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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Fickle Over A Nickel, Part 2

    | MD, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (I am currently checking out a line of customers. I hand a lady her change which is roughly $0.94. She counts it then hands me back a nickel.)

    Customer: “This is not a nickel. This is Canadian. I want an American nickel.

    Me: “Ma’am, it is still worth five cents. Any store will accept it.”

    Customer: “IT’S NOT AMERICAN!”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, let me call my manager. She has to open my drawer for me so that I can exchange the nickel.”

    (I call the manager and pray for her to hurry up.)

    Customer: “IT’S NOT AMERICAN!”

    (My manager is being very slow and thankfully the customer behind her pulls some change out of his pocket and hands her a nickel.)

    Customer #2: “Here, ma’am. Take this.”

    Customer #1: “Thank you.”

    (Customer #1 begins to walk to the door but overhears me talking to Customer #2.)

    Me: “Here, sir, would you like this Canadian nickel, it is still worth five cents.”

    Customer #2: “Thank you.”

    Customer #1: *standing half way out the door shouting at me* “IT IS NOT AMERICAN!”

    Related:
    Fickle Over A Nickel

    Crazy Is Flowering

    , | NJ, USA | Crazy Requests

    (I work in a flower delivery company call center, in customer service. We take orders and send them out to local floral shops all over the country. I’m working in ‘order modification.’)

    Me: “Thank you for calling. This is [My Name] speaking. Can I start by getting your name?”

    Customer: “My name? Why do you need that?”

    Me: “I need to identify who is calling and how to address you, but that’s okay. Can I have your recipient’s name?”

    Customer:Recipipant? What’s a recipipant?”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, the RECIPIENT is who is getting the flowers. May I have their name?”

    Customer: “Well… I don’t know what a recipient is but the delivery getter’s name is [Recipient]. I need you to change my order. I need you to change my name to spell it the correct way.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I was able to find your order by the recipient’s name. I can change your spelling of your name for you. Can you tell me the correct spelling?”

    Customer: “No. I will not tell you. You have no right to ask me things this personal. You can fix it yourself. Goodbye.” *hangs up*

    Supervisor: “I didn’t know you were so intrusive and psychic. How do you get all the crazies?”

    Allergic To Common Sense

    | Norway | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Top

    (I am the store manager of a fairly new store that sells accessories aimed at women and children. It is clear to most customers that we do not sell any high-quality jewelry, only mixed-metal ones. Its a fairly quiet day and I am fixing the music system that is located behind the register. I do not hear the customer come in, which I would come to regret. Sitting on my knees, I suddenly hear a voice.)

    Customer: “Is it possible to get any help here, or are you just going to be sitting on your fat a**?”

    Me: “I am so sorry, ma’am. I was trying to fix our music system and I didn`t hear you come in. What can I do for you today?”

    (The customer does not look me in the eye during the whole conversation.)

    Customer: “Yeah, right. Well, I have a problem with your store and I demand to see the manager. NOW.”

    Me: “That would be me, ma’am. What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: *sighs* “Really? You? Okay. I bought a pair of earrings here and I’m allergic so I am going to get my money back.”

    Me: “Okay, well it`s against store policy to take back earrings, due to health issues, but—”

    Customer: “That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. In my 70 years on this planet I have never experienced any problems of this sort.”

    Me: “Forgive me, ma’am, but I find that hard to believe as no other store in this city will take back earrings, unless there is a problem with them.”

    Customer: “THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH THEM. I am allergic!”

    Me: “There is nothing wrong with the earrings. They are the way they are supposed to be. They are made with mixed metals, which we make perfectly clear to all customers who ask about allergies. If you knew you were allergic you should have gone to the jewelry store and bought some gold or silver ones. That being said, if you’ll let me look at the receipt, I’ll see what I can do.”

    Customer: “I don’t have a receipt. Why would I have that?”

    Me: “Without a receipt there is nothing I can do. It’s the company policy. I am sorry.”

    Customer: “That`s Illegal!”

    Me: “It’s not illegal. According to the law, you are actually never entitled to any money back unless there is something clearly wrong with the product. Of course, most stores still offer exchanges of products that have not been used, against a valid receipt. But, seeing as you claim there is something wrong with the product, we should skip to that part.”

    (The customer is staring at the ceiling with her arms crossed, but still listening, so I continue.)

    Me: “If a product does not meet the qualifications that they are supposed to, you are entitled to your money back.”

    Customer: “That is what I said.”

    Me: “No. Because there is nothing wrong with the earrings. They are made with mixed-metals, just as they were meant to.”

    Customer: “But I had an allergic reaction.”

    Me: “Yes, exactly. There is something wrong with you, not the earrings. What we can do is: you give me the earrings and I will send them to the head office and they will get in touch with you, as I am not allowed to hand out money without a receipt, regardless of the situation.”

    Customer: “I don’t have them.”

    Me: “I’m sorry? You don’t have the earrings?”

    Customer: “No? Why the h*** would I keep them?”

    Me: “Okay, let me get this straight. You come in here without a receipt, or any other proof of payment and demand money for a product that you can`t show me?”

    Customer: “Why is that a f****** problem?”

    Me: “Do you honestly not understand that If I allowed that, anyone could come in and claim that they bought something and get money for it without any form of proof?”

    Customer: “Do you think I am lying to you? I am offended!”

    Me: *sigh* “I am going to call the head office and ask them what to do. I need your information, please.”

    (The customer gives me her name, number, etc…)

    Me: “And when did you buy the earrings, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Sometime before Christmas.”

    Me: “So you bought them six months ago and decided to wait until now to make a complaint?”

    (The customer, still not looking me in the eye, or even in my direction, walks around the register and behind it and looks at the sign behind me.)

    Customer: “What is this?”

    Me: “It’s a sign, ma’am. With our store name.”

    Customer: “Yes, but what is this? This place?”

    Me: “[Store].”

    Customer: “YES! BUT WHAT IS IT CALLED?! I am going to tell your boss that you are a disgusting human being, a rat. And you will get fired!”

    Me: “I doubt that, ma’am. They don’t fire people for being right. You have a fantastic day!”

    (The customer ran out screaming. The head office told me I was right and just laughed at this woman.)

    Match Point To You

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests, Money

    (We have a price matching policy that gives 15% off the regular price from other stores, but there are conditions. It has to be off full price, personal shopping only, no online stores, and we have to be able to confirm it with the other store first. A customer thrusts a printed sheet for the price of a sewing machine from another store. She also hands me a printout from our site, stating our discount policy.  This is the first time I’ve dealt with this sort of sale so I take the time to read both printouts.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but this for an online purchase. Our policy does not include online.”

    Customer: “They have a shop front.”

    Me: “If that is right then I will need to ring them for confirmation.”

    (There’s no answer when I ring due to it being a Sunday and the store being closed. I am still reading the printouts when I notice that the price shown is discounted.)

    Me: “Sorry, there’s no answer, and I’ve just noticed that this price is discounted. We don’t match discount prices.”

    Customer: “It’s not discounted. It’s the normal price.”

    Me: “No, sorry. It shows both discount and full price. That full price is actually more than we sell the item for.”

    Customer: “No. It’s their normal price and you have to match it.”

    Me: “No, we do not match discount prices or online sales.”

    Customer: “Now you are just making things up. What other excuses are you going to come up with?”

    Me: “I would like to point out that I am reading this directly off the discount policy that you printed off and gave to me.”

    Customer: *snatches both sheets off me* “Well, we’ll just go to the other store then!” *storms out*

    Good Things Don’t Always Come In Packages

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

    Me: “Thank you for calling. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I got a package and I signed for it, but I don’t want it, and I need you to take it back.”

    Me: “Okay… We probably can’t take back a package once you’ve signed for it, but let me see what I can do. Can you please tell me the tracking number?”

    Customer: “I don’t have the tracking number. I already told the guy at [Competitor] that. He said they wouldn’t take it, either.”

    Me: “Ma’am, is this package delivered by FedEx, UPS, or the postal service?”

    Customer: “I don’t know! I just need someone to come get it! I don’t want it and I need someone to come get it.”

    Me: “You’re going to need to call our customer service line. Before you call, please find the label on the box and look for the tracking number. They won’t be able to help you without it.”

    Customer: “I’m already talking to you. Why do I need to call a different phone number?!”

    Me: “I work in a retail location, and there is only so much I can do. You will need to call the customer service line.”

    Customer: “Just come get the box!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. All I can say is to call the customer service line.”

    Customer: “Well, all I can say is F*** YOU!”

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