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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    The Time Travel Times

    | Rotherham, England, UK | Crazy Requests

    (We sell daily and weekly newspapers. The weekly papers come out on a Thursday. It is a Wednesday morning, and I am putting the daily papers out.)

    Customer: “Has tomorrow’s [weekly paper] come in today?”

    Me: “Tomorrow’s [weekly paper]?”

    Customer: “Yes, I want tomorrow’s [weekly paper]. Have they come in today?”

    Me: “No, tomorrow’s [weekly paper] comes in tomorrow.”

    Customer: “Are you sure? I was hoping to get tomorrow’s paper today. Do you need to check?”

    Me: “Yeah, I’m pretty sure tomorrow’s [weekly paper] comes in tomorrow, seeing as they probably haven’t even started printing them yet.”

    Customer: “Well, there’s no need to be like that.”

    Needs To Redress That Poster

    | Denmark | Crazy Requests

    (I run a vintage shop, where I sell all kinds of retro and vintage items. I have just learned how to fix broken zippers on jackets, holes in shirts and other things you can do with a sewing machine. I have a poster that says I offer this service, for about $3 per item. A customer approaches my counter.)

    Customer: “Hello, I saw your poster. I was wondering if I could get you to make a wedding dress for my daughter? She’s about the same size as you. It needs to be white, with puffed shoulders, and roses with glitter. Not real roses, but fabric ones. It needs to be a full-length skirt.”

    Me: “Sounds like a pretty dress, but my sewing skills are really nowhere near high enough to make a wedding dress. I only fix zippers and holes in shirts, and such.”

    Customer: “No, you don’t understand! It’s a very simple dress! Anyone can make that kind of dress, so why can’t you? Listen, I know your poster says £3 per item, but I’m willing to make it $15. Then you also have enough to buy the fabric!”

    Me: “Listen, I think you misunderstood what I said. I can’t make that dress; it’s not possible for me. And even if I could, which I really can’t, $15 would never be enough to buy fabric for a full-length skirt and puffed shoulders. I’m really sorry, but you need to find someone else to make the dress.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! Your poster says you sew stuff! And now you say you can’t make a simple wedding dress? That’s false advertisement! Where’s your manager? I need to speak to your manager!”

    Me: “I am the manager; I’m really sorry, but—”

    Customer: “Then get me the owner!”

    Me: “I’m also the owner of this store, but if you would just—”

    Customer: “What the h***! Then where do I file a complaint, so I can get your a** fired for false advertisement?”

    (I usually don’t get angry, but the woman is now getting on my nerves.)

    Me: “Lady! You need to listen! I can not make that wedding dress, because my sewing skills are not that great!”

    Customer: “But the—”

    Me: “—and if you would just pay a little more attention to what you read, the poster clearly states I only do small sewing tasks and fix-ups! It doesn’t say I do full-length wedding dresses! So please, if you would just be so kind to find someone else to make the dress, that would be lovely! Have a nice day, madam!”

    (The customer stands there for a few seconds, trying to find an argument she can use against me. When she fails, she leaves the store. Another customer, who’s been there the whole time, suddenly bursts out in laughter.)

    Other Customer: “Hahaha! If my future wife came down the aisle in a dress with puffy shoulders and roses with glitter, I think I would leave her at the altar! And to get that woman as a mother-in-law? H*** no!”

    Knot Possible

    | Oshawa, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

    (I work in the lumber department of my store. I spot an older customer, studying our 2×4 lumber. She looks very sour.)

    Me: “Hi there, ma’am. Can I help you with anything?”

    Customer: “Yes, I need a 2×4, but I don’t want one with knots.”

    Me: “Well, that’s going to be tricky with these. Just about every one that I’ve ever seen has a least a few knots here and there.”

    Customer: “No, I need one with no knots. I’m working on a project and if there are knots, the wood will break.”

    Me: “Well, I have some pieces of pine select; no knots in them at all!”

    Customer: “Oh, I looked at those. They’re too expensive; I’m on a pension you know. What about that one up there? It looks clean.”

    (The customer points to a fresh lift of lumber, and it indeed looks clean, but the home is full.)

    Me: “Well, ma’am, I’m willing to bet that they’ll have just as many knots as this lift.”

    Customer: “Show me!”

    (I begin the process of getting a driver, and pulling down the lift. Due to the fact that I have to close down the main lumber aisle to due so, two assistant managers are watching me. As they watch, I open the lift and start sorting through the pieces, showing the older lady that they all have knots in them.)

    Customer: “This is ridiculous!”

    (After she leaves, one of the managers walks over to me.)

    Manager: “What was wrong with the wood?”

    Me: “She didn’t want any knots in her 2×4.”

    Manager: “Yeah, find a tree without branches and we’ll give her a 2×4 without knots.”

    Perhaps He Can’t Count That High

    , | MT, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

    (A family approach my counter.)

    Customer: “Uh. Can I get a number six, with mac and cheese? And a medium drink.”

    (His family orders their food, and I make the sandwich—his number six— and plate the rest of the food. Our number six doesn’t come with a biscuit, but his father and mother’s meals do.)

    Customer: “Hey. HEY!”

    Me: “Yes, sir?”

    Customer: “We’re short one biscuit.”

    (Even though I know he isn’t, I give him one. Five minutes later, I see him stand up, and start screaming.)

    Customer: “IT’S NOT JUST THIS RESTAURANT; IT’S ALL FAST FOOD!”

    (He barges up, and slams his sandwich down.)

    Customer: “I ORDERED A NUMBER 12! THIS HAS A BUN! I WANTED THE ONE WITH NO BUN!

    Me: “Oh, gosh, I’m sorry! I thought you said number six! That one comes with a bun! Sorry, again!”

    Customer: “I DID ORDER A NUMBER SIX, BUT I WANTED A NUMBER 12! WASN’T IT OBVIOUS!?”

    He Has Beef With You

    | KS, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Geography

    (An elderly man walks up to the toppings bar.)

    Customer: “Excuse me. Miss?”

    Me: “What can I help you with, sir?”

    Customer: “Have you got anything with meat in it?”

    (This is a frozen yogurt bar. We have various kinds of fruity and sweet yogurts and toppings. No one would usually expect to find meat anywhere.)

    Me: “Um, no, sir. Sorry about that.”

    Customer: “F****** vegans and vegetarians are taking over the whole f****** world! You haven’t got anything with some beef in it?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. That’s actually a kind of unusual request because this is basically dessert stuff.”

    Customer: “I’m an American! I ain’t a vegetarian! I eat meat in my dessert because this is America, d*** it!”

    (The customer throws his yogurt on the floor, making a huge mess. The next customer jumps out of the way, then resumes getting toppings while I clean.)

    Customer #2: “Just when you think you’ve seen it all!”

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