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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    It’s Not Getting Any Bella

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Crazy Requests

    Customer: “I’m looking for a book.”

    (I wait for a moment waiting for her to continue, before realizing she isn’t going to.)

    Me: “What book are you looking for?”

    Customer: “Well I don’t know the title or the author’s name.”

    Me: “Is there anything at all you know about the book?”

    Customer: “I know it has a blue cover.”

    Me: “We have several hundred volumes with blue covers. Is there anything else you can tell me to help narrow it down?”

    Customer: “Well, I think it was about a teenage girl.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but that really doesn’t narrow it down much.”

    Customer: “Oh my God! You are completely unhelpful! You should know what I’m talking about!”

    Me: “I could point you in the direction of our teen section so you could have a look and see if you recognize anything.”

    Customer: “That would take far too long! I just wanted one book, and you’ve completely wasted my time.” *storms out*

    Taking Nothing From The Experience

    | Detroit, MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

    (A customer calls with a very simple request, but because her tablet is out of warranty, so I have to charge her for service.)

    Me: “Ma’am, the credit card servers have gone down, so I’m still happy to assist you, no charge. Go ahead and click the button on the side of your device and your problem should be solved.”

    Caller: *after clicking the button* “It’s fixed! That was easy. Would you be able to reverse the charge?”

    Me: “I was unable to complete the transaction, so there will be no charge.”

    Caller: “That’s great, honey, but could you reverse the charges?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I never charged you. Your credit card will not be charged.”

    Caller: “Sweetheart, I don’t think you understand: I’m not asking you if you charged me, I’m asking you to please reverse the charges.”

    Me: “So you want me to give you back the money that I didn’t take from you?”

    Caller: “Yes!”

    Me: “Sure thing! Have a great day!”

    Caller: “Thanks, darling! You too!”

    It Isn’t The View That Is Spoiled

    | Ventura, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I work as a hostess in a very popular family restaurant. We have a playground on the patio as well as one of the best locations in town with a view over looking the ocean. Today we have a party of 100 fundraising for a youth football team, so there are a lot of kids.)

    Customer: “Two, for outside please.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, the patio is reserved for a party.”

    (The customer is sat by the window with a lovely view of the ocean.)

    Customer: “Excuse me? But you wouldn’t let us sit outside! And now those ugly kids are playing in my view! Make them move!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but they are part of the large party and I can’t ask them to leave.”

    Customer: “Are you serious?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I really don’t like kids either, but this is a family restaurant and family means kids.”

    Customer: “I’m never coming here again!”

    A Wally With The Wallets

    | LA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I’m a customer in line at the checkout counter, the third in line behind another customer whose items have already been scanned. This store has a rewards card, meaning you get a discount by using it and if not you pay full price. The woman doesn’t have the card with her.)

    Customer: “I am not about to spend full price when you know I have a card with you! Look it up in the computer.”

    Cashier: “Ma’am, I can’t. The cards are free and aren’t name-assigned.”

    Customer: “LOOK. IT. UP.”

    (For about five minutes this is the exchange, with the woman clearly convinced their system is more advanced than it really is.)

    Cashier: “Ma’am, please… there’s a line behind you. I have to wait on these people but I’ll be glad to call the manager over and let him talk to you.”

    Customer: “Well, fine… take the man right here and then we’ll continue talking.”

    (Much to our relief, the manager finally arrives.)

    Manager: “So, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “I don’t have my card with me and this dumb b**** of a cashier won’t look me up in the system.”

    Manager: “You didn’t fill out any paperwork or give a name or email address when you got that card, did you?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Manager: “Then how are we supposed to look it up in the system? There’s no information attached to your card.”

    Customer: “Well, I shouldn’t be expected to carry my wallet everywhere I go just to wave these stupid cards around! ”

    Manager:” Ma’am… isn’t that your wallet in your hand?”

    Customer: “Yes, but this is my wallet that holds my money and my credit cards! I don’t carry all that other s*** in this one!”

    Stiff Upper Lip Vs The American Quip

    | UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem

    (I work in a small independent music shop in the UK. Although our shelf space is limited, we have a pretty good reputation, because of the musical knowledge of our staff and our ability to source and order some really obscure CDs.)

    Customer: “Do you have [certain CD] in stock?”

    Me: “I’m afraid that we don’t have it at the moment.”

    (I quickly checking our database, I find that we’ve never had any requests for it until today.)

    Me: “I can source it for you. Would you like to place an order?”

    Customer: “I need it today. I’m going back to the States tomorrow.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; the suppliers of this disc usually take a couple of days to get things to us.”

    Customer: *looking hugely put out* “Well, can you send it to San Francisco?”

    Me: “Yes, that should be fine.”

    Customer: “I guess you’ll drop the shipping costs, seeing how you didn’t have it in stock when I asked.”

    Me: “I’m afraid that isn’t policy in this shop. We don’t pretend to be able to keep in stock any CD our customers might ask for, after all. But if you—”

    Customer: “Oh, yes, I know what this is. This is Britain muddling through, isn’t it? Just sixty years ago, you won the war; now you can’t even keep a CD in stock.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; we’re only a very small shop, and there’s a lot of CDs—”

    Customer: “Oh, yes, my friend said you’d try to make excuses, and she’s a Professor, you know. But look!” *holding up three CDs she’d like to buy* “I’m keeping you in business! Britain, muddling through!”

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