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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Guess Who’s Flapping To Dinner

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

    Customer: “This may sound odd, but we’re looking for a light with a finish that’s resistant to…um…bird poop.”

    Me: “I’m guessing you have a pet? Well, no finish is going to stand up completely to that kind of thing, but we can look at a few things. What kind of light are you looking for?”

    Customer: “It’s for over our kitchen table.”

    (I proceed to find them some lights. Later on as I’m helping them out to their car…)

    Me: “Oh, I never did ask the name of your bird!”

    Customer: “Well, we have about 70 of them. Bye!” *drives off*

    Coworker: “Remind me not to accept any of their dinner invitations.”

    There’s No Amounting For Taste

    | Texas, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work in an ice cream shop. Our chocolate shakes are made with vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce, rather than chocolate ice cream.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Can I get a large chocolate shake?”

    Me: “Certainly, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Make sure it’s not too heavy on the chocolate!”

    (I make the shake, using about half the usual amount of chocolate sauce, and hand it to the woman.)

    Customer: *doesn’t even taste the shake* “No, no, this is way too much chocolate! I needed EASY chocolate.”

    (I remake the shake, using only about a quarter of the usual amount. Again, I hand it to the customer, who glances at it without tasting it.)

    Customer: *condescendingly* “Are you even listening to me? I’m a diabetic. I can not have too much sugar! Is that really too much to ask?”

    (I make the shake a third time, this time adding no chocolate sauce whatsoever. I hand her the shake.)

    Customer: *tastes her chocolateless chocolate shake* “THERE, that’s perfect. Was that really so hard?!”

    To Bacon, Or Not To Bacon, That Is The Digestion

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am taking a table’s order.)

    Me: “Okay, sir. What can I get for you to eat?”

    Customer: “I’ll have a bacon cheeseburger, but if they add bacon to it, I don’t want bacon.”

    Me: “So, do you want a regular cheeseburger?”

    Customer: “No. I want my burger to have bacon on it. But if it comes with bacon, then I don’t want bacon.”

    (I have absolutely no idea what he is asking for, and all his friends seem to be as confused as I am.)

    Me: “Okay, just to make sure I am understanding you correctly, I am going to repeat what you are asking for.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    Me: “You want a bacon cheeseburger, and if there is bacon on it, you don’t want the bacon.”

    Customer: “Right.”

    Me: “But you definitely want the bacon on the burger.”

    Customer: “Right.”

    (Now all his friends are laughing, and I have no idea what to say. Suddenly, the customer realizes what he’s been saying.)

    Customer: “PICKLES! Oh my God, I don’t want PICKLES on the burger!”

    Me: “Oh, thank God! I was starting to think I went crazy!”

    Please Don’t Single Me Out

    | Albuquerque, NM, USA | Crazy Requests, Love/Romance, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m a Caucasian male with very curly hair in my early 20s on a register. A Native American female in her mid to late 40′s comes up behind me.)

    Customer: “Oh, I love curly hair!”

    (She runs her fingers through my hair with a huge smile on her face.)

    Me: *feeling uncomfortable* “Uh…”

    Customer: “When do you get off?”

    Me: “Um, well I—”

    Customer: “I just love curly hair. It’s so cute! I just love it. My ex-boyfriend only had straight hair, but yours is so much better.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I really don’t think this is appro—”

    Customer: “Are you single?”

    (I press a code on my register for manager assistance.)

    Me: “I’m flattered and all, but I’m sorry, I’m just not that interested. Sorry. I hope you have a wonderful evening, though.”

    (Her smile changes to a scowl and she starts poking me in the shoulder angrily.)

    Customer: *pokes me repeatedly* “What!? Why not!? Is it because of my skin color!? What do you have against native chicks, huh!?”

    Me: “Not at all, ma’am, really! My first girlfriend was a native woman. I don’t understand why you’re doing this, and I don’t appreciate being treated this way.”

    Customer: “Oh, that’s bulls***! You are all alike! You’re just a white, racist, piece of s***! I’m going to get you fired, a**hole! You’ve insulted me and you took my joy away!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’ve called for a manager.”

    (She continues this profanity-laden tirade while the manager walks up.)

    Manager: “What’s the problem, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Your cashier insulted me!”

    Manager: “Alright, ma’am, what did he say to you?”

    (I’m a bit nervous, to be honest. I’ve never received a customer complaint before.)

    Customer: “He won’t go out with me! You’re the manager! Tell him to go out with me, or he’s fired! Can’t you understand?!”

    Manager: “If you come in here and hit on our employees or customers one more time, you will be banned from the store. Get out, now, or I will call the police!”

    Customer: *glares at me as she storms off*

    Manager: *to me, jokingly* “So, how do you like your new girlfriend?”

    (Apparently, this woman had come in several times and would aggressively flirt with white male customers and employees. So much so, that the manager staff were notified to be on the lookout for her!)

    Caution: Wet Weather May Be Wet, Part 2

    | Jacksonville, NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I’m outside gathering shopping carts as it is raining. As I am headed back towards the store with the carts, I notice a woman walking towards the entrance on the sidewalk. The woman slips and lands on her butt.)

    Me: “Are you okay?”

    Customer: “Are you serious? You don’t have a wet sign out here! Let me speak to your manager!”

    (We head inside, and my manager approaches us.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem, miss?”

    Customer: “There are no wet signs outside this store. How am I supposed to know if it is slippery?” *storms into the store*

    Me: *to my manager* “I didn’t know that I was supposed to put wet signs outside when it was raining.”

    Manager: “You’re not.”

    Related:
    Caution: Wet Weather May Be Wet

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