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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Common Sense Playing Truant

    | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, School, Top

    (I am a junior in college. I’m working retail over Christmas break. It’s early afternoon on a weekday.)

    Customer: *huffs up to me* “They really shouldn’t let you work at this hour. Getting an education is more important than some low-rent job.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I don’t mean to be rude, but what are you talking about?”

    Customer: “You’re, what, 15 years old? They shouldn’t let kids your age work at all, but especially not during the school day.”

    Me: “Oh, sorry for the confusion, ma’am. I’m actually 21, and a junior at [university about 300 miles away]. We have a very long holiday break, so I’ve been off classes for a few weeks now.”

    Customer: “That’s not possible. I need to speak with your manager.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I know I look somewhat young, but I really don’t think it’s necessary to speak to my manager. I’m really, truly a college student on winter break.”

    Customer: “I’ll find your manager myself!”

    (The customer storms off. A few minutes later, I hear my manager over my headset.)

    Manager: “[My name], any chance you have your student ID on you?”

    Me: “I think so… want me to bring it up front if I have it?”

    Manager: “If you could.”

    (I go get my student ID, and bring it to the front of the store.)

    Me: *to customer* “Here’s my student ID, ma’am.”

    Customer: “You must be one of those high school students who takes college classes, too. It’s not possible for you to as old as you say you are. This store should be fined for letting you work during the school day.”

    Me: “Ma’am, my university is hundreds of miles away. You think I commute several hours back and forth every day to take advanced classes?”

    (My manager tells me to go back to work, and I see the customer huff out of the store a few minutes later. A few more minutes pass.)

    Customer: “There she is, officer; arrest her for truancy.”

    Me: “Oh. My. God. You got mall security over this?”

    Mall Security: “If you let me see your driver’s license, I’ll kick her out of the mall for the day, and ban her from your store.”

    Me: “Fair enough…”

    (She was not invited back to our store.)

    Well, That Went South

    | PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Top

    (At my job, I am well known to my customers for my politeness and excellent service. I’m also well known for my red and black hair, since it’s a bit different. My manager comes to talk to me. She is laughing a bit.)

    Manager: “So we just got a customer complaint about you.”

    Me: “Oh, really? I’m a little surprised.”

    Manager: “Yeah, me too. You just missed the phone call, actually.”

    Me: “Okay… well… what did they say?”

    Manager: “She told me you were really rude to her.”

    Me: “I was?”

    Manager: “I know. I told her you were the nicest one here. I asked her if she was sure it was you and she said ‘Yeah, the girl with the red and black hair!’”

    Me: “Okay…? Did they tell you what I said?”

    Manager: “She said, ‘Well, she told me to have a nice day and everything… but she didn’t ask me how my day went! I found that incredibly rude!’”

    Me: “Wow… really?”

    Not So Smart-Phone, Part 8

    | Holland, MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

    (A customer walks in with his prepaid cell phone and a phone card, clearly used.)

    Me: “Hi! Something I can help you with?”

    Customer: “Yeah. I just bought this card, and now my phone isn’t working!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Can I take a look at it?”

    (He hands the phone over. After a few moments, I realize his SIM card is outdated and he’ll have to get a new phone.)

    Me: “How long have you had this phone?”

    Customer: “Probably about four years. I thought they made them to last longer than this!”

    Me: “Well unfortunately, you’ll need a new SIM card. It’s an easy enough fix, and you’ll keep your minutes and phone number. You just have to give them a call and they’ll send you a new one, free of charge.”

    Customer: “How long will that take?”

    Me: “Three to five business days.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous! That b**** who added this card screwed it up! I want a refund!”

    Me: “Give me just a minute.”

    (I call the phone company and confirm that the minutes that were added went through fine. It is simply the technology of the old SIM is outdated.)

    Me: “Sir, the minutes were added without a problem. It’s just a SIM card that’s causing an issue; that’s all.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe this! I demand a refund on these minutes, right now! Where’s your manager?”

    (I find a manager and explain the situation. She comes over with me.)

    Manager: “I heard you were having some issues with your phone. How can I help?”

    Customer: “By giving me a d*** refund on these minutes, that’s how!”

    Manager: “So you want the minutes refunded.”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Manager: “The minutes that are still clearly added to your phone.”

    Customer: “…yes.”

    Manager: “So the nice woman who helped you out did her job at the time.”

    Customer: “Yeah, well, I still want that b**** fired!”

    Manager: “That’s not going to happen, sir. In the meantime, please do as this young lady told you to get your phone fixed. That’s the most we can do at this time.”

    (He stares us both down for a minute before storming out.)

    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 7
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 6
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 5
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 4

    Throwing Around Bags Of Blame

    | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

    (I am ringing up an older customer—Customer #1—who has always been a bit difficult. I have a line and am trying to get it down as much as possible. The customer forgets her bag, so I put it aside in case she comes back—which she does. By now, I am serving a second customer.)

    Customer #1: “Did I leave a bag here?”

    Me: “Yeah, I have it right here for you.”

    Customer #1: “It’s your fault I left it here!”

    Me: “Oh? How is that?”

    Customer #1: “You were too busy and didn’t tell me how many bags I had! It’s all your fault! This is horrible customer service! I won’t be back!”

    (Fortunately, Customer #2 speaks up in my defense.)

    Customer #2: “How exactly is it your fault that she forgot something?”

    Me: *sarcastic* “Not sure. It’s obvious she’s never forgotten one before…”

    The Road To Hell Is Paved With Detoured Intentions

    | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Top, Transportation

    (On break, I read on my phone that there has been a horrible truck accident. News reports say traffic will be shut down along that highway for several hours. After break, I am ringing up a customer and notice where she is from.)

    Me: “Just curious, but were you planning on taking the turnpike home?”

    Customer: “Yes, why?”

    Me: “There’s an accident, and it will be shut down for a few hours. You might want to try taking another route.”

    Customer: “What? This is ridiculous. What will you do for me?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “I’ll have to go out of my way; this will cost gas, and I might be late. You need to compensate me for that! Where’s your manager?”

    Me: “I am the department manager and… no. We won’t compensate you because the turnpike is closed.”

    Customer: “I’ll contact your headquarters! Forget this stuff; I’m not shopping here again!”

    (She storms off before finishing paying. Apparently she did contact our corporate, who were quite confused and wouldn’t give her compensation either.)

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