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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Getting Crabby At The Box Office

    | US | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I work in the box office of a theater company that performs different plays throughout the summer. Occasionally we get calls from people assuming we are a cinema.)

    Me: “Box office. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Uh, yeah, can I place an order with you?”

    Me: “Yes, this is the box office. You can order tickets with us.”

    Customer: “Okay, I’m gonna get five crab cakes, two orders of—”

    Me: “I’m sorry. What was that?”

    Customer: “I want five orders of the crab cakes, and—”

    Me: “I’m sorry. This is the box office of the theater at [Town].”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “The theater at [Town].”

    Customer: “[Town]?”

    Me: “Yes. This is the box office.”

    Customer: “The box office.”

    Me: “Yes.” *silence* “Did you want to order some tickets to a play?”

    Customer: “… Yeah. So, I want five crab cakes and two ord—”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. This isn’t a restaurant. This is the box office of the theater.”

    Customer: “So you don’t have any crab cakes?”

    Me: “I’m afraid not, sir. We only sell tickets to plays.”

    Customer: “Okay, sounds great, thanks.” *hangs up*

    A Rude Awakening

    | New York, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

    (I ask a client to call me the morning of the next day to discuss layouts for his website. He ends up calling at around 3:00 pm instead.)

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but I won’t be able to help you right now. Please ca—”

    Client: “Wait. I thought you said to call in the morning!”

    Me: “Yes, I did, but it’s 3:00 in the afternoon now. I’m really busy right now though so we’ll have to reschedule.”

    Client: “YOU SAID MORNING! I just woke up so it’s still MY morning! You need to assist me now!”

    Must Have Been Smoking A Half-Pipe

    | Denton, TX, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Technology

    (I work the front in a local computer repair shop and am in charge of answering phones and scheduling service. The phone rings and I answer.)

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Do you guys have any skateboards?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry, sir. We are actually a computer repair company.”

    Caller: “Oh…” *long pause* “So, do you guys have any skateboards?”

    Me: “… No, sir. We only sell and work on computers.”

    Caller: “Oh. Okay.” *hangs up*

    Dressing Up The Size Of The Back Room

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Crazy Requests

    (I am helping a bride order her dress because we don’t have her size and the color that she wants in store for her to purchase of the rack. Her mother is more than irritated at this.)

    Mother: “Out of all these dresses! I don’t see why you guys don’t have every dress, in every color, in every size.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, we have over 100 wedding dresses styles in at least 2-3 colors, over 50 bridesmaid styles in over 50 colors, and we carry sizes 0-14 misses and 16-30 women’s.”

    Mother: “It doesn’t look like you have that many dresses here.”

    Me: “That’s because we don’t carry every dress, in every size, in every color.”

    Doesn’t Provide THAT Kind Of Customer Service

    | NS, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque

    (I have just started working at a small-town video store. I’m female, 20 years old, and look much younger. We have an ‘adult’ room in the back. Most customers who buy or rent the porn are middle-aged or elderly men, and are not remotely creepy. Most, in fact, were awkward around me at first because I looked like a teenage kid. They chat about the weather, they get their porn, and get out. One shift when I am working alone, one customer wanders into the store, heads straight to back room, and comes up to my till five minutes later with an armful of adult DVDs.)

    Customer: “Just these, please.”

    Me: “No problem, sir, give me a second to check the discs. That’ll be [total].”

    Customer: “Thanks.” *pays* “Hey, I’m from out of town, just in for two days. Do you have the number to the escort service?”

    Me: “Um, no. We actually don’t have one. This is a pretty small city.”

    Customer: “What!? No escort service? Well, what about a gentlemen’s club? With dancers?”

    Me: “No, sorry, there’s actually no strip clubs, either.” *laughs nervously* “We don’t have much to do here…”

    Customer: *frowns* “Well, do you know anyone who works on the side? Someone a lonely out-of-town visitor can call and spend a few hours with?”

    Me: *wanting to die at this point* “I… are you asking me if I know any prostitutes, sir? I can assure you that I don’t.”

    Customer: “I’m not a cop or anything.”

    Me: “And I’m not exactly a pimp, sir.”

    Customer: “Why did I even come here!? This is the worst business trip I’ve ever been sent on! What do people do for fun around here anyway?!”

    (The customer stormed out. It probably took another hour for the color to come back to my face, and for the feeling of ‘ew,’ to wear off.)

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