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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    The Sport Caught Her Short

    | MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (I work at a popular athletic clothing/sports equipment store.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, miss? I need some spandex shorts for my daughter. She’s joining volleyball.”

    (I am excited to help because it’s my favorite sport.)

    Me: “Of course! Let’s choose a color first. Black is the norm, but we also have red, a bunch of blues, and some lovely patterned ones.”

    Customer: “I’m just looking for black.”

    Me: “Sure. Does it matter what brand?”

    Customer: “I don’t think she’d care. What lengths do you have?”

    Me: “Two inches, three inches, and five inches are the regular lengths. We also have seven inches, but those are usually seen as too long.”

    Customer: *flabbergasted* “Only seven inches?! She’ll look like a whore!”

    Me: “Ma’am, five inches is quite enough cover. It’s about the same length as denim shorts. Seven inches goes a bit past the middle of the thighs.”

    Customer: *getting angry* “It doesn’t matter! They’re too short and tight!”

    Me: “No disrespect, ma’am, but have you considered signing your daughter up for a sport with a uniform that doesn’t include tight shorts? Like soccer, or basketball, maybe?”

    Trying To Go Beyond Beyonders

    | USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (I’m working in the kids’ section of our bookstore.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for the fourth book in the ‘Beyonders’ series.”

    Me: “Oh, well, ‘Beyonders’ is a trilogy.”

    Customer: “Okay. Do you have the fourth book?”

    Me: “It’s a trilogy, so there isn’t a fourth book. But I can show you some of the other books by that author. He’s pretty popular!”

    Customer: “No, my son wants the fourth book of the Beyonders, not something else. Can you order it for me?”

    Me: “No, because there isn’t a fourth book.”

    Customer: “My son SAID he wants the FOURTH BOOK. Just show me where they are and I’ll find it myself.”

    (I show her where the three books are. After combing through the shelf for five minutes, the woman leaves empty handed and angry.)

    Customer: “I’ll just order it online!”

    Disabled But Not Disarmed

    | UK | Bigotry, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

    (An early morning regular customer is a disabled woman in her 30s who dresses very gothic and always orders a coffee and then reads a book. A new customer I’ve never seen before comes to the serving counter.)

    Customer: “I have a complaint!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry to hear that. What have we done wrong?”

    Customer: “You let that [disabled slur] not only sit here but she takes up two seats!”

    Me: “Please don’t use words like that. She’s a very good and quiet customer who uses the second chair to prop her walking stick against. Besides, this early in the morning there are plenty of seats.”

    Customer: “She’s offending us! She’s being abusive!”

    (I’m confused, because I’ve not seen the lady even move from her chair.)

    Me: “Er, what has she said?”

    Customer: “Nothing! She didn’t even apologise!”

    Me: “What on earth for?”

    Customer: “For reading one of those e-book things, and being lazy, and fat, and—”

    (I can see our regular struggling to her feet and limping over.)

    Me: “Please just stop. She’s not affecting you.”

    Customer: “She’s a lazy f****** bum. I bet she’s on f****** benefits!”

    (Our regular makes it to the counter.)

    Regular Customer:  ”Could I please have another coffee as I’ve finished the first one and haven’t finished the chapter I’m reading.”

    (She hands me a £10 note.)

    Regular Customer: “Please keep the change as a tip.” *turns to the complaining customer* “Darlin’, I work as a software engineer and you need to work on your d*** manners. Us disabled have a right to get coffee as well.”

    (The new customer stomped back to her table and sat there eating her breakfast and glowering at our regular, who paid no attention at all to it. We found she’d left another £5 behind as an additional tip for ‘dealing with that.’)

    You Shall Not Pass(word)

    , | MB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

    Customer: “I’m not getting my emails on my phone.”

    Me: “Okay, your email isn’t syncing because you haven’t typed your password in.”

    Customer: “What’s my password?!”

    Me: “I don’t know sir; it would be whatever you originally chose for a password.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t remember. Why don’t you know it?!”

    Me: “That would negate the purpose of a password, sir. You don’t WANT me to know your password. Your email accounts have nothing to do with [Company].”

    Customer: “AND YOU CALL YOURSELF CUSTOMER SERVICE?!” *storms out*

    Doesn’t Get The Mechanics Of A Wrong Number

    | UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Transportation

    (I’m a school science technician. I’ve never worked with cars. I am definitely not a mechanic. I answer my personal mobile phone.)

    Me: “Hello?”

    Caller: “Hello. I’d like to book a road-worthiness test.”

    Me: “Oh, sorry, you’ve got the wrong number. This happens to me quite frequently. I must have a similar number to a garage.”

    Caller: “Oh. Well, you know, I’ve got a whole fleet of vehicles that need testing.”

    Me: “I’m afraid that doesn’t change the fact I am not a garage. I’m sorry.”

    Caller: “Oh.”

    (Extended silence.)

    Caller: “But I have lots of vehicles that need testing.”

    Me: “I’m still not a mechanic. Sorry. Good luck.”

    (I hung up, hoping he wouldn’t call back. He didn’t, luckily!)

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