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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    The Cards Are Stacked Against You

    | NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I’m 13 or 14, and I’m working at my lacrosse team’s bake sale.)

    Customer: “Hi. Can I have a brownie?”

    Me: “Yes, thank you. That will be a dollar.”

    Customer: “Do you take credit cards?”

    (Moment of silence.)

    Me: “No… we don’t.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    Me: “Ma’am, this is a bake sale.”

    Customer: “Let me speak to your manager!”

    Me: “I don’t—”

    (My teammate walks over.)

    Teammate: “What seems to be the problem here?”

    Customer: “She says you don’t accept credit cards. Is that true? Are you the manager?”

    Teammate: “Yes, I am. We’re getting a slot in half an hour. Thank you for your time.”

    (The customer walks away, mumbling about insolent businesses.)

    Me: “Well… that was odd.”

    Off Track Call Back

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I work in a call center where the supervisor department closes at 11pm. It is now 10:30pm.)

    Customer: *explanation of lengthy issue that I cannot fix*

    Me: “All right. In order to take care of this issue, I will need to go ahead and transfer your call over to my supervisors, and they will assist you further.”

    Customer: “NO! I will NOT be transferred! You have to fix this for me!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I do not have the ability in my system to fix this for you. My supervisors will be more than happy to take care of this for you, though, so let me just transfer you—”

    Customer: “NO! NO TRANSFERS! FIX IT! I’m not hanging up until you fix it for me!”

    (This goes back and forth for almost 45 minutes, with me continuously telling her I cannot fix it for her, and her demanding that I do.)

    Customer: “FINE! Just transfer me already!”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but our supervisor department closed 15 minutes ago. I can have one of them call you back tomorrow.”

    Customer: “WHAT?! You purposefully kept me on the phone after they closed! You just didn’t want me to talk to them! I’m going to call my lawyer about this!” *slams phone down*

    Coworker: “Wow… Guess that’s a callback, then.”

    No Helium For The Airhead, Part 2

    | TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (Because of a helium shortage, we currently have a limited amount of tanks to use on balloon orders. We run out in the middle of a day that has a special event going on.)

    Store Owner: “I’m sorry to say we can’t fill any more balloons unless it’s with air. If you want any helium balloons, you will have to go to [other store known for its poor service].”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous! I need 20 balloons and you’re telling me I can’t have them now?”

    Store Owner: “I’ve called in for more tanks, but I won’t have them in before tomorrow, so if you need them you’ll have to go elsewhere.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous! You should have planned better and ordered more tanks to begin with.”

    Me: “We could try that, but we’re only given four tanks a week. Hospitals have a priority on helium for their machines, so their demands come first.”

    Customer: “If the hospital needs helium so badly, why don’t they make their own?”

    Me: “Helium isn’t man-made. That’s why.”

    Customer: *scoffs* “Yes, it is. How else do you think they put it in those tanks?”

    Store Owner: “They trap it when they mine, but—”

    Customer: “That is the dumbest thing I’ve heard. I can’t believe you idiots believe that shortage crap. I’m going to [other store]. I bet they won’t make up crap to get out of work!” *storms out*

    Store Owner: “I bet he also thinks H2O is an energy drink.”

    Related:
    No Helium For The Airhead

    Saying Bi To Singledom Any Way Possible

    | Torrance, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Love/Romance

    (I’m female and helping an elderly customer and his 18 year old grandson at the register. As I am ringing him up, he starts up a conversation.)

    Customer: “How would you like to go out with my grandson?”

    Me: *smiling* “I’m sorry, sir.”

    Customer: “Aw, come on.” *points to grandson* “He’s good-looking and needs someone.”

    Me: *feeling a little awkward* “I have a boyfriend. Sorry, sir.”

    Customer: “Why are all the cute ones always taken?” *takes bags and leaves the store*

    (30 seconds later, a male coworker notices the customer’s receipt still in the register. He grabs it and runs out of the store to give it to the customer. My coworker walks back into the store a few minutes later.)

    Me: “You know, that customer just tried to hook me up with his grandson.”

    Male Coworker: “…he just tried to do the same thing to me.”

    Giving Closing Time The Boot

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month, Time

    (We close at 8 pm but we have a straggler in the store who was trying on pants at 8:30 pm. Our sign was off and my manager and I were dressed down ready to go home. The phone rings.)

    Me: “Good Evening, [Store Name]. [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “What time do you close?”

    Me: “8 pm.”

    Caller: “Oh, but its 8:30 and you’re still there?

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Caller: “So… can I come buy boots?”

    Me: *face in palm* “No, sir. We close at 8 pm. You will have to come by tomorrow.”

    Caller: “But you are still there. Are you doing your own work?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Caller: “Okay. So can I come in?”

    Me: “Have a good night, sir…”

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