November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Should Just Dangle A Carat In His Face

| Manchester, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

Customer: “What carat is your jewellery?”

Me: “All of our jewellery is sterling silver, sir. Silver isn’t classified in carats.”

Customer: “Yes, I know but what carat is it?”

Me: “Silver isn’t classified in carats, sir; that’s gold. Our silver is 925 Sterling Silver meaning it is 92.5% pure silver, 7.5% another metal such as copper. Pure silver is too soft for jewellery so 925 Sterling Silver is used.”

Customer: “Yes but what CARAT is it?”

(This went on for a good ten minutes before he left.)

Wrongly Accused

| London, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

Customer: “Excuse me, can you help me find something?”

Me: “Of course, what were you looking for?”

Customer: “I need that leather jacket in the window.”

Me: “Yes, we have them just over here. What size were you after?”

Customer: “No! Not that one! This is black! I need the other one!”

Me: “I’m sorry, we only have one leather jacket in the window. What colour was the one you wanted?”

Customer: “I want the tan one! Honestly, how do you not know what is in your own window?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t actually have a tan leather jacket in store right now.”

Customer: “Oh, this is ridiculous. Come, look at your own damn window and pay a little attention for once!”

(The customer physically takes me by the wrist and leads me outside, past a baffled looking colleague working at the front door!)

Customer: “There! That’s the god-d*** jacket I want. Can you get it for me or find someone in the store who knows what they’re doing?!”

Me: “…Sir, this isn’t our window. This is [Store Next Door]’s window. They’ll be able to help you find the right size.”

Customer: “You should have told me I was in the wrong store in the first place!”

A-Salt-ed By Stupidity

GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I manage a large fast food chain that uses sea salt on their French fries. A customer orders her fries with no salt.)

Me: *handing her order to her* “Here’s your order. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “There’s no salt on these fries, right? I hope so. I’m allergic to salt!”

Me: *staring blankly* “Ma’am, do you want me to remake your burger then? We salt the patties. In fact, there is salt on everything that goes on your sandwich.”

Customer: “No. I’m only allergic to sea salt.”

Me: “You do realize that they’re both just sodium chloride, right? In fact, table salt has iodine added and is usually bleached, so if you had an allergy it would be more apt to be…”

Customer: *cutting me off* “Don’t tell me what I can and can’t have! You don’t know what you’re talking about!” *grabs ketchup packets and storms out*

Me: *I grab a ketchup pack and begin reading packet ingredients to a coworker* “…tomato paste… corn syrup… sea salt… Huh, would you look at that. They put sea salt in the ketchup.”

Coworker: “Yeah, do you know what the clinical term is for someone who is allergic to salt?”

Me: “What’s that?”

Coworker: “Dead.”

Gloating About Gluten

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I’m the manager of a lingerie store. I’m working out the back when I overhear a conversation between my employee and a posh-looking customer in her 40s.)

Employee: “Hello, welcome to [Store]. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a gluten free bra. It has to be gluten free.”

Employee: “Uhh. I’m sorry ma’am but we don’t stock gluten free garments. There’s actually not—”

Customer: “Don’t even try to tell me that you don’t have any. I know you have them. It says so on your website. You just don’t have them on display.”

Employee: “Ma’am, I’ve actually never heard of gluten free clothing before and I can assure you that we do not stock any.”

Customer: “You haven’t heard of them? How can you work in this store and not know your own stock? Go and get the manager. Stupid girl.”

(I am just about to lose my cool and order the woman out of the store when I have a better idea. Grabbing a box of bras, I make my way to the front desk.)

Me: “Good afternoon, ma’am. My employee has informed me you wish to purchase one of our new gluten free garments. I’m sorry she wasn’t aware that we sell them. They’re usually reserved for online sale only.”

Customer: “Well, you need to train your staff better. Knowledge is power, you know.”

Me: “I guess you’re pretty lucky you’re in the know, then. These are the gluten free garments but because you’re not buying them online I can’t offer a refund or exchange should you change your mind. I shouldn’t even be selling them to you, but I’ll make an exception just this once.”

(At this point the customer is looking pretty smug.)

Customer: “Finally! I need it in [size].”

Me: “Ok. That will be $50, please.”

Customer: “Oh, but those on the shelf are the same and they’re only $30.”

Me: “Yes, but these are the ‘gluten free’ ones you’ve specifically requested.”

Customer: “Oh, yes. That’s fine, then.”

Me: “Thank you for shopping at [Store]. Have a nice day.”

(After she leaves, my employee, who has been in the back trying to figure out what is going on, comes out.)

Employee: “What just happened?”

Me: “A rude woman who thinks she knows more than my employees just bought us lunch.”

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 12

| NM, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

(It’s after we’ve closed, and I get an amusing call.)

Me: “Thanks you for calling [Store]. What can I do for you?”

Lady: “Hello. I was in earlier today, and I opened a [Store] card, and they forgot to give me my discount.”

Me: “I’m so sorry. We open at 12 tomorrow and you can come in and get it fixed then.”

Lady: “I live out of town. Is there any way you can fix it now?”

Me: “Well, um…”

Lady: “Can I speak with a manager?”

Me: “Ma’am, we’re closed.”

Lady: “Oh, I’m so sorry.”

Me: “Let me see if I can save you the trip. Our receipts are a little hard to read, and I just want to make sure they forgot your discount before you drive all the way back here. Can you read [certain line] on your receipt for me?”

Lady: *reads it*

Me: “Yeah, it looks like they forgot your discount. I’m so sorry, but you’re going to have to come in tomorrow to get it fixed.”

Lady: “Oh. It was sometime late this afternoon. Does that help you fix it?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I can’t fix your receipt over the phone, and even if I could, we’re closed.”

Lady: “Oh I’m sorry.” *pauses* “I have the employee’s ID, does that help?”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t fix your receipt over the phone, and even if I could, we’re closed.”

Lady: “Oh, I’m sorry.” *pauses* “I have the transaction number, does that help?”

Me: “No, and I can’t fix it anyway. We’re closed.”

Lady: “So I have to come back in tomorrow? Are you sure there’s nothing you can do?”

Me: “Yes, I’m sure. We’re closed. Have a nice night!”

(I told my dad (who also works in retail) this story, and he told me that next time, I should tell them that corporate turns the computers off. Apparently that makes more sense to the average customer than “We’re closed.”)

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 11
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 10
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 9