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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    There… Are… Four… Pumps!

    | NM, USA | Crazy Requests, Top, Transportation

    (One of my regulars comes in.)

    Regular: “$20 on pump five.”

    Me: “We don’t have a pump five. We only have four pumps.”

    Regular: “Yes you do. I’m on the white car.”

    (I look out the window to see what pump she’s on, and I am surprised to see four white cars.)

    Me: “Which white car one is yours, ma’am?”

    Regular: “The white one!”

    Me: “Ma’am, all the cars on the pumps are white; what make is yours?”

    Regular: “THE WHITE ONE! Just put $20 on five so I can go!”

    Me: “We still don’t have a pump five, and I’m trying to find out what car is yours, seeing as no one else is in here to tell me what one isn’t theirs.”

    Regular: “It is your job to know exactly what car is mine! I have no reason to tell you what car is mine; just put my gas on pump five so I can get out of here.”

    Me: “Okay, fine, I will put $20 on pump five.”

    Regular: “Now was that so hard?”

    (The customer leaves, and I sit and wait for her to return to complain that her gas isn’t pumping. Seeing as I should know her car, and have explained that we don’t have a pump five, I don’t put the money in when she picks up the handle for pump four.)

    Regular: “Why isn’t my gas pumping on pump four?”

    Me: “I put it on pump five, like you asked.”


    Me: “Ma’am, I have over 100 regulars who come into this store. If I memorized every one of their cars, I wouldn’t have to room for anything else. Next time you are in, remember we don’t have a pump five, and we are not required to know what car you drive. I’m just here to take money and push buttons.”

    Regular: “Useless… just useless! I’m late for work because of you! My job is more important!”

    Me: “Oh goody! Where do you work?”

    Regular: “At [local fast food restaurant].”

    Me: “Well, okay then. If you hadn’t actually been fighting with me, and simply explained that you were on the back pump closest to the fence, you’d be on your way to your job. Have a nice day!”

    Regular: “I’m never shopping here again!”

    Me: “See you next week.”

    (I did.)

    They Handle Suits For A Living

    | Brooklyn, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Top

    Customer: “I’m here to pick up my jacket. The ticket number is [number].”

    Me: “Let me check…”

    (Upon checking the ticket, I realize that the jacket has been left two years ago. This most likely means that it’s since been donated to charity, or auctioned off. According to the state law, after being unclaimed for six months, clothing can be donated to charity or sold off to recoup the losses.)

    Me: “I’m going to go check if we have it in the back. I’ll be back in a minute.”

    (Sure enough, it doesn’t exist.)

    Me: “It looks like we don’t have your jacket anymore, since it was left here two years ago and has never been claimed.”

    Customer: “What do you mean it’s not here anymore?”

    Me: “Since your jacket had been left here two years ago, it was probably donated or auctioned off by the previous owner.”

    Customer: “No, that can’t be. Go back there check again.”

    (I go into the back again, but come out empty handed.)

    Me: “Nope. We don’t have it anymore. Sorry.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe this! You guys can’t just get rid of my clothes like that! It’s an expensive jacket! Do you know how much that jacket cost me?”

    Me: “Actually, yes, we can, according to the law, cited in section 399-BB. Any clothes left unclaimed for more than six months can be donated to charity or sold off.”

    Customer: “Nuh-uh! You find my jacket, or I’ll call the police!”

    Me: “I said it before and I’ll say it again: your jacket is not here anymore. I’d love to find your jacket so we can resolve this issue, but I can’t.”

    Customer: “It cost me $800!”

    Me: “I wish I could help you, but I can’t since it’s been disposed of by the previous owner.”

    Customer: “I’ll sue you! I’m going to the small claims court and suing your a**!”

    Me: “So, let me put it into perspective: you leave your precious $800 jacket here, come back out of the blue after two years, and then threaten to sue us, even though the law in this case, which was created specifically for situations like this, states that we aren’t responsible for unclaimed clothes that have been left at the premises for more than six months? Not to mention the fact that we have absolutely no recollection of this, since our family took over the store just a couple of months ago?”

    (Due to the inability to provide a rational response, the customer proceeds to flip out. Eventually, the police are involved after the customer made the phone call, and an officer is dispatched. I explain to the officer what has occurred, as well as the law regarding the matter, and he sides with us. The customer ends up leaving empty-handed.)

    It’s A Bad Sign When They Have A Bad Sign

    | VT, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

    (I work at a large department store where there’s one sale a week on average. Because the sale prices are usually the same, our signing team leaves old signs behind the current ones so they don’t have to reprint every sign every time our prices change. Most customers don’t even think to look behind the visible sign, and those who do understand that the price they can see is the current price. A customer brings up a piece of one of our top brands of luggage, and a sign taken out of the sign holder.)

    Customer: “Hi, this sign was behind a sign that said they were full price, but the dates include today. Can I get it for half off?”

    (I look at the bottom of the sign, and see that in light gray print over white says ’121912 12513′.)

    Me: “Those are just identification numbers, but let me check the price for you.”

    (I bring the suitcase to a register and scan it. Just as the sign in front says, it rings up full price.)

    Me: “The sign is up for the sale that starts next week.”

    Customer: “So I can get it half off, right?”

    Me: “Unfortunately not, ma’am.”

    Customer: “But the sign says it’s half off.”

    Me: “You said this was behind a sign that gave the full price, right?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Manager: “So let me get this right: you pulled apart one of our signs, found one that isn’t current, and want that price?”

    Customer: “Yes! That’s what the sign says!”

    Me: “We can hold it for you until the sale starts.”

    Customer: “No! I have to take it to Atlanta tomorrow! I want the price the sign says! Can’t you just give it to me early?”

    Me: “If I did that, I could get fired.”

    Customer: “So…?”

    Me: “It’s full price.”

    (The customer leaves, muttering about false advertising.)

    Sewing The Seeds of Anger

    | Belgium | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

    (I started sewing a few years ago, and got good enough at it to make most of my clothes myself, which has resulted in a wardrobe consisting of some unusual prints. A regular customer comes up to me.)

    Customer: “I love your dress! You’re always wearing such special clothes! Do tell me where you shop!”

    Me: “Actually, I made this one myself. Thanks for the compliment!”

    Customer: “Really? That’s great! Can you make one for me?”

    Me: “Um… I have never made anything for someone else, and besides, I don’t have any of this fabric left, so I’m afraid I can’t do that!”

    (The customer suddenly gets angry.)

    Customer: “Now that’s just rude! Why would you do that? You’re just making pretty clothes for yourself so you can tell other people they will never have them!”

    (The customer slams the money on the counter, and leaves in a huff.)

    Less Charge, Less Thanks

    | TN, USA | Crazy Requests

    (A coworker and I have just set up the sales sign in the store. We are discussing which signs are going to give us the most problems.)

    Coworker: “The ones up front say everything is 30% off, but when I scanned it at the till, it’s 50% off.”

    Me: “At least it’s not the other way around. Someone can have a pleasant surprise at the register.”

    Manager: “Did you two see any of the signs for up front?”

    Coworker: “Yeah, I put up the ones corporate sent us.”

    Manager: “Did they say 50% off?”

    Coworker: “No, they all said 30% off, but everything is ringing up at 50% off.”

    Manager: “Oh. I just had a lady accuse me of false advertising.”

    Coworker: “What? But she got the 50% off. Why would she complain? She got a better deal than the sign said.”

    Manager: “I’m going to go make new signs…”

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