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  • May Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Going Into A Song And Dance Over It

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem

    (A customer is buying over $200 worth of used CDs, most of which are missing barcodes and have to be manually entered. To boot, they are mostly classical, which means they’re covered in text, often in different languages, etc., and it’s hard to pick out the information I need.)

    Customer: “Is there any way this can go any faster? I’m in quite a hurry.”

    (Yes, I’m sure he picked out all 50 friggin’ CDs in QUITE a hurry.)

    Biting The Hand That Fees You

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

    Me: “Hi. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes. I want to know if my fee has been waived.”

    Me: “Your fee?”

    Customer: “Yes, my parking fee. I always stay here and you all always waive it for me.”

    Me: “Okay…” *checks computer* “No, your fee is still there.”

    Customer: “This is unacceptable! The check-in guy told me that he would waive it! I want a manager!”

    Me: “Okay, then…”

    (I get a manager and explain the situation. We review the customer’s past stays. So far he has only stayed here four times in the past year. They speak.)

    Manager: “Hi. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes. I need my fee waived! You always do it for me so I should get it!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but if you have parked in the garage—”

    Customer: “I’ve seen you all waive it for others! Why not for me? That’s not fair!”

    Manager: “Well, what about those that have paid?”

    Customer: “What about them?”

    Manager: “It’s unfair to them that they should pay and you don’t.”

    Customer: “I don’t care! As a manager, you should use your initiative and do as I say!”

    Manager: “Sir—”

    Customer: *slaps fist on counter* “As a manager, you should do what I want! Always! The customer is always right!”

    (They argue a lot, with the customer interrupting my manager’s every two words with repeats of, ‘as a manager…’ Finally, seeing that my manager won’t be bullied, he storms off, swearing that he would talk to the general manager later. My manager replies he is free to, and drops his smile when the customer leaves.)

    Manager: “Jerk!”

    (Reason number one million why I would never like to be a manager!)

    Mother Is On The Job

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (My workplace provides career advice for youth and young adults. We sometimes have parents come in to ask for help. However, these parents didn’t think to bring their kid with them.)

    Mother: *walking up to the reception desk* “Are companies even hiring students?”

    Me: “Uhm… yes. Yes, they are. It’s summer – there are a lot of seasonal positions to fill.”

    Mother: “But my son can’t find a job.”

    Me: *looking behind her to try to spot her son* “It can take a little bit to find something. Has he come in to see us yet?”

    Mother: “No, he doesn’t want to.”

    Me: “Well, it would be a good first step. Does he have a resume yet? Has he written cover letters before?”

    Mother: “He’s got a resume, but I write his cover letters for him.”

    Me: *hoping I heard her wrong* “I’m sorry? You write them for him?”

    Mother: “Yeah, or he wouldn’t do it!”

    Me: “Well, he really has to be the one to write them; it’s not a good situation if the employer is under the impression your son is writing them when he’s not.”

    Mother: “Oh, I tell them.”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Mother: “I write, ‘I’m writing on behalf of my 16-year-old son, who is in need of a job.’ They know it’s not him. He doesn’t know I’m applying to jobs for him.”

    Me: “…”

    Mother: *becoming irate* “He needs a job!”

    Me: “I understand, ma’am. But you can’t apply to jobs for your son. He has to apply for them himself.”

    Mother: “But he won’t apply on his own! All he does is sit on his a**s in the basement and play video  games!”

    Me: *trying to sound professional* “Ma’am, have you considered banning him from playing games until he applies for jobs?”

    Mother: *affronted* “I can’t do that to my son! That would be cruel! He just needs a job!”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry, ma’am. I can’t give him a job. He has to go out and earn one for himself.”

    Mother: “Fine, then.”

    (She turned to leave and I noticed her husband had been face-palming behind her, shaking his head in shame.)

    Common Sense Is In The Bag

    | Selangor, Malaysia | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (An in-house guest walks back into the hotel lobby.)

    Guest: “I demand to speak to your manager!”

    Me: “Sure, ma’am. I’ll call the manager now.”

    (The manager comes down to the lobby.)

    Manager: “Yes? How can I assist you, ma’am?”

    Guest: “I would like to claim MYR5000 from the hotel for the loss of my bag!”

    Manager: “I am sorry, but when did this happen and where was the last place you kept the bag?”

    Guest: “No. I just bought the bag from the mall and it was snatched by a motorist on my way back. It cost me MYR5000 for the bag. Now it is stolen so the hotel must pay me back!”

    Manager: “I am sorry, ma’am. Would you like to lodge a police report?”

    Guest: “No. Just pay me my money back.”

    Manager: “I am sorry again, ma’am. But the loss of the bag is not the responsibility of the hotel as it happened outside the hotel premises. However, we can send you to the nearest hospital for a check-up if you need it, or the police station to file a report. We are sorry for the loss, but we cannot pay you for something that is not taken by the hotel or our staff.”

    Guest: “But I am your guest and I lost a bag. How is that not your responsibility? I am never coming back and I will tell all my friends and family about your poor attitude!”

    Not Being Very Adult About It

    | Pasadena, MD, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at an adult themed store. We close at 10 pm and I have just locked the doors. I have two friends waiting for me in the parking lot, and we start having a conversation. Before we know it, we have been standing around talking for two hours, when a guy in a truck pulls up and gets out of his car.)

    Customer: *pulling on door* “Aw, are you guys closed?”

    Me: “Yeah, we closed two hours ago.”

    Customer: “Well, can you open real quick? I need to buy something.”

    Me: “No, we closed two hours ago. If it was really important you would have come in earlier.”

    Customer: “But it IS important! You should open and let me buy something!”

    Me: “Dude, this is a PORN store. It’s not life threatening, so, no I will not be opening. Buy your sexy-time things elsewhere.”

    Customer: *slinks off embarrassed*

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