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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    In Uniform, Out Of Work

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Crazy Requests

    (I walk into a store without realizing I am wearing khakis and a red polo; they are the store’s uniform colors. A middle aged lady stops me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, can you tell me where to find the lamps?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry ma’am. I don’t work here.”

    Customer: “Don’t you lie to me! You are still wearing your uniform! Obviously you work here!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but this just happens to be what I wore today.”

    Customer: “HOW DARE YOU! I can’t believe you would treat a customer like this.”

    (A manager walks up, focused on the yelling customer.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “I demand you fire this employee! He is refusing to help me!”

    (The manager turns to talk to me. I see the surprise on his face, due to the fact that I am not one of his employees.)

    Manager: “Is it true that you refused to help this woman?”

    Me: “Yeah, I suppose…”

    Manager: “Alright then, you’re fired.”

    Me: “D*** man! Really?”

    Manager: “Yes.”

    (He turns back to the lady.)

    Manager: “The lamps are over there, ma’am. I will personally take care of this troublemaker.”

    (As the lady smugly walks off, he turns back to me.)

    Manager: “Sorry about that. You don’t actually work here do you?”

    Me: “Nope. You just fired me.”

    (We share a laugh, and he takes me to the attached coffee house to buy me a drink.)

    Crazy Just Got To Another Level

    | PA, USA | Crazy Requests

    (I am handling a sales order with a customer. An older lady taps me on the shoulder.)

    Customer: “I can’t find your elevator anywhere!”

    Me: “It’s a one story building. I am afraid we don’t have one.”

    Customer: “That’s horrible! My knees are so bad! I just can’t handle the stairs!”

    Me: “We… don’t have stairs.”

    (As I am replying, she has turned and walked away. About a week later, I get a call…)

    State Employee: “I am calling to investigate a complaint we received that your store is violating ADA. Is it true you don’t have an elevator?”

    Me: “Yes. I don’t have a second floor or stairs either.”

    State Employee: “So, I just file this under ‘crazy’… gotcha.”

    Guessing Is A Whiskey Business

    | UK | Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (An elderly customer comes in. I’ve never seen him before in nearly two years of working there.)

    Customer: “I’d like a bottle of whiskey, please.”

    Me: “Okay, which one would you like?”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t know…”

    (I step to the side so he has a better view of the whiskey, but he just continues to stare at me. A few seconds pass…)

    Me: “Have you decided?”

    (The customer becomes irate.)

    Customer: “No, I haven’t decided! I was waiting for you to tell me!”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “I was waiting for you to tell me what I want.”

    (I start listing the brands and prices for each bottle.)

    Customer: “No! I don’t care about any of that! Just tell me what I want!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’m not sure what size bottle you’re after, or brand, or even how much money you have on you.”

    Customer: “USELESS! You lot are supposed to be here to help. I don’t know why I bothered coming here! Every time I come here, you lot never help me! You’re all USELESS!”

    (He storms out the shop. I begin to serve the next customer.)

    Customer #2: “Well, that was weird! Anyway, I’d like some wine please.”

    Me: “Okay, would you like any wine in particular?”

    Customer #2: “I don’t know, red wine? Can’t you just tell me what I want?! You’re so useless! WHY WON’T YOU JUST READ MY MIND AND TELL ME WHAT I WANT?! DO I EVEN LIKE RED WINE?!”

    (He pretends to storm out the shop. That guy never fails to cheer us up!)

    She Let It Get To Her Head

    | Columbus, OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (A customer comes to the counter with an expensive hair treatment.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, this appears to be used. Do you have any others?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We just finished putting our stock away. If that was the last one on the shelf, then it’s the last one we have.”

    Customer: “Well, I suppose I’ll get it anyway. I’ve never tried it before, but I pumped some out and it does feel very nice.”

    Me: “Ma’am, were you the one that opened and used it?”

    Customer: “Yes, but I had to see what it was like before I spent all this money on it! Now, are you sure there aren’t any more in the back? I really don’t want to buy something that’s been used!”

    I Yam Not Impressed

    | New Zealand | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Don’t put the apples in the bag with the potatoes! They’ll get bruised!”

    Me: “The apples are in top, ma’am.They won’t get bruised.”

    Customer: “But the potatoes are heavy; they’ll bruise the apples! Geez, don’t you know anything!?”

    (I put the apples in a separate bag. I’m careful not to put anything in with the potatoes, as they might get bruised. The other bags are pretty full, and the last item is a bag of loose lettuce.)

    Me: “Would you like this in a separate bag?”

    Customer: “No, that can go on top of the potatoes. There’s plenty of space.”

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