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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    A Win Fail

    , | Fort Collins, CO, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (We’re currently running a promo.)

    Me: “With a meal deal you get this offer. You can enter the code online and see if you win concert tickets at Red Rocks.”

    Customer: “Whoa. So, how does this work?”

    Me: “You can go to the website written on the card and enter the code to see if you can win concert tickets.”

    Customer: “So I go to a website and enter a code?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “So… what happens if I DON’T win?”

    Me: “Then you don’t win the concert tickets.”

    Customer: “Isn’t there a consolation prize?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “What kind of contest is this? I’m not guaranteed to win concert tickets?”

    Me: “A raffle.”

    Customer: “What’s a raffle?”

    (We are inside a university, as well…)

    Cannot Be Tailored To His Demands

    | Nanaimo, BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Money

    (I own a tailor shop. I typically ask customers if one week service is okay with them. This is because I am all alone here and need the time. Most are fine with it but some need things sooner. This is okay provided I have time available on whatever day. However, if they want it same day or next day, there is an upcharge since I have to stop anything else I am doing and let them jump the queue. My permanent special is on regular jean hems since they are the fastest hem to do. A customer walks in with two pairs of pants with fancy stitching on the hems and a bit of intentional distressing of the fabric.)

    Customer: “I want to get these both hemmed, but do you do the kind of hem where I get to keep this look at the bottom?”

    Me: “A European style hem? Yes, I do those.”

    (I take his information and measurements for the receipt and enter the jobs into the computer.)

    Me: “Now, is next Saturday okay for you?”

    Customer: *eyes bulge out of his face* “That long?! Really?”

    Me: “It is just what I like to ask for. I might be able to get them done sooner, though. What day would you like them done?”

    Customer: “Well, I am going to Vancouver on Tuesday, so…”

    Me: “If you aren’t leaving until later on Tuesday, I can have them ready for 9:30 pickup or, if you are willing to pay the urgent fee, I can have them ready tomorrow. I am closed Sunday and Monday.”

    Customer: *sounding impatient* “How much?”

    Me: *looking at the computer* “[Amount] for Tuesday or [amount +$10] for tomorrow.”

    Customer: *eyes stick out even more* “HOW MUCH?! But I came here because your sign outside says two for [amount which is half of the Tuesday price I quoted], and that is why I came here! That is false advertising!”

    Me: “I am sorry for the misunderstanding, but that price is for our basic hem, which is where I cut the pant and sew a new hem. It takes one machine and is an easy hem. It has an absolute turn around time of one week which is why it is a special price. The hem you want is more of a ‘deluxe’ hem and takes all three of my machines and more time, plus you want it sooner than one week.”

    Customer: “I don’t see why you need a week! You just need to cut it and sew! It would take a few seconds!”

    Me: “Regular hems don’t take long, but you don’t want that kind. Euros take longer, but not that long. The issue is that there are many people ahead of you and their work comes first. That is why if you want to skip the line, you have to pay a little extra.”

    Customer: *looking very disgruntled* “Well, the place in the mall will do it for [30% less than my regular euro price] AND they gave me a 10% off card to use!”

    Me: *knowing for a fact that the place in the mall charges a little less than twice what I do and doesn’t do a good job at all* “Well, that sounds like an excellent deal, sir. You’d better get there before they close, then. I am sorry I couldn’t help you today. Let me just get the pins out of these pants for you.” *does so* “Sorry again, but have a great weekend!”

    (The customer grabbed his jeans and left, still grumbling.)

    Countering Those At The Counter

    | IN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I’m in line at the pharmacy. It’s been a long day, and I just want to pick up my prescription and go home. The customer in front of me has a basket full of groceries.)

    Customer: “I need to pick up my medicine! And I want to pay for my groceries here. I only have six things.”

    Pharmacist: “Sure, let me get those for you.”

    (The customer puts way more than six grocery items on the counter. I am beyond irritated at this point since she’s making me wait. As the pharmacist scans the groceries, however, I decide not to let it get to me. The wait isn’t that much longer, and I’m next in line anyway.)

    Pharmacist: “… and there you go. You’re all set. Have a nice evening!”

    Customer: “You too.”

    (The customer turns to go and notices me standing in line behind her.)

    Customer: *to me* “Excuse me.”

    Me: “Oh, it’s no problem—”

    Customer: “I SAID, EXCUSE ME. THE SIGN SAYS YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO WAIT FOR THE PHARMACIST, NOT CROWD AROUND THE PEOPLE AT THE COUNTER. YOU ARE IN MY WAY!”

    (She grabs her stuff and storms off in a huff, leaving both me and the pharmacist speechless.)

    Taking Stupidity To New Heights, Part 4

    , | Dublin, Ireland | Crazy Requests, Technology, Transportation

    (A customer calls to book a flight from London to Berlin. The aircraft assigned for that route had recently been changed from a jet-engine to a propeller plane. I am required to inform passengers when booking the flight.)

    Customer: “A propeller plane? But if the engine stops working, the ‘plane will fall from the sky!”

    (I was momentarily silenced as I tried to work out how this wasn’t also true for the jet aircraft. The passenger eventually decided to chance it and booked the flight.)

    Related:
    Taking Stupidity To New Heights, Part 3
    Taking Stupidity To New Heights, Part 2
    Taking Stupidity To New Heights

    Getting Crabby At The Box Office

    | US | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I work in the box office of a theater company that performs different plays throughout the summer. Occasionally we get calls from people assuming we are a cinema.)

    Me: “Box office. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Uh, yeah, can I place an order with you?”

    Me: “Yes, this is the box office. You can order tickets with us.”

    Customer: “Okay, I’m gonna get five crab cakes, two orders of—”

    Me: “I’m sorry. What was that?”

    Customer: “I want five orders of the crab cakes, and—”

    Me: “I’m sorry. This is the box office of the theater at [Town].”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “The theater at [Town].”

    Customer: “[Town]?”

    Me: “Yes. This is the box office.”

    Customer: “The box office.”

    Me: “Yes.” *silence* “Did you want to order some tickets to a play?”

    Customer: “… Yeah. So, I want five crab cakes and two ord—”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. This isn’t a restaurant. This is the box office of the theater.”

    Customer: “So you don’t have any crab cakes?”

    Me: “I’m afraid not, sir. We only sell tickets to plays.”

    Customer: “Okay, sounds great, thanks.” *hangs up*

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