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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    More Truffle Than It’s Worth

    | State College, PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

    Customer: “I’ll take the southwestern burger, but absolutely no mushrooms. I’m allergic to mushrooms.”

    (I go back to the kitchen to let the cook know of the allergy. This means they have to clean every cooking utensil and grill that may have touched a mushroom. After stopping service  for ten minutes to clean, the cook lets me know of some complications.)

    Me: “Ma’am, we’ve removed all allergens from the cooking area but the cook has let me know that the bun for your burger is toasted on the same toaster as the mushroom focaccia and can’t be cleaned. We can grill it on the grill for you instead?”

    Customer: “That’s fine. No mushrooms. I’m allergic.”

    (I return to the kitchen, and the cook is meticulously going through our ingredients to make sure no other issues arise. He finds
    another.)

    Me: “Ma’am, sorry to bother you again. But the salsa on your burger doesn’t list all of the ingredients so better safe than sorry; we didn’t put the salsa on the burger.”

    Customer: “Why not? I want the salsa!”

    Me: “But it probably has chopped mushrooms.”

    Customer: “I don’t care. I’m not really allergic. I just really don’t like them.”

    (The cook nearly killed me when I went back to tell him.)

    Childhood Innocence, Adulthood Nonsense

    | Germany | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (I work as the cashier of a photographer. A customer and her husband walk in, asking for the photos of their children.)

    Me: *handing them the photos* “Here you go. You have nice-looking children, by the way.”

    Customer: “Thanks, but…can’t you, you know, make my daughter prettier?”

    Me: “Prettier?”

    Customer: “Yes, I mean, look at her!”

    Me: “Madam, I am sure these photographs have been retouched well by my coworkers. If you have any complaints about their work, I can–”

    Customer: “NO! I want this to be remade!”

    Me: “What exactly bothers you about these photos, anyway?”

    Customer: “It’s her boobs. You guys should have made them far bigger!”

    Me: “You want them…bigger?”

    Customer: “Yes! How hard is that?”

    Customer’s husband: *quietly* “Honey, you do realize she is 8 years old?”

    A Dead Giveaway

    | TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I am answering the switchboard for a large hospital.)

    Caller: “Hi, I was wondering if you could tell me what phone company the hospital uses?”

    Me: “I’m not sure. The person that has that information left at 5:00 p.m. But if you call our purchasing office in the morning, they can tell you.”

    Caller: “Oh, no! It is a matter of grave importance that I find out right now!”

    Me: “What is the situation? Maybe I can help?”

    Caller: “My grandmother died there about a week ago and she didn’t have a will. I know for a fact that all the phone companies record all of our conversations. So, I thought maybe grandma called someone while she was in the hospital and told them what she left me.”

    I Dreamed A Dream Of Calls Gone By

    | New Zealand | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem

    (I work at a place that does repairs for Sony computers, stereos, cameras and the like. Hence, our store has the word ‘Sony’ in the title.)

    Me: “Good morning, [company name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Is that Sony Music?”

    Me: “No, sorry, this is Sony Repairs.”

    Customer: “I’m trying to get through to Simon Cowell. He works with Susan Boyle.”

    Me: “No, sorry. We repair Sony laptops.”

    Customer: “So, you’re not Sony Music. Repairs are no good. Thanks.”

    Give Customers A Piece Of Your Mind

    | Dartmouth, NS, Canada | Crazy Requests

    (An irate customer is frustrated with my store’s return policy, and asks me to call my manager.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but she isn’t answering her cell phone or house number, but she’ll be in tomorrow if you want to try again then.”

    Customer: “No! You get her on the phone now!”

    Me: “I just called both of the numbers she provided, and she didn’t answer. That sort of leaves me with telepathy.”

    Customer: “Well, could you try that?”

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