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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    We Have No Store, For The Record

    | NYC, USA | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem

    (I’m sure most of you have heard about Hurricane Sandy and the devastation it wreaked upon New York. Our store faced severe damage and was nearly completely destroyed. A couple of days after Sandy left the city I went back in to assess the damage and begin business continuity operations. I was searching through the rubble to find anything salvageable when amazingly, the phone began to ring.)

    Me: “Um, hello.”

    Customer: “Hi, is this [Music Store]?”

    Me: “Yes, yes it is.”

    Customer: “Why haven’t you guys sent me the record I ordered yet? It was supposed to be here three days ago. I’ve been ringing and ringing.”

    Me: *confused* “Umm…”

    Customer: *angry* “DON’T GIVE ME THAT ATTITUDE! I DEMAND THAT YOU BRING ME THE RECORD IN PERSON! TODAY!”

    Me: “Sir, you are aware that the city has just been hit with one of the worst hurricanes in recorded history?”

    Customer: “THAT’S YOUR PROBLEM, NOT MINE. I DEMAND MY RECORD AND I’LL BE COMPLAINING TO YOUR SUPERVISOR FOR YOUR TERRIBLE CUSTOMER SERVICE.”

    Me: “I’d be glad to give you your record once we have our business running again. Unfortunately we are presently unable to trade. I will contact you as soon as we are available for business once more.”

    Customer: “I’M GETTING MY RECORD TODAY EVEN IF I HAVE TO COME AND SMASH DOWN YOUR DOOR AND TAKE IT FROM YOU!”

    Me: “Go right ahead. We have no door. We’ve got about half a wall too. You’re welcome to come and search the rubble with me.” *click*

    It’s Not The Book That’s Bad For Society

    | NE, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

    (As I’m processing a return, the customer leans forward and begins talking quietly to me.)

    Customer: “So, are there books that your store won’t sell?”

    Me: *confused* “Well, if the book is rare or very old we sometimes can’t stock them.”

    Customer: “No, like, are there books you won’t sell because the government thinks they’re bad for society?”

    Me: “Um, I don’t think so…”

    Customer: “Do you have a list of the books that you won’t sell? Because the government doesn’t want you to?”

    Me: “…No.”

    A Slight Scratch In His Story

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

    (I work in a large home improvement store. I am taking a call from a customer in our appliance section.)

    Customer: “My toilet is scratched!”

    Me: “I am sorry, sir. Did we install it for you?”

    Customer: “No, a plumber did. But it was not scratched when he put it in!”

    Me: “What do you mean it was not scratched when he put it in?”

    Customer: “I cleaned it and then all these scratches showed up!”

    Me: “Uhm, what did you clean it with?”

    Customer: “Bleach!”

    Me: “Well, a lot of brands say not to soak in bleach because it takes off the glaze that helps the bowl stay clean. How long did it soak for?”

    Customer: “Overnight!”

    Me: “Well, sir, bleach is highly corrosive, and-”

    Customer: “I expect a full refund!”

    Me: “Sir, if the damage is caused by the customer, we cannot refund.”

    Customer: “Yes, you can! It was not scratched when I bought it!”

    Me: “That’s the point.”

    This Won’t ‘Be Good’

    | KY, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

    (Back in the eighties, a woman comes into our store:)

    Customer: “I want the new E.T. movie – E.T. Part 2.”

    Me: “There is no part two; it was a stand-alone movie.”

    Customer: “No! I’ve seen it advertised on television! It’s called, ‘E.T. Comes Home.’

    (I realize that the she had seen an ad for the release of the movie on videocassette – the tagline was “E.T. comes home, to videocassette.” I tried to explain this to her, and she started crying, stomping her feet, and yelling.)

    Customer: “I know you have Part Two! You won’t let me have it because you only want certain people to see the movie!”

    (The owner came over and the woman repeated her story. The owner then said she would check the catalog and give the customer a call. The customer insisted that I be fired for “being greedy” with the movies. Never saw her again after that.)

    Completely Obamacareless

    | VI, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Money

    (I work in client intake for a private pay home health care. We don’t take insurance of any kind and cater to a wealthier crowd in a home health agency. A woman calls up demanding care.)

    Me: “Hello. this is [Company]. How can I help you today?”

    Client: “Yes, I need to get set up with care in my home!”

    Me: “Great, I will just need to get some information from you and get one of our nurses to come out and do an assessment with you.”

    (I explain our pricing and our rates, I explain we are private pay only and do not accept insurance of any kind.)

    Client: “Oh, this sounds wonderful! My doctor. told me you would all take wonderful care of me! Who do I have my doctor fax the orders for Medicaid to?”

    Me: “Ma’am, as I have already stated to you we do not take Medicaid or any other insurance!”

    Client: “Yeah, but my doctor wrote an order! You have to do it!”

    Me: “I am sorry, but because we do not work with insurance companies a doctor can not just write an order and expect us to take it. We are not set up to even work with Medicaid.”

    (I explain again how we work and how our payment system is set up etc.. making sure to let her know clearly that we do not take any insurance and that she will have to pay 100% out of pocket!)

    Client: “Well, this is just stupid! You have to take care of me! I chose to call you! You cannot turn down a customer! I want care and you need to have a caregiver here by tomorrow or I will sue you!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am sorry but we can’t do that. It’s not possible. Would you like the names and numbers of companies that take Medicaid and can provide you with a home health aid?”

    Client: “No, I hate companies that take Medicaid! They all suck and the caregivers don’t work!”

    Me: “So, you are okay with our pricing and paying for the care yourself?”

    Client: “No, you will take my insurance or get sued!”

    Me: *click*

    (She called back for over two hours with me hanging up on her over and over again. She complained to her doctor, who called us and talked to me about how our services work. Turned out he had recommended us to this client as she does not qualify for in home health through Medicaid and told her the reason we could provide care is because we don’t take insurance and the client would be paying for the care herself!)

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