• Music With A Beautiful Ending
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  • April Theme Of The Month: Losing My Religion!

    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Putting The Screwed Into Screwdriver

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I work in the hardware department of [Major Company]. I get a call 5 minutes to close.)

    Me: “[Major Company] hardware department. This is [My Name] speaking. How may I help you today?”

    Customer: “Hi, yes. I was looking to see if you have [item number] screwdriver set in. I have been looking at it for weeks, but have been waiting for the price to drop.”

    Me: “Certainly, ma’am. Would you mind if I put you on hold for a minute while I go check?”

    Customer: “Sure thing.”

    *I put them on hold, find the set, and get back on the call*

    Me: “Hello, ma’am? We do have the set in stock.”

    Customer: “Oh, great, could you hold it for me?”

    Me: “Are you in the parking lot?”

    Customer: “No, why?”

    Me: “Well, we can only hold items at our registers until we close for the night on the same day.”

    Customer: “Well, how many do you have left?”

    Me: “This would be the last one, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Last one? What the hell?! Can’t you put it in back or something?! I’ll be there in 10 minutes to pick it up!”

    Me: “Unfortunately, I cannot. We can only hold items until we close for the night and we closed about, oh…” *looks at clock* “… 5 minutes ago, now. There is no way you would be able to pick it up tonight, even if you ordered it online. We can always order it to the store or even to the house if we don’t have any in when you stop by. Might I suggest ordering it onl—”

    Customer: “Don’t you dare mention that Internet hocus pocus! My husband needs this ASAP, and I’ll be there in 10 minutes AND IT. BETTER. BE. THERE!”

    Me: “Certainly, ma’am.”

    Customer: *hangs up*

    Coworker: “What was that about?”

    Me: “Some angry lady who’s going to be more pissed off than usual in about 10-15 minutes.”

    (I found out two days later that the angry lady did come to the store 10 minutes later and found the building closed. She came in the next afternoon, demanded the set, got upset when it was no longer available, proceeded to throw merchandise around the department looking for it, and had to be escorted out by security.)

    That One Is A Bad Egg

    | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I recently started working at a local grocery store as a cashier. One of my duties is to inspect eggs to make sure they haven’t broken in their carton before the customer buys them. I do this as a woman is unloading the rest of her groceries. I pick one up delicately with my recently-washed fingers because I thought I saw a crack running to the bottom. The woman mutters something about needing to get more eggs and disappears. I think nothing of it until she comes back and hands me the new eggs. I open the carton to check them.)

    Woman: “I already checked them! You don’t have to do that!”

    Me: “Sorry, miss. Force of habit.”

    Woman: “Well, stop it! That’s the whole reason I went back to get another carton! I don’t like people manhandling my eggs!”

    (I become very embarrassed because I have impaired hearing in the ear that was facing her and realize I didn’t hear her asking me to not touch the eggs with my hands.)

    Me: “I’m very sorry, miss! I didn’t hear you. It’s policy for me to check—”

    Woman: “No! No one has EVER done that to me before! Where is your manager? This is unacceptable! I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOU MANHANDLING MY EGGS!”

    (She thrusts the first carton of eggs at me and instructs me to get rid of them. I finish the transaction as quickly as possible, apologizing profusely as I go, but nothing placates the customer and she continues to rant about how I’m “clueless” and “no one has ever manhandling her eggs like that before.” She leaves in a huff and my next customer comes forward. He gives me a good-natured grin.)

    Next Customer: “You can manhandle my groceries anyway you want!”

    The Emperors New Clothes

    , | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Crazy Requests

    (I am the manager. I am only a few years older than the student who is working at the window, but today I decide to dress in more ‘manager-like clothes’ than my usual jeans and oversized t-shirt, while the student (who is on his third shift) is wearing gym clothes. A fancy-looking couple come to the window.)

    Student: “How can I help you today?”

    Woman: “We want tickets to all the dance performances this season, and we’d like to sit in the mezzanine. That’s the only place you can REALLY see the dancing.”

    (We have had tickets on sale for several months, so all of the mezzanine is sold, as are most of the best seats.)

    Student: “I’m afraid those seats are unavailable, but I can show you on this chart what we do have?”

    Man: *leaning toward the window* “I don’t think you understand. We want to be able to SEE the dancing. Do you understand?”

    Woman: “What do you have in these rows? This row should have a very good vantage point for us to really see the dancers.” *she points to rows that are no longer available*

    Student: “I’m afraid those seats are sold, but these ones I’m showing you will have an excellent view, I can assure you…”

    (The couple are beginning to get frustrated, and the student worker is not able to get a word in. I decide to go to the window.)

    Me: “Hi, I’m one of the managers. Can I help you?”

    Woman: “He won’t sell us mezzanine seats! How are we supposed to see the dancers?”

    Me: *toward the computer screen and pretending to scrutinize* “Oh, yes, I see the problem. If it were me, I would want these seats.”

    (I point to the exact same seats the student has picked, just on the House Left instead of House Right.)

    Me: “That way, you’ll get a full empty aisle view and fewer heads in the way. Plenty of room to see the dancers!”

    Woman: “Thank you!”

    (They ordered “those seats the lady said were good” for the rest of the dance shows. I told the student later that he could have me do that same thing any time as long as he checked that I was wearing nice clothes!)

    (Two Can) Play At That Game

    | Boston, MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    (This guy comes in roughly every other day, and buys one can of cat food at a time.)

    Customer: “Do you have any more [Brand] cat food?”

    Me: “There’s none on the shelf?”

    Customer: “No, I just want the new ones.”

    (I look at the delivery that just came in, and see the cans he want are on the very BOTTOM of a stack of about 15 cases.)

    Me: “I am NOT moving all of those cases for one can.”

    Customer: “Fine, I’ll buy four.”

    (I move all the cases, causing a landslide in the process.)

    Customer: “Never mind, I’ll just get two cans.”

    A Sad Depiction Of Eviction

    | NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Hotels & Lodging

    (I work second shift front desk at an extended stay [Brand] hotel. Of 140+ rooms we have only a couple of two bedroom suites, the largest of our [Brand]’s suites.)

    Caller: “Are you owned or managed by [Some Company]?”

    Me: “No we are owned by [Company #1] and managed by [Company #2].”

    (I never get asked this.)

    Caller: “I’m interesting in seeing the two bedroom suite.”

    Me: “Sure, if you can come by tomorrow I can have someone show you the room.”

    Caller: “Could I see it tonight? I want to stay for three months. I’ll have [Related Brand] hotel shuttle drop me off.”

    Me: “The room hasn’t been cleaned yet…”

    Caller: “That is okay.”

    (It being a Sunday night with only a few check-ins left, I figure it would be okay if I took 15 minutes to land a three-month stay in our most expensive room.)

    Me: “Great, I’ll show you the room when you arrive.”

    (The shuttle drops them off.)

    Me: “Welcome to [Hotel].”

    Caller: “You aren’t owned or operated by [Company #3], are you?”

    Me: “Nope!”

    (I’m getting a bit worried about this; nobody asks this question or is so interested. I show them the room and they tell me about how they need more chairs, a desk for their son, etc. They come across as very needy. This does not bode well.)

    Caller: “We will be living here until our house is ready, and we will need to use the van to pick up our son from school and to do errands.”

    (Red flag: They have a house under construction but they don’t own a car!)

    Me: “For all these things especially the extra furniture and preferential van scheduling will need management approval.”

    Caller: “Okay, let’s book this and your manager can get back to us.”

    Me: “Great, I just need a [Loyalty Card] number and a credit card.”

    Caller: “Okay here is the [Loyalty Card] number and let me read you the CC number.”

    (With confirmation number in hand they called Related Brand hotel and got the shuttle back. At this point I checked their Loyalty Card history. They had been in two hotels for 12 months. I wanted to know why they are changing hotels and what is going on and what they aren’t telling me. I left a note for my manager to call Related Brand hotel and find out why they are leaving. My manager called the other hotel. No sooner did she say the guest’s name, the other manager burst into tears. In New Jersey, if you live in a hotel long enough, you are entitled to protection under the eviction laws. That means the hotel has to take you to court if you haven’t paid your bill. For the first 60 days they paid on time and in full but as soon as the eviction rules kicked in they stopped paying. As a result the hotel had impounded their car. The hotel, having had them evicted, was in the process of extracting money owed for the room, totalling something like $80k. The family was also being investigated by the FBI for committing wire fraud from the hotel’s business center. Naturally my manager cancelled their reservation and I got a $20 gift card to Olive Garden for saving us tens of thousands of dollars of pain. If they hadn’t been so d*** needy we wouldn’t have known until it was too late!)

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