Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,182 thumbs up)
  • Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    You’ve Got The Wrong(est) Number – The Comic!

    | Not Always Right | Comics, Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque

    Stubs To Be You

    | CA, USA | Crazy Requests

    (I’m at a podium on a busy weekend afternoon tearing tickets. A customer comes back to the podium.)

    Customer: “I’d like my ticket back.”

    Me: “The ticket stub I gave you when you passed through is actually all you need.”

    Customer: “No, I need the other half back. I want to get a refund.”

    Me: “You actually don’t need the other half to do that. You can just go back up to box office with what you have and get a refund.”

    Customer: “I don’t see why it’s so hard for you to just give it back to me. I was here just a minute ago. Give it to me now!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m not going to be able to find your ticket. Dozens of other people have passed through behind you.”

    Customer: “Why won’t you just give me the other half of my ticket? It can’t be that hard. I want it back!”

    (I don’t know what to say at this point, so I open the drawer full of hundreds of torn tickets and look back up at her.)

    Customer: “Oh…”

    Snide Salad

    | Brooklyn, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I am a customer at a restaurant. I overhear an exchange while I am waiting for my pickup order.)

    Customer: “Waiter?”

    Waiter: “Yes ma’am, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Where is my side salad?”

    Waiter: “Uh, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I said, where is my side salad?”

    Waiter: “You ordered a salad, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Yes, I know.”

    Waiter: “Salads don’t come with side salads.”

    Customer: “But it said on the menu that orders came with side salads.”

    Waiter: “It said in the entree section that orders came with salads, not in the salad category.”

    Customer: “I WANT MY SIDE SALAD!”

    Waiter: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t give you a side salad for your salad.”

    Customer: “This is unacceptable. Every time I’ve come here, I have received a side salad.”

    Waiter: “Have you ever ordered the salad as a main course before?”

    Customer: “No, but—”

    Waiter: “Exactly. We only provide side salads for things that are in the entree section. We do not give side salads to people who order salads.”

    Customer: “BUT WHY NOT?!”

    Acting Irregular

    | CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I’m working at a popular coffee store, and it is my second week on the job. A regular comes in during the morning rush.)

    Me: “Hey, good to see you! What can I get for you?”

    (The customer gives me a very dirty look.)

    Me: “Um… can I get a drink started for you?”

    Customer: “You don’t remember my drink?”

    Me: “…what?”

    Customer: “You don’t remember my drink? I come in here everyday! You should remember my drink!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry that I forgot. Silly me! It’s just that I get an awful lot of customers in here, and I’ve been working since 4 am, so I’m just so forgetful. But if you can just remind me, I’ll have that drink right out for you.”

    (The customer turns bright red, orders his drink, pays, and leaves the register. The next day I’m working again, and he comes in right on schedule.)

    Me: “Ah, hello! The caramel latte with light foam, yes? I’ve written it up, and they’ll make it for you soon. That’ll be [price].”

    (The customer silently pays for his drink, and puts a $5 bill in the tip jar.)

    Some Customers Are Like Pulling Teeth

    | MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (My boss has informed me that his best friend has unexpectedly died, and that he will need to cancel his appointments for the next two days. I’m currently on the phone to a patient who is notorious for being difficult.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [me] calling on behalf of [dentist]. I’m calling to inform you that due to unfortunate circumstances, [dentist] will have to cancel your appointment for Friday. I do apologize for the inconvenience, but would you like to take the time to reschedule?”

    Patient: “Seriously? This is unacceptable. I’ve already cleared my schedule just so that I can be there. What is so d*** important that he can just cancel my appointment?”

    Me: “Well, sir, [dentist] will be taking time off to attend a funeral out of state. Again, I apologize for the inconvenience. I do have an opening two weeks from today. Would that work?”

    Patient: “No, no, I’ve already agreed to meet with my clients all that week. See, my time is actually worth something; I can’t just cancel on my client’s last minute like [dentist]. Honestly, how does he expect to stay in business if he cancels on his patients like this?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’ll be sure to tell [dentist] that the next time one of his life-long friends unexpectedly dies, that he should be more considerate of his patients.”

    Patient: “See that you do!”

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