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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Making A Mockingjay Out Of You

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Movies & TV

    (I’m working in the box office on a slow night.)

    Customer: *after movie gets out* “Can I get a refund? That movie was horrible! I hated the ending!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. What did you see?”

    Customer:  ”Catching Fire. It just ended! How am I supposed to know what happens next? It was getting really good and then it just stopped. I don’t understand why they would do that!”

    Me: “Oh, well there is actually another movie coming out. It’s originally based on a book trilogy; Catching Fire is based off of the second book.”

    Customer: “So that’s not the end?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, the next movie will probably be out in a couple years.”

    Customer: “So it’s like Breaking Dawn?”

    Me: “Yes…”

    Customer: “Oh, that makes so much more sense! Bye!”

    A Fraud Sandwich

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Hi. I’m here to order some food but first I have a little situation. I was hoping to talk to someone who could help me with it.”

    Me: “Okay, sure. What can I help you with?”

    Customer: “I was in here last week and I left three of my sandwiches here. I had already paid for them. I just accidentally left them in the store. I called and the woman said, I forget her name, but she said I could get them replaced.”

    Me: “All right, did you have your receipt?”

    Customer: “No, it was left in the bag that I left here.”

    Me: “Okay, so, you don’t remember who you spoke to? What day—”

    Customer: “No, I can’t recall her name. She just told me to come in and I could get my sandwiches.”

    Me: “Okay, what day did you come in?”

    Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. Some day last week.”

    Me: “Okay, last week? So… what day?”

    Customer: “I guess, I don’t know, I think it was Thursday. Probably Thursday.”

    (I get some more information including her name, that she was here around 4-5pm and that her order was over 40 dollars and paid for in cash.)

    Me: “All right. I’ll go ahead and check out this information and I’ll be right back.”

    (I check the manager schedule for last week to see who it may have been that she spoke to. It is the first week of December and it just so happens that Thursday the previous week was actually Thanksgiving, one of two days the entire year that we ever close.)

    Me: “So, ma’am, are you sure you came in on Thursday?”

    Customer: “Yeah, it had to have been Thursday. I’m pretty sure it was Thursday.”

    Me: “Okay well, we were actually closed last week on Thursday because it was Thanksgiving.”

    Customer: “Oh, well, I don’t really remember. I guess it was probably Friday.”

    Me: “All right, I’ll be right back.”

    (I check the schedule for Friday, and it turns out that two female managers had been in very early for Black Friday catering and had left well before 4pm. The only female manager who was in past 11am was me. I double check our guest checks and can find no orders for even close to 40 dollars that were paid in cash.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it looks like there are no checks from Friday for a 40 dollar cash transaction and the only female manager here on Friday that you could have possibly talked to was me.”

    Customer: “Look, I don’t really remember what day it was. The manager I spoke to just told me to come in here and any manager would be able to get me my sandwiches.”

    Me: “All right, I’ll be right back again.”

    (One of the female managers is actually working and says she didn’t talk to this woman, so I call the last possible option and she confirms that she would have left a note about it and that she can’t remember any situation for three sandwiches by this customer’s name.)

    Me: “Well, ma’am, unfortunately there seems to be no information regarding your situation. Our procedure is to take the customer’s name and possibly phone number and leave a note of communication for other managers. I cannot find any notes and none of our female managers remember promising anyone by your name three sandwiches.”

    Customer: “I… I don’t understand.”

    Me: “The managers here are all instructed to follow a certain standard of procedures when dealing with promising customers free food. We take the customer’s name and leave a note for the other managers-”

    Customer: “So what are you telling me?”

    Me: “The procedure for dealing with this situation was not followed by whatever manager you may have spoken to. You can’t remember any details about your transaction and there is no evidence of it here in the store. Unfortunately, due to our policies, I will be unable to give you any sandwiches for free today.”

    (The woman had been becoming increasingly rude as our interactions had continued, culminating at this point to full-out head tilts and accusatory eyebrow raises.)

    Customer: “I definitely spoke to a manager and she said all I had to do was come here and talk to any manager and I would be able to be given my sandwiches that I had already paid for and left here.”

    Me: “Are you sure that you spoke to a manager, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Yes, I am.”

    Me: “Our managers all follow the same procedure for dealing with promising free food to customers. Somehow you managed to not be treated to the correct procedure and I will be unable to give you anything. You don’t remember the name of the manager and I can find no proof that your transaction ever existed. It would be in your best interest—”

    Customer: “I spoke to—”

    (Tired of being cut off, I continue to speak regardless of her interruption. She continues to try to interrupt me and I continue to speak over her.)

    Me: “It would be in your best interest to have as much information as possible regarding your situation if you truly intended to have your food replaced.”

    (The woman tries to act very holier-than-thou about the whole situation.)

    Customer: “I spoke to a manager and was promised my food replaced. I didn’t even ask for my money back. I just wanted to get my sandwiches that I had already fully paid for, and that is not my fault; that is YOUR fault. Now, I’m going to need to buy some jars of your hot peppers, and maybe you should go ahead and give me a discount.”

    Me: “You know what, ma’am—”

    Customer: “EXCUSE me, WHAT did you say?”

    Me: “Ma’am, you know what? I—”

    Customer: “WHAT.”

    (I pause and look at her. I figure the negligible price of a small jar of hot peppers that we give away for free on people’s sandwiches every day is worth quieting her.)

    Me: “I’m sorry that there was a miscommunication about your sandwiches and so I’m going to do you a favor and go ahead and give one of these jars to you for free.”

    Customer: “Good.”

    (After making me keep an associate late to watch the line so I could investigate this situation, inconveniencing other customers, and being remorseless and insulting about lying to somebody’s face, I hope that woman could get to sleep at night for ‘winning.’)

    Rabbiting On

    | UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m working at my till when an old lady in a wheelchair approaches me. Our rabbit hutches are situated right next to our office that keeps the safe inside.)

    Customer: “Hello, dear. I was wondering if you could give me some advice about your rabbit hutches.”

    Me: “Of course. Is it just for one rabbit or two?”

    Customer: “Oh, it would be two.”

    (I take her over to the hutches and show her around explaining the features of each one.)

    Customer: “I don’t have much room in my husband’s car and I really need one for today. Do you sell them un-built?”

    Me: “I can grab a flat packed one from out the back if you’d like?”

    Customer: “Could you bring one out to show me so I can see if it will fit?”

    (I run out to our storage area and grab a flat-packed version of the hutch she had asked for. When I bring it out her attitude has completely changed.)

    Me: “Here you go. This is the one. It’s really simple to build and will only take ten minutes.”

    Customer: “FOR GOD’S SAKE. HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO GRAB ONE GODD*** ITEM FOR ME?! DON’T BOTHER WITH IT. I’LL JUST GO SOMEWHERE ELSE WHERE THEY DON’T TREAT THEIR CUSTOMERS LIKE S***!”

    (I stand there in stunned silence as the customer quickly leaves the store, cursing frequently under her breath. Later on my manager, who ran home from work, couldn’t find his trainers which he leaves in the office. We decide to look on the CCTV to check if anyone has moved them. The video shows me walking off to get the hutch for the customer. When I leave she proceeds to get out of her wheelchair, enter the office (which has a combination lock on it), and try to open the safe. After failing to open it she grabs my manager’s trainers, shoves them in her handbag, and returns to the wheelchair.)

    Manager: “Who the h*** was she?”

    Me: “I think I almost sold the Devil a rabbit hutch today…”

    The Crystal Is Not Clear

    , | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

    (This takes place over the phone.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’m considering buying a [Very High End Brand] crystal chandelier from you guys. I was wondering… is there a way to tell by looking at it what the brand is? Like, is there a signature etched into the crystal, or something written on the metal part?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry; I haven’t seen anything like that.”

    Customer: “But if I spend all this money on the best crystal, how are my guests supposed to tell? I’d want everyone to know!”

    Me: “Well, each chandelier comes with a certificate of authenticity you could display, or a [Brand] tag you could hang on it if you wanted.”

    Customer: *sarcastically* “Oh, that wouldn’t be pretentious at all now, would it?” *hangs up*

    Enough Barking Crazy For One Day

    | Savannah, GA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

    (I’m a supervisor working a closing shift, helping out for another department, since we’re short on people that night, and doing my work at the service desk. My coworker, who is manning the service desk that night, is on the phone with someone, looking slightly perplexed.)

    Coworker: *mouths toward me* “Take this! Please!”

    (She passes the phone over to me.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling your local [Store Name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: *in a very forced high pitched voice* “Do you have any doghouses.”

    (It’s pretty difficult to understand, as they’re clearly disguising their voice to sound like a woman.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. Did you say doghouses?”

    Customer: “Yes, doghouses.”

    Me: “Oh, no, I’m sorry. We don’t carry doghouses. We do have dog cages and dog carriers, though.”

    Customer: “Do you think a little boy could fit in them?”

    Me: *hangs up* “Nope. Not tonight. I do not have the patience. They asked if a little boy could fit in them. F*** that!”

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