November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Must Be A Poultrinarian

| Gold Coast, QLD, Australia | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I overhear this in a buffet style restaurant in a popular theme park:)

Customer: “Is this vegetarian?”

(There is a sign clearly marking to dish as chicken.)

Waiter: “No, ma’am, it’s chicken.”

Customer: “I KNOW IT’S CHICKEN! I WANT TO KNOW IF IT IS VEGETARIAN! YOU ARE SO RUDE!” *moves on to next dish* “Is this vegetarian?”

Waiter: “No, ma’am, that’s chicken, too.”

Doesn’t Meet Their Egg-spectations

| Long Island, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(A friend and I go boating one weekend with our wives and decide to stop at a diner for breakfast. My friend’s wife is looking over the menu and is having a hard time deciding what to get.)

Friend’s Wife: *to the waitress* “Can I make my own omelet? I mean, can I get one with whatever I want?”

Waitress: “Oh absolutely! Tell me what you want and we’ll make it up for you.”

Friend’s Wife: “Okay, great. I’ll have the Super, Premium, Deluxe omelet but take out the bacon, take out the sausage, take out the peppers, take out the onions, take out the mushrooms and take out the cheddar cheese. Put in some steak and American cheese.”

Waitress: *with an exasperated look* “So you want an omelet with steak and American cheese?”

Friend’s Wife: “Yes! Oh, and throw some ham in there, too.”

(A little bit later we get our food and my friend’s wife, immediately starts picking all the ham out and puts it to the side. She then just picks at the omelet but never eats any of it. The waitress stops by to check up on us.)

Waitress: “Is everything all right? Is there something wrong with the omelet?”

Friend’s Wife: “Oh, no. I just don’t like eggs.”

The Clean Bill Of The Health Club

| Scottsdale, AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(We make various frozen drinks made from primarily milk, ice, and fruit flavored syrup. We have real fruit available and some customers request we make them with that so they are healthier. Note: we are also located in a mall.)

Customer: “Can I get one of those frozen drinks?”

(I start making her drink and begin adding syrup.)

Customer: “Oh, no, can you make it like they do at the health club?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Did you want it made with real fruit?”

Customer: “No, I just want it made like they do in the health club.”

Me: “I’m sorry. I don’t know how they make drinks. I didn’t even know we had a health club in the mall.”

Customer: “No, it’s not in the mall. It’s the health club! Can’t you just make it like they do?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’ve never been to your health club and really don’t know how they make their drinks.”

(She leaves, looking dejected.)

Customer: “I just wanted it like they make them in the health club.”

A Card-Carrying Member Of The Idiot Club

| VA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

Me: “Will this be everything?”

Customer: “Yes.” *watches as I pick up each item, handle it to turn it over, scan it and place it in a bag*

Me: “Your total is [total]. You can slide your card now, right there.”

Customer: *slides card*

Me: “Oh, is it credit? May I see the card?”

Customer: *holds the card in front of my face and waves it back and forth, so I can’t see it*

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “You can SEE it, but you can’t touch it.” *patronizing smile* “That’s how GERMS get passed around.”

Me: “Well, can you hold it still for just a moment?”

Customer: “I don’t want to catch anything…” *holds card still… and continues lecturing about germs*

Me: “Okay, now you just sign there on the pin pad and hit ‘Done.'”

Customer: “You have to be very careful!” *grabs pin pad and attached pen (which has, by that afternoon, been handled by hundreds of people)* “I never let anyone touch my cards!”

Blow The Lid Off

, | MI, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am covering drive-thru on my own for a little bit, due to extreme traffic at our front counter. I take a woman’s order, make her drink, and cash her out. When handing the coffee to a customer, I hold it on the top so they can get a grip on the cup itself. It makes it a lot easier for the customer, and it means that our hands don’t touch and cross-contaminate.)

Me: *hands the woman her coffee* “Have a—”

Woman: *glares at me* “You touched the lid. You can never touch my coffee lid.”

(I made her coffee. Which includes putting the lid on, and writing how much cream and sugar I put in it.)

Me: *too puzzled to speak*

Woman: “You can never touch my coffee lid. Now I need a new one. DOMED.”

(I grab her a different lid (my hand touches it, and it doesn’t bother her), and pass it out to her. She tsks at me, and drives off, repeating ‘You don’t ever touch my lid.’ She’s a regular customer, and she does this to everyone.)