Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

The Place With The Dragon Menu

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Me: “Does anyone have any questions regarding the menu?”

Guest: “Yes. I see here that you have a dragon sushi roll on your menu. Now is that REAL dragon or imitation dragon?”

(I chuckle and smile and wait maybe three seconds before I realize that this is a legitimate question. I look at her friends who are mortified and respond.)

Me: “Oh, no, ma’am, that is absolutely real dragon! In fact here at [Restaurant Group] we’ve employed an entire department to make special trips to England to hunt and slay dragons. I believe the dragon we have today was killed two days ago and picked up this morning from Savannah.”

Guest: “Well, good, because I just absolutely can’t stand imitation dragon.”

Weathering Demanding Customers

| Bangor, Wales, UK | Crazy Requests, Tourists/Travel

(I work in a large supermarket in a tourist-y area. The last few years there has been almost persistent snow cover on the mountains from November through February. This December, however, has been really mild with temperatures consistently in the high single figures or low double figures. I am approached as I am stacking some shelves.)

Customer: “WHERE’S THE SNOW?!”

Me: “Erm… excuse me, sorry? Snow? I don’t follow.”

Customer: “You know! SNOW! I was promised there’d be snow!”

Me: *thinking he must mean a product* “Can you describe it? I can show you our seasonal aisle if you want to browse for tree decorations and ornaments.”

Customer: “No! I want ACTUAL snow. Like, falling from the sky. They said it would be the coldest winter on record. I booked a holiday here especially!”

Me: “Erm… sorry that the weather’s mild. I don’t know what you want me to do about it, though?”

Customer: “Tell me why there’s no snow!”

Me: “Well, the wind is coming from the south-west, instead of the north. I guess it’s warmer where it came from than where it’s going and keeping our temperatures mild.”

Customer: *walks off* “THERE’S NO SNOW!”

(I was left there standing and wondering what had just happened.)

Do You Have Any ID-ea Who I Am?

| Baltimore, MD, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(A middle-aged customer approaches the counter with her male companion.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am. Did you find everything you needed?”

Customer: “Mhm.” *texting*

(I scan her items and take her card. I notice the back of the card isn’t signed.)

Me: “Ma’am, can I see your ID?”

Customer: “Hmm? I don’t have it on me. It’s in my car.”

Me: “Well, I need to see ID before I can complete this transaction.”

Customer: “Well… I don’t HAVE anything.”

Me: “Then I can complete this transaction.” *hands back her card*

Customer: “Wait! I still want this stuff!”

Me: “Then maybe you can go to your car and get your ID?”

(She just stares at me for a second.)

Customer: “I don’t think I brought it.”

Me: “Okay… Do you have something that has your signature on it so I can compare it to the one on the screen?”

Customer: *thinks for a moment* “I could just sign my name on my card.”

Me: “No, something like a library card that already has a signature on it. It’s required I check this for all customers’ security.”

Customer: *looks at her companion and shrugs* “I don’t know. I’m me.”

Me: “Yes, but I need to make sure that your identity matches the card.”

(She starts looking distressed.)

Customer: “Babe, tell her my name.”

Man: “Yeah, that’s not what she means.”

Me: “Here’s what I can do for you: I can go ahead and put these things on hold, put your name on it, and when you get back with your ID, you can let either me or whoever is at the cashier know you have items on hold.”

Customer: “But I thought you said you had to verify my identity!”

Me: “Yes, but I don’t need that to put things on hold. This doesn’t require a credit card.”

Customer: “You could just write my name down and use that for my ID!”

(The man actually sighs and holds his head in his hand.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but writing your name down isn’t going to cut it for ID.”

Customer: “BUT I’M ME! I don’t know what else I can do to tell you that!”

Me: “You can get your ID and show me that.”

(This continues for several minutes. She threatens to go to another cashier. There isn’t one. I explain that every cashier checks ID every single time, even for small purchases and customers we personally know.)

Me: *frustrated* “The ONLY forms of payment that don’t require an ID are cash and gift cards.”

Customer: “But I don’t HAVE any cash!”

Me: “Then you need your ID. I can’t help you until you either have cash or have your ID.”

Customer: “Oh, but this card was a gift! *holding up her credit card* Soooo, I don’t NEED an ID!”

Me: “No, THIS is a gift card.” *points to gift card display* “You have a credit card. Like I have been saying, I can’t help you until you get cash or have your ID.

Man: Let’s just go get it from the car.”

(The two of them bicker a little and finally leave. Another customer comes up, having seen the exchange.)

Other Customer: “What a ding-dong! She should just pay with a check. Everyone knows you don’t need ID for those!”

Me: *sigh* “Yes, you do…”

Has No Hang Ups About Hanging Up

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Spouses & Partners

(In our call center, we are not allowed to hang up on customers unless they have been warned at least once, and are either using improper/suggestive language or are calling just to talk about something that is in no way relevant to our company. We are also not allowed to solicit a transfer to a supervisor. I’ve been on this call 30 minutes already:)

Me: “Sir, I’ve already told you, we are unable to do what you are requesting. You’re typically allowed two options in these situations, and I’m bending the rules by offering you the third option.”

Caller: “I don’t care. Give me your supervisor. They can give me what I want.”

(Our ‘supervisors’ are people who have desired and proven their ability to be well versed in policy and have access to a few minor additional programs. I am also one, but it isn’t my assigned day to work as one. I call.)

Supervisor: “It’s [Supervisor].”

Me: “Hey, it’s me. Here’s what’s up.” *I explain the situation*

Supervisor: “Send him through.”

Caller: “Hi, I was told that if I was transferred to you, you have the ability to do what I want, and that is [nonrefundable service already purchased] refunded and for me to have a free one.”

Supervisor: “NO, you weren’t. You were—”

Caller: “Yes, I was and you need to give it to me, because if you don’t, that’s false advertising. You need to give me what I was promised or I—”

Supervisor: “Sir, I’m talking and will not tolerate interruption. As I was saying, you were given an extra option that my representative bent the rules to offer. I know what you were offered because I’m sitting next to her, and she is the most lenient and patient person we have. I’m her opposite. When you were transferred you lost that option because you didn’t take it when you had the chance. Now you have three options: [standard option a], [standard option b], or hanging up and deciding later. If you don’t decide, I will pick for you.”

Caller: “But I don’t want—”

Supervisor: “Okay, I’m deciding for you. I am hanging up. When you decide, call back.”

(My supervisor knows me so well because we always sit together. At work, in the car, and at home. We were hired at the same time, advanced at the same time, and got married six years ago.)

All Smoke, No Mirrors

| Chicago, IL, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Technology

(A guest I checked in less than two hours ago is walking up to the front desk with all her luggage, ready to leave.)

Me: “How may I help you?”

Guest: “I want to check out!”

Me: “Is everything all right? I see you are checking out early.”

Guest: “I don’t want to talk about it; I want a receipt stating that I have a zero balance.”

Me: “All right, one moment. Let me get your receipt out of the back. My printer is down.”

(I come back a few seconds later with her receipt.)

Me: “Are you sure everything is all right? You seem upset and I don’t want you leaving upset.”

Guest: “Yes, actually, you can tell your people I do not appreciate them recording me while I am sleeping!”

Me: “I’m sorry, what do you mean?”

Guest: “There was a little red light flashing above my bed!”

Me: “Oh! You mean the smoke detector. That isn’t a recording device.”

Guest: “You don’t think I know the difference between a smoke detector and a recording device?! I know that if there is a blinking red that means the camera is on and recording! So please delete any footage you have of me.”

Me: “Ma’am, I am really sorry. I promise you we do not have recording devices in our guests rooms. It honestly was a smoke detector.”

Guest: “IT WAS NOT A SMOKE DETECTOR!”

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