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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Oreo-Slow

    , | Calhoun, GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (We have a guideline on how much to put in one of our ice cream items for each size. I work as a server and I make drinks and ice cream throughout the day. I particularly remember putting more in this item then what is accustomed to.)

    Customer: “Ma’am, what is this?!”

    Me: “It is the [item] you ordered, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Well there are absolutely no Oreos in this thing! It’s all vanilla ice cream!”

    Me: “I’ll have someone out shortly, ma’am.”

    (I fetch her treat myself and to my amazement see that she has ate half of it, and there are several chunks of Oreo inside of it. So instead of remaking it, I throw away the lid and spoon, and just remix the item.)

    Me: “Here you go, ma’am. This should be more than enough Oreo.”

    Customer: “There! Now why can’t you put this much in here all the time?!”

    A Sudden Flood Of Laundry

    | NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I work as an attendant at a coin-op laundromat. It’s open 24 hours, but we only have staff inside from about 9 am – 4 pm most days. One of the services we offer is a drop-off laundry service where customers who do not want to wait around can drop off their laundry, and we will wash, dry and fold it for them for an extra charge. However, because staff is only on-hand until 4 pm, our policy is that any laundry that is dropped off after 2 pm will be done the next morning and be ready by noon. One day, it’s 4 pm and I’ve just locked up the office for the day, when suddenly a car screams into the lot and a young woman rushes out, carrying several huge canvas bags full of laundry.)

    Customer: *exasperated and out of breath* “Wait! Don’t close! I need you to do this laundry!”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I re-open the office and begin to prepare a drop-off slip, assuming she wants me to do it the next day.)

    Customer: *dropping laundry in front of me* “I need this done within an hour.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. That’s going to be impossible today.”

    Customer: *shocked* “What? But I need this done in an hour!”

    Me: “I’m really sorry, but our office closed at 4. Any laundry dropped off after 2 has to be done the next day, because it can take a long time to get certain orders done. And your order looks quite large, so there’s no way I could get it done within an hour, anyways.”

    Customer: “Bull-s***! My washer and dryer at home could do all of this in a half hour!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I’ll have to disagree. You have a huge load of laundry.  It’d probably take me two hours or so to wash, dry and fold everything there. If I may ask, why not just do the laundry in your machines if they’d supposedly get it done so much quicker?”

    Customer: “You’re just lazy! You’re lazy! I don’t want to do my laundry. I want you to do it!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I already clocked out and the office closes at 4 pm. The policy is no orders after 2 pm can be done the same day. And I’m hardly lazy. I did a shift that was nearly 20 hours straight last week in order to work on a huge order from a local flood-zone. Then I came in for another 10 hours the next day to finish it.”

    Customer: “So you’re lazy AND a liar!”

    (The customer turns and storms off, inadvertently slipping on the floor and falling to her knees because she is stomping around haphazardly. She stands up, turns, and screams at me.)

    Customer: “Your lazy a** isn’t leaving until you scrub this flood! I just slipped on it because your lazy a** won’t clean it! I’ll have you fired if you don’t fix this!”

    (I had literally just mopped up about a half-hour earlier and gotten it very clean.)

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I mopped the floor a second time and put down a “Caution: Wet Floor” sign while she glared at me. She finally stormed out after unsuccessfully trying to get me to do her order again afterwards. I was finally able to leave an hour after closing. In that hour, she made no effort to do her own laundry, even though she needed it done ‘in an hour.’)

    Didn’t Make New Calendar Year Resolution

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I am the manager for a seasonal kiosk at my city’s mall. I’ve been out sick for the last couple of days with a plethora of very unpleasant infections, and though I am no longer contagious, thanks to my medication, I am still in a lot of pain. It’s the day before Christmas Eve when I get a phone call from one of my employees.)

    Employee: “We’ve got a gentleman who isn’t happy with our return policy and wants to talk to a manager.”

    Me: “Okay, put him on the phone.”

    Employee: “Sir, if you would like to talk to my boss, she’s—”

    Customer: *in the background* “I want to talk to her in person.”

    Employee: “Sir, my boss is sick. She can’t—”

    Customer: “In person!”

    (The customer continues to insist that he will only talk to the manager in person. After he is informed that I am sick and that I live 45 minutes away from the store, he says he will wait for me to come in and that he will not leave my employee to do her job until he has spoken to a manager in person. I drive to the mall to talk to him, though thankfully by now security guards have relocated him to the mall management office.)

    Me: “Hello, sir. I’m the manager for [Kiosk]. What can I do for you today?”

    Customer: “Your return policy is crap. I want to return this calendar and get my money back but your employee won’t let me.”

    (He holds up a calendar that has already been opened.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but our return policy states that we cannot do refunds on opened merchandise.”

    Customer: “It’s a store policy! You’re the store manager! You can let me return it.”

    Me: “I can’t do that. It’s a corporate policy.”

    Customer: “I want my money back!”

    (He shoves the calendar at me; I see that it is one of our $8 sale calendars; most of our products are $15. I also see that not only is it open, he has also written on some of the squares for January.)

    Me: “…You’ve already written on this.”

    Customer: “I’m not happy with my purchase! I want my money back!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but corporate’s return policy will not allow me to issue a cash refund for opened merchandise that has been written on. If you would like to take this up with corporate, I can get you our corporate customer service number.”

    Customer: “No! You WILL give me my money back RIGHT NOW.”

    (He then proceeds to start swearing. Having had more than enough of this, I turn to leave, and he actually makes a grab for me! One of the security guards intercepts him before he can touch me.)

    Security Guard: “Oh, no, you don’t.”

    Customer: “This isn’t fair! I want my money back! The customer is always right! You were supposed to back down after I yelled at you in person!”

    (He kept this up while one of the other security guards called the cops. As he was still going at it when they arrived, the cops ended up arresting him… all over an $8 calendar. Merry Christmas, jerk.)

    Balking At Your Talking

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

    (It is morning, and all the guests are eating breakfast. Since no one is asking for service, I relax and chat with my coworker. A man and woman come up, with annoyed expressions.)

    Man: “Hey, you!”

    Me: “Yes? Can I help you with something?”

    Man: “Yes! You can help by not talking to your friend!”

    Me: “You mean, my coworker?”

    Woman: “Yes! Her! You’re supposed to work here, not chit chatting! I’ll be telling your manager about you slacking off!”

    Man: “What kind of service is this, where the workers just chatter on?”

    Me: “Well, I was just talking with my coworker here since there was no one in line or at the counter.”

    Man: “No, I don’t want you to do that! It’s very rude!”

    Me: “So…  you don’t want me to talk to my coworker?”

    Woman: “Yes, exactly! You are here to serve us! Nothing else! You hear me?”

    (They storm off, very incensed.)

    Manager: “What was that all about?”

    (They did complain, and their complaints were laughed off.)

    How To Give Someone A God Complex

    | The Philippines | Crazy Requests, Religion

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. [My Name] speaking. Can I have your full name, please?”

    Customer: “[Customer].”

    Me: “Thank you. How can I be of assistance to you today?”

    Customer: “I need you to take of the late fees and overdraft fees off of my account! RIGHT NOW!”

    Me: “Well, I’ll be glad to take a look into your account and review the probability of removing the fees but I’m going to need to review it thoroughly, okay?”

    Customer: “Yeah, whatever.”

    (After a good minute of pause…)

    Me: “I’m sorry Ms. [Customer], but it seems that the charges are all valid; I won’t be able to remove them this time.”

    Customer: “You f****** b****! You had me waiting for 15 long minutes while you were doing your s*** on your computer and now you’re telling me you cannot take these f***** fees off?!”

    (I have her account pulled up and it didn’t take me 15 minutes to see the late and overdraft fees on her account.)

    Me: “I’m sorry this upsets you, ma’am, and as much as I would like to remove these fees for you, I won’t have the capability because our system recognizes valid charges and won’t let us modify it.”

    Customer: “I don’t f****** care! Remove them or I will call the police!”

    Me: “What can the police do?”

    Customer: “You people are stealing my money! I will sue you and your company for this, lady!”

    Me: “I understand your frustration, but we have sent you multiple notices reminding you of your payment and we haven’t received any amount for the past five months. The late fess piled up, over-drafting your account. I really do apologize for the inconvenience this has caused you.”

    Customer: “Don’t give me that s***! I f****** want you to f****** remove these fees off of my account! Don’t be stupid! I know you can do it! You just don’t want to, because you are too lazy to do it!”

    Me: “Ms. [Customer], please avoid using profanity. This is a professional institution and we don’t tolerate such language. If it happens again, I will have to disconnect the call.”

    Customer: “F*** you, you f****** b****! Give me your f***** supervisor! Wait, no. I want someone higher that your supervisor: your manager, or your CEO! No, I want the president of your company, or the higher person above your president!”

    (After multiple attempts to calm the customer down and my warnings for her vulgar language, I am kind of ticked off already.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I definitely can hand you over to my supervisor—”

    Customer: “Didn’t you f****** hear me, you s***?! I want the person higher than the president of your company!”

    Me: “I believe that wouldn’t be possible; there is no one higher than the president of this company. He owns the business.”

    Customer: “I don’t believe you! Hand me over to someone higher than him!”

    Me: “Ma’am, if you want someone higher than the person who owns this company, then PRAY. Talk to God. He is the highest being you could talk to. You can also ask for forgiveness for that bad language and have Him bless you more for you to have the money to pay for your dues. And since you didn’t listen when I asked you to stay professional, I will now disconnect this call. I hope you have a nice day and thank you for calling [Bank]. Good bye.” *click*

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