October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Will Find Himself Magically Arrested

| Tucson, AZ, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

(I work as a call taker for a local police department. I overhear the following from a coworker speaking to a man who calls in a regular basis.)

Coworker: “Okay, John, I see that you were arrested a few days ago for filing a false report. Now, if there is no crime being committed this time, you will be in trouble again.”

(I tune my coworker out while working on gathering information for other calls until I hear this part.)

Coworker: “How was someone able to steal your wallet and keys in the middle of the night when those were inside the pillow you were sleeping on?” *pause* “How did they get in and get your stuff if you were sleeping on it?” *longer pause* “They have magical powers? Is that what you want me to tell the officers?”

(Later my coworker told everyone at that point, the caller had been silent for a little while, and then said he didn’t want to get in trouble.)

Coworker: “Okay, but you want me to send officers to you? And that’s what you want me to tell them? That someone stole your keys and wallet by using magical powers? All right. I will let them know.”

(It turns out that the caller had called in every day after he was arrested, reporting different matters. Those were handled as callback reports, which take a couple of days, so the police didn’t make the connection. No such luck this time!)

Insecure About Your Security

| ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I worked at a call center. I am in training but required to take one call whenever we are listening in with an experienced agent.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to know why I am being charged so much! My bill is way higher than I was told!”

Me: “I can certainly look that up for you, sir. I need your phone number to access your account.”

Customer: “Why do I need to tell it to you? You should already have it!”

Me: “Sir, our system is not connected to our phones, so we need to get the information from you.”

Customer: “Fine! It’s [phone number].”

Me: “Thank you, sir. I need to ask you a few questions for security reasons. Can you tell me your name?”

Customer: “[First Name].”

Me: “Sir, can you please tell me your full name?”

Customer: “Why? What are you going to do with it?”

Me: “Sir, for security purposes I need your full name.”

Customer: “Well, don’t you have it?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I do, but I need you to tell me what it is so I can proceed with the security check and get to your issue.”

Customer: “Fine! It’s [Full Name].”

Me: “Thank you, sir. Now, can you please give me your address?”

Customer: “Why do you need that?”

Me: “Sir, as a security measure I need to ask for some information, like your name and address. Now, if you can tell me your address we can proceed on to your issue.”

Customer: “You have it right there in front of you! I’m not giving you my address so you can send me junk mail and have people watch me!”

Me: “Sir, I assure you we will not send you any junk mail or send anyone to watch you. I need your address for security measures.”

Customer: “Well, I’m not giving it to you! I already gave you my last name, now you can track me down and have people do something to my house! I won’t let you!” *click*

(I am just sitting there, stunned, looking at my coworker who I was assigned to.)

Coworker: “Sometimes we get people who don’t seem to understand why we need to make sure they are who they say they are…”

This Is Just The Tip Of The Ice

, | Okemos, MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work in a small coffee kiosk located in a shopping mall. A customer comes up, and the transaction is fairly normal right up until the end.)

Customer: “This coffee is so hot! Could you please get me some ice to cool it down?”

Me: “Of course!”

(I proceed to grab a paper cup and put a reasonable amount of ice in it, which I then hand to the customer.)

Customer: “Oh, this isn’t enough! Can I have more?”

Me: “Sure, sorry about that!” *I do exactly as she asks*

Customer: “Now this is just too much ice. Can you pour a little out?”

Me: “Uh-huh.”

(I’m a little annoyed, but do my best to be as polite as possible as I pour a little bit of ice out.)

Customer: “That’s still too much ice! I really wish I could just do this myself…”

(The customer then proceeds to pour about half of the ice into her hand, and then holds out her hand full of ice, clearly expecting me to do the same.)

Me: “Uh….”

(I grab a nearby cup for her to pour it in. She ignores this, dumps the ice on the credit card reader and containers of sugar packets, and walks away happily as can be with her coffee filled with what she apparently considered to be the perfect amount of ice.)

Should Have Tried That Second Line First

| UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I’m second-line support and for most of the day, I’m calling customers back to deal with things first-line can’t. After 5 pm, if it’s busy we help first-line out and take incoming calls, partly because our calls are often long, partly because most of our customers close at 5 pm and are unlikely to be there. I am taking a troublesome call that goes past 5:30, and my boss is standing behind me, wanting to close up so he can collect his kids.)

Caller: “Look, I know how this works. Nobody on first-line knows anything. Tou’re just trying to get rid of me because it’s past 5:30!”

Me: “Well, the most senior of the 2nd-line technicians are still here. Would you like to talk to them?”

Caller: “Yes! Finally. Put him on.”

Me: “Okay her name’s [My Name]. I’ll just get her.”

(I put him on hold for two seconds, pick up again, repeat what I’d told him to do without even asking about the problem, and he goes away happy.)

Boss: “I wish I could be surprised that worked.”

Denser Than The Dough

, | FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work in the bakery department of a rather large supermarket chain. We are one of the few remaining chains in the area with a fresh bakery: our breads are made from scratch every morning. We have a particularly smug customer who always thinks he is right about everything. Normally he complains about the prices on products, expecting the prices to never change… ever.)

Customer: “Do you have any Mountain Bread?”

(This type of bread is a round loaf cut in a particular way with flour on top to make it look like the snow on a mountain. It is extremely popular.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but we ran sold out of that today. But if you would like to buy this loaf here—” *I gesture to an Italian loaf* “—it is the exact same bread. It is just a different shape.”

Customer: “No, it isn’t! It tastes completely different. The dough is nothing alike!”

Me: “I assure you sir, they are exactly the same.”


Me: “And I know MY bread as I made these both this very morning, and I assure you the dough for both is made in one giant batch. We set aside some of it to make into round Mountain loafs and some of it to be set aside for the more standard Italian loaves. It is the exact same dough; the only difference is that the Mountain bread gets flour on top. That is it.”


Me: *fed up* “How about you try a piece?”

(I take a loaf from the shelf and offer him a slice. He takes the slice and takes a bite.)

Customer: “…I guess it is close… BUT IT’S NOT THE SAME!” *he takes a loaf and leaves*

Me: *to a coworker* “What part of I MADE THIS and IT COMES FROM THE SAME BATCH was so hard to understand?”

Coworker: “Some people are just dense…”

(The customer still shops in my store, though he hasn’t had any big issues like this in quite some time.)

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