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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Delivered In A Dog Day Afternoon

    | Burbank, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Time

    (A customer comes up to my register in the morning, a little bit after opening. The guy who does the ordering is standing next to me.)

    Customer: “I got a call that my dog food was here.”

    Me: “Sure thing. Did you know which food you ordered?”

    Customer: “It’s dog food.”

    Me: “Okay, can you describe the package?

    Customer: “It’s in a can.”

    Me: “Okay, about how long ago did you place the order?”

    Customer: “Two days ago. I was told it would be in seven days from now, but it came in yesterday. Why did it come in yesterday?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We really have no control when the orders come in. It’s up to the distributor.

    (At this poin,t my coworker has found his food and I ring him up.)

    Customer: “I really don’t understand why it would be here so soon when I was told seven days. It’s too soon for this to come in. Why would you say seven days? Oh, and can I get a discount for it being here so soon?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We can’t do that.”

    Customer: “Well, it shouldn’t have been here this soon!”

    Bags Of Laughs

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

    (It’s been a long night, with a higher than average number of annoying customers. A couple comes through the till.)

    Wife: “Oh, no. Don’t put the chips with the pop! It’ll get crushed.”

    Husband: “Geez, don’t put the chips with the bread.”

    Wife: “Oh, and keep the pickles away from the cans.”

    Husband: “Can you double bag everything?”

    (I finally sort through their numerous demands, they pay and leave. The next customer and last in line is buying just a few things, and has listened to the previous conversation.)

    Customer: “Oh… can you put the bacon in a separate bag from the chips and pop?”

    (I do.)

    Customer: “Oh, and can you separate the chips and pop?”

    (I do.)

    Customer: “Can you double bag everything? It’s all pretty heavy, you know.”

    (I stare, not sure if he’s serious.)

    Customer: “And, can you put the receipt in a separate bag?”

    (I smile at this point, and he laughs; it’s clear he was just joking. Everything goes in one bag. From this point on, ‘put the receipt in a separate bag’ becomes a euphemism for anyone making a series of ridiculous requests.)

    Heat Rises As IQ Falls

    | Long Island, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (We have a convection oven for heating up pastries and sandwiches. Some people mistake it for a microwave oven. One day, a customer who has already purchased her drink comes up to me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but this drink is not hot enough. Can you heat this up in your microwave?” *points to our oven*

    Me: “Sorry, but I can’t do that since that’s a convection oven. However, I can remake the drink to be hotter for you.”

    Customer: “No, I don’t want you to remake it. I just want you to heat it up a little more. Are you sure you can’t do it?”

    Me: “Ma’am, that thing we have over there is a convection oven. Your cup will catch on fire if I put it in there.”

    Customer: *blankly stares at me for several seconds* “…So you can’t do it?”

    Me: “Not unless you want your drink engulfed in flames.”

    Customer: “Oh…” *leaves the store, still confused*

    A Few Petals Short Of A Flower

    | USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (I work in Parks and Recreation, and our very public number means that we get a lot of interesting phone calls. An older woman calls me. Please note that it takes her at least a minute to say each sentence.)

    Me: “Parks and Rec, how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, I’d like to give you some ideas about going green.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, what can I do for you?”

    Caller: “Petunias. The city needs more petunias. Petunias everywhere.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, that sounds like a great idea. Our horticulturists are always looking for feedback from citizens.”

    Caller: “I’m not done. I want every household to get a basket of petunias, and if they let them die we need to punish them.”

    Me: “Um—”

    Caller: “We can make the ethnics do it. It will create responsibility for the drug-heads and the gangster children.”

    Me: “Um, ma’am, if I can just—”

    Caller: “The petunias need to be protected. We need to have petunia gardens everywhere to create responsibility! It wouldn’t be hard, just go down to the prisons and make the ethnics—”

    Me: “Okay! Thanks for calling! Goodbye!”

    Have Ambiguity, Will Travel

    | Fort Collins, CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Geography

    Customer: “I need some maps.”

    Me: “Maps of what?”

    Customer: “Places.”

    Me: “What kind of places?”

    Customer: “Other places!”

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