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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Can’t Get Nicotine From A Teen

    | Grand Forks, ND, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Wild & Unruly

    Cashier: “Hello, sir. What can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “Do you always talk to your customers like that? How rude!”

    Cashier: “Excuse me, sir. I’m sorry to have upset you. Was there something I can grab for you today?”

    Customer: “Shut up. Just shut up! I just want [Cigarette Brand] and that is all. Can you do that?!”

    (By this time, the cashier was turning his back away from the customer to search for the item. He hid his face from the rude man, and asked what the box looked like.)

    Customer: “How dare you turn your back to me, boy! Hey, are you listening to me?”

    Cashier: “Sorry, sir, I am looking for your cigarettes.”

    Customer: “Well, hurry up, then! Jeez, don’t you know what they look like?”

    Cashier: “Well, no, sir. I do not. I am afraid I do not smoke, so could you tell me a little more about the pro—”

    Customer: “It’s the smallest box there! Hurry up, I’ve not got all day!! Typical of [Store], always hiring foolish, stupid kids on a department they have no knowledge of. Look, it’s grey, if that helps you at all. God d***, kid, hurry the h*** up!”

    (I come over to assist our cashier. The customer is leering over the counter and the cashier is slightly going through a bit of a panicked frenzy.)

    Me: “Sir, what seems to be the problem here?”

    Customer: “Your dumb-a** associate doesn’t know what his smokes are and I am upset that you chose to hire him. Your foolish management and your stupid associates can’t do anything right! I am out of here!”

    Me: “I am sorry to hear that, sir, but—”

    (Before I can say another word, the customer storms out of the store, not looking back once. I quickly open up the gate to greet the cashier to assure him the customer is gone.)

    Me: “Hey, hey now. No worries, the guy is gone. Are you okay?”

    Cashier: “I think so…”

    Me: “He was just angry because it’s a Monday. You’re all right.”

    Cashier: “I suppose so.”

    Me: “So, what happened?”

    (The cashier then told me everything that happened, and I felt bad so I treated him to a coffee. But that was not the only thing bothering him.)

    Me: “Well, what could possibly be wrong that you are a bit unaware of the kinds of cigarettes out here?”

    Cashier: “It’s not so much that I don’t know all of them. I know some, but I never smoke. But it doesn’t help describing the color to me…”

    Me: “Why is that?”

    Cashier: “I’m colorblind.”

    Pestering Pest Control

    | TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

    (I work in the call center for a property management company that offers 24-hour maintenance and pest control.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

    Resident: *near hysterics* “There’s a pigeon in front of my house! It’s just sitting on the sidewalk!”

    Me: *confused* “How can we help you, ma’am?”

    Resident: “You need to have pest control out right now! It could be carrying bird flu! I have little kids in the house!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m very sorry, but we cannot have pest control out for that. It will probably just move along by itself.”

    Resident: “NO! They need to be out right away! I have errands to run and it’s just sitting there blocking my driveway!”

    (Seeing that this was going nowhere, I just took her address and told her I’d notify pest control. Needless to say they had a good laugh about it.)

    Putting You In The Hot Seat

    | Paris, France | Crazy Requests, Transportation

    (I am on the bus home when a middle-aged woman gets on. The bus is far from empty, but there are several free seats left. Nonetheless, she approaches a teenage girl sitting down towards the front.)

    Lady: “I need that seat.”

    Girl: *in halting, heavily-accented French* “I’m sorry, I don’t…”

    Lady: “I NEED that seat. I need it now. I have a pass. I need it.”

    Girl: “I… there are other…”

    Lady: “BUT I NEED THAT SEAT.”

    (The girl apparently gave up, and decided to move to one of the free seats nearby. The woman sat her bag down on the vacated seat and proceeded to stand next to it with a faint air of triumph for the rest of her journey – all of three stops down the road.)

    No Sub-Price For The Sub-Continent

    , | Liverpool, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Money

    (I’m having my eyebrows threaded at a beauty stand I frequent in the middle of the main thoroughfare of our local shopping mall. The business is owned and run by an Asian family, and they offer very competitive prices. They also offer threading for other facial hair. While I’m there, there are two technicians, both young Asian ladies. An older Asian man approaches Technician #1, who is working on my eyebrows, while Technician #2 is having a conversation with someone on the phone in her native language.

    Man: “How much is it to have my whole face done?”

    Technician #1: “£22.”.

    Man: “I’m Indian.”

    Technician #1: “Yes. £22.”

    Man: “What? Even for a fellow Indian?”

    (At this point, Technician #2 puts the phone down, and says something to Technician #1 in their language. The Indian man waits, expectantly. She addresses him in English.)

    Technician #2: “We’re from Pakistan. £22.”

    (The man glares and stalks off, before the two technicians burst into laughter. I ask what I’ve missed.)

    Technician #1: “We’re Indian.”

    Technician #2: “We always get these older guys trying to haggle us down ‘because we’re all Indian.’ India’s a big place, and we have a business to run!”

    Single Minded Demands

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Hotels & Lodging, Wild & Unruly

    (Sometimes our sales manager gives some of her friends a certificate for a free night’s stay at our hotel. I am checking in such a stay.)

    Customer: “Hello, checking in? The name’s [Customer].”

    Me: “Right, Mrs. [Customer]. I see that this is a free night’s stay? May I see the certificate?”

    Customer: “Right here.” *hands it over*

    Me: “Okay, I see that’s in order. Here are your keys and sign here.”

    (She signs and leaves, waving goodbye. A few minutes later, she comes back with a teen girl in tow.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but I’m supposed to have a room with two beds in it. This is a room with only one bed!”

    Me: “I’m terribly sorry; let me check the reservation again.” *checks* “Ma’am, the reservation says that a single bed was booked, not two. Furthermore, I’m afraid we don’t have any more two-bed rooms.”

    Customer: “This is outrageous! I know the owner, you know. You’re just trying to trick me, because I’m a free stay and I’m not paying!”

    Me: “I don’t see why… uh… anyone would do that.”

    (At this point, I start to get nervous, because our sales manager is married to the owner, so it is possible she’s telling the truth. Fortunately, the teen speaks up.)

    Teen: “Mom! Didn’t you say that you were going alone until I agreed to come with you at the last minute? Doesn’t it make sense then that you would book only a single bed for yourself?”

    Customer: “I… I… It must’ve slipped my mind.”

    (Caught, red-faced, she slinked off with her daughter. A few minutes later, I got a call from her room asking meekly for a cot. I got her one, and reported the incident to the managers. Soon, she is their friend no more, and I never saw her again!)

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