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  • Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Dying For Some Pie

    | PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (It’s the annual Halloween event. I am dressed as Mrs. Lovett from Sweeney Todd, but since the younger kids I watch haven’t seen the movie, I try to explain my costume in a way they can understand.)

    Little Boy: “Why do you have a fake knife? What are you?”

    Me: “I’m dressed as a lady who makes people into pies.”

    Little Boy: “That’s awesome! I wanna make people into pies! Can you make me into a pie? I wanna eat myself!”

    Me: *laughing* “Go down the slide first, then we’ll talk.”

    Bright Red For Other Reasons

    | Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Top

    Customer: “Helloooo! I’m at the desk!”

    Me: “Oh, sorry, you just walked in. I was just coming to see to you !”

    Customer: *demanding tone* “I’m wanting go bright red, okay?!”

    Me: “Well, I will take you over first, then we can have a proper consultation.”

    Customer: “Right then!”

    Me: “If you are wanting to go bright red, we would need to strip the colour out because you are jet black.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t want that; it hurts when it gets stripped! I want bright red now, from the poster! I’m the customer; I’m always right!”

    Me: “Well, I have been doing hairdressing for two years, and to be honest, it doesn’t hurt because it won’t be on your scalp.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m still right. If you put the red on, it will work!”

    Me: “Okay, then.”

    (After I apply the color to keep her happy…)

    Customer: “Where is my f***ing bright red hair?!”

    Me: “I told you it wouldn’t work. As you said, you’re the customer, and you’re always right!”

    (She ended up keeping her mouth shut. Thankfully, she didn’t come back again!)

    It’s Going To Be A Tough Quarter

    | Fort Wayne, IN, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

    Customer: “Can you help me put packing tape on this box so I can ship it?”

    Me: “Of course.”

    (I help her seal the box, which is full of nice clothes. Then I put the box’s measurements in and show her the prices.)

    Me: “Looks like your cheapest bet will be through USPS at [price].”

    Customer: “What about this option?”

    (She points at a USPS option that is about 25 cents cheaper than what I offered.)

    Me: “That’s the Media Mail rate. It only applies if you’re shipping books or CDs.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m shipping books.”

    Me: “No, I saw the contents of your package when I sealed it. You’re not shipping books or CDs, so I can’t give you the media rate.”

    Customer: “But I want the cheaper price.”

    Me: “It’s only a difference of 25 cents. It isn’t that big a difference, is it?”

    Customer: “Can’t you, like, just say that I’m shipping books?”

    Me: “You’re asking me to lie and put my job at risk just to save you a quarter?”

    Customer: “Yes! God! Is that too much to ask to save me some money?”

    Piecing Together An Apology

    | FL, USA | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I’m the assistant manager currently helping out on the registers, when one of the new hires flags me down for help.)

    Me: “Hello. How can I help?”

    Coworker: “Yeah, she was wondering how much it would cost for us to put together everything.”

    (I glance at the cart and see that the customer, a woman in her early 40s, has a total of 11 furniture pieces, all of which require a lot of time to assemble.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but unfortunately we don’t offer that particular service at this time.”

    Customer: “You’ve got to be kidding me. [Competitor] would put all of this together for me no problem. Main reason I’m coming here is because you all are cheaper.”

    Me: “Yes, and I thank you for choosing to shop with us today. I also know that [competitor] offers an assembly service and that they staff people who do nothing but assemble furniture for their customers. Unfortunately for us, we simply don’t have that kind of manpower or the space to take on that particular service.”

    Customer: “I don’t really care if you have the manpower or not! I have f***ing arthritis in my wrists. You honestly think I’d be asking for help if I could do it myself?”

    Me: “Of course not, ma’am. Before I go and ask the store manager if there is something that can be done, let me ask you something: are you needing these pieces assembled right away?”

    Customer: “Not really. How long would it take you think?”

    Me: “I imagine that we could do all this in a little over a week. Reason being is that we’d have various people working on your furniture in between customers. With 11 pieces here, it will take some time to put everything together.”

    (The customer reluctantly agrees on the wait time and the store manager agrees to have us assemble everything for free. I take her information and promise to call her whenever her furniture pieces are completed. The following day, she calls in and asks if we’re done yet. This repeats every day for the next four days. Finally I end up taking her phone call on the fifth day.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [me], how can I help you?”

    Customer: “You can help me by getting my damn furniture finished already. I bought everything last weekend and I have company coming in two days. What the h*** is taking so long? What do you think I’m paying you all for?”

    Me: “Ma’am, as I explained to you then, it will take some time for us to put everything together for you because we are low on staff and that it could take a little over a week. You said that that was fine. Secondly, we offered to do this for you free of charge, so you aren’t actually paying us to assist you. But on the positive side of things, we currently have more than half of your furniture assembled and I believe that we’ll be able to have everything put together in two more days if you’re willing to remain patient with us.”

    Customer: “You’re all lazy and incompetent! I’m going to have you all fired!”

    (The store manager, who has been sitting next to me the entire time, has heard all of this and immediately grabs the phone.)

    Store Manager: “Hi, this is the store manager. Now listen here, we have been more than patient with you. Just about every single employee I have, including myself, have agreed at one point or another to take time out of their incredibly busy schedules just to help you out because we value all of our customers. Not once from you have I heard a ‘please’ or a ‘thank you’, yet we still are willing to help out. However, I will not tolerate you berating my employees who are actually completing this project ahead of schedule. Now, if you still feel that we are not moving fast enough for your liking, you are more than welcome to come to the store, pick up your furniture and assemble the rest yourself. I’ll even help you load your car if you need the help.”

    (After more incoherent yelling, the customer hangs up. The next day she came in and apologized for her behavior, saying that it was uncalled for. She then went around the store and thanked each employee for being so helpful. Can’t say that I was expecting that.)

    Graded A For Audacity

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Top

    Customer: “Why won’t anyone help me?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, I didn’t see you. What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “I’m a student, and I have an essay due in two days.”

    Me: “Okay, well what can I do for you? Do you need some research material?”

    Customer: “Research material?”

    Me: “Yes, like books, or websites, maybe news paper articles?”

    Customer: “No, I need you to type up my essay.”

    Me: “We don’t actually offer that service, but I can certainly find you a computer to use to type it up.”

    Customer: “Fine.”

    (I set the customer up on our word processing computer and give her some extra time to make sure she can get the essay finished. I then move away to continue working.)

    Customer: *at the top of her voice again* “Excuse me! What are you doing?”

    Me: “Did you need some help?”

    Customer: “You haven’t even started my essay and you’ve walked away!”

    Me: “Wait… are you asking me to actually write your essay for you?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “No, I can’t do that. You have to do your own essay, I’m afraid.”

    Customer: “This library is horrible!” *storms out*

    (Things didn’t end there; after leaving the library, the customer spent half an hour outside in the car park, screaming at people not to go inside!)

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