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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Daylight Save Me From This Stupidity

    | NC, USA | Crazy Requests

    (We have a certain time by which all paper carriers should be finished. On weekdays, it’s 6:30 am.)

    Customer: “I need to make a complaint about my carrier! She’s late every morning now!”

    Me: “I do apologize. Is she delivering after 6:30 in the morning?”

    Customer: “Well, no. But ever since daylight savings, it’s light outside when I get may paper!”

    Me: “But she isn’t delivering after 6:30?”

    Customer: “No, but it’s light outside!”

    Me: “But the paper isn’t being delivered later in the morning?”

    Customer: “It’s at the same time it always is; it’s just too d*** bright!”

    Me: “…well, I’m very sorry to hear that, sir.”

    Window Pains

    | MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

    (A tenant in an office building calls the property management office. It’s autumn, and a bit chilly outside. Not every office in this building has a window, but hers does. Tenants pay more for the larger suites with windows.)

    Tenant: “Ever since the heat came on last week, my office has been stifling! Can’t the maintenance do anything?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, the office suites do not have individual heat controls. However, I can put in a ticket for maintenance to come and adjust your overhead vent so you don’t have as much warm air coming in.”

    Tenant: “Well how long will that be? I’m dying in here!”

    Me: “Maintenance is usually able to complete their tickets in a day or two.”

    Tenant: “What? He can’t come today? This is completely ridiculous! How do you expect me to work, or see clients? I’m sweating!”

    Me: “Well, in the meantime, you could certainly crack a window. It’s nice and cool outside.”

    Tenant: “THAT’S NOT WHAT I PAY FOR!”

    His Size Is XX-Creepy

    | Papillion, NE, USA | Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque

    (A male customer approaches me, holding a package of men’s underwear.)

    Customer: “Ma’am, can I ask you to do something that is probably outside your job description?”

    Me: “What is it?”

    (He puts the package down and sticks his hands in the back of his pants.)

    Customer: “Okay, I need a new pair of underwear. I don’t know what size I wear, and I can’t read the tag.”

    Me: “You can go in one of the men’s fitting rooms and check.”

    Customer: “D*** it!”

    Direction Deflection

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Top

    (I work at a small kiosk in a mall. Due to the booth-like appearance and the lack of any walls, many shoppers like to ask me for directions to other businesses in the mall.)

    Shopper: “Hey, where’s the post office?”

    Me: “Right behind you; there is a camera store—”

    Shopper: “No! I want the post office, not photos!”

    Me: “Like I said, there’s a camera store behind y—”

    Shopper: “Shut up about the d*** cameras! I need the nearest post office!”

    Me: “And if you would just take an extra few seconds to listen to me, I would’ve been able to inform you that there is a postal service desk inside of the camera store.”

    Shopper: “Hey, it’s not my fault you weren’t being clear! Also, that’s no way to talk to a paying customer!”

    Me: “With all due respect, ma’am; you haven’t bought anything from me. You’re not a paying customer. Secondly, I am running a business here, not an information booth. I personally think you are a greater target for criticism; you’re lucky I went lightly. Now, unless you plan on buying something; please let me do my real job.”

    Customer: “A**-hole!”

    The Problem Is The Problem

    | NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

    Customer: “Hello, I own a house I’m trying to sell. The potential buyer had an engineering inspection done, and the inspector told me to call you to come out.”

    Me: “Okay, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “I don’t know.”

    Me: “Well, we need something to go on here. Do you know what we’re looking for, or where we should look?”

    Customer: “All I know is the inspector told me to call [Utility Name], and have them come out.”

    Me: “Did they say what was wrong?”

    Customer: “No! Why are you making this so hard?”

    Me: “In order to send a crew out to potentially fix something, we have to have some idea what is broken. Also, whatever is broken might turn out to be customer owned, and not our equipment. In that case we will not be able to. Lastly, we need to send different crews for different issues. In order to send the correct people, we need to know what we’re dealing with.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand why this has to be difficult! I’m reporting an issue to you, and I need you to come out and fix it. Why can’t you just send somebody out! I don’t understand why this is so hard!”

    Me: “So, let me get this straight. You want me to send out a crew to repair something, but you don’t know what is broken, why you need us to come out, or if it is even an issue on our end, or our responsibility at all?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

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