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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    One Of The Bugbears Of The Service Industry

    | Joplin, MO, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Movies & TV, Pets & Animals

    (I am working at a chain movie store. A young couple come in with two large cardboard boxes full of DVDs to sell back to us. I start the buy-back. I check about 10 DVDs for disk quality with no problem but when I open the next one, cockroaches literally explode out of it and all over me. Naturally, I scream, hurl the DVD away, and proceed to shake and twitch for five minutes. Once I get myself together I put the DVDs back in the box and call the customers back up.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. I cannot complete your buy-back at this time. I found some cockroaches in one of the cases and don’t feel comfortable working with them. If you’d like to check over them yourselves I’d be glad to look at them when you bring them back.”

    Young Woman: “You found what?”

    Me: “Cockroaches.”

    Young Woman: “Well, they’ve been sitting in a garage for months.”

    Me: “If you go through them at home and bring them back I’ll be glad to help you then. But not today.”

    Young Woman: “Okay. So, are you going to do the buy-back now?”

    Me: “…no.”

    A Lot Of Hot Air Over Very Little Gas

    | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Transportation

    (When customers pre-pay for gas with a credit card, but their vehicle won’t take as much as they’ve put on it, the system automatically refunds the remaining portion onto the card that was used. This conversation takes place near the end of a 10-hour shift.)

    Customer: *in a not-so-nice tone* “I sent a kid in here earlier to get gas and he only pumped $17, but I was charged for $25. Why was I over-charged?”

    Me: *looks at his receipt* “Oh, well, it looks like they pre-paid for gas and it was charged to a credit card. The remaining portion would have been automatically refunded to your card.”

    Customer: “I need a receipt showing that it refunded.”

    Me: “I am so sorry, sir, but I can only print receipts for the past 10 transactions, and it looks like the kid you sent in got gas well over two hours ago. There isn’t a way for me to pull it up.”

    Customer: “Well how the h*** am I supposed to know that it refunded? How do I know you didn’t steal my money?”

    Me: “As soon as the nozzle on the pump is hung back up, it refunds automatically. You could actually call your credit company right now, and it would show that the balance is there.”

    Customer: “No! I will not call them! I want you to show me proof right now that you didn’t steal my money!”

    Me: “As I just said, there is nothing I can do. It’s been several hours since this transaction took place, so I can’t look it up. I assure you, if you would just call…”

    Customer: “I need you to write down that I only pumped $17 worth of gas and sign it so I can dispute it when it charges me $25 on my bill!”

    Me: “Sir, I have no idea how much gas you pumped, so I will not sign anything saying you only pumped $17. Furthermore, you’ve been yelling at me for over three minutes during a very busy time and I’m the only person here to ring out the 12 people behind you. I’ve told you that all you have to do is call the number on the back of the card to verify that you were only charged for what you pumped, and yet you’re still unsatisfied. The only other thing I can offer is that you call our customer service center and file a complaint. The number, and our store number are posted right beside you, and my name is on your receipt from earlier.”

    Customer: *shoves a pen and his receipt in my face* “I’m not leaving until you write a statement about my gas and sign it!”

    Me: “If you don’t leave, I will call the police to escort you from the premise.”

    (Just then, one of our regulars, who is a police officer and in uniform, walks in. I sigh in relief, but the customer doesn’t notice.)

    Customer: “You WILL write down that I only pumped $17. I’m not going anywhere!”

    Me: “Hey, [Officer], could you do me a favor?”

    Officer: “That depends… What is it?”

    (The customer looks over at the officer, back at me, and scrambles out the door.)

    Me: “Never mind; he left on his own.”

    Snickering At The Service

    , | Sylva, NC, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I work at a sandwich shop during my first few years of college. One day during a slow period my two coworkers see this lady come inside on the security cameras. My coworkers immediately say ‘not it!’ so I go up to take care of this woman’s order. The lady is already irritated and being short with me, over something like she’s late or she’s had a bad day. The order is going along fine until we get to the part where she tells me what veggies she wants.)

    Customer: “And now I want the snicker cheese.”

    Me: *confused* “The what?”

    Customer: “The snicker cheese.”

    Me: *still confused* “…like the candy bar?”

    Customer: “Yes, the cheese that tastes like the Snicker’s candy bar.”

    (It turns out she wants the parmesan oregano. I can tell you from experience parmesan oregano tastes nothing like a Snicker’s candy bar. After finishing the woman’s order, I go back and my coworkers ask me what was up with her. I tell them what she said and they both just kind of give me this weird look.)

    Me: “You don’t believe me, do you?”

    Coworker: “No, I believe you. Something that stupid can’t be made up.”

    Odds Of Finding A Seat Are Not In Their Favor

    | MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Movies & TV

    (It is the day before Thanksgiving at the movie theater where I work and ‘The Hunger Games’ has just premiered. Obviously, we are completely swamped. All four open tills have had an unending line of customers for the past hour. Despite this, my coworkers and I are all in sync and nothing has gone wrong the whole night. Suddenly, a family I don’t recognize walks up to me.)

    Mother: “Excuse me. You need to do something about this right away.”

    Me: “What is the problem, ma’am?”

    Father: “You oversold this theater! There’re more people in there then there are seats! People are sitting in the aisles!”

    (Our computer system that alerts us when a theater is about to sell out has malfunctioned, so we stopped selling tickets to “The Hunger Games” when there were only five seats remaining, as opposed to the fifteen we would normally. My guess is that they can’t find seats together.)

    Me: “I’m very sorry that the theater is crowded. I’ve called my manager down to see what he wants us to do. In any case you will definitely get a full refund.”

    Father: “We don’t want a refund. We want to see the movie! WE can’t do that because YOU sold us tickets to a movie with no seats.”

    Me: “You see, there must be at least five open seats in the theater because we can’t sell more tickets than there are seats.”

    (I tilt my register forward so they can see it and try to sell the last five tickets, showing them that it physically won’t let me.)

    Mother: “Well you DID sell more!”

    (At this point my manager arrives. They yell at him, and he instructs me to refund the total of their tickets and concessions purchases.)

    Daughter: “Thanks for nothing. We’ll go to a theater that knows what they’re doing.”

    Me: *to my manager* “Says the people who came ten minutes late to the most popular movie of the year and expected to find three seats together.”

    (My manager later went into the theater to find nobody ‘sitting in the aisles,’ and a total of five unoccupied seats. Not together, of course.)

    On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 8

    | MD, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I work in a well-known department store chain as a cashier. By law, I’m required to offer our store credit card to each and every customer that comes through my line if they’re over the age of 18.)

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, your total is [total]. If you don’t have our [Store] card, I can try to save you $10 or $15 on this purchase.”

    Customer: *mumbles so low that I can’t hear her*

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Could you please repeat that?”

    Customer: “I SAID NO! GOD! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ENGLISH AT ALL? YOUR SERVICE IS HORRIBLE!”

    (At this point she starts screaming her head off, and I see my manager, who is really short and stocky, running down the aisle to see what all the yelling is about.)

    Customer: “I MEAN, WHY ARE YOU EVEN ASKING ME IF I WANT A CREDIT CARD? YOU SHOULD KNOW I DON’T HAVE ANY OF THEM!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I have never met you before. How would I know that you don’t have any credit cards?”

    Customer: “YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO CHECK YOUR THINGAMAJIG WHEN I GIVE YOU MY REWARDS CARD!”

    Me: “Ma’am… those are two completely separate things.”

    Customer: “NO, THEY’RE NOT! STOP F***ING LYING TO ME!”

    (My manager has just gotten to my booth when the customer slaps me, hard, across my face.)

    Manager: “[Customer]! Why did you just hit my cashier?!”

    Customer: “HE WAS SUPPOSED TO KNOW I DON’T HAVE ANY CREDIT CARDS!”

    Manager: “Get out of my store! This is the third time you’ve done this! Do not come back!”

    Customer: “THIS IS WHY I NEVER SHOP AT [Store]! THE SERVICE IS TERRIBLE!”

    Manager: *after the customer left* “Are you okay? Go on a break. I’ll cover for you.”

    Me: “So… no hazard pay?”

    Manager: “Ha. Good luck with that. I’ve been here 40 years and I don’t get hazard pay.”

    (She did the customer satisfaction survey on the receipt that we print out and gave me the lowest possible rating, a 0, because of “terrible service” and actually WON a $1,000 gift card to the store via the sweepstakes system. Corporate was notified and they cancelled the gift card right away and gave me a $100 gift card!)

    Related:
    On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 7
    On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 6
    On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 5

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