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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Trying To Drive Home The Sale

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (This store is actually the second store of this chain I have worked at; the first closed down, and this was the very last day for this store, too. The assistant manager has been positioned outside the doors for the last 10 minutes to shoo very last minute customers, since we’re closing the doors about four hours early to begin cataloguing the entire store to get it all packed up. A family of four walks up, and starts to argue with him about wanting to come in to look.)

    Assistant Manager: “I’m sorry, but we’re closing in 10 minutes, for good, and we can’t be open any later.”

    Father: “But we drove three hours across state lines to visit THIS exact store.”

    Assistant Manager: “Then, really, you should have been here earlier today, or earlier in the week, because we’ve been making everyone aware that this store was closing permanently today, at this hour, for months now.”

    Aren’t Enough Hours In The Day To Deal With You

    | CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in the retail store of a contemporary art museum. The museum and the store have slightly differing hours on Thursdays, meaning the store is open two hours before the rest of the museum. For fire safety reasons, the entry to the museum remains open, with a sign in place informing guests of the hours.)

    Me: “Good morning. Welcome to [Museum Store].”

    Customer: “Thank you. You all were closed yesterday.”

    (The galleries are closed on Wed. The store, however, was open.)

    Me: “Yeah, the galleries are closed on Wednesdays. And they don’t open today until 1 pm.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    (I watch the customer feign interest in the shelves while trying to stealthily make their way towards the main lobby.)

    Me: “Excuse me. The galleries aren’t open until one. I need you to remain in the store.”

    Customer: “You should have a sign.”

    Me: “We do.” *point to the sign*

    Customer: “Why aren’t you open?”

    Me: “The museum stays open late on Thursdays, so it opens later in the day.”

    Customer: “That’s not what it says on your website.”

    Me: “Actually it does.” *I swivel my monitor around and show her the museum homepage with the hours on the front* “There are hours for the galleries and the store. See? Store open: 11am-8pm. Museum Open: 1pm-8pm.”

    Customer: “Well, you shouldn’t have different hours on different days. I really wanted to see [current exhibition].”

    Me: “Well, we open at one, and I can give you a voucher for half price admission.”

    Customer: “I can’t! I have a plane to catch; I have to go to the airport in an hour. We tried to come yesterday but you were closed!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry about that.”

    Customer: “Is there someone from the museum I can talk to?”

    (She clearly means, ‘someone I can complain to to get special treatment.’)

    Me: “Since we don’t open until one, the staff doesn’t arrive until around 12:30. I can also give you the phone and e-mail address if that’s not convenient.”

    Customer: “Oh, I was just wondering. I’m a friend of [Staff Member].”

    Me: “Well you can certainly call them and see if they can arrange a tour for you today before we open.”

    Customer: “Do you have her number?”

    Me: “I can give you her extension here at the museum.”

    Customer:” No, her mobile. You said she’s not here yet.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I don’t have access to personnel contact info.”

    Customer: “Well, you’re not very helpful!”

    (The customer left. A few minutes later I heard a banging. I looked into the lobby and saw her yanking hard on the front doors, as if the reason they weren’t opening was because she was not pulling hard enough. She looked at the hours on the door, she looked at her watch, and finally figured it out. I never saw her again)

    Watch And Burn

    | Lynn, MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (Although we are not supposed to lock the doors until exactly 9:00 pm, it had been a long, busy day and the manager and I were both tired, so I locked the doors at 8:58 pm. We closed down the last register and were both in the back office counting the till. At 9:05 pm we hear someone banging incessantly at the door, which is not unusual. Almost every night, we have customers banging on the door after close, hoping we’ll let them in. If it’s an emergency, and going to guarantee a large sale like a new car battery, we’ll let them in and help them. So, I go to the door to investigate.)

    Me: “Sorry! We’re closed! We closed at 9:00 pm.”

    Customer: “You locked the door before 9:00! I was here and I watched you!”

    Me: “If you were here before 9:00, why didn’t you come in?”

    Customer: “I was finishing my cigarette! I want to buy an air freshener!”

    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 15

    | Leeds, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I am 17 and have finished my shift at a supermarket, and go straight to a consumer electronics shop. I am still wearing my work uniform, which is similar in colour to the shop that I am in. A customer comes up to me, obviously angry, carrying a bag with a laptop in it.)

    Customer: “Excuse me. I bought this laptop last week and it has stopped working already. This is disgraceful for a £500 piece of—”

    Me: “Sorry, mate, I don’t actually—”

    Customer: “Don’t you interrupt me, and I am certainly not your mate. I paid £500 for this and it won’t even turn on now. I want you to fix it right now or—”

    Me: “Woah, woah, woah! I don’t actually work—”

    Customer: “Listen to me! Fix this now or give me my money back!”

    Me: “But you need to speak to someone who actually works at—”

    Customer: “Don’t fob me off with this s***. You work here. You sort it out. I’m not going to be passed from one member of staff to the other. This is typical of this company. Employing young, inexperienced idiots who don’t give two f***s!”

    Me: “Okay, sir. What I suggest you need to do is get your laptop. Open it up, turn it on, and wait for Windows to load up. Once it has loaded up, we’ll put the recovery disc in. Then, I want you to take your laptop, and stick it up your a**, you ignorant c***.”

    Customer: *inaudible explosion of expletives and demands to speak to the manager*

    Related:
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 14
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 13
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 12
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 11
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 10
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 9
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 8
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 7
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 6
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 5

    Closing Time Is Not In Their Books

    | Denver, CO, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Hello. Thank you for calling the Student Center. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: *sighs* “When the h*** does the bookstore close?”

    Me: “Let”s see… The bookstore closes at 5:00 pm, sir.”

    Customer: “Then why the h*** didn’t they pick up their phone?! I’ve called four times!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it is now 5:47, so the bookstore has been closed for nearly 50 minutes. Can I help you with anything?”

    Customer: “Well, why the f*** aren’t they open until 6:30?! This is bull-s***!”

    Me: “Well, sir, I believe the bookstore has shortened store hours. They will resume normal hours in September. I apologize if this has caused any inconvenience.”

    Customer: *breathing heavily and getting worked up* “Well, transfer me to the manager. Jesus Christ!”

    Me: “Upon looking online, sir, I see that the manager does not have a direct line. I am sorry, you will have to call the bookstore during normal business hours.”

    Customer: “WELL, THE WEBSITE IS WRONG!” *hangs up*

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