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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    A Premature Point Of View

    | Courtenay, BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

    (I work the front desk of a smaller hotel, where all of our rooms face the ocean; meaning the front entrance of the units are motel style in the back, edging onto a wooded area with the sliding glass doors all facing the waters edge. A guest we had just checked about 10 minutes ago comes back to the desk FURIOUS. I overhear the exchange between him and my coworker…)

    Guest: “I was told my room had an OCEAN VIEW! You people are NOT advertising correctly. This is false advertising!”

    Coworker: “Sir, I assure you you ARE in one of our beachfront units. In fact, it really doesn’t get much more ‘beachfront!’”

    Guest: “Yeah, well, I can assure YOU that my room is NOT facing the water! I am not paying this much money to stare at some trees!”

    (At this point we’re all dumbfounded as to why this guest claims his room doesn’t have a view, as it’s physically impossible for it not to. At this point, my coworker clues in.)

    Coworker: “… Sir, did you actually ENTER the room yet?”

    Guest: “No, but the building is surrounded by trees. There’s no ocean or beach in sight!”

    (As soon as the guest actually WENT INTO the room, to his surprise, he found a gorgeous ocean view and had no further complaints!)

    Common Sense Just Melts Away

    | Charleston, SC, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (A small crowd has suddenly formed in the store, so I jump on the line to help my coworker with the sandwiches. She’s already started one and tells me the customer wants a chicken bacon ranch. I make the sandwich right in front of the customer. After heating up all the meats, I have her tell me what kind of veggies she wants on it. When the last veggie is put on, this happens:)

    Customer: “And tomatoes… but I wanted a melt, not a chicken bacon ranch.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “I told the other girl I wanted a melt.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am. I’ll make you a new sandwich, but why didn’t you say anything for the last two minutes? You could see it wasn’t a melt, right?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I knew it wasn’t a melt. I thought you were going to figure out it wasn’t one either.”

    Coupon Is Off

    | IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Wild & Unruly

    Customer: “I want to use this Groupon for my massage today; your manager said I could.”

    (I look at the Groupon and it is for a competitor. I explain this to her.)

    Customer: “Well, your manager said I could use this…”

    (I call the manager who says that she claimed it was expired, not for a completely different store.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I spoke with my manager and he agreed to let you use an expired Groupon, not one for a completely different location.”

    Customer: “This is f****** ridiculous!!! I’m calling the BBB and putting you on Facebook!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am. I’m so sorry but I cannot allow you to use this but I can give you our member rate today and give you a free half hour massage on your next visit which is $80 in savings.”

    Customer: “But I already paid for this Groupon and I WANT TO USE IT NOW!”

    Me: “I understand your frustration, ma’am, but I cannot allow you to use this at this clinic as it is not for our store but for our competitors.”

    Customer: “Well you just don’t want me to come in here. You hate people like me don’t you? You’re racist!”

    (I am confused as both the customer and I are white.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to need you to watch your language and calm down. Again, I cannot let you use this at this store but I can offer you up to $80 in savings and you will be paying less than you originally paid for the Groupon.”

    Customer: “No! I ALREADY PAID FOR THIS F****** THING! I’M GOING TO THE BBB AND PUTTING YOU ON FACEBOOK! YOU PEOPLE ARE WORTHLESS AND EVIL!”

    Me: “Ma’am, can I ask you just one question? Do you get mad when you go to Walmart and they don’t let you use Target Gift Cards?”

    Customer: “…”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: “Oh… well… just, NEVERMIND, YOU HEATHEN!”

    (The customer walked out and never did get her massage. I also never heard from the BBB or corporate about being ‘blasted’ on Facebook.)

    Perhaps This Isn’t Your Calling

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

    (I’ve just started a new job as a secretary for a house construction company. The former secretary is training me.)

    Former Secretary: “This job is a snap. Answering the phone is the easiest part. All they ever want is lot prices or house prices. Oh, the phone is ringing now; go ahead and answer it.”

    Me: “Good morning. Thank you for calling [Company Name]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “I need you to fix my hot tub.”

    Me: “One moment please, sir.” *to the former secretary* “This guy wants us to fix his hot tub.”

    Former Secretary: “What?”

    (The former secretary takes phone, talks a little, and then hangs up.)

    Former Secretary: “He had the wrong [Company Name]. He thought he was calling the head office of the hotel he’s staying at.  That was weird. Oh, the phone’s ringing again.”

    Me: *answers phone*

    Caller: “THEY’RE CUTTING DOWN MY TREES! MAKE THEM STOOOPPP!”

    Me: “One moment please, sir.” *to former secretary* “Um, this guy says ‘they’ are cutting down his trees.”

    Former Secretary: “Are you kidding?”

    Me: “I thought answering the phones here was supposed to be easy?”

    Former Secretary: “It usually IS!”

    Thinks They’re Trying To Pull The Wool Over Your Eyes

    | Ireland | Crazy Requests, Spouses & Partners

    (I work in a wool mill. I’m almost finished for the day, and tired from lifting and weighing yarn, weaving, and answering phones, when a married couple come into the store at the front of the mill. The husband keeps interrupting me.)

    Husband: “So, all of these scarves are obviously wool.”

    Me: “Nope. We use some wool, but we use a lot of cotton, linen, sil—”

    Husband: “Uh-huh. And it’s all Irish wool, of course.”

    Me: “No, we don’t actually use Irish wool because it’s not great for wearing. Irish sheep have short, wiry wool that is too—”

    Husband: “And why not? You have loads of sheep out there! I’ve seen them!”

    Me: “I know our sheep look lovely out there in the field, but their wool mostly goes into carpets and—”

    Husband: “Carpets! Where do you get your wool then?”

    (At this point, I’m getting a little overwhelmed, and his wife can see that.)

    Wife: “[Husband], let the girl finish; she’s trying to answer you. If you’re going to ask a question, wait for the answer.”

    (The husband then shuts up and lets me finish my sentence.)

    Me: “A lot of our wool comes from Italy and Japan. Warm climates have better wool, but we don’t just use wool from regular old sheep. We have alpaca and camel too, and we’re thinking of using yak next year.”

    Wife: “Fascinating! Thank you so much. What’s your name?”

    Me: “Oh, my name is [My Name].”

    Wife: “I’m so sorry. My husband can get a bit excited when it comes to new things. He thinks he already knows everything about it. Don’t let him get to you. We’ll take these please!”

    (She held up six scarves and I folded and bagged them. The husband pouted in the corner. Probably not the first time he’d been told off by his wife!)

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