• A Pain In The Nugget
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  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    In Line And Out Of Line, Part 9

    | Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

    (I’ve just started scanning a customer’s purchases, which are coming at me on a belt from the left, when an older woman approaches me from the right – the bagging area.)

    Woman: *holding newspaper and money* “I just want a paper.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’ve already begun scanning this customer’s purchases. I can’t ring you up until this transaction is complete.”

    Woman: *twitches her offerings at me* “But I just want the newspaper! Can’t you scan it quick?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. I’ve already begun this person’s transaction and cannot start a new one now. If you step behind her in line, I can ring up your purchase next.”

    Woman: *grumbling and stepping into line* “Well, SOME stores let you just do it quick…”

    (She keeps mumbling to herself as I scan the first woman’s items, and addresses me a few seconds later:)

    Woman: “It’s true, some stores WILL just do it quick…”

    Me: “Ma’am, as I’ve already explained, I cannot void an ongoing transaction. This customer was here before you, and I had already started when you walked up.”

    Woman: *points rudely at customer I’m still ringing up* “So what you’re telling me is that if I had gotten here before her, you would have rang me up first?”

    Me: *still cool as a cucumber* “Yes, ma’am. That’s generally how lines work.”

    (She was dead silent as I rang up her paper, and left without her receipt. I’m glad I could provide her with such an important teaching moment, as she seems to have missed when it was given in kindergarten!)

    In Line And Out Of Line, Part 8
    In Line And Out Of Line, Part 7
    In Line And Out Of Line, Part 6

    Tip Of The Stupidity Iceberg

    | CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (My sister and I are waiting to order coffee, and there is a high school cheerleader in front of us talking to the barista.)

    Cheerleader: “So, um, like, you know the iced coffee? Can you make it… like… hot?”

    Barista: “…What?”

    Cheerleader: “You know, the iced coffee with caramel? Can you make it hot?”

    (By this point, I am looking at my sister in disbelief.)

    Barista: “Well, um, yeah, we can make you a regular hot coffee with a pump of caramel.”

    Cheerleader: “…oh…”

    (She discusses this for a little bit more before simply ordering the iced coffee. It takes everything in me not to laugh at the poor girl. She seemed sweet, but that’s not defying stereotypes!)

    Will Not Lie Down On This Job

    | CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

    Caller: “Do you do polygraphs for infidelity problems?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Caller: “Do you charge money for them?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    (I can already see where this is going, but I remain professional.)

    Caller: “Uhm, do you do the kind, where, uh…”

    Me: “Maybe it would help if you could explain the situation to me.”

    Caller: “Well… my brother’s wife wants him to take a polygraph for cheating on her and he knows he would fail. Do you do the ones where you just write up something and what do you charge?”

    Me: “No, sir! That would be…”

    Caller: “Illegal? They do ’em in Texas.”

    Me: “Well, we don’t do ‘that kind’ and no polygrapher with professional standards would. It would be unethical.”

    Caller: “But not illegal… right?”

    Picture Perfect Response

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

    (I am a claims adjuster in motor vehicle damage. I’m talking to a claimant who is trying to get me to pay for their damage without pictures to go with the estimate of the repairs.)

    Claimant: “I don’t understand why you haven’t paid me yet. I sent you an estimate!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, but I also requested that you get pictures of the damage. I offered to send someone out to take pictures and write up the damage but you told me you’d take care of that yourself. I can’t pay anything out on this claim until I have images of the damage.”

    Claimant: “Ohhhhh. So you’re gonna play that game.”

    Me: “…The one where we require that you provide documentation of damages before we write you a check?”

    Trying To Shoehorn A Sandal

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (A customer walks into the store and starts looking around and picking up shoes.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, this sandal is really cute, but I have one question. If I wear it outside is it going to get dirty?”

    Me: “The sole of the shoe will definitely get dirty, but typically, yes. Sandals can easily get dirt into them as you walk.”

    Customer: “Well, I want a sandal that doesn’t get dirt inside.”

    Me: “So you mean a shoe?”

    Customer: “NO. A sandal that won’t get dirt inside it. Why would I want dirty sandals?”

    Me: “I don’t think we have anything that fits that description.”

    Customer: “What kind of shoe store are you? Selling people sandals that get dirty?!”

    (The customer grabs a shoe of a display.)

    Customer: “See this is what I mean. This is perfect.”

    Me: “That is a shoe.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand why you are being so difficult.”

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