Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,186 thumbs up)
  • Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Triply Unappetizing

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work at as a hostess in a popular chain restaurant. We have an appetizer that lets you pick and choose three appetizers. The customer would get a smaller sample size of each. In this situation I’m taking a to-go order, in person.)

    Customer: “I’d like to get your triple appetizer. I want to get the buffalo wings, but honey flavor.”

    Me: “Sure thing! What other two appetizers would you like?”

    Customer: *stares* “I want the honey wings.”

    Me: “Okay. Just to be clear, you’re saying you would like the triple with your three choices as the honey wings, right?”

    Customer: *annoyed* “I don’t think you’re listening to me at all, so I’m going to repeat myself. I want a triple with honey wings.”

    Me: “Yes, I understand that. But in a triple you can choose any three of these appetizers.” *points to list*

    Customer: *angry now, condescendingly* “You obviously aren’t listening to me, still. I’m going to repeat myself one last time, slowly so you can understand me, okay? I want you to listen to what I’m saying to you. I WANT A TRIPLE, WITH HONEY WINGS.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I know that you want the honey wings in a triple, but I need to know which other two choices you want. If you don’t want any other choice, you can get an order of the wings by themselves.”

    (The man glares at me, and is visibly more angry. The man’s son, who I didn’t even see behind him, stands next to his father and speaks up.)

    Customer’s Son: “Dad, I think she’s trying to say that you get to pick three of these things when you get a triple.”

    Customer: *grumbles* “I’ll just get it how it’s pictured, but with honey wings. That’s all for me.”

    Me: “All right, your total is [Total] and it should be ready in about fifteen minutes.”

    (About fifteen minutes later, I give the man his food. He takes the box out of the bag to inspect it.)

    Customer: “Why are the food portions so much smaller than a regular appetizer? And why aren’t these egg rolls cut like in the picture? And what sauce is this?!”

    Me: “The portions are smaller because its a sampler. It might not look like much, but it really is a good amount of food! The egg rolls aren’t cut because they stay warmer when you don’t cut them. That sauce is extra honey sauce for your wings.”

    (The customer looked at his son, shook his head, sighed audibly, and left.)

    Getting All Theatrical About It

    | Albuquerque, NM, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

    (I work at a movie rental place and this is a conversation that I had with a customer and her son the other day. A customer comes walking up to the register. He is about 13.)

    Customer: “I am looking for a movie to rent.”

    Me: “Okay. What is the title and I will look it up?”

    Customer:Oculus.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but that movie will be in theaters Friday.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay.”

    (He walks away. Few minutes later he comes back and asks for another movie.)

    Me: “What movie are you looking for?”

    Customer:The Purge: Anarchy.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but that movie hasn’t even come out in theaters yet.”

    (The customer walks away. A few minutes later I am helping someone else and the same customer walks back up and starts talking to another associate. I overhear him ask for another movie.)

    Customer: “I am looking for The Quiet Ones.”

    Other Associate: “Okay, let me look that up for you.”

    (I mention to the associate and the customer that that movie has not come out yet in theaters. The customer walks away. A few minutes later the boy comes back up with his mom.)

    Mother: “I want to talk to a manager.”

    Me: “That’s me. How can I help you?”

    Mother: “I have sent my son up here three times looking for movies and every time he tells me that you do not have it and that they are coming out in theaters.”

    Me: “I understand, ma’am, but those movies have not come out yet and because they have not come out we do not have a release date for the DVDs. I do apologize for that. Is there another movie that you are looking for that I can help you find?”

    Mother: “NO. I WANT THOSE MOVIES AND I DEMAND THAT YOU GET ME THE DVD COPIES OF THOSE!”

    (At this point I am taken aback that she is yelling at me to get her the DVD copies of movies that have not even been released in the theaters.)

    Me: “I am sorry but there is no way for me to do that.”

    Mother: “Well, how can you offer to rent out the newest movies if you do not have them? I see the commercials on the TV so that must mean that you have them. I bet they are in your back room and you just don’t want to walk back there and get them.”

    Me: “I am sorry, but we do not have them. There is nothing that I can do for you. You can go see the movies in the theaters or if you want the DVD copies then they usually release them a few months after it has left the theaters. That is all that I can suggest.”

    Mother: “You are no help. Your customer service skills suck, and I hope you are happy because my son really wanted to see these movies and now you are letting him down. I hope you feel like s***!”

    (She demands the number to our corporate office and my name.)

    Me: “Here is the number and my name. I again apologize that you are unhappy with our store but there is nothing that I can do.”

    (She headed towards the exit, complaining how we don’t help customers and don’t have movies.)

    Dishing Out The Cold Truth

    | UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (It’s been snowing steadily all day. Still, customers come to shop for electronics and ask stupid questions.)

    Customer: “I bought [Satellite TV Service] here, but I’m having trouble with it. Can you help?”

    Me: “I usually handle computer questions, not TV questions, but I can try. What’s going on?”

    Customer: “The channels just aren’t coming through right. They’re all pixelated, and they keep cutting out, and sometimes there’s nothing to see or hear at all.”

    Me: “That’s not good. When did it start?”

    Customer: “This morning.”

    Me: “I haven’t heard of any problems from [Satellite TV Provider]. I’m guessing that it has something to do with the snowstorm. The snow could be interfering with your signal, especially if some has accumulated in the dish of your receiver.”

    Customer: “Can you check?”

    Me: “Can I check what?”

    Customer: “Can you get on your computer and check to see if I have snow on my dish?”

    Me: “…no, I can’t do that.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    Me: “The store computers don’t have access to information about whether a person’s satellite dish has snow in it. I’m sorry.”

    Customer: “Well, how can I find out?”

    Me: “You could try going home and looking at it…”

    Out Back Fishing

    | Nanuet, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

    (I’m the manager on duty. At the time I’m back in the aquatics department feeding the fish when a customer approaches.)

    Me: “Hello. Can I help you with anything, Ma’am?”

    Customer: *points to one of the tanks* “Do you have any more of these in the back?”

    Me: *I assume she’s gesturing to the fake plants, which we sell* “Possibly, but we also have them out on the floor. I can show you the aisle.”

    (I take her over to the decor aisle.)

    Customer: “No, not those!” *walks back over to the tank, jabbing her finger at the glass*  ”Those!”

    Me: “The… fish?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “I’m… sorry. But, ah… no. These tanks are the only place we keep the fish. I don’t put them in the stockroom.”

    Customer: *huffs and walks away*

    Emotional Blackmail Was Worth A Shot

    | Townsend, TN, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Pets & Animals, Tourists/Travel

    (I own a kennel which provides both boarding & grooming services. I answer the phone:)

    Me: “Good morning, [Kennel]. May I help you?”

    Caller: “I need to board my dog. We’re here on vacation.”

    Me: “Very good. What dates would you like to board your dog?”

    Caller: “We need to bring her in today. We wanna go to Dollywood!”

    Me: “We do have space for her, but we require proof of vaccinations: rabies, the distemper shot, which includes several other vaccines in it, and also bordetella, which is kennel cough.”

    Caller: “WHAT?! We don’t have that with us! You HAVE to take our dog!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry, but we’re required by law that every dog has to have current vaccinations. It protects not only your dog, but all the other dogs here as well. You could have your vet call us and confirm that your dog is protected. If you don’t have a vet, I can give you the number of several veterinary practices near you, and they can administer the needed shots today.”

    Caller: “NO! You WILL take our dog! You don’t want to make my children cry!”

    (I can then hear the woman talking to her family:)

    Caller: “This mean woman just told me that she won’t let you go to Dollywood! She’s going to ruin our vacation!”

    (I can then hear wailing (as if on cue) from several children.)

    Caller: “Now look what you’ve done! You made my children cry! I hope that makes you happy! Now are you going to take our dog or are you going to ruin our vacation?!”

    Me: I’m sorry, but without proof of vaccinations, I can’t take your dog.”

    Caller: “Well f*** you! You ruined our vacation!” *hangs up*

    Me: Well, all righty then!

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