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  • Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    The Problem Is The Problem

    | NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

    Customer: “Hello, I own a house I’m trying to sell. The potential buyer had an engineering inspection done, and the inspector told me to call you to come out.”

    Me: “Okay, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “I don’t know.”

    Me: “Well, we need something to go on here. Do you know what we’re looking for, or where we should look?”

    Customer: “All I know is the inspector told me to call [Utility Name], and have them come out.”

    Me: “Did they say what was wrong?”

    Customer: “No! Why are you making this so hard?”

    Me: “In order to send a crew out to potentially fix something, we have to have some idea what is broken. Also, whatever is broken might turn out to be customer owned, and not our equipment. In that case we will not be able to. Lastly, we need to send different crews for different issues. In order to send the correct people, we need to know what we’re dealing with.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand why this has to be difficult! I’m reporting an issue to you, and I need you to come out and fix it. Why can’t you just send somebody out! I don’t understand why this is so hard!”

    Me: “So, let me get this straight. You want me to send out a crew to repair something, but you don’t know what is broken, why you need us to come out, or if it is even an issue on our end, or our responsibility at all?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    A Taxing Interview

    | England, UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Top

    (I’m supposed to be doing interviews for a new babysitter within the hour. I quickly run out to the local supermarket to pick up a few supplies, such as biscuits and coffee for the interviewees. There is a very long line. It’s my turn to be rung up, when another customer approaches me.)

    Other Customer: “Hi, sorry, but can I just skip the queue in front of you? I’ve got a very important meeting soon.”

    Me: “Sorry, but I’m in a bit of a rush myself you see, I—”

    Other Customer: “Now you listen here you ungrateful b****! You are not in as much of a rush as me! I have a very important meeting soon! Do you know what that means? It means I have the opportunity to get a job, unlike you, you lazy b****! You probably just live off of benefits; wasting tax-payer’s money, buying s*** that you don’t even deserve! I have a job opportunity that you will never have!”

    Employee: “Excuse me, miss; I’m going to have to ask you to leave right now!”

    Other Customer: “I will not leave! Kick her out; she’s the one wasting our taxes!”

    (Security escorts her out.)

    Me: “Thank you! What a b****!”

    Employee: “Tell me about it! Are you okay?”

    Me: “Yes, I’m fine thanks!”

    (I return home half an hour later, just 10 minutes before my first interviewee is due. Lo and behold, it turns out to be the rude customer from the shop. It turns out that the important meeting she had was with me. Not surprisingly, she didn’t get the job.)

    Talking Non-Cents In The Dollar Store

    | Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (It’s a busy Saturday, and both our cash registers are lined up with customers. A woman is stood next to the line-up, clearing her throat and trying to get my attention. She finally shoves her way to the cash, ahead of the line-up.)

    Customer: “I need to return all these stickers. I was charged $7, when they’re only supposed to be $2!”

    (I’d normally send her to the back of the line, but at this point it will be faster just to serve her and get her out of the way.)

    Me: “I’m sorry about that, sometimes when we’re busy a cashier can miss a mistake like that. I just need your receipt.”

    Customer: “I don’t have my receipt! I shouldn’t have to keep my receipt; you made the mistake!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; but I cannot do a return or exchange without a receipt. There has been an issue lately of people trying to return items they didn’t pay for.”

    Customer: “Are you calling me a thief? You charged me $5 extra per sticker, and I bought ten stickers! Give me my money!”

    Me: “Again, ma’am, I’m sorry. I cannot do a return or exchange without a receipt. If you’d like to wait a few minutes, my manager will be back from her break. Honestly, she’s only going to tell you the same thing, however.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous, I’m not waiting around for anyone! You’re wasting my time; now give me my money back! This happens all the time here! You guys didn’t ask for a receipt the last time! I’m a paying customer! I bought a bunch of these stickers before, and the same thing happened!”

    Me: “If this has happened to you with this item before, why didn’t you confirm they were ringing in at the correct price the second time?”

    (The woman turns beet red. Without saying anything, she throws the stack of stickers at me and storms out the door, shoving past people as she goes.)

    Next Customer: “They really need to give you kids hazard pay for this s***.”

    Fabricate An Excuse Not To

    | Lansdale, PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

    (A customer comes into the fabric store where I work. She is holding a scrap of plain black fabric, about the size of a postage stamp.)

    Customer: “Excuse me; I need help. I purchased a few yards of this fabric the other day, and I need more of it.”

    Me: “Okay, do you have your receipt?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Do you have the serial number?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Uh, do you know what the fabric was called? Or where you found it?”

    Customer: “Nope.”

    Me: “So, you want me to look through every black fabric in the entire store until I find one that looks similar?”

    Customer: “Could you?”

    Purple People Displeaser

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque

    (I work in the customer service department for an adult goods store. I receive a phone call.)

    Me: “Hello, you’re speaking to [name] at [adult store]; how can I help?”

    Customer: “I’m not happy with my order; it’s the wrong colour! I want an apology!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, sir; if you give me the order number I’ll investigate.”

    (The customer gives me his order number, and we verify the security details.)

    Me: “Okay, so which item was incorrect, please?”

    Customer: “It was the Purple [Name]!”

    Me: “I see, I’m very sorry to hear that. What colour did you receive?”

    Customer: “Purple! I don’t like purple!”

    Me: “So, you ordered an item called the Purple [Name], but you didn’t want it in purple? I’m afraid it only comes in purple, but we’d be happy to refund you.”

    Customer: “That’s not good enough! How was I supposed to know it was purple?! I don’t like purple things!”

    Me: “Okay, did you purchase this through our website?”

    Customer: “Yes, I was looking at the pictures and this one looked good, so I added it to my basket!”

    Me: “So, you saw that the item was purple in the picture. You saw it had purple in the name, and then you added it to your basket, and confirmed this when you selected your payment method; is that correct?”

    Customer: “Yes! But it didn’t send me a message to say it was purple! Your company is terrible!”

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