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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Pooped Trying To Explain It All

    | Austin, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    (I have been working at a popular, well known pet store for about two weeks. It is my first night closing alone when my manager finds me to ask if I can talk to a family about adopting a small pet. I am lead to a family of two young boys, both under 10 years old, and their father.)

    Me: “Hi! How can I help you?”

    Father: “Yes, well, we have never had a pet before. They want something that doesn’t bite, will run in a ball so they can play with it without it getting away, something they can hold and play with, and something they can take care of themselves.”

    Me: “Well, sir, you will need to watch the kids and be sure the pet is being taken care of since they are so young. There is no pet we have that very young children can take care of alone.”

    Father: “Really? Not even the hamsters?” *points to our gerbils*

    Me: “No, sir. They all require daily care, food, water, cage cleaning.”

    Father: “What about the gerbils?”

    (He points to our mice.)

    Me: “Those are mice, and yes, they need daily care. I also would not recommend them to new, young owners who want something calm that they can easily handle. They are quick and tend to bite.”

    Father: “What about those? Are those mice?”

    Me: “No sir, those are dwarf hamsters and also bite.”

    Father: “What about those? Are those gerbils?”

    Me: “No, sir, those are bear hamsters. They are calmer but also bite and need time to warm up before they are easily handled and will need adult supervision before being allowed alone with small children.”

    Father: “Even the gerbils?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, even the gerbils… Maybe you would like to look at our guinea pigs? They don’t really bite and it’s kind of hard to lose them if they get out. But still need to be watched by adults.”

    Father: “That’s a guinea pig?” *points to the bear hamsters*

    Me: “No, these are. Would you like to see one?”

    Father: “How do you take of care of it?”

    Me: “Well, it needs to be fed and watered everyday, needs hay daily, and it’s cage bedding needs to be cleaned at least once a week.”

    Father: “Once a week?! How often does it poop?!”

    Me: “Every day. All our animals poop every day.”

    Father: “What about this hamster?” *points to the mice*

    Me: “Those are mice. They bite, and also poop daily.”

    Father: “And this? It’s small, it can’t poop everyday.”

    Me: “That’s the gerbils. Again, they also bite and poop.”

    (At this point I recommended a fish, which he turned down, so I got my manager to help me explain what pet care means. He ended up getting a guinea pig but not before I, my manager, and other staff, including the cashiers, reminded him of its species and needs, gave him numerous free booklets and phone numbers, and made sure he knew he could bring it back for anything. We even allowed him to bring it back past our normal 2 week return policy.)

    Can’t Compete With Common Sense

    | PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

    (My supervisor is filling in for a cashier. A customer checking out hands him a coupon from one of our competitor stores. Corporate has recently told us we can only match it if we have a similar coupon running, which we don’t for this one.)

    Customer: “You ALWAYS take competitor coupons!”

    Supervisor: “Unfortunately, sir, we can’t honor this one.”

    Customer: “Well, what’s stopping me from taking this coupon and buying this same item from THEIR store?”

    Supervisor: “What a novel idea.”

    (The customer walked out without another word.)

    Like Their Coffee (Burnt) Black

    | Franklin Park, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (The property owner has come in to report that there is smoke coming from the roof of the shopping center, though not directly above our store. A few customers overhear.)

    Customer #1: “So, uh, what should we do?”

    Customer #2: “Yeah, can we still order drinks?”

    Me: “Um… well, I guess so, since we haven’t gotten an official order to evacuate.”

    (Despite the commotion, no one in the café has budged. I am in the middle of making the last customer’s drinks when the store manager comes in.)

    Manager: “Ladies, gentlemen, there is a fire in one of the electrical units on top of the building so we are evacuating. Anyone parked directly in front of the building will need to move their cars.”

    (Most people get up to leave, but a few just look around, confused.)

    Customer #3: “Can we leave our things here?”

    Manager: “No. Take all of your things. The store is closing and I have no idea when we will be able to reopen.”

    Customer #2: “Well what should I do?!”

    Manager: “You have to leave. We’ve been given official orders to get everyone out.”

    Customer #2: “But I’ve already paid for those! I don’t have my drinks yet!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I will finish making these drinks, but I am leaving directly after and you will need to do the same.”

    (Even as fire trucks begin to arrive and people file out, a few people wander in.)

    Customer #4: “Are you still open?”

    Me: “No! We are evacuating the building, there is an electrical fire on the roof!”

    (They leave, obviously displeased. I hand off the drinks I was working on and run out. Amazingly, many of the people who were in our cafe are standing around, a few asking if we think we’ll reopen soon. Luckily, the fire was quickly put out, no one was hurt, and the damage was mostly cosmetic. The next day, the same woman who wouldn’t leave without her drinks comes in.)

    Customer #2: “I was here when we had to evacuate yesterday! Was everyone all right?”

    Me: “Yes, everyone is fine. They got the fire put out pretty quickly and none of the stores have major damage.”

    Customer #2: “Well I’m just glad to hear no one was hurt. You guys are more important than coffee.” *walks away*

    (A coworker, who hadn’t been working during the evacuation, looks touched.)

    Coworker: “That was so nice! What a sweet thing to say.”

    Me: “Yeah… just wish she had felt that way yesterday when she wouldn’t let me leave until her lattes were finished.”

    Coworker: “…oh.”

    Has A Cat’s Chance In Hell Of Adopting

    | Kearney, NE, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Hello! Are you interested in finding a pet today?”

    Customer: *with young son* “Yes. I would like to adopt two cats.”

    Me: “That’s fantastic! We have many to choose from.”

    Customer: “Too bad my landlord won’t let me have more than one pet at my apartment.” *handing me her phone* “Here’s a picture of my son’s cat.”

    Me: “You already have a pet?”

    Customer: “Yep.”

    Me: “And you want to adopt two more?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “But your landlord says you can only have one animal in your home?”

    Customer: “Oh, the two cats I adopt here won’t live with me! My father just passed away and his house is lonely so they’ll live there.”

    Me: “I’m so sorry to hear about your father, but we can’t do an adoption for cats to live alone in a house.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    Me: “Because we want to make sure that the animals would be properly cared for and if no one lives with them they could run out of food and water or get trapped during an emergency and you might not know about it for days.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m paying for the air conditioning to be on at his house so someone should live there!”

    Me: “Maybe you could live out the lease at your apartment then move in to your dad’s house.”

    Customer: “No, I don’t want to have to move my stuff. What if I just tell you I live there?”

    Me: “Since I already know that that is a lie, I would not feel comfortable doing the adoption.”

    Customer: “Do you even care about the animals here?!”

    Me: “Yes, that’s why I don’t want them it have to live alone in a house. They deserve to be cared for.”

    Customer: “Maybe I’ll just spend every night at the house so I know they’d be okay!”

    Me: “Would your son stay with you?”

    Customer: “No! He’s afraid of the house!”

    Me: “So, you’re willing to let your young son live alone just so you can adopt these cats?”

    Customer: “I’m gonna tell you whatever you need to hear so you’ll give me these animals!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I truly am sorry that you lost your father. But the situation you are in right now simply makes me unable to let you adopt an animal from us. If you move or can provide us with written proof that your landlord will allow more pets, come back and see what cats we have at that time.”

    Customer: “You’ll be hearing from my lawyer! You don’t even care what happens to these animals!” *storms out the door*

    Sadly This Job Isn’t Child’s Play

    | OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (I work in an arcade, which also has a kids’ gym. Right by the only entrance and exit, there is a sign which clearly says that employees are not babysitting the area, and that kids may leave without parents. However, I do try and keep the younger kids from leaving without supervision. One day I let two younger boys out to use the bathroom. Less than a minute later, their mother comes up to me.)

    Mother: “Did you see my two sons leave?!”

    Me: “Yes, I let them run to the bathroom.”

    Mother: “WHAT?! Why would you let them out?! One of them is only two!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s not my job to watch your kids.”

    Mother: “YOU STILL SHOULDN’T HAVE LET THEM OUT!”

    Me: “Ma’am, please stop yelling. I did ask where they were going, and made sure they knew where the bathrooms were. I also checked that they went in the right direction.”

    Mother: “You still shouldn’t let them out!”

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