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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Giving You No Middle-Ground

    | WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like that ham, please.”

    (The customer makes a vague gesture toward several trays of ham.)

    Me: *pointing to the ham closest to her hand wave* “This one?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: *pointing to another ham* “Was it this one?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Can you tell me what ham it says on the tag, ma’am?”

    Customer: *very rudely* “It’s the one in the middle!”

    (I look at the six trays of ham. There is no middle. This exchange goes repeats until I eventually point to the ham she wants.)

    Customer: “You should probably be more attentive, miss. I need some cheese now.”

    Me: “Of course. What kind would you like?”

    (The customer waves her hand toward the case containing over twenty kinds of cheeses.)

    Customer: “Give me two packages of that.”

    Not Very Closed Minded

    | CA, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (It is 20 minutes after closing, and I am helping my coworker count the drawers. The phone rings, and typically, by protocol, we do not answer if it is the local area code. However, the area code for this number matches head office’s, so we decide to pick it up if they try calling again. Sure enough, the phone rings a second time with the same number. My coworker picks it up and relays the rest of the conversation to me afterward.)

    Coworker: “[Bookstore], [City].”

    Customer: “Hi, are you open?”

    Coworker: “No, I’m afraid we closed a half hour ago.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, when are you open?”

    Coworker: “10 am.”

    Customer: “Okay… Can I ask you a question about a book?”

    Coworker: “…10 am.”

    (He hangs up.)

    Coworker: “Next time, I’ll ask them to hold and then pick up the phone at 10 am tomorrow and say, ‘Okay, I can take your question now.’ That’ll show ‘em.”

    Pot Calling The Kettle Black… Eventually

    | San Diego, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Time

    (I’m helping a customer who is picking up an Internet order. One of the items was damaged so he’s trying to decide if he wants to take it or return it. Another customer comes in line and is waiting no more than 60 seconds.)

    Customer: “Excuse me! Can you just do my return since this guy is obviously not ready?!”

    (I look at the customer I’m helping and he nods at me to go ahead and help her.)

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. Let me help you over here.”

    Customer: “Good, I’m in a hurry and some people just want to take their time when others are ready to go! Now, let me just find my receipt.”

    (She spent the next three minutes digging through her purse and a crazy stack of receipts. Glad her time is more important than everyone else’s.)

    About To Have A Fire Sale

    | Clovis, NM, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

    (I work in a call center doing tech support for a well known fast food chain. A coworker is the one that actually took this call. They were complaining about a piece of equipment that functions as a surge protector and battery backup for the computers that run the store.)

    Caller: “My [piece of equipment] is smoking.”

    Coworker: “Sir, I need you to unplug everything from it and move everything away from it until it cools down.”

    Caller: “But that will bring down our store! I’ll do it later when we slow down or after closing.”

    Coworker: “Sir, you realize it could burst into flames and burn down your store, right?”

    Caller: “And? We are busy!”

    Decisions Derisions

    | Malaysia | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a remainder bookstore. We have a notorious customer who comes in few minutes before closing to browse books. She doesn’t buy them. She reserves her browses for months and pays for them even later.)

    Customer: “Since you released my reservations, I want you to find my books again. I am buying them today.”

    Supervisor: “Sure, why not. After all, we are only closing in two minutes.”

    Customer: “Oh, two minutes? Then make it quick!”

    Supervisor: *relentlessly fulfills her terrible demands, and getting angrier by the moment* “Would you kindly make your purchases now? We are way past closing time.”

    Customer: *suddenly breathes heavily, tearing up and her arms were flailing* “YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME! WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME DECIDE NOW? I AM YOUR CUSTOMER!” *proceeded to run around the store*

    Supervisor: “Miss, please! We will reserve your books and you can come tomorrow.”

    Customer: “I can’t come tomorrow! I am very busy! I have a meeting tomorrow and I have to cook for the kids!”

    Supervisor: “You can come after your working hours.”

    Customer: “No! You can’t make me decide! Don’t do this to me! You can’t make me decide!”

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