Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Not Too Chicken To Confront About The Chicken

, | Lethbridge, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I’m ordering on a busy day at a popular sandwich chain.)

Me: “I’ll have the egg and cheese, please.”

(The worker puts an egg patty on my sandwich.)

Lady Behind Me: “Ew! Gross! What is that? WHY would you EAT that?”

Me: “Oh, it’s just an egg patty. They’re pretty tasty, actually.”

Lady Behind Me: *grumbles* “Gross.”

(I don’t think anything more of her until it is her time to order.)

Lady Behind Me: “Now, I want a chicken sandwich. But not that chicken. That chicken looks too pink. Do you have anything fresher and more well-cooked?”

Worker: “No, sorry, that’s the only chicken we have.”

Lady Behind Me: “FINE. But if I get food poisoning I’m coming back to sue you PERSONALLY. Now, I want two and a half slices of cheese on the bottom of my sandwich.”

(The worker starts putting cheese on.)

Lady Behind Me: “I said on the bottom!” *now screaming* “ON. THE. BOTTOM. HOW IS THAT SO HARD?!”

(I am now biting my tongue, despite being pretty shy about speaking to strangers. The worker moves the lady’s sandwich to the vegetables section.)

Lady Behind Me: “I want some shredded lettuce.”

(The worker puts a handful of lettuce on.)

Lady Behind Me: “More.”

(The worker adds another handful.)

Lady Behind Me: Less.

(The worker takes some off.)

Lady Behind Me: “More.”

Me: “OH, MY GOD. Go home and make your own f****** sandwich! There’s a grocery store next door. Go buy your own cheese and your own chicken and your own stupid lettuce and quit harassing the employees! As a bonus, you won’t have to look at ‘gross’ food like mine!”

(The customers who had been stuck behind her applaud slowly. The lady turns beet red and storms out, leaving her sandwich. The next customer points at me.)

Next Customer: “I’d like to pay for her sandwich, please!”

Trying To Drive The Job Away

| Frederick, MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Geography

(I work for a health insurance company.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name].”

Caller: “Hi, I was just cut off by a bus on the highway and I demand you fire the driver!”

Me: “I’m not sure that I can help you with that.”

Caller: “The bus had your company’s logo on the side of it. Fire the driver!”

Me: “Where are you?”

Caller: “Miami. Aren’t you?”

Me: “No, I’m in Maryland, and I’m sure the bus just had an ad for our product on it. We wouldn’t own the bus.”

Caller: “Well, transfer me to someone who can fire the bus driver.”

Way To Burst Her Bubble

, | PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work in online customer service. I am on the phone with a customer inquiring about our personalized bubble sets.)

Customer: “So. what do the bubbles look like?”

Me: “Well, we have them in bottles shaped like wands, bells, the champagne bottles, etc.”

Customer: “Yeah, but what are the bubbles shaped like?”

Me: “Ma’am, they’re bubble shaped.”

Customer: “But the website says bell shaped.”

Me: “Yes, that means the bottle is shaped like a bell. The bubbles are bubble shaped.”

Customer: “But I want them shaped like bells.”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s impossible to make the bubbles shaped like bells. They can only be bubble shaped.”

Moan-et

| TX, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

(We have a semi-regular customer who comes in with ‘research projects,’ generally meaning she wants someone to find all the best, cheapest books on a particular subject for her. Today, it’s Monet. I’ve already spent way too much time walking her through available and in print books on a busy day.)

Me: “So these are the only ones available in the store today, but we can certainly order any of these titles for you.”

Customer: “You don’t understand. It’s very important and I need them now.”

Me: “Well, we can get them in about a week, or you might try [Nearby Store]. Their art section is larger than ours.”

Customer: “But I don’t want to have to go there! Call and find out if they have the books.”

(I call our competitor and check:)

Me: “They do have a selection of books on Monet to choose from.”

Customer: *in great exasperation* “Well, can’t they just bring them here?”

Not Quite The Threat Of A Lifetime

| VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

(I’m a bouncer at a sports bar. Since we’re a franchise, we are only allowed to play certain channels on our TVs [mostly sports channels]. A woman calls me over to her table.)

Customer: “Excuse me, young man, but can you change the channel on this TV to Lifetime?”

(The television she is referring to is one of the largest ones we own, and there is a college basketball game playing.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we’re only allowed to display certain channels, and Lifetime isn’t one of them.”

Customer: “Why not? Other restaurants can play any channel they want to.”

Me: “This is a sports bar; we only play sports channels specifically for that reason.”

Customer: “So you CAN’T change the channel or you WON’T?”

(I am silent, almost dumbfounded by her ignorance of the situation.)

Customer: “Yep, that’s what I thought. I’m not speaking another word to you. Get me the manager.”

(The manager comes over and offers her a compromise: he will move her to a different table near one of our smaller television sets, where he was willing to make an exception and play Lifetime just for her.)

Customer: “No! I want to watch it on the big TV!”

Manager: “Ma’am, we simply can’t do that. This is a sports bar and we have other customers wanting to watch the game.”

Customer: “Well, then make THEM watch it on the smaller screen!”

Manager: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but there’s nothing else I can do for you. You can watch your program on the TV over there or not watch it at all.”

(She rudely picks up her drink and storms over to the table near the smaller TV. After her program finishes she begins to leave (after leaving no tip) and makes a point to come up to me:)

Customer: “Tell your manager that I will not be returning, and I will also be writing a horrible review on Yelp!”

Me: “Oh, no! People will find out we don’t play Lifetime at a sports bar! We’re going to lose so much business…”

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