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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Odds Of Finding A Seat Are Not In Their Favor

    | MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Movies & TV

    (It is the day before Thanksgiving at the movie theater where I work and ‘The Hunger Games’ has just premiered. Obviously, we are completely swamped. All four open tills have had an unending line of customers for the past hour. Despite this, my coworkers and I are all in sync and nothing has gone wrong the whole night. Suddenly, a family I don’t recognize walks up to me.)

    Mother: “Excuse me. You need to do something about this right away.”

    Me: “What is the problem, ma’am?”

    Father: “You oversold this theater! There’re more people in there then there are seats! People are sitting in the aisles!”

    (Our computer system that alerts us when a theater is about to sell out has malfunctioned, so we stopped selling tickets to “The Hunger Games” when there were only five seats remaining, as opposed to the fifteen we would normally. My guess is that they can’t find seats together.)

    Me: “I’m very sorry that the theater is crowded. I’ve called my manager down to see what he wants us to do. In any case you will definitely get a full refund.”

    Father: “We don’t want a refund. We want to see the movie! WE can’t do that because YOU sold us tickets to a movie with no seats.”

    Me: “You see, there must be at least five open seats in the theater because we can’t sell more tickets than there are seats.”

    (I tilt my register forward so they can see it and try to sell the last five tickets, showing them that it physically won’t let me.)

    Mother: “Well you DID sell more!”

    (At this point my manager arrives. They yell at him, and he instructs me to refund the total of their tickets and concessions purchases.)

    Daughter: “Thanks for nothing. We’ll go to a theater that knows what they’re doing.”

    Me: *to my manager* “Says the people who came ten minutes late to the most popular movie of the year and expected to find three seats together.”

    (My manager later went into the theater to find nobody ‘sitting in the aisles,’ and a total of five unoccupied seats. Not together, of course.)

    On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 8

    | MD, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I work in a well-known department store chain as a cashier. By law, I’m required to offer our store credit card to each and every customer that comes through my line if they’re over the age of 18.)

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, your total is [total]. If you don’t have our [Store] card, I can try to save you $10 or $15 on this purchase.”

    Customer: *mumbles so low that I can’t hear her*

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Could you please repeat that?”


    (At this point she starts screaming her head off, and I see my manager, who is really short and stocky, running down the aisle to see what all the yelling is about.)


    Me: “Ma’am, I have never met you before. How would I know that you don’t have any credit cards?”


    Me: “Ma’am… those are two completely separate things.”

    Customer: “NO, THEY’RE NOT! STOP F***ING LYING TO ME!”

    (My manager has just gotten to my booth when the customer slaps me, hard, across my face.)

    Manager: “[Customer]! Why did you just hit my cashier?!”


    Manager: “Get out of my store! This is the third time you’ve done this! Do not come back!”


    Manager: *after the customer left* “Are you okay? Go on a break. I’ll cover for you.”

    Me: “So… no hazard pay?”

    Manager: “Ha. Good luck with that. I’ve been here 40 years and I don’t get hazard pay.”

    (She did the customer satisfaction survey on the receipt that we print out and gave me the lowest possible rating, a 0, because of “terrible service” and actually WON a $1,000 gift card to the store via the sweepstakes system. Corporate was notified and they cancelled the gift card right away and gave me a $100 gift card!)

    On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 7
    On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 6
    On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 5

    Doesn’t Even Close A Sale

    | Fort Wayne, IN, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s been a slow night, and my coworker and I have been the only people in the store for over an hour. It’s five minutes until closing time.)

    Coworker: “I think I’ll go lock up a few minutes early. I don’t think anyone else is coming in.”

    Me: “Fine by me. I’ll get started on the register.”

    (Right on cue, the door opens and a customer walks in.)

    Coworker: “Oh, welcome. Is there anything we can help you find?”

    Customer: “No, not right now. I’m just here to look around.”

    (The customer wanders over to the trinket section. Since we’re not allowed to tell customers that we’re about to close, my coworker makes a big show about locking the door. The customer doesn’t notice.)

    Me: “Hi, ma’am. Is there anything I can help you find tonight?”

    Customer: *flipping through a magazine from the display* “No. I’m good, thanks.”

    Me: *loudly* “[Coworker], I’m gonna go grab the vacuum so we can begin the nightly cleaning!”

    Coworker: *just as loudly* “Okay! Make sure you hit some of the lights in the back too! I’m going to flip the sign on the door since it’s past eight o’clock!”

    (My coworker and I continue loudly discussing our nightly duties every time we pass by the browsing woman. We keep asking her if she needs anything, and each time she waves us away. In desperation, I turn off half the lights in the store, which doesn’t phase the customer at all. Finally, we are out of nightly chores to do; the only thing remaining is to close the register, which we can’t do while the customer is in the store.)

    Coworker: *loudly* “Man, I can’t wait to go home. I’m really hungry.”

    Me: *loudly* “Me, too! I have homework to get started on once I get home. What time is it?”

    Coworker: “8:15.”

    (We drift into silence and stare at the customer as she picks up figurines off a shelf, examines them, and sets them back down. After a few minutes, the customer suddenly looks up and seems to realize that the lights are off, the store is deadly quiet, and the two employees are staring straight at her.)

    Customer: “Oh, my. Are you guys closing?”

    Me: *relieved* “Yes, ma’am. We closed nearly 20 minutes ago. We’re just waiting on you.”

    Customer: “Oh.”

    (She continues browsing for another 10 minutes. Finally, she makes her way to the front of the store.)

    Coworker: *unlocking the door* “Was there anything you needed to buy, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Oh, no, not tonight. I just like looking around. Good night!”

    His Attitude Speaks Volumes

    | Cambridge, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

    (I am browsing in a well-known book store. There is an employee a few feet away from me currently filling and pricing an entire bookcase by herself. Bypassing the customer service desk right next to me, an angry-looking man storms towards the employee.)

    Customer: “You! You need to help me! I’m looking for volume 12 of [Popular New Manga Series] and you need to get it for me!”

    Employee: “Oh. Well, all our manga books are just there, where that lady is currently stood.”

    Customer: “But I can’t find it! You need to get it for me now!”

    Employee: “I’m ever so sorry, but I’m unable to leave these books unattended at the moment. There should be another of my colleagues that might be able to help you find it at the customer service desk which is just ov—”

    Customer: “But YOU need to help me! I’ve asked you! My son needs that volume and YOU need to get it for him!”

    Employee: “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do for you.”

    (The man storms off back in my direction, shouting back at the employee.)

    Customer: “Well, you’ve been a TREMENDOUS help! Thanks for nothing, you stupid b****!”

    Me: “Hey, there’s absolutely no need for that!”

    Customer: “And just what are YOU going to do about it, b****?!”

    Me: “Hmmm, I don’t know… Oh, wait. Didn’t I hear you say you were looking for the new volume of [Popular New Manga Series]? Volume 12, wasn’t it?”

    Customer: “Yeah? What of it?!”

    Me: “Forgive me if I’m wrong, but the book I’m currently holding just happens to be that volume, doesn’t it?”

    Customer: “Yes! Where was that?!”

    Me: “Exactly where the employee told you it was before you berated her. Such a shame that this is the last copy as well. Seeing as you were such an insufferable d*****bag, you now get to watch me carry it to the checkout and purchase it! Bye!”

    (The man screamed at me and the employee for so long that the police were called. The employee actually bought the book for me out of her own pocket as a way of thanking me!)

    Cleaning Out The Trash

    | Anchorage, AK, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (It is 10 minutes after closing, and my manager hadn’t locked our front door. Two customers walk in. Our focus is on customer service as a business, so we allow them to shop. I am currently mopping the floor, which is filthy because of the snow.)

    Customer #1: “Ew! Something smells disgusting over here!” *walking towards mop bucket* “Ugh, it’s this!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, it’s strong cleaning fluid. Our floors get nasty in the winter.”

    Customer #2: “Do you really need to do that right now? We are trying to shop!”

    Me: *eyetwitch* “I’m very sorry, ladies. We closed 15 minutes ago, so I am just trying to finish the nightly chores so we can go home. I haven’t mopped in the direction you’re headed, so it shouldn’t bother you after this patch.”

    Customer #1: “…rude.” *both of them walk off*

    Coworker: *who has been watching quietly* “Actually, I just finished mopping over there.”

    Me: “You’re my favorite.”