July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Needs Some Fabric Softener

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(I work at a large big box retailer that sells fabrics, interior furnishings and home-wares, and craft. The phone rings.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store Name and Location]. You’re speaking with [My Name]. How can I help you this afternoon?”

Customer: “Hi, I was in your store earlier and I purchased some curtain fabric, and I have an issue with the piece.”

Me: “Okay, sure thing. If there are any flaws, just bring the piece back with your receipt and we’ll be more than happy to replace the piece for you.”

Customer: “Excuse me? Did I say the fabric was flawed?”

Me: “Uh, okay. So what is the issue then?”

Customer: “Well, as I was saying before you rudely interrupted me, I was in your store purchasing some curtaining fabric earlier today, and I paid for five metres. The problem is that I was only given five metres of fabric.”

Me: “Okay, well that is standard practice for all of our stores to give you as much fabric as you pay for.”

Customer: “Well, this is obviously unacceptable. What if I make a mistake when sewing the edges up? You should have given me half a metre extra, so I am coming back to the store now and I want five and a half metres of [fabric] waiting for me for the inconvenience you’ve caused me.”

Me: “That is fine; you’ll have to pay for the extra metre so I will let the department team know you’re coming in for the exchange.”

Customer: “Aren’t you listening to me? You owe me a free half metre of fabric so I will not be paying for it.”

Me: “Unfortunately, we cannot do this, madam. I apologise for any inconveniences caused but no customer will get fabric for free.”

Customer: “You clearly don’t understand how retail works, you stupid child.”

Me: “How about I get a manager to chat with you about this and we can go from there?”

(The manager who had been standing next to me the entire time laughing at me threw me a dirty look, and answered the call. The customer still didn’t understand why we wouldn’t give her the free fabric, and angrily hung up on my manager. She never came in, as far as we know.)

Refunder Blunder, Part 10

| ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

(The store opens five minutes early and a customer comes in specially to make a return.)

Customer: “I was hoping to exchange these chips and get a different flavour.”

Supervisor: “Do you have a receipt?”

Customer: “No.”

Supervisor: “Well, these are still well before their expiry date…”

(She looks at the second bag.)

Supervisor: “Oh, this is a flavour we don’t carry.”

Customer: “I’m just hoping to exchange them.”

Supervisor: “I understand that, but we don’t carry this product.”

Customer: “All I want to do is exchange these chips for another flavour in the same brand.”

Supervisor: “Sir, I’m sorry, but we’re not even really supposed to do returns without a receipt, and I can say quite confidently that you didn’t buy them here.”

Customer: “I KNOW I didn’t buy them here, but I don’t understand why I can’t return them here.”

Supervisor: “You don’t understand why I won’t return something we don’t sell?”

Customer: “…I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 9
Refunder Blunder, Part 8
Refunder Blunder, Part 7

Needs To Re-edit Their Workload

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I have a regular customer who comes in and asks me to help him type up real estate documents, as he is an elderly real estate agent who lacks a secretary, and his typing skills are nil. Usually, his work takes quite a while and he is always willing to let me help other customers with basic orders in between working on his documents.)

Me: “All right, sir. Here’s a printed copy of the documents we just edited. If you would just review those and let me know if we need to change anything? I’m going to step aside so [Coworker] can help her customer really quick, then I’ll finish your order.”

Customer: *mumbles assent and takes stack of papers*

(I wait off to one side while my customer reads his paperwork. When he’s finished, my coworker is just about to wrap up with HER customer, when my customer speaks up.)

Customer: “HEY! When did I get pushed to the side?! We’re working on my order!”

Me: “Err… [Coworker] was just finishing up some quick prints for her customer, but we can get back to working on yours, I suppose!”

(I sit, bring up the rest of the customer’s documents and ask him for his notes. My coworker apologizes to her customer and the two of them wait off to one side.)

Me: *pulling up the next set of notes* “So, what did we need to do with this set?”

Customer: “Why don’t you help that girl!? If she’s just going to print a few things, you might as well get them out of the way, because my stuff’s going to take longer! Besides, you young people are always so impatient and I don’t want you hovering over me while I work!”

(My coworker and I exchanged glances, and then traded places once again so she could finish helping her customer as was originally planned.)

Will Find It Or Dime Trying

| NH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(I work in a grocery store. There are little trash cans between the register and the little counter with the card payment system. I’m giving the customer her change when a coin falls into the trash bucket. Most customers brush it off and leave.)

Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry. Let me get that for you” *find the dime and give it to her* “Well, have a nice day!”

Customer: “There should be another dime. I need my dime.”

Me: “Well, okay, let me look again.” *I look in the trash and around the ground* “Are you sure it wasn’t one dime,  ma’am?”

Customer: “No! Let me look.” *she then proceeds to pull out all the trash, tossing it onto my belt, then pouring out all the garbage*

Bagger: “What’s wrong?”

Me: “She lost her dime.”

(My bagger then starts searching the surrounding area for the dime.)

Customer: *stops after about 10 minutes of searching and looks straight at me* “Oh, well, it’s just a dime.” *she leaves*

Me: *to the next customer* “Hi, how are you today?”

(I’m laughing pretty hard by now, as I could barely keep from cracking up while watching this lady. I’m not even mad.)

Customer #2: “If she took any longer, I would’ve just given her a dollar!”

Coming In For War Paint

| Bethesda, MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(I’m a manager at a popular home supply store in the paint supplies department. I’m filling orders for paint, because the work is getting so backed up, when a clearly angry customer approaches the desk. One of the employees talks to the lady for a while before she starts screaming for a manager. The employee points in my direction and waves at me to come over. I drop what I’m doing and walk over.)

Customer: “HELLOOOOOO!”

Me: “Hello there! How can I help you?”

(She lifts a nearly empty can and slams it on the counter.)

Customer: “You dip-s***s sold me the wrong color! My living room is RUINED!”

Me: “Ma’am, I understand you are frustrated, but please refrain from using coarse language. What color were you trying to get?”

Customer: “A DIFFERENT ONE! YOU gave me a MUCH darker color than what’s on this swatch!”

Me: “Here, let me see what you have.”

(The customer hands me a paint swatch with a honey-color circled in marker. I look at the paint and it matches exactly.)

Me: “Is this the color that’s on your walls now?”

Customer: “YES! How many times do I have to say it?! It’s hideous and YOUR fault!”

Me: “By chance, did you try a sample of the paint first? To see what it looked like with the normal lighting in your room? The samples are quite inexpensive and allow you to try out a few different colors to make sure you like something before—”

Customer: “WHY would I spend money on a SAMPLE?! SAMPLES are FREE!”

Me: *glazing over* “This is paint we’re talking about. We give you enough to cover a small area. It’s not like the sample has noth—”

Customer: “You need to fix this mess you made NOW!! You ruined my living room! Now you’re going to fix it!”

Me: “We are not responsible for you not liking the paint you picked out. I CAN mix up some samples for you to take ho—”

Customer: “And YOU need to come to my house to paint my living room!”

Me: “That’s not going to happen.”

Customer: “And you’re going to do it for free to make up for the distress you’ve caused.”

Me: “That is DEFINITELY not going to happen.”

Customer: “And you’re going to refund me the price of the paint!”

Me: “That is also not happening.”

Customer: “AND I want a gift certificate to show me how sorry you are for the headache you’ve caused!”

Me: “In that case, that will definitely never happen.”

Customer: “Then give me my next room’s worth of paint for free!”

Me: “Absolutely not.”

Customer: *shrugs* “Oh well, it was worth a try.”

(She then turned around and left without her empty paint cans.)

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