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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Making An Amendment To The Amendment

    | SC, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Politics

    (A customer has called in to complain about being assessed a paper statement fee, which we recently implemented. I explained to her multiple times how to enroll in online statements in order to waive the fee, which she feels she shouldn’t have to do.)

    Customer: “I shouldn’t have to do that. This is my money and it is unconstitutional to charge these fees.”

    Me: “Ma’am, these fees are not unconstitutional. We have a team of lawyers who check all of our policies and fees before they are implemented specifically for legality.”

    Customer: “I’m telling you. These fees are unconstitutional and violate my Second Amendment rights!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you do realize that the Second Amendment allows you the right to bear arms and own a gun, don’t you?”

    (Pause…)

    Customer: “Well these fees are still unconstitutional. And wrong. I want to speak to a supervisor!”

    Needs To Wake Up And Smell The Roses

    | Mexico | Crazy Requests

    (A customer enters the flower shop with roses in his hands.)

    Customer: “Hi. Can you make me a floral arrangement? I already bought the roses.”

    Me: “Yes. It is going to cost $20.”

    Customer: “Wait! Do I have to pay you?!”

    Ahead Of The Game

    | St. John's, NL, Canada | Crazy Requests, Liars & Scammers, Technology

    (We sell console games in addition to groceries in a more-or-less rough part of town, and our policy is unopened games can be returned with a receipt within 14 days from purchase.)

    Customer: “I’d like to return this game.”

    Me: *checks seal on game* “Seal is in check, so I just need your receipt.”

    Customer: “I’ve got no receipt. But I just want to exchange this for some groceries now.”

    Me: “Sorry. Without a receipt I have to get authorization on these big ticket items from a manager.”

    Customer: “It’s only a game. It’s not even that big.”

    Me: “No, but the price tag is. It comes to almost $90, so I need a manager authorization.”

    (My manager and I check the UPC in our system, and he sees that we received six copies of the game, and there is six on the shelf right now, and the system shows no sales since it arrived.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that game wasn’t bought at this store. Perhaps it was a different store you bought it at?”

    Customer: “No, it was right here. I bet you it was the cashier just took my money and put it in her pocket when I left. Didn’t even scan it.”

    Me: “Did you get a receipt?”

    Customer: “Yeah, but I lost it.”

    Me: “If you got a receipt, the cashier couldn’t have stolen your money. We received in six copies of this game, and there is six in our case. And we haven’t sold any at this location since it arrived.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t want my money back. I just want groceries.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but without a receipt showing purchase from this location, I cannot give you any sort of refund or exchange.”

    Customer: “I’ll be back later to get a refund on this, then. Bunch a thieves.”

    Manager: *to me after he leaves* “What was the game called he was trying to get off with?”

    Me: “You’ll get a kick out of this: ‘Thief.’

    Making A Fuss Over Small Fry

    , | CT, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I work at a fast food restaurant. We currently have a seafood special that comes with fries and a biscuit.)

    Customer: “Do you have one that comes without fries and a biscuit?”

    Me: “Yes, we do.”

    Customer: “How much would that be?”

    (I give her the price, plus tax.)

    Customer: “Okay, I’ll take that. How much does a drink cost?”

    Me: “A dollar.”

    Customer: “So I’ll take that and a drink.”

    (I ring up her order, making sure that she wants it without the fries and biscuit, to which she says yes. I assemble her order and give it to her. She’s not even away from the counter when she starts complaining.)

    Customer: “This is all I get?”

    Me: “Yes, you get eight pieces.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous! I paid five dollars for this?”

    (Her total was five dollars and change because of the one dollar drink.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. That’s how it comes.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous.”

    (At this point she spots my manager, who comes over to assist.)

    Customer: “It’s ridiculous that I just paid five dollars for this little bit of food!”

    Manager: “Can I see your receipt? The food was $3.99 and the drink was a dollar, plus tax.”

    Customer: “Oh, well, that’s still ridiculous.”

    Manager: “Would you like the fries and a biscuit?”

    Customer: “Yes, I think I would like that.”

    (At this point, I open my mouth, ready to interject that she specifically asked for no fries and no biscuit, just the eight pieces of seafood. But I don’t.)

    Manager: “If you give me one more dollar, you can get the fries and biscuit.”

    (She hands over the dollar and my manager tells me to serve the fries and biscuit. Once I’m finished, I give it to her.)

    Customer: “Thank you! God, that was ridiculous!”

    Unbelievable To Unrecieptable

    | Germany | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Technology

    (During a change of shifts we are required to count the till. Unfortunately, there is a major technical problem with it at the end of my shift. As my coworker and I try to resolve the issue, a customer walks in. In front of us is a huge mess of receipts and an empty register drawer, while we ruffle our hair and write calculations down on pieces of paper. I’d consider it obvious that something is wrong.)

    Me: “Hi, there. I’m terribly sorry, but the till is broken at the moment. Is there anything I can do for you that doesn’t require a transaction?”

    Customer: *smiling understandingly* “Oh, I just need to pay for gas.”

    (I look at the pump’s registry. The customer owes us €20 flat.)

    Me: “Oh, now that’s convenient. That’s 20 exactly, so tell you what: If you have the proper amount on you and don’t need a receipt, you can just pay and be on your merry way while we try to sort this out. How does that sound?”

    Customer: *still friendly* “Hmm, that’s a pity. I need a receipt.”

    Me: “Well, I wouldn’t want you to wait longer than you really need to, so how about I write one by hand?”

    Customer: “No, that won’t do. I don’t like those. I’d prefer one printed by a machine.”

    Me: “All right… I’m very sorry, but in that case I will have to ask you to wait. If you change your mind, please don’t hesitate to tell us.”

    (She nods and strolls around the store for a bit as my coworker and I finally try one last thing – successfully. At least I can log on again. At this point, the customer has been waiting for about 2-3 minutes, tops. I put in the empty drawer and flash the biggest smile I can muster.)

    Me: “Again, I apologize for the delay, but at least we can take care of you now. Okay, that’ll be €20 exactly, please.”

    (As I say this, the customer slams the money down on the counter and gives me a death glare.)

    Customer: “Ridiculous! You should be ashamed, keeping me waiting like this! This was the worst service I have ever gotten!”

    (She curses under her breath as she leaves. Without her receipt.)

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