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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Saved From Traffic, Not Trafficking

    | OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Top

    (I work in the parking lot, helping customers load their vehicles and push carts back to where they belong. I am the only one out on the lot at the moment. A boy runs out into the lot next to me, into the middle of the road.)

    Boy: “Die bug!”

    (I see something moving out of the corner of my eye. When I look, there’s a car driving very fast through the lot. It is heading straight for the boy.)

    Me: “Oh, crap!”

    (I run into the road, pick up the child, and dive out of the way. I use my body as a cushion for him. My back hits a rack of plants, knocking them over, and sending pain through my back. The boy’s mother comes rushing over.)

    Boy’s Mother: “Oh, my God! WHAT THE H*** ARE YOU DOING WITH MY CHILD!?”

    Me: “First of all, I’m okay, and so is he. Second of all, he just about got ran over.”

    (I painfully stand up, and let the child go to his mother, who clings to her.)

    Boy’s Mother: “I want to see your manager now!”

    Me: “Certainly, ma’am.”

    (I go and find my manager, and explain to her what happened. The manager understands and goes to the service desk where the boy and his mother now wait. I follow behind and listen in.)

    Manager: “So, I hear you have a problem with one of my employees?”

    Boy’s Mother: “You’re d*** right I do! He tried to steal my baby!”

    Manager: “I assure you that’s not what happened. From what my employee has told me, he saw the child run into the street, chasing a bug. He noticed a car driving at unsafe speeds through the parking lot at the child.”

    Boy’s Mother: “That’s what he wants you to think!! I saw no car!”

    Manager: “What happened when you noticed my employee with your child?”

    Boy’s Mother: “He knocked over the plant racks out front with his back!”

    Manager: “And he did this while holding your child?”

    Boy’s Mother: “YES! You get it!”

    Manager: “Not quite. Follow me with this please. Why would my employee do that when he has the most chance of getting caught? It would draw a lot of attention to himself.”

    Boy’s Mother: “He… he was… I don’t know.”

    Manager: “The only reason I could think of him doing that is if he had to get out of the way of something fast. Or, if your child was in danger of being hit by a car going 40 miles per hour through the parking lot.”

    Boy’s Mother: “Well maybe you should control the cars speeding through your lot more! Hmph!”

    (She takes her son and walks out in a huff. Later on, at the end of my shift, the mother and her son approach me on the way out.)

    Boy’s Mother: “There you are! I’ve been looking for you!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I promise you; I wasn’t trying to kidnap your child!”

    Boy’s Mother: “I know that. But my son has something to say to you.”

    Boy: “Thank you for saving my life.”

    (He hands me a thank you card.)

    Me: “No problem, little man. Promise me something?”

    Boy: “Okay?”

    Me: “Don’t go playing in the street. When you go somewhere, stay next to your mom. That’s the safest place you can be. Can you do that?”

    Boy: “I promise!”

    Boy’s Mother: “Thank you again. I can’t thank you enough. I also came back to talk to your manager. Are you on lunch?”

    Me: “I’m off work now, actually.”

    Boy’s Mother: “Good, then I can make it a surprise!”

    (The mother walks into the store. I wonder what she means, but I figure I’ll find out the next day, and go home. The next day, I open up the store, and find out from my manager that someone gave me a glowing review of my work ethics!)

    Intelligence Is At An All Time Depression

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | Crazy Requests, History

    (We have a lot of customers who come in looking for something for someone else as a gift; however they often have no clue what they are looking for. Just ‘that thing their friend collects’.)

    Customer: “What is the name of that red glass?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but can you be any more descriptive?”

    Customer: “You know, that red glassware that people collect.”

    Me: “Um, ruby flash?”

    Customer: “No, no, no. It’s old, and collectible!”

    Me: “Is the glass itself dyed red, or is it painted red? Or is it a different base color with red designs?”

    Customer: “It’s red. Or pink.”

    Me: “Cape Code? Currier and Ives? Vaseline? Murano? I…I really need more information before I can help you.”

    Customer: “It’s the name of all the glass! I don’t collect it! My friend does! I want to get her some!”

    Me: *trying one more time* “Depression?”

    Customer: “DEPRESSION! THANK YOU!”

    (The customer walks away without even asking me where it is in the store.)

    Coworker: “Um… depression glass means any cheap translucent glass that was made during the Great Depression. It comes in almost any color you can think of, not just red and pink.”

    Me: “You want to go explain that to her?”

    Coworker: “Nope.”

    Deliver Us From Bad Customers

    | CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I am working the lunch shift at a sandwich shop that delivers. When I arrive, snow is starting to fall. After about an hour, the delivery drivers start to report that the roads are getting worse. The manager decides to stop delivery, but, as customers are still coming into the shop, he opts to keep the restaurant open. I answer a call.)

    Caller: “Are you guys still open?”

    Me: “Yes, for the time being.”

    Caller: “Thank goodness! Everybody is closing because of the snowstorm!”

    Me: “Yes, it’s starting to get pretty bad out there. In fact, we’re thinking about closing early ourselves.”

    Caller: “Well, I’m glad that you’re not closed yet! I’d like to place a delivery order.”

    Me: “Well, unfortunately, we’re not delivering right now. The storm has gotten so bad that we’re concerned for the safety of our drivers. However, as I said, we are still open. You can still place an order with me and come pick it up at the shop.”

    Caller: “Are you kidding me!? I’m not going out on these roads!”

    No Port For The Harbor

    | Port Charlotte, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

    Customer: “I dropped my phone in the water while I was on the boat this weekend, and I want to retrieve my pictures off of it. Can you do that?”

    Me: “Sure we can.”

    (I wait to see phone.)

    Me: “Where is it?”

    Customer: “At the bottom of the harbor; you can still get my pictures, right?”

    Can’t Handle The Weight Of Girl Power

    | ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I am a girl, and so is the customer.)

    Customer: “I need a guy to help me get some boxes of paper.”

    Me: “Oh, they’re all busy, but that’s okay; I can get it for you.”

    Customer: “No! Girls shouldn’t be lifting heavy things!”

    Me: “Why not? I lift heavy things all the time.”

    Customer: “You shouldn’t be!”

    Me: “Why not?”

    Customer: “Because you are a woman! Women can’t lift heavy things! You’ll hurt your back!”

    Me: “Not if I lift it properly. I carry boxes of paper all the time as part of my job. I can lift it no problem.”

    Customer: “But I need five of them!”

    Me: “That’s okay; I’ll put them on a dolly.”

    Customer: “No! Women shouldn’t be lifting things as heavy as that!”

    Me: “Okay, seriously. Women can lift whatever they want. Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean that I can’t lift paper. If I wasn’t a strong woman, maybe I wouldn’t be strong enough to do it, and then I would hurt myself. But I am strong enough to lift that paper, so I won’t hurt myself.”


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