got a package and I signed for it, but I don’t want it, and I need you to take it back.”

    Me: “Okay… We probably can’t take back a package once you’ve signed for it, but let me see what I can do. Can you please tell me the tracking number?”

    Customer: “I don’t have the tracking number. I already told the guy at [Competitor] that. He said they wouldn’t take it, either.”

    Me: “Ma’am, is this package delivered by FedEx, UPS, or the postal service?”

    Customer: “I don’t know! I just need someone to come get it! I don’t want it and I need someone to come get it.”

    Me: “You’re going to need to call our customer service line. Before you call, please find the label on the box and look for the tracking number. They won’t be able to help you without it.”

    Customer: “I’m already talking to you. Why do I need to call a different phone number?!”

    Me: “I work in a retail location, and there is only so much I can do. You will need to call the customer service line.”

    Customer: “Just come get the box!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. All I can say is to call the customer service line.”

    Customer: “Well, all I can say is F*** YOU!”

    Twenty-One Years And Nine Months

    | UK | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (Overheard at the shop where I work:)

    Coworker: “I’m sorry but we can’t accept a pregnancy test as ID… even if it is positive.”

    Town Isn’t Big Enough For The Both Of Them

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I have the same first name as another employee who works in another store in another location. The location names both start with B and end with ‘town.’)

    Me: “Hi. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “I am here to pick up my order. My name is [Customer].”

    Me: “Sorry, I don’t have anything to be picked up under that name. When did you order it?”

    Customer: “I rang on Thursday and spoke to you.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I wasn’t working on Thursday.”

    Customer: “Yes, you were. You gave me your name.”

    Me: “No, I wasn’t here.”

    Customer: “WELL, SOMEONE USED YOUR NAME, THEN! I KNOW I SPOKE TO YOU. YOU ARE LYING TO ME!”

    Me: *twigging* “Hold on. Just let me make a phone call to see if I can find your order.”

    Customer: “About time, too!”

    Me: *on phone, loudly* “Hi, this is [My Name] from [B***town] Store. Can I speak to [My Name], please?” *she answers* “Hi, this is [My Name]. By any chance do you have an order put aside for [Customer]? You do? Well she’s here at my store to pick it up.” *to the customer* “You placed your order with [My Name] at [Other B***town] store.”

    Customer: “No, I got the number from the catalogue.”

    (I show her the catalogue, pointing out the two locations and numbers, right next to each other. There’s no apology, just a demand for it to be sent to us because she needs it today.)

    Me: “Sorry, not possible. It can take two weeks to get to us. If you need it you have to go there to pick it up.”

    (The customer stomped away.)

    The Front End Is Affronted

    , | Saratoga, NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a grocery store in the back in the deli. We have telephones in each department to call other departments and customers and for them to call us. In the summer the deli stays open longer for the tourists than the rest of year. It is now fall so we are closing earlier. We are in the middle of cleaning the department. The phone rings and my coworker answers:)

    Coworker: “Hello, deli department.”

    Coworker: *pause before he answers* “We closed at eight.”

    Coworker: *another pause, then:* “No, we currently close at eight.”

    (He hangs up and then several minutes later it rings again. He picks up again.)

    Coworker: “Hello, deli department.” *pause* “No, we do close at eight. We are not open to ten. We are open to eight.”

    (He hangs up and turns to me:)

    Coworker: “It was the same person and I am going to lose it if they call again!”

    (The phone rings a third time and this time I pick it up.)

    Me: “Hello, deli department. [My Name] speaking.”

    Customer: “The other guy told me you close at eight. I know you close at ten.”

    Me: “We used to close at ten. We are currently closing at eight. We were open later for summer but we are now closing at eight.”

    Customer: “You should be open until ten!” *hangs up*

    (The worst part was the customer was an employee from the front of the store!)

    Lacks The Power To Comprehend

    | London, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (One morning there is an electrical fire under the city streets that blows out power to the entire downtown core. Our store is completely closed, dark, and the roads are blocked off by the hydro company and firefighters who are tackling manhole fires. People still managed to get to our doors nonetheless. One tries to come in behind our manager as she is returning and locking the door.)

    Customer: “I just need my coffee. Two milk, two sugar, please.”

    Manager: “Sorry, sir, we’re closed. We have no power.”

    Customer: “That’s fine. Just pour the coffee and give me the rest on the side.”

    Manager: “Sorry, but we have no coffee right now and we won’t be open until at least noon.”

    Customer: “How do you not have coffee?”

    Manager:“Because we’re closed. We haven’t had power for three hours.”

    Customer: “Well, can’t you just ask them to turn it on quick?” *points to the city hydro truck and workers on the street*

    Manager: “They said it won’t be back until at least noon.”

    Customer: “Can I just come in and see what you have?”

    Manager: “We have no power, so we can’t use our tills, or sell you anything here.”

    Customer: “I’ll just start going to the other store, then!” *the other store is two blocks down, also without power*

    Manager: “Sure. Have a good day.”

    (The outage lasted about nine hours and knocked out every utility in radius of about 10-15 blocks in the core of downtown, including stores, traffic lights, and even complete road closures due to fires. People still couldn’t comprehend that we couldn’t sell them coffee all day.)

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