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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Less Charge, Less Thanks

    | TN, USA | Crazy Requests

    (A coworker and I have just set up the sales sign in the store. We are discussing which signs are going to give us the most problems.)

    Coworker: “The ones up front say everything is 30% off, but when I scanned it at the till, it’s 50% off.”

    Me: “At least it’s not the other way around. Someone can have a pleasant surprise at the register.”

    Manager: “Did you two see any of the signs for up front?”

    Coworker: “Yeah, I put up the ones corporate sent us.”

    Manager: “Did they say 50% off?”

    Coworker: “No, they all said 30% off, but everything is ringing up at 50% off.”

    Manager: “Oh. I just had a lady accuse me of false advertising.”

    Coworker: “What? But she got the 50% off. Why would she complain? She got a better deal than the sign said.”

    Manager: “I’m going to go make new signs…”

    The Idea Has No Silver Lining

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (I work in a jewelry store that makes it’s own jewelry. Because of this, we can do custom jobs and jewelry repair. We get some crazy requests, things from witchcraft to erotic.)

    Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes! I’d like to get a custom piece made. I have the design and everything!”

    Me: “Alright. Can I see it?”

    (The customer hands me a large wingnut. The kind you buy in the hardware store for a quarter.)

    Me: “Um…”

    Customer: “I need about a dozen of these made, in silver!”

    Me: “You realize this isn’t very practical, and will be expensive, right?”

    Customer: “Oh, no! It’s a wonderful idea! That’s why I’m giving it to you! You can produce them, and you’ll make enough within a couple of months!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I don’t think that’s true.”

    Customer: “But I’m giving you the idea, and you can just pay me back by giving me a dozen of them!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’ll have to charge you about $100 to produce each one of these. I’m not giving you $1200 for this idea. I know it will not sell. If you want me to make them, I need to be paid, in cash, in full.”

    Customer: “It’s a great idea! You’ll be sorry you passed it up!”

    Cart Thief

    | Denver, CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

    (I am helping a customer load a large item into their truck. They will need twine to secure their large kennel.)

    Me: “Okay, I will be back with twine.”

    (When I come back out, I see that they have used my cart rope to secure their load.)

    Me: “You can’t use that; I need it to push carts.”

    Customer: “It’s okay; we’ll bring it back.”

    Me: “No, I need it to push carts.”

    Customer: “Let me talk to your manager.”

    (I get my manager.)

    Manager: “We have twine; the cart pushers need that to push their carts.”

    Customer: “Twine isn’t as good though.”

    Manager: “I’m sorry; I cannot claim liability. That is a device to secure carts; you cannot use that to safely secure loads. Please give it back.”

    Customer: “Okay, fine!”

    (I go to get my rope, but the customer just drives off! The next week is really busy, and we’ve run out of carts. This leaves the customers having to wait for cart pushers to bring back carts, or to go into the parking lot and find it themselves. We cannot send more than three cart pushers, because we do not have enough rope. I see the same customer waiting while I am taking a break.)

    Customer: “What is wrong with you! There are no carts! This is no time to stand around while people are waiting. How come you guys don’t know to send more people!”

    Me: “Well, sir, I’ve been pushing carts for two hours, and I need to stay hydrated. And besides, someone, if you remember took our rope. Therefore, we can only send three people out to carts.”

    (The customer doesn’t know what to say. He gives me a dirty look, and starts to walk away. He runs into my manager.)

    Customer: “Your employee is accusing me of stealing your ropes! You guys are so incompetent! You can’t even get your s*** together and get carts!”

    Manager: “I told you last week to not take our ropes. Get out of my store; I don’t want to see you here anymore.”

    (The customer kicks a cart on the way out and speeds off. As he does, I can still see he hasn’t unloaded the kennel, and it’s still secured with the rope.)

    Aisle Be There For You

    | Marietta, GA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (My friend and I are grocery shopping. We have brought a shopping-list, but we still miss a couple of things.)

    Friend: “Oh, darn! I forgot to get orange juice! You just wait here. Don’t move; I’ll be right back.”

    (She hurries back to the refrigerated section. I wait for a while, and realize that she has left me at a bit of a bottleneck, blocking traffic. I know she’s going to take a while to chose an OJ, so I decide to go and get one of the other things we are missing. I head down the aisles, looking at the labels for trash bags. There’s an employee standing at the end of an aisle.)

    Employee: “Hi, are you finding everything?”

    Me: “I’m looking for trash bags. Where will I find those?”

    Employee: “Oh, yeah, it’s right at the end of this aisle on the left.”

    Me: “Thanks!”

    Employee: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

    Me: “Actually, yes. So I’m helping my friend shop, and she told me to wait over there, but I’m going to get trash bags. In a little bit, she’s going to come around the corner and look lost, then annoyed, and then start searching aisles. Could you tell her where I went?”

    Employee: “Uh… Yeah, sure.”

    (A little bit later, my friend appears next to me with a look of confusion on her face.)

    Me: “You found me!”

    Friend: “Yeah… How did the employee know I was looking for you?”

    Say Neigh To Demanding Customers

    | ME, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, Top

    (I work at a barn as a stable-hand, and keep my own horse there. My daughter comes to the barn after school, and if she helps with chores, I give her riding lessons on my horse. A customer approaches me while I’m giving her a lesson.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but what do you think you’re doing?!”

    Me: “Teaching my daughter how to ride.”

    Customer: “Well this is my daughter’s lesson time, and that’s her lesson horse!”

    (I pull out the lesson schedule.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but there are no lessons scheduled for this time.”

    Customer: “Yes there is! Now you get that grubby child off my baby’s horse before I get the manager!”

    Me: “I’m not going to tell my daughter that she can’t ride my horse.”

    (The customer storms off, and comes back with the manager.)

    Customer: “There she is! That b**** right there put her grubby child on my daughter’s lesson horse, and won’t leave the ring so she can have her lesson.”

    Me: “I’ve tried to explain to you already that there are no lessons scheduled for the rest of the day. That’s my horse, and she certainly isn’t a lesson horse.”

    Customer: “Do you hear how disrespectful she’s being? I demand you fire her for being so rude to me.”

    Manager: “You want me to fire my best hand for letting her daughter ride her horse on her own time, when there are no lessons planned?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

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