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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Their Bark Is Worse Than Any Dog’s Bite

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

    (I work at a pet store that also offers boarding/day care services for dogs. We have three day camps, two of which are visible to customers inside and outside of the store. I am on my way back from a break when I notice a father, mother, and child standing in front of a window, looking into one of the day camps.)

    Me: “Hello! I see you have noticed one of our day camp rooms. Do you have any questions about our boarding and day camp services?”

    Father: “Yes, we do. What is that dog?” *points*

    Me: “That would be Oso. He’s a real sweetheart.”

    Father: “And what breed is he?”

    Me: “He’s a Great Pyrenees mix.”

    Mother: “We’ll take him.”

    Me: “…I’m sorry?”

    Mother: “I SAID, we’ll take him.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but these dogs are not for sale.”

    Father: “What?”

    Me: “All of these dogs are staying with us while their owners are out of town. Some of them, like Oso, only come in for a few hours every day because the owners don’t want them to be left home alone all day.”

    Mother: “That’s ridiculous. Why would you have these dogs on display if they weren’t for sale?”

    Father: “We’d like to purchase that dog. How much is he?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but none of these dogs are for sale. We do offer adoption services on weekends, so you are more than welcome to come back on Saturday and look at the puppies.”

    Child: *whining* “I want the dooooggiiiiiiie!”

    Father: “Yes, but we want THAT dog. How much is he?”

    Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but none of these dogs are for sale. They all have owners.”

    Mother: “Then how about that dog?” *points at a different one*

    Me: “I don’t know what that dog’s name is.”

    Mother: “No, no, how much is that dog? If the first one isn’t for sale, then what about this one?”

    Me: “Ma’am, NONE of the dogs are for sale. They ALL have owners.”

    Mother: “Then why are you displaying them in the store if they aren’t for sale?!”

    Child: “I WANT THE DOGGIE!”

    Me: “Excuse me, but I need to clock back in from break. Let me get the manager…”

    (When the store manager came by, they asked how much Oso was again. When they were told he was not for sale, the child threw a major temper tantrum, both of the parents starting yelling at the store manager, and they only left after the store manager threatened to call security.)

    FYI Your ETA Is TBA, So TTYL

    | AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

    (I am dealing with a pushy customer; he’s submitted a trouble ticket but called in less than two minutes asking for an update.)

    Me: “Sir, I am unable to give an ETA at this time. I am still looking into this issue.”

    Customer: “So, you cannot give me an ETA?”

    Me: “No, I am unable to give an ETA at this time.”

    Customer: “When can I get an ETA?”

    Me: “Sir, are you asking for an ETA on the ETA?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “I will let you know when there are any further updates…”

    Time To Start Screening The Tourists

    | Utah, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Tourists/Travel

    (Every year, my town hosts Sundance, which tends to bring some strange people along with it. I am the only one working in a very small paint store, right before close. A customer comes in and proceeds to look around the store for about 15 minutes.)

    Me: “I am sorry, sir. We are getting ready to close. Can I help you find something?”

    Customer: “I am looking for stuff to make a pipe.”

    Me: “Well, sir, we do have some stuff to fix plumbing pipes.”

    Customer: “No! I need to make a pipe to smoke out of.”

    Me: “Uh, we really don’t have anything like that.”

    Customer: “What the h*** kind of hardware store is this?!”

    Me: “…A paint store?”

    Customer: “Oh… then, can I buy some spray paint to get high on?”

    Me: “No, sir. That is illegal.”

    Customer: “Even during Sundance?”

    Me: “Especially during Sundance!”

    Customer: “Buzzkill!” *walks out*

    Demanding To A Fault

    | Christchurch, New Zealand | Crazy Requests

    (This happens two days after New Zealand suffered a major earthquake. Most of the central city is a Red Zone with people still trapped in buildings; there is absolutely no access allowed. There are a lot of phone lines out due to breakages, and our technicians are working heaps of extra hours. Everyone is under huge stress.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [Company] Faults Service. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “My phone isn’t working. I need a technician.”

    Me: “Right, I’m sure I can help you with that. Firstly, where are you?”

    Caller: “I’m in Christchurch.”

    Me: “Okay. We’ve had considerable disruption of our Christchurch services due to the earthquake. Our technicians are not available for callouts at the moment, unfortunately. I can give you an idea of when the service might be restored, though.”

    Caller: “I live at [address in the middle of the Red Zone]. I need you to get a technician to come out now.”

    Me: “Unfortunately, I can’t do that. That address is in the Red Zone, and we aren’t allowed access.”

    Caller: “But I was allowed in. You should be too. I need my phone to work!”

    Me: “Well, you’re a resident, ma’am. You have special dispensation to go into the Red Zone.

    Caller: “But I need my phone to work! I need it for my business! Get a technician out, now!”

    Me: “I’m afraid we can’t do that, ma’am. We can’t access your address, and our technicians are flat-tack busy at the moment trying to restore services.”

    Caller: “This is terrible service! I should have gone with [other company]! They guarantee a technician within an hour!”

    Me: “Ah, so do we, ma’am. But this is extreme circumstances, and—”

    Caller: “Don’t you give me excuses! I want a technician, NOW!”

    Me: “Unfortunately, that’s simply not possible. We will restore service as soon as we can, but right now we can’t send out a technician to help you.”

    Caller: “Well, I’ll be calling back again when I get back from Auckland! Maybe I’ll get better service then!”

    Me: “…Auckland?”

    Caller: “Yes, I’m going to go stay with my relatives. Don’t you know there’s been an earthquake?!”

    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 6

    | Canada | Crazy Requests, Tourists/Travel

    Guest: “Excuse me?”

    Ride Operator: “Yes, sir?”

    Guest: “Where’s the VIP line of this ride?”

    Ride Operator: *confused* “VIP line for what, sir?”

    Guest: “For us, the Americans. Where’s the VIP line for the Americans?”

    Ride Operator: “We don’t have a VIP line sir for Americans… or anyone.”

    Guest: *huffs* “Well, you should!”

    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 5
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 4
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 3
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 2
    Canada: America’s Hat

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