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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Not Chickening Out Of Saying The Right Thing

    | NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

    (I am waiting in line at a local place that’s known mostly for its hot dogs and unbelievably spicy buffalo wings. All of a sudden a customer comes storming into the place, literally shoves several people aside from the line and slams a take-out container on the counter.)

    Customer: “I DEMAND TO TALK TO THE OWNER RIGHT NOW!”

    (The man behind the counter working the fryers and grills turn around.)

    Owner: “Yes, ma’am, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I didn’t say some stupid fry cook. I said the owner of this place, the woman!”

    Owner: *points up to the wall of pictures she’s standing next to* “That would be me in every one of those ceremonies and events up there. This place is called [Restaurant] because I named it after my daughter. Now, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “You tried to POISON ME! I ordered the veggie bites and the fried cauliflower, and there was CHICKEN IN THERE!”

    Owner: “Oh! I’m terribly sorry ma’am. There must have been some kind of accident. I would be happy to replace—”

    Customer: “OHHHH, no. I’m not letting you off that easily. I could have DIED! I want some kind of compensation!”

    (After witnessing this overreaction from the customer, I have had enough:)

    Me: “All right, I’m sick of this. You storm in, shove three people out of the way including an older woman half your size, you insult the owner of the place to his face, he STILL offers to replace your food, and then you demand he give you more money back!?”

    Customer: “I COULD HAVE DIED!”

    Me: “Not unless you’re the first reported case of CHICKEN ALLERGIES, or you just swallow everything whole and can crush broccoli on the way down but not a chicken nugget! Let it go, python-lady!”

    (At this point the rest of the people there burst out laughing, including most of the staff. The customer storms out.)

    Owner: “THANK YOU! I don’t like being rude to customers no matter what, but she was totally out of line! What were you getting? It’s on the house.”

    Me: “Ah, don’t worry about it. I just better not find any fried cauliflower in my chicken nuggets!”

    The Sport Caught Her Short

    | MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (I work at a popular athletic clothing/sports equipment store.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, miss? I need some spandex shorts for my daughter. She’s joining volleyball.”

    (I am excited to help because it’s my favorite sport.)

    Me: “Of course! Let’s choose a color first. Black is the norm, but we also have red, a bunch of blues, and some lovely patterned ones.”

    Customer: “I’m just looking for black.”

    Me: “Sure. Does it matter what brand?”

    Customer: “I don’t think she’d care. What lengths do you have?”

    Me: “Two inches, three inches, and five inches are the regular lengths. We also have seven inches, but those are usually seen as too long.”

    Customer: *flabbergasted* “Only seven inches?! She’ll look like a whore!”

    Me: “Ma’am, five inches is quite enough cover. It’s about the same length as denim shorts. Seven inches goes a bit past the middle of the thighs.”

    Customer: *getting angry* “It doesn’t matter! They’re too short and tight!”

    Me: “No disrespect, ma’am, but have you considered signing your daughter up for a sport with a uniform that doesn’t include tight shorts? Like soccer, or basketball, maybe?”

    Trying To Go Beyond Beyonders

    | USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (I’m working in the kids’ section of our bookstore.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for the fourth book in the ‘Beyonders’ series.”

    Me: “Oh, well, ‘Beyonders’ is a trilogy.”

    Customer: “Okay. Do you have the fourth book?”

    Me: “It’s a trilogy, so there isn’t a fourth book. But I can show you some of the other books by that author. He’s pretty popular!”

    Customer: “No, my son wants the fourth book of the Beyonders, not something else. Can you order it for me?”

    Me: “No, because there isn’t a fourth book.”

    Customer: “My son SAID he wants the FOURTH BOOK. Just show me where they are and I’ll find it myself.”

    (I show her where the three books are. After combing through the shelf for five minutes, the woman leaves empty handed and angry.)

    Customer: “I’ll just order it online!”

    Disabled But Not Disarmed

    | UK | Bigotry, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

    (An early morning regular customer is a disabled woman in her 30s who dresses very gothic and always orders a coffee and then reads a book. A new customer I’ve never seen before comes to the serving counter.)

    Customer: “I have a complaint!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry to hear that. What have we done wrong?”

    Customer: “You let that [disabled slur] not only sit here but she takes up two seats!”

    Me: “Please don’t use words like that. She’s a very good and quiet customer who uses the second chair to prop her walking stick against. Besides, this early in the morning there are plenty of seats.”

    Customer: “She’s offending us! She’s being abusive!”

    (I’m confused, because I’ve not seen the lady even move from her chair.)

    Me: “Er, what has she said?”

    Customer: “Nothing! She didn’t even apologise!”

    Me: “What on earth for?”

    Customer: “For reading one of those e-book things, and being lazy, and fat, and—”

    (I can see our regular struggling to her feet and limping over.)

    Me: “Please just stop. She’s not affecting you.”

    Customer: “She’s a lazy f****** bum. I bet she’s on f****** benefits!”

    (Our regular makes it to the counter.)

    Regular Customer:  ”Could I please have another coffee as I’ve finished the first one and haven’t finished the chapter I’m reading.”

    (She hands me a £10 note.)

    Regular Customer: “Please keep the change as a tip.” *turns to the complaining customer* “Darlin’, I work as a software engineer and you need to work on your d*** manners. Us disabled have a right to get coffee as well.”

    (The new customer stomped back to her table and sat there eating her breakfast and glowering at our regular, who paid no attention at all to it. We found she’d left another £5 behind as an additional tip for ‘dealing with that.’)

    You Shall Not Pass(word)

    , | MB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

    Customer: “I’m not getting my emails on my phone.”

    Me: “Okay, your email isn’t syncing because you haven’t typed your password in.”

    Customer: “What’s my password?!”

    Me: “I don’t know sir; it would be whatever you originally chose for a password.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t remember. Why don’t you know it?!”

    Me: “That would negate the purpose of a password, sir. You don’t WANT me to know your password. Your email accounts have nothing to do with [Company].”

    Customer: “AND YOU CALL YOURSELF CUSTOMER SERVICE?!” *storms out*

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