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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Driving To The Wrong Conclusion

    | Australia | Crazy Requests, Technology, Transportation

    (The company I work for has a competition to win a car for customers who purchase a sewing machine and have store membership. A customer comes in, thrusting a receipt at me, in broken English.)

    Customer: “I pick up.”

    Me: *looking at receipt* “Oh, you are here to pick up a machine you have already paid for? What name is it under?”

    Customer: “I pick up.”

    Me: “Yes, I know. I need your name.”

    Customer: “I buy sewing machine. I pick up.” *points to competition sign*

    Me: “What do you want to pick up?”

    Customer: “I buy sewing machine. Get car.”

    Me: “Oh, no, that is a competition. If you buy sewing machine you might win a car.”

    Customer: “Where car?”

    Me: “Competition is to WIN car, which will be drawn in two weeks. You might win a car.”

    Customer: “Car not here.”

    Me: “No, come back in two weeks to see if you won it.”

    Customer: “I get car?”

    Me: “Only if you win it.”

    Customer: “Can get car in two weeks?”

    Me: “If you win it, we will let you know. Good luck.”

    (The customer leaves. I wait until they are safely out the door before I stop biting my lips in an effort not to laugh.)

    Coworker: “You were with them for ages. What was wrong?”

    Me “They thought they got a free car with a $200 sewing machine.”

    Coworker: “You’re having me on. That’s a joke?!”

    (Two weeks later…)

    Coworker: *to me* “Those customers came back in to pick up the car. I thought you were joking that day.”

    (They came in two more times looking for their free car!)

    Muddling Through

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (Our company helps as an outsource development company, building games with other companies that don’t have enough manpower to complete them. These particular clients have never made a game before, have no art or gaming experience, and therefore have been incredibly difficult to work with. We have been revising a single icon for the interface for two days now, and both sides are becoming frustrated.)

    Client: “It’s still MUDDY. The concept wasn’t muddy! Why do you have so much brown in there?! I can’t read any of it.”

    Me: “The concept was clearer because it’s in black and white. You asked us to incorporate every color we’ve used in this so far. I don’t feel it’s muddy. We’ve reduced the only browns, the shields, down by almost 50%. I don’t understand what is reading as ‘muddy’ to you.”

    Client: “The brown of everything! The brown clothes and brown hair and brown skin and brown shield—”

    Me: “Wait. Are you telling me the hair and clothes read as brown to you?”

    Client: “YES. I don’t understand why this is so difficult!”

    Me: “The hair is bright red and the clothes are dark green. They are nowhere near brown. They are the exact colors as used by the character in the game.”

    Client: “Ugh, whatever. I can’t see that! I’m COLORBLIND.”

    Me: “So… let me get this straight. You are complaining about overuse of brown, when you can’t see colors properly?”

    Client: “Right. Look. Just make it read better. Make the swords bigger.”

    Me: “… I need a drink.”

    In Desperate Need Of A Guide

    , | Kalix, Sweden | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

    (I’m working at a small fast food restaurant where we also have some assorted snacks, magazines, and newspapers. An elderly customer walks in.)

    Customer: “Oh, this TV-guide is old!”

    Me: “It is? Can I take a look? No, it’s the current one, till the fourth of December.”

    Customer: “But it came yesterday!”

    Me: “Yes, it did.”

    Customer: “I don’t want to pay for the day I missed! Remove that day from the price!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I can’t do that.”

    Customer: *angrily* “But it’s old! I shouldn’t pay for a day I can’t use!”

    Me: “I don’t control what day you buy your TV-guide on…”

    (She eventually bought the TV-guide and left in a snit, slamming the door behind her.)

    Getting Sick Of This Call

    | BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

    (I work at a call centre for a rental company. We are open quite late so keep in mind that it’s around midnight at this point.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling—”

    Caller: “I insist that you rush through the call as I can’t hold the phone for extended periods due to medical reasons!”

    Me: “Oh, okay. First I’ll need some information—”

    Caller: “No, no! That’s a waste of time! I insist that you refund me right away. And if you don’t I’m going to sue you and the company for my injuries because you’re taking too long!”

    (She also ‘had a seizure’ while on the call because my voice was too high pitched…)

    Refunder Blunder, Part 7

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (Customers are able to purchase items through an affiliated online sales channel, which has its own customer service department. Stores really do not have a lot of information regarding these orders, but customers usually come here first when there’s a problem. This customer calls on a Saturday.)

    Caller: “Yeah, I just got an email saying my order’s been cancelled. How do I get my money back?”

    Me: “Well, your refund will be processed however you paid for it, so it will go onto your payment card automatically.”

    Caller: “How much will I get back?”

    Me: “I’m not sure; I’d have to pull up your order details.”

    (I can basically see what they ordered, what they paid, and their order status, that’s it.)

    Caller: “Can I just get cash back? I don’t want to wait a month for it to process.”

    Me: “Well, it will only take a couple of business days…”

    Caller: “So, how much am I getting back? Why is this taking so long?”

    Me: “Well, let’s see. You paid about $5—”

    Caller: “But I paid shipping! If I’m not being shipped anything, I shouldn’t be charged shipping!”

    Me: “Yes, that’s true. You will be refunded the shipping—”

    Caller: “Then how much am I getting back? And when will I be getting it? God! Why are you taking so long with this?”

    Me: “Well, this was an online order. You’d really have better luck talking to online customer service.”

    Caller: “What’s their number?”

    Me: “Let me just pull that up for you—”

    Caller: “I’m not wasting another minute on this. Call me back next month when you’ve finally found it.” *rattles off phone number and hangs up on me*

    (Despite the shock of her rudeness, I pull up the online customer service number and proceed to call her back maybe 30 seconds later.)

    Me: “Hi, I’ve got that customer service number for you—”

    Caller: “About time. Give it to me.”

    (I give her the number and she hangs up on me again.)

    Me: “Well, that was fun.”

    Coworker: “Isn’t online customer service closed on weekends?”

    Me: “Yes, it is.”

    (And I would have warned her of that if she hadn’t hung up on me again. I guessed she had fun figuring that out for herself.)

    Refunder Blunder, Part 6
    Refunder Blunder, Part 5
    Refunder Blunder, Part 4

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