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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    They’re More Likely To Fly

    | Ireland | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I work in a busy cafeteria style restaurant in a popular tourist attraction. A customer walks up to our hot food counter.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, what’s vegetarian?”

    Me: “We have two soups which are vegetarian, we have a salad bar, and today we have a goat’s cheese quiche which is also vegetarian.”

    Customer: *points to the quiches displayed* “What about that one?”

    Me: “That is a quiche with leek and baked ham.”

    Customer: “Yeah, I want that.”

    Me: “Okay, but that’s not vegetarian. It has ham in it.”

    Customer: “Are you telling me I can’t have it?”

    Me: “Not at all, sir. I’m just letting you know it’s not vegetarian because it contains ham.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s what I want. Give a slice of that.”

    (I proceed to plate up his quiche and the sides he ordered. He walks away to pay and sits down. About 15 minutes later I’m now at the cash register serving another customer when I spot him standing close by holding his plate.)

    Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

    Customer: “I want a refund.”

    Me: “Was there something wrong with your meal?”

    Customer: “I asked for a vegetarian meal and I was served a quiche with meat in it.”

    Me: “Sir, I served you that quiche. I explained to you there was ham in it, therefore making it not vegetarian. You went ahead and ordered it anyway.”

    Customer: “But it has meat in it. I want a refund.”

    Me: “Sir, first of all, I told you it wasn’t vegetarian. Second of all, you have eaten all of it. I cannot give you a refund.”

    Customer: “I want to speak to a supervisor.”

    Me: “I am a supervisor. I cannot give you a refund because you were told that the meal you ordered was not vegetarian and I believe I pointed out more than once that there was ham in it.”

    Customer: *slams down his empty plate* “How was I supposed to know ham was meat?!”

    Me: “Sir, pigs don’t grow on trees.”

    What Would Jesus Order?

    | KY, USA | Crazy Requests, Religion

    (I own a small diner in the middle of town. Despite how small it is, we get a fair amount of customers during the week. However, weekends tend to be extremely slow, usually to the point that I can run everything by myself on Saturdays and Sundays. It’s reached the point where I don’t even bother to stay open past one pm, as it’s extremely rare that anyone comes in after that on those days. On Sunday in particular, I have a group of three middle-age women who come in every week after church to grab some lunch. They tend to lecture and chastise me for working on a Sunday, but I tend to let it go since they’re otherwise fairly pleasant. However, one particular morning, they caught me in a somewhat bad mood…)

    Woman #1: “Hello, . I’d have my usual, but no onions this time.”

    Woman #2 and #3: *practically in unison* “Same here.”

    (I go to prepare their orders, which doesn’t take long since they’re all rather easy to make. As expected, no one else has come in, so I decide to close up once they’re done. After I bring them their food, one of them looks at me with a concerned face.)

    Woman #2: “You okay, sweetie? You look a little stressed out.”

    Me: “Oh… it’s nothing serious. I just got caught in the middle of some drama between some friends, so I didn’t get much sleep.”

    Woman #1: *scoffs* “Well maybe this is because you insist on working on Sundays. Clearly, the lord is punishing you!”

    (The other two chime in, agreeing with the rather harsh comment, and I stare at them in disbelief. At that point, I finally snap, but I managed to keep my cool and take a different approach.)

    Me: “Okay… you know what? You’re right. I really shouldn’t be working on Sundays.”

    (I pause just long enough to watch them pat each other on the back for finally “convincing” me of how “wrong” I’ve been, then continue.)

    Me: “So, from now on, I won’t open this place on Sundays anymore.”

    Woman #3: *suddenly turning pale after it seemingly takes a moment for my words to register* “…Wait …what?”

    Woman #2: *also catching on* “But… where will we go to eat then? You’re the only place around here that’s affordable!”

    Woman #1: “Yeah! You can’t do this! We’ve been loyal customers ever since you opened this place up!”

    Me: *shrugging and feigning conflicted feelings* “Well, I really am sorry. But you’ve been saying it yourselves. I shouldn’t work on Sundays, so that means I can’t open up on Sundays anymore.”

    Woman #1: “W- well… I’m sure the lord will make an exception… just this once! After all, you’re serving his followers, so… yeah! I’m sure He’ll forgive you!”

    (The other two hastily nodded in agreement, and I had an admittedly cocky grin plastered on my face for the rest of the day. Naturally, they haven’t given me any grief about working on Sundays ever since.)

    Feel Sorry For The Husband

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Time

    (I am working in a retail store, and my shift starts at 12:30. I get in at 12:15, and see many customers so I put my uniform on, clock in early, and get to work. A woman approaches me.)

    Woman: *aggressively* “I hope you enjoyed your LUNCH.”

    Me: “…I’m sorry?”

    Woman: “Don’t be sorry. Just don’t do it again. I shouldn’t have to wait.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

    Woman: “Don’t lie to me. I was here an hour ago and you had a back in five minutes sign, to get your lunch, even though there were people who wanted to get into the store. Don’t EVER do that to your customers again.”

    Me: “Ma’am, my shift doesn’t even start for another ten or fifteen minutes. Was there something you wanted help with?”

    Woman: “If you keep lying like this, you’ll never find a husband.” *shows me her wedding ring with a smug look, then turns and walks out*

    The Other Shoe Finally Dropped

    | England, UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    Customer: “I wonder if there’s anything you can do for me. I bought these shoes in the January sale and look!”

    (She takes her shoes off her feet and, well, the sole on the bottom has totally split in half. It’s only May now; we wouldn’t expect that to happen in so short a time.)

    Colleague: “Ah, that’s pretty terrible. I don’t suppose you have your receipt?”

    Customer: “No, I didn’t think I would need to keep it. But I bought them in January.”

    Colleague: *looking at the shoe* “Give me a moment; I need to find out what shoe this actually is so that I can process it through the till correctly. [My Name], could you come here a second? I don’t suppose you recognise this shoe?”

    Me: “Sorry, it’s not one I’ve seen.” *pointing to a similar shoe* “Kinda looks like that one though.”

    Colleague: “Yeah, if it was in the sale it’s probably an older version.” *to customer* “Please excuse me. I need to go out back and look through the old catalogues to find it.”

    Customer: “Well, if you can hurry it up? I have to be back teaching at the school in 15 minutes.”

    (My colleague goes out back to see if she can find out what on earth this shoe even is, as not even our manager recognises it. The customer is getting impatient, and things go downhill very quickly.)

    Colleague: “I’m very sorry; I know it’s awful that this has happened to your shoes, but I’ve got back through the catalogue for the last seven years and I can’t find it at all. What store did you get it from?”

    Customer: “I got it from [Store] in the sale. Honestly, how can you not find this out? Your system should know what it is! I just want money off a new pair!”

    (One of my other colleagues rings up the store she named and tries to find it there. They have no idea either.)

    Customer: “This is terrible service. Just give me money off a new pair!

    Colleague: “I’m doing the best I can for you. I can’t just give you money off a new pair without processing the old pair through the till, and there’s no way I can do that without knowing what this shoe is!”

    (I have to go out back to help another customer out, as I return it appears she’s got customer service’s number off of us and is yelling at them down the phone. Really, really yelling.)


    (I feel so sorry for the poor representative on the phone, but it gets passed back and forth between my colleague and the customer, at this point looking constantly at her watch and huffing and puffing. In the end, customer service tell my colleague just to give her the money off her shoes and a reference number for the receipt so that we won’t get in trouble. I didn’t quite catch all of it, but I think the customer needed to take the receipt and do something with it later.)

    Customer: “FINALLY.”

    Colleague: “We’ve managed to take the money off for you. I’m sorry we couldn’t do more.”

    Customer: *pulls new pair on and legs it out of the store yelling* “THIS IS AWFUL SERVICE. THIS IS WHY I NEVER BUY YOUR SHOES FULL PRICE!”

    Colleague: “She forgot the receipt…”

    (I came back from my lunch break later to find my workmates looking at the old shoes and looking annoyed and confused. Turns out, they’d managed to find out what the shoes were – they were 17 years old! We figured she’d got them at a charity shop and pulled a fast one on us. She never did come back for her receipts.)

    Not Your Cup Of Tea

    | England, UK | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (I work in a small tea merchant that sells about 200 different varieties of tea. A customer and his girlfriend come in. The girlfriend walks over to my coworker.)

    Customer: *approaches me and leans in uncomfortably close* “Do you have any teas for men?”

    Me: “Could you be a bit more specific, sir?”

    Customer: “You know? For MEN!” *begins miming masturbating*

    Me: “Err…”

    Customer: *continues miming* “You know, a tea to make your d*** BIG and STRONG!”

    Me: *stunned silence*

    Customer: “No? Okay.”

    (The customer and his girlfriend left the shop. My coworker and I looked at each other and just began laughing hysterically.)