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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    A Professional Approach To Professional Photography

    | ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

    Customer: “I want to get these photos copied.”

    Me: “Okay, I can copy these, but these ones here I can’t unfortunately, due to company copyright policy.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “This is a professional photo, so I can’t copy it without permission from the photographer.”

    Customer: “Oh, no, you can copy it.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I can’t.”

    Customer: “But one of the people in that picture is dead now!”

    Me: “I’m really sorry about that, but our company’s copyright policy is actually pretty strict; it goes until 50 years after the death of the photographer. I honestly don’t feel comfortable copying professional photos until they are at least 65 years old.”

    Customer: “Well, this photo is 65 years old.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but this picture isn’t that old. I can do these photos for you, though.”

    (I go through the stack of pictures and find some school pictures, which I put aside.)

    Me: “I can’t do these ones, though.”

    Customer: “WHY NOT!”

    Me: “Because these are also professional.”

    Customer: “No! They’re school pictures!”

    Me: “Yes, that would be professional.”

    Customer: “But these people died in 1992!”

    Me: “Um, I’m sorry about that, but that doesn’t mean I can copy the picture.”

    Customer: “YES, IT DOES!”

    Me: “Maybe you didn’t understand me earlier when I said—”

    Customer: “YES, I DID UNDERSTAND YOU!”

    Me: “Then why are you telling me this person died in 1992? That doesn’t change the fact that the photographer has to be dead for 50 years before I can copy it.”

    Customer: “THE PHOTOGRAPHER IS DEAD!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t copy it.”

    Customer: “Then why are you copying this one?” *points to a photo that looks like it was taken with a point and shoot*

    Me: “Because it’s not professional.”

    Customer: “Yes, it is! A photographer took that!”

    Me: “Well, it didn’t look professional to me, but since you’ve told me that it is, I can’t copy it now.”

    Customer: “WHAT?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry.”

    Customer: “NO! YOU CAN COPY IT!”

    Me: “You JUST told me it was professional, after I JUST told you that I couldn’t copy professional photos.”

    Customer: “I want to see a manager, then!”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (My manager proceeded to tell the customer EVERYTHING I had already said, and the customer yelled back at him everything he had yelled at me. He left in a huff.)

    Laptop Flop, Part 7

    | England, UK | Crazy Requests, Money, Technology

    Me: “How can I help?”

    Customer: “I need to buy a computer. I don’t want you to sell me insurance or anything else, just the computer.”

    Me: “What will you be using it for?”

    Customer: “I need to use ‘The Google,’ and some word processing. I’ve been told by my technical friend it needs two ‘tetrabites’ and at least eight ‘jiggabites.'”

    Me: *trying not to laugh* “I think you mean terabytes and gigabytes.”

    Customer: “Yes, I am well aware of what I need.”

    Me: “For the things you are using it for, I don’t think you will need those specifications. You might end up spending a lot of money and not make full advantage of the machine. You could get a cheaper machine and spend more money on attachments.”

    Customer: “No, I know what I need; my friend told me.”

    Me: *politely* “Is your friend a technician?”

    Customer: “No, he’s a decorator.”

    Me: “Right.” *shows customer to a computer that matches her specifications, priced £899*

    Customer: “That’s too expensive. I was hoping to spend £150 – £200.”

    Me: “We have nothing that cheap. The lowest priced and most basic laptops start at £350.”

    (The customer walked off, whilst muttering how customer service was terrible.)

    Related:
    Laptop Flop, Part 6
    Laptop Flop, Part 5
    Laptop Flop, Part 4

    Don’t Rattle Her Cage

    | NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

    (I work as a receptionist at a dog groomer’s and due to past experiences, I’ve always been on the shyer side, but after a year, I’ve been getting better with dealing with the customers. This has been the fifth day of working in a row and we’re about an hour and a half away from closing. A client walks in to pick up her dog.)

    Me: “Hi! You’re here to pick up [Dog]?”

    Client: “Yes, how was he?”

    (I ring up her total and give her her change.)

    Me: “He’s a very good boy. I’ll go get him.”

    (I take him out of the cage where he’s sitting and grab his leash and collar. As I open the door to walk him back out to the office, I hear her talking, albeit rather rudely, to my coworker who bathed him.)

    Client: “I CANNOT believe he was in a cage this whole time! He was here for about an hour or two!”

    Coworker: “Ma’am, he wasn’t in the cage for long.”

    Client: “I don’t care! He doesn’t belong in a cage! My dog is the best dog! He doesn’t bark or jump. He’s definitely not like any of these other dogs.”

    (She was referring to the four dogs who were still here for daycare who were relaxing in the grooming room. They jumped when I walked past them, because they were excited.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we didn’t know that he wasn’t supposed to be in a cage. No one told us.”

    Client: “Well, I didn’t even know that you had cages here! That’s the reason why I was coming here because I didn’t like him in a cage. I didn’t even think that that was an option! I’m not going to stop coming here, but I would like it if he wasn’t in a cage.”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, but no one told us that he wasn’t allowed in one. Usually, to dry faster, bath dogs are in cages with the dryer so they don’t get dirty running around on the floor.”

    Client: “Well, I don’t want him in one anymore. I can’t believe you put him in one.”

    Me: “I understand that, but we didn’t know about today and we are terribly sorry. Here, let me put a note in the system about that.”

    (I go to do so and she follows me with the dog.)

    Client: “Make sure you put it in under my name!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, I’m doing that right now.”

    Me: “I’m sorry again for that. The note’s in now.”

    Client: “It’s fine! I just don’t want it to happen again.”

    (She leaves in a huff with the dog wagging his tail and my coworker leaves while another comes up from daycare.)

    Coworker #2: “You should’ve told her that he kept trying to get to the front almost every time.”

    Me: “That would’ve sparked another b**** fit with the result of me crying.”

    Coworker #2: “Well, if she comes back next time and the dog escapes the store whose fault is that? We’re not allowed to cage him anymore. That’s on her, not us.”

    Smiling With Suspicious Intent

    | TX, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (I’m known at work for being cheerful and always having a smile for everyone. A customer comes to my till and puts down his things, and I smile and greet him.)

    Customer: “What are you grinning about?”

    Me: “…I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “I saw you grinning like you’re laughing at me or something. Stop that.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I was just trying to be cheerful.”

    Customer: “Well, don’t! It’s too suspicious!”

    (The customer finished the transaction and walked away, glaring and muttering about ‘suspicious’ the whole time.)

    Smile, And The World Complains About You

    | TX, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (We’re a small store so there are only three of us this morning: manager, coworker, and I. The manager is positive and helpful and my coworker is one of the most honestly sweet and upbeat persons I’ve ever met. She has a habit of using little verbal prompts, like ‘ok,’ and ‘uh-huh,’ to encourage customers to talk. It’s midway through the shift and a customer comes barreling up to Manager and me.)

    Customer: “I need help! I need help and that other one won’t help!”

    Manager & Me: *after exchanging puzzled looks* “I’m sorry, how can we help?”

    Customer: “I asked the other girl and she just smiled and kept saying ‘uh-huh’ while I talked. You should talk to her! She should be fired! That’s so rude!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, she… smiled?”

    Customer: “Exactly! So rude! You need to talk to her!”

    Manager: *to me* “I’ll handle this…”

    (He shadows her around for about half an hour, deliberately steering her away from my coworker. Finally the customer’s done and the manager makes sure I’m the one checking her out. She’s still complaining.)

    Me: *super cheerful* “Looks like you found some great stuff!”

    Customer: “I can’t believe you let her work here! Everyone knows it’s rude to smile and say ‘uh-huh!’ I was in [Big Chain Supermarket] earlier and I could barely walk in before there was some idiot smiling and saying that! She’s horrible! She just kept smiling while I talked. She needs to find a different job. I don’t come in here for that sort of treatment!”

    Me: “I can’t imagine…”

    Customer: “And I’m such a nice person! I never get upset unless it’s something huge! She should be fired!”

    Me: “I’m quite certain our manager will talk with her. Now, how would you like to pay?”

    (I get the customer checked out and the manager makes certain my coworker is hiding when the customer leaves. Afterwards we all just sort of look at each other like, ‘well, that happened.’ My coworker looks ready to cry.)

    Me: *to coworker* “Stop smiling. So rude.”

    (Fortunately that made her crack up and, oddly, we haven’t had any other complaints about her smile!)

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