Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Should Pre-Pray For A Good Pre-Pay

| Dallas, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

(All of the pumps at our gas station are self-serve, and have large white 6″x6″ signs adhered to them, with large red block lettering that reads, “PLEASE PREPAY OR PAY AT THE PUMP.” I’m focusing on some paperwork when I hear banging on the window.)

Customer: “TURN ON THE PUMP!” *pointing at her red oversized truck*

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you are at a prepay pump. You will need to prepay, pay at the pump, or leave a driver’s license before you can pump your gas.”

Customer: “I don’t have to do any of that!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I’m afraid you do. It wouldn’t be fair to our other customers if I just let you pump without paying or leaving a license first.”

Customer: “There is a list of people who don’t have to prepay or leave anything!”

Me: *looking for said list inside the fresh box of hell that surrounds me* “Ma’am, the only list we have is of bad check writers, and I’m sure you don’t want your name on that one.”

(Customer stomps back to her truck. I go back to my paperwork. About two minutes pass and I look out to see the same customer jumping up and down in front of everyone, screaming rhythmically…)

Customer: “TURN! ON! THE PUMP! TURN! ON! THE PUMP! TURN! ON! THE PUMP!”

Me: *through the intercom* “Ma’am, you are at a prepay pump. You can either prepay, pay at the pump, or leave a driver’s license before you can pump your gas.”

(Customer gets in her truck and peels out from the pump, to the main store across the parking lot, narrowly missing three other cars and a pedestrian, and then parks in the fire lane, directly in front of the main doors. The phone rings; it’s the manager from the main store.)

Manager: “Is there a list of people who don’t have to prepay or leave a driver’s license in there?”

Me: “No, sir. Just a list of bad check writers.”

Manager: “That’s what I thought. Thank you.” *hangs up*

(From across the parking lot, I see this customer exit the store just steaming. She gets back into her truck, and again peels out of the parking lot, again barely missing passing cars and pedestrians.)

Refunder Blunder, Part 16

| WA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(It has been an insanely busy Friday in our store. I’m the only manager, so I have spent the last six hours running from one customer to the next, dealing almost exclusively with entitled idiots. This is probably my seventh no-receipt-return of the day.)

Me: “Okay, so you don’t have a receipt? Did you purchase this at our store?”

Customer: “NO. I bought it at the north store.”

Me: “Oh, unfortunately I can’t look up the receipt because our system only tracks transactions for our store.”

(I’m about to elaborate that I can call the other store, but she is glaring at me, and I’m already fed up with her tone.)

Customer: *huffing* “Well, can’t you do merchandise credit? It’s obviously unused.”

Me: “No. I’m sorry, but we still need a receipt for credit or exchang—”

Customer: “WHY NOT?! It’s unused. Look at it, it’s obviously unused. I’m not driving up to the north store just for a receipt.”

Me: *giving up* “Without a receipt we have no proof of purchase.”

Customer: “Well, that’s pretty lame. It’s obviously unused. It’s not my fault you can’t find my receipt.”

Me: “…It’s not our fault we can’t find your receipt.”

(She blinked at me angrily before declaring she would never set foot in our store again. Good.)

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 15
Refunder Blunder, Part 14
Refunder Blunder, Part 13

Dealing With A Very Sour Lemon

| PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am a waiter at a very popular Italian restaurant chain. I am serving two middle-aged women. Customer #1 is a very frumpy woman, while Customer #2 is much nicer and does not make a single complaint. I start by welcoming them.)

Me: “Good evening, ladies, welcome to [Restaurant]! Would you like to try our—”

Customer #1: “Iced tea, unsweetened, with lemon.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but we have just run out of lemon. I could substitute it with a lime, if you’d like.”

Customer #1: “I can’t drink iced tea without the lemon! What kind of restaurant runs out of lemon?! Fine, I’ll have a diet soda with lemon, then.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m very sorry, but we’re out of lemon. We have iced tea and diet soda, but we’re out of lemon.”

Customer: “I CAN’T DRINK DIET SODA WITHOUT LEMON! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF FOR RUNNING OUT OF LEMONS!” *she calms down a bit* “Okay, I’ll have a water with lemon.”

(I see her friend mouth “Sorry!” at me. Later on, after the drink fiasco and their meals have been served, I come to check back on them.)

Me: “How are your meals so far, ladies?”

Customer #1: “My food is great, but the tines on my fork are too far apart, and I cannot twirl my pasta properly!”

Me: “Oh, I am very sorry, but these are the only forks we have.” *turning my attention towards Customer #2, as I’ve had enough of Customer #1’s complaints* “How is your food, ma’am?”

Customer #2: “Well, my dinner is excellent, young man. You are an outstanding server!”

(After they paid the check, which they had requested to be separate, I find that Customer #1 has left me a very disappointing tip, but Customer #2 has left me more than enough to make up for dealing with her friend’s outrageous behavior!)

Trying To Re-Coup The Coupon

| Westland, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(I am working the return desk at a major department store. We offer a dollar-off coupon for every x amount the customer spends, to be used at a later date. If the customer returns products from the original purchase and the return brings the total under x amount, it makes the dollar off coupon void.)

Me: “Okay, you are going to get $35.76 credited back to your Visa, and it will deactivate your [dollar off coupon].”

Customer: “What do you mean, it will deactivate it?!”

Me: “The coupon will no longer be valid. By returning these items, it drops your purchasing total below x amount, which was what you needed to earn the coupon.”

Customer: “But I had PLANS for that [dollar off coupon]! I was going to buy my daughter new shoes!”

Me: “I apologize for that, ma’am, but I cannot override the system. Once you return products and the total drops below x amount, the coupon is no longer valid.”

Customer: “Well, I still have the coupon right here!” *waves the physical [dollar off coupon] in the air* “I’m not gonna give it to you, so I am just going to take it right up to the register and use it! HA!” *she actually laughed right in my face*

Me: “Well, it actually deactivated electronically, not manually, so the cashier would see that it does not have any balance on it. You can—”

Customer: “But, but… THAT’S NOT FAIR!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but if you would like, you can make another purchase, and if that purchase and your old purchase combine to equal more than x amount, I can issue you a new dollar off coupon.”

Customer: “No, no, no! I shouldn’t have to spend more money. I already earned that dollar-off coupon when I made THIS purchase! You are just trying to rip us hard working people off so you can pocket more money! I was going to get my daughter shoes, so I guess you want my daughter to walk around barefoot, looking homeless, and catching some wild disease. You want my daughter to die!”

(She storms off, exiting our store for the rest of the mall, still raving about how I want to kill her child.)

Me: *to my coworker* “Well, if she needed shoes for her daughter that badly, maybe she shouldn’t be purchasing $70 worth of nail polish and fragrance.”

(That customer called to complain to my manager, saying I “threatened the life of her and her child,” and chased her out of the store. Of course, my coworker vouched for me about the threats, but even my manager didn’t believe that I chased her out of the store!)

This Customer Is A Time Bomb

| IL, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

(My patron is a young boy of about seven or eight. He is using the online card catalog and looks stumped.)

Me: “Can I help you find something?”

Patron: “I want a book on how to build a nuclear bomb.”

Me: “Uh… I don’t think we’re going to have anything like that in our collection.”

Patron: “Well, how can I learn to make one, then?”

Me: “I would suggest a PhD in physics.”

Patron: “Oh! Here’s one!” *shows me a catalog record for a book called “How to Build a Nuclear Bomb”*

Me: “Oh, see, actually that book is about the global economics, politics, and resources that would…” *noticing patron’s blank stare* “You know what? Yeah, I can get you that book.”

(A couple of weeks later, the young patron comes in to check out his reserve.)

Patron: “Uh… I don’t think this is what I want. It doesn’t have any nuclear bomb plan in it, or anything.”

Me: “Yes, well, like I said before, we won’t have anything like that here.”

Patron: “Oh, well, I found a can of gas in the garage, and I have some matches. Do you think I could do something with that?”

Me: “Uh… stay in school?”

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