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  • Bigotry Is Not On The Menu
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  • Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Will Find It Or Dime Trying

    | NH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (I work in a grocery store. There are little trash cans between the register and the little counter with the card payment system. I’m giving the customer her change when a coin falls into the trash bucket. Most customers brush it off and leave.)

    Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry. Let me get that for you” *find the dime and give it to her* “Well, have a nice day!”

    Customer: “There should be another dime. I need my dime.”

    Me: “Well, okay, let me look again.” *I look in the trash and around the ground* “Are you sure it wasn’t one dime,  ma’am?”

    Customer: “No! Let me look.” *she then proceeds to pull out all the trash, tossing it onto my belt, then pouring out all the garbage*

    Bagger: “What’s wrong?”

    Me: “She lost her dime.”

    (My bagger then starts searching the surrounding area for the dime.)

    Customer: *stops after about 10 minutes of searching and looks straight at me* “Oh, well, it’s just a dime.” *she leaves*

    Me: *to the next customer* “Hi, how are you today?”

    (I’m laughing pretty hard by now, as I could barely keep from cracking up while watching this lady. I’m not even mad.)

    Customer #2: “If she took any longer, I would’ve just given her a dollar!”

    Coming In For War Paint

    | Bethesda, MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

    (I’m a manager at a popular home supply store in the paint supplies department. I’m filling orders for paint, because the work is getting so backed up, when a clearly angry customer approaches the desk. One of the employees talks to the lady for a while before she starts screaming for a manager. The employee points in my direction and waves at me to come over. I drop what I’m doing and walk over.)

    Customer: “HELLOOOOOO!”

    Me: “Hello there! How can I help you?”

    (She lifts a nearly empty can and slams it on the counter.)

    Customer: “You dip-s***s sold me the wrong color! My living room is RUINED!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I understand you are frustrated, but please refrain from using coarse language. What color were you trying to get?”

    Customer: “A DIFFERENT ONE! YOU gave me a MUCH darker color than what’s on this swatch!”

    Me: “Here, let me see what you have.”

    (The customer hands me a paint swatch with a honey-color circled in marker. I look at the paint and it matches exactly.)

    Me: “Is this the color that’s on your walls now?”

    Customer: “YES! How many times do I have to say it?! It’s hideous and YOUR fault!”

    Me: “By chance, did you try a sample of the paint first? To see what it looked like with the normal lighting in your room? The samples are quite inexpensive and allow you to try out a few different colors to make sure you like something before—”

    Customer: “WHY would I spend money on a SAMPLE?! SAMPLES are FREE!”

    Me: *glazing over* “This is paint we’re talking about. We give you enough to cover a small area. It’s not like the sample has noth—”

    Customer: “You need to fix this mess you made NOW!! You ruined my living room! Now you’re going to fix it!”

    Me: “We are not responsible for you not liking the paint you picked out. I CAN mix up some samples for you to take ho—”

    Customer: “And YOU need to come to my house to paint my living room!”

    Me: “That’s not going to happen.”

    Customer: “And you’re going to do it for free to make up for the distress you’ve caused.”

    Me: “That is DEFINITELY not going to happen.”

    Customer: “And you’re going to refund me the price of the paint!”

    Me: “That is also not happening.”

    Customer: “AND I want a gift certificate to show me how sorry you are for the headache you’ve caused!”

    Me: “In that case, that will definitely never happen.”

    Customer: “Then give me my next room’s worth of paint for free!”

    Me: “Absolutely not.”

    Customer: *shrugs* “Oh well, it was worth a try.”

    (She then turned around and left without her empty paint cans.)

    Failed On The First Rung

    | Sweden | Crazy Requests, Technology

    (I’m working at a known computer games chain, and one day I get this call:)

    Caller: “Hi, it’s me.”

    Me: *not recognising the voice* “Hello? I’m not sure I kn—”

    Caller: “Look, I bought a game from you yesterday and now I need help.”

    Me: “Okay, what game wa—”

    Caller: “The one you sold me. You know. Yesterday. I’m stuck now at the ladder. How do I get up?”

    Me: “Ehm, I sell lots of games everyd—”

    Caller: “Look, it’s just the ladder!”

    Me: “I’m sure there are online guides. If not, we sell hint books for mos—”

    Caller: “God, are you slow?! I don’t want a hint book, and I don’t have time checking things up online! Just tell me how to get up the d*** ladder!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I don’t even know what game you are playing, and—”

    Caller: “How hard can it be! You sold me this game! Just tell me!”

    Me: “Sir, I’m sorry but I don’t play every game there is and I wasn’t even here yesterday, but it’s—”

    Caller: “Never mind!” *click*

    Toiling In The Toilet

    | TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque

    Me: “Thank you for calling. My name is [My Name]. Whom do I have the pleasure of speaking with tonight?”

    Customer: “Listen, this is going to be an odd request, but I need you to bring me some toilet paper.”

    Me: *already knowing this is a prank call* “I wish I could, sir.”

    Customer: “Well, why can’t you?”

    Me: “Because I’m not at your house, sir.”

    Customer: “No, see, I’m not at my house. I’m in the back.”

    Me: “In the back… of one of our stores?”

    Customer: “Yes. And there’s no toilet paper back here, so I need you to bring me some.”

    Me: “Okay, sir. And which store are you located at?”

    Customer: *sighs* “Listen… why are you playing games with me?”

    Me: “I’m not, sir. I’m simply asking because the store you are in may not be located in the same place, or the same state, that I’m in.”

    Customer: *long pause* “F*** it, I’m just going to use my hand.”  *click*

    Trying To Copyright The Wrong

    | ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

    (A customer comes to me a wallet sized photo of a baby that was clearly taken in a studio.)

    Customer: “Can you enlarge this for me?”

    Me: “Oh, was this taken by a professional?”

    Customer: “Yes, of cour— No. No, it wasn’t.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. Unfortunately, without written permission from the photographer, I can’t copy it.”

    Customer: “I don’t care about copyright.”

    Me: “I do. Company policy says that we can’t copy any professional photos.”

    Customer: “No, it wasn’t professional. The mother took it. Can you just show me how to do it in self-serve?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but it looks professional, so I can’t assist you with it.”

    Customer: “It’s not professional!”

    Me: “It looks professional to me, so unfortunately, I can’t copy it.”

    Customer: “Are you serious?”

    Me: “Yes. I’m serious.”

    Customer: *rudely* “Fine. Are you working tomorrow?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “UGH! Fine, I’ll just buy this then.”

    (I meet her at the register to ring up her item.)

    Customer: *in a snotty, ‘I’m better than you’ tone* “Life is too short to follow the rules.”

    Me: “It’s also too short to get fired.”

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