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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    A Sign That Tells The Future Is A Sign

    , | Chapel Hill, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

    (A customer comes in and orders two large pizzas and tries to pay with a $100 bill.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t provide more than $20 in change.”

    Customer: “What? Why not?”

    Me: “It’s our policy.”

    Customer: “Then you should have a sign up telling people that!”

    Me: “Well, sir, if you look to your right you’ll see just such a sign.”

    Customer: “You should have a sign that tells people before they get here!”

    (Ursa) Major Pain In The A**

    | Moscow, Russia | Crazy Requests, Math & Science

    (A customer calls and asks that he and his friend need to be picked up. He sounds intoxicated.)

    Me: “Where should the driver pick you up?”

    Caller: “Do you know Ursa Major?”

    Me: “Ursa Major? Is it a name of a local business? A restaurant or a hotel?”

    Caller: “What is this world coming to? It is a constellation! In the sky! We are standing right under it!”

    I Now Pronounce You Employed

    | Michigan, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    Me: “Hello sir, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Hi, are you hiring?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry. This is a family-run business. Is there something you wanted to eat?”

    Customer: “No. I wanted a job.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but we cannot hire you. If you don’t want anything to eat, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. We are very busy today.”

    (The customer leaves, frustrated. Not 10 minutes later, he returns.)

    Me: “Hello again, do you want something to eat now?”

    (The customer gets down on one knee.)

    Customer: “Will you marry me?”

    Me: “Sir, please stand up.”

    (Whole shop applauds.)

    Customer: “Please? It’s my only hope of getting a job!”

    When The Shoe Is On The Other Foot

    | Portland, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Top

    (I’m shoe shopping, and I’ve taken off my own shoes to try on some other pairs. Another customer is browsing in the same aisle; she looks at my shoes and starts to try them on.)

    Me: “Excuse me? Those are mine.”

    Customer: “No, they’re not. I saw them first.”

    Me: “No, I mean, I bought them a while ago. See, they don’t have price tags on them.”

    (Ignoring me, she takes off my shoes, and calls over an employee.)

    Customer: “Do you have these in size seven?”

    Employee: “I’ve never seen these before. Do you have the box they were in?”

    Me: “That’s because they’re mine. They’re not from here.”

    Customer: *rolls eyes* “She keeps saying that, but I saw them first.”

    Employee: “Uh, ma’am, she’s right. These are from [another shoe store].”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, can I buy them here?”

    Employee: *gives me back my shoes* “Sorry, no.”

    Customer: “Well, if that’s how you treat your customers here, I’m leaving!”

    (As she walks out, she stops to check out my bag on the floor.)

    Me: “That’s mine, too.”

    Some Calls Really Push The Envelope

    | Australia | Crazy Requests, Funny Names, Technology

    Me: “Hi, Welcome to the post office. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I have a problem, I deleted all the messages on my house phone, how do I get them back?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Well I only wanted to delete one message on my phone, but they all got erased, can you help me?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t quite understand the problem. You know you have called the postal service, yes?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Well unfortunately I can’t assist you. You may need to ring the manufacturer of the phone and see how to get your messages back.”

    Customer: “But it’s voice-mail! Mail! Why can’t you help me?!”


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