November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Feel Sorry For The Husband

| Seattle, WA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Time

(I am working in a retail store, and my shift starts at 12:30. I get in at 12:15, and see many customers so I put my uniform on, clock in early, and get to work. A woman approaches me.)

Woman: *aggressively* “I hope you enjoyed your LUNCH.”

Me: “…I’m sorry?”

Woman: “Don’t be sorry. Just don’t do it again. I shouldn’t have to wait.”

Me: “Ma’am, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Woman: “Don’t lie to me. I was here an hour ago and you had a back in five minutes sign, to get your lunch, even though there were people who wanted to get into the store. Don’t EVER do that to your customers again.”

Me: “Ma’am, my shift doesn’t even start for another ten or fifteen minutes. Was there something you wanted help with?”

Woman: “If you keep lying like this, you’ll never find a husband.” *shows me her wedding ring with a smug look, then turns and walks out*

The Other Shoe Finally Dropped

| England, UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

Customer: “I wonder if there’s anything you can do for me. I bought these shoes in the January sale and look!”

(She takes her shoes off her feet and, well, the sole on the bottom has totally split in half. It’s only May now; we wouldn’t expect that to happen in so short a time.)

Colleague: “Ah, that’s pretty terrible. I don’t suppose you have your receipt?”

Customer: “No, I didn’t think I would need to keep it. But I bought them in January.”

Colleague: *looking at the shoe* “Give me a moment; I need to find out what shoe this actually is so that I can process it through the till correctly. [My Name], could you come here a second? I don’t suppose you recognise this shoe?”

Me: “Sorry, it’s not one I’ve seen.” *pointing to a similar shoe* “Kinda looks like that one though.”

Colleague: “Yeah, if it was in the sale it’s probably an older version.” *to customer* “Please excuse me. I need to go out back and look through the old catalogues to find it.”

Customer: “Well, if you can hurry it up? I have to be back teaching at the school in 15 minutes.”

(My colleague goes out back to see if she can find out what on earth this shoe even is, as not even our manager recognises it. The customer is getting impatient, and things go downhill very quickly.)

Colleague: “I’m very sorry; I know it’s awful that this has happened to your shoes, but I’ve got back through the catalogue for the last seven years and I can’t find it at all. What store did you get it from?”

Customer: “I got it from [Store] in the sale. Honestly, how can you not find this out? Your system should know what it is! I just want money off a new pair!”

(One of my other colleagues rings up the store she named and tries to find it there. They have no idea either.)

Customer: “This is terrible service. Just give me money off a new pair!

Colleague: “I’m doing the best I can for you. I can’t just give you money off a new pair without processing the old pair through the till, and there’s no way I can do that without knowing what this shoe is!”

(I have to go out back to help another customer out, as I return it appears she’s got customer service’s number off of us and is yelling at them down the phone. Really, really yelling.)


(I feel so sorry for the poor representative on the phone, but it gets passed back and forth between my colleague and the customer, at this point looking constantly at her watch and huffing and puffing. In the end, customer service tell my colleague just to give her the money off her shoes and a reference number for the receipt so that we won’t get in trouble. I didn’t quite catch all of it, but I think the customer needed to take the receipt and do something with it later.)

Customer: “FINALLY.”

Colleague: “We’ve managed to take the money off for you. I’m sorry we couldn’t do more.”

Customer: *pulls new pair on and legs it out of the store yelling* “THIS IS AWFUL SERVICE. THIS IS WHY I NEVER BUY YOUR SHOES FULL PRICE!”

Colleague: “She forgot the receipt…”

(I came back from my lunch break later to find my workmates looking at the old shoes and looking annoyed and confused. Turns out, they’d managed to find out what the shoes were – they were 17 years old! We figured she’d got them at a charity shop and pulled a fast one on us. She never did come back for her receipts.)

Not Your Cup Of Tea

| England, UK | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

(I work in a small tea merchant that sells about 200 different varieties of tea. A customer and his girlfriend come in. The girlfriend walks over to my coworker.)

Customer: *approaches me and leans in uncomfortably close* “Do you have any teas for men?”

Me: “Could you be a bit more specific, sir?”

Customer: “You know? For MEN!” *begins miming masturbating*

Me: “Err…”

Customer: *continues miming* “You know, a tea to make your d*** BIG and STRONG!”

Me: *stunned silence*

Customer: “No? Okay.”

(The customer and his girlfriend left the shop. My coworker and I looked at each other and just began laughing hysterically.)

Thinks Very Highly Of Your Cakes

| USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I work as a cake decorator at a well known and respectable bakery. We take orders over the phone, as well as in person. One day, I received an unusual phone call. After writing down the basics of her order…)

Woman: “Can you make it a pot cake?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Woman: “Can you put the pot in it?”

Me: “You mean you want marijuana baked into your cake?”

Woman: “Yes! A lot of it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t do that.”

Woman: “Well, can you at least draw a pot leaf on the top of the cake?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I am not allowed to do that, either. I can decorate it with a different picture, or write something on it if you want.”

Woman: “Okay, then write on it.”

Me: “What do you want it to say?”

Woman: “Happy Birthday, Mom.”

Respect Goes Both Ways

| Austin, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

Patient: “I have an appointment with Dr. [Name].”

Me: “All right…”

(The patient has missed over half her appointment, so I know the doctor won’t see her, but I go ask anyway.)

Me: “Unfortunately, Dr. [Name] won’t be able to see you since you were over twenty minutes late for a forty minute appointment. We’ll have to reschedule.”

Patient: “I don’t want to see Dr. [Name], then. I want to see a different doctor that will respect his patient’s time.”

Me: “…”