Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Filled With Creamy Justice
    (1,996 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    I Now Pronounce You Employed

    | Michigan, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    Me: “Hello sir, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Hi, are you hiring?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry. This is a family-run business. Is there something you wanted to eat?”

    Customer: “No. I wanted a job.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but we cannot hire you. If you don’t want anything to eat, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. We are very busy today.”

    (The customer leaves, frustrated. Not 10 minutes later, he returns.)

    Me: “Hello again, do you want something to eat now?”

    (The customer gets down on one knee.)

    Customer: “Will you marry me?”

    Me: “Sir, please stand up.”

    (Whole shop applauds.)

    Customer: “Please? It’s my only hope of getting a job!”

    When The Shoe Is On The Other Foot

    | Portland, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Top

    (I’m shoe shopping, and I’ve taken off my own shoes to try on some other pairs. Another customer is browsing in the same aisle; she looks at my shoes and starts to try them on.)

    Me: “Excuse me? Those are mine.”

    Customer: “No, they’re not. I saw them first.”

    Me: “No, I mean, I bought them a while ago. See, they don’t have price tags on them.”

    (Ignoring me, she takes off my shoes, and calls over an employee.)

    Customer: “Do you have these in size seven?”

    Employee: “I’ve never seen these before. Do you have the box they were in?”

    Me: “That’s because they’re mine. They’re not from here.”

    Customer: *rolls eyes* “She keeps saying that, but I saw them first.”

    Employee: “Uh, ma’am, she’s right. These are from [another shoe store].”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, can I buy them here?”

    Employee: *gives me back my shoes* “Sorry, no.”

    Customer: “Well, if that’s how you treat your customers here, I’m leaving!”

    (As she walks out, she stops to check out my bag on the floor.)

    Me: “That’s mine, too.”

    Some Calls Really Push The Envelope

    | Australia | Crazy Requests, Funny Names, Technology

    Me: “Hi, Welcome to the post office. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I have a problem, I deleted all the messages on my house phone, how do I get them back?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Well I only wanted to delete one message on my phone, but they all got erased, can you help me?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t quite understand the problem. You know you have called the postal service, yes?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Well unfortunately I can’t assist you. You may need to ring the manufacturer of the phone and see how to get your messages back.”

    Customer: “But it’s voice-mail! Mail! Why can’t you help me?!”

    I Can’t Hear Myself Think

    | Houston, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem

    (It’s late at night, right before closing, when the phone rings.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [Auto-Parts Store], can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes, I bought a car stereo from you all a few month ago, and I didn’t really like it so I gave it to my son.”

    Me: “OK.”

    Caller: “Well, he didn’t like it either, so he gave it to our neighbors across the street.”

    Me: “OK.”

    Caller: “Well, they put it in their car and right now it’s sitting in their driveway with the doors open and they’re playing their music really loud!”

    Me: “Yes…. well what do you want me to do?”

    Caller: “I need you to come over here and tell them to turn it down!”

    Voodoo Or Do Not, There Is No Jedi

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

    (I’m the resort coordinator and often deal with claims from guests who have had an incident.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [resort]. How may I help you today?”

    Guest: *already irate* “You can help me by filing a claim for me! I slipped and fell on your property during my vacation and I deserve compensation.”

    Me: “I’m so very sorry that happened to you. Can you please provide me with your name and the dates of your stay so I can pull the incident report?”

    (She gives me the information.)

    Me: “It seems that your stay with us occurred in 2007, almost three years ago. The report says you didn’t want to file a claim at the time. May I ask why you’re just now contacting us?”

    Guest: “You should know! You’re the one that hired that voodoo man!”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Guest: “The security guard! The security guard who helped me up! He wiped my memory and his spell just wore off!”

    Me: “He wiped your memory?”

    Guest: “That’s what I just said, you idiot! Wiped it clean so I wouldn’t sue you people!”

    Me: “He wiped your memory? Like a Jedi?”

    Guest: “Yes! A Jedi! Now you understand why I have to deal with this now! That voodoo man is evil!”


    Page 115/120First...113114115116117...Last