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  • Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Anything But Basic

    | IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (This consists of an interaction that takes place between three different customers (four people), my boss, and me. I have just finished ringing Customer #1, and wished her a good evening.)

    Customer #2: “Hello, I need someone to get me something from back in the store.”

    Me: “Sure, I’ll be happy to help! What can we get you?”

    Customer #2: “I need two bags of [Brand], chicken and pea for cats.”

    Me: “Okay, did you want those in the larger bags?”

    Customer #2: “Yes, it has a green stripe on the top.”

    Me: “All right, are you sure about the formula? I don’t think [Brand] comes in chicken, it’s usually turkey.”

    Customer #2: “Yes, I get it here all the time. It’s chicken.”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll be right back.”

    (Walking to the back of the store I pass Customer’s #3 and #4 and inform them that if they are ready, I’ll just be a moment – they were still half way down the main aisle of the store.)

    Customer 3 & 4: “All right, take your time!”

    (Upon reaching the aisle with our [Brand] formulas, I find they are all either turkey & potato, or salmon & potato. There is one formula with a green stripe at the top that is a senior formula. Rather than automatically assume that this is the bag, since changing proteins can be rather serious for cats, I decide to go back up and confirm what she wanted. On my way up, I notice that Customer #1 is speaking to Customer’s #3 and #4, who are now in my line.)

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s as I thought… there is no [Sub-Brand] chicken and pea. It’s only turkey and salmon protein formulas.”

    Customer #2: “No, I didn’t say [Sub-Brand], did I? I said [Brand]. I get it here all the time. It’s very expensive. You obviously didn’t look in the right spot or don’t know what you’re talking about. I suppose I’m going to have to go all the way back there myself to educate you on where it is, and I’m not very happy about it.”

    (While she’s on her rambling fit, I page my manager to the front to assist the customer for two reasons: one, it is obvious she is going to be an issue and two, I have to ring the customers present in my line. The whole time she continues to ramble on until…)

    Customer #1: “Ma’am, if you’d stop complaining for two seconds, you’d understand that he did what he could to find your food.”

    Customer #2: “Then he needs to get someone–”

    Customer #1: “If you were paying attention you’d hear that he already did page an associate up to assist you. Maybe if you’d shut up you’d notice that instead of bitching. I don’t work here, but you’ve gotta be polite when talking to people.”

    (Around this time, my manager has arrived at the front, and I nod towards Customer #2, whom he proceeds to assist. Shortly after that, Customer #1 leaves and I proceed to help Customer’s #3 and #4. Sadly, my handheld has stopped working and I have to manually type in all of the barcodes on the purchases. Both of them are very understanding. I notice my boss carrying the bags of food out to the ladies car. A page comes on that he was needed in the back of the store. I tendered Customer #3 and #4′s transaction and they leave. Shortly after my boss comes back up to me.)

    Manager: “So… that lady has issues. I tell her we’ll find whatever it is she’s looking for if she’d just describe the bag to me. When she tells me it’s ‘[Brand]‘ I automatically think of [Sub-Brand], and she yelled that it wasn’t. She then said that it was this bag of [Different Brand], which I can’t even see anyplace on the bag it says the word ‘basics.’”

    Me: “Yeah, I tried to explain that, too…”

    Manager: “Then she says she’s legally blind and that that would explain that… Fine. She has me check the bags over for holes, and they look good. Then, as I’m ringing her up, her savers card can’t be found, and she complains about that and how we never get it right and that she’s going to shop at the other store from now on. Then I ask her which car is hers and where she wants them in the car… She tells me ‘the red one.’ I then ask again where she wants them and she said ‘the. Red. Car!’ So I say, ‘The. Trunk? Or. The. Front. Seat?’ So, she has me toss them in the front seat…”

    (Moments later…)

    Manager: “So… wait… she told me she’s legally blind. What the h*** is she doing driving?!

    Other Customers Might Need Hazard Pay

    | Newry, Northern Ireland, UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I’m looking for a cheap pair of runners for bike riding in a well known, high street supermarket. I’m wearing a hoodie that looks similar to the fleece jackets worn by staff. A man, large and burly, comes up to me.)

    Man: “Hey, you! How much are these jeans?”

    (I realise he thinks I work here.)

    Me: “Sorry, friend, I don’t work here. Wouldn’t know.”

    (I expect that to be the end of it.)

    Man: “That’s not what I f***** asked, pal.”

    (I left quite quickly.)

    Fired Before You’re Hired

    | WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I’m at a very large store with my mother. While she is getting some groceries, I wander to the electronics area. I hadn’t realized that I was wearing a shirt similar colored to the ones the employees wear, and a keychain around my neck. I heard a customer asking someone for help for some while, but I obviously had nothing to do with it.)

    Customer: *angrily storms up to right beside me* “EXCUSE ME!

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Customer: *visibly irritated and switching a baby from hip to hip* “I’ve been trying to get your help for the past two minutes! I need you to open up the games’ case!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t help you. I actua—”

    Customer: *begins yelling* “WHO THE F*** DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! ARE ALL OF THE PEOPLE AT [STORE] REALLY THAT F****** STUPID AND LAZY?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I don’t w—”

    Customer: “I want to see your manager! He NEEDS to know that you’re just lazying about, refusing to help those who PAY your bills!”

    Me: “See, that’s impossible because I actually work at—”

    (The customer angrily storms off and I just sort of shrug it off. I continue browsing and start to make my way over to back by my mom a few minutes later when the enraged customer and an obvious employee come over.)

    Customer: “Yeah! This is the f****** lazy dumb-a** who was refusing to help me!”

    Employee: *annoyed* “Where’s your name tag? What’s your name?”

    Me: *fed up* “I don’t work here!”

    Customer: “Yeah, not anymore you lazy b****! You’re too stupid to even work at [Store]!”

    Employee: “Which department are you because I want to speak with the department manager about their negligence in supervision!”

    (At this time, my mom came around because I’d been taking so long, and she gets pulled into the argument. It took fifteen minutes and the electronics department manager before they told me to ‘just not come in for the next shift.’ I got fired from a job I never had.)

    Tourists From The Land Of Irony

    | Wales, UK | Crazy Requests, Tourists/Travel

    (Wales is currently enjoying a heat wave; temperatures in our popular beach resort have averaged about 28°C (about 82°F) for nearly a fortnight and the town and beach are completely packed out with holidaymakers and day-trippers.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to complain.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that; what’s the problem?”

    Customer: “There’s too many tourists.”

    Me: “Oh, well you can blame Mr. Sunshine for that; it’s been packed to capacity here since the schools broke up for summer. Everyone wants a splash in the sea!”

    Customer: “Yeah, I know. I mean, that’s why we came. We drove down for the day from [Major Midland City]. We just didn’t think it would be busy.”

    Me: “You didn’t think the first Saturday of the school holidays that is also the hottest day of the year so far for Wales would cause [Town] to become busy?”

    Customer: “Well… no.”

    Me: “I’m sorry you aren’t happy but there isn’t a lot I can do from here.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s not fair. I’ve spent £40 filling my car with petrol and had to sit in queues of traffic. I want an empty beach!”

    Me: “Well, there’s quieter beaches than [Town]. Since you have a car maybe you could drive to [Nearby Beach] or [Other Nearby Beach]. Those are accessed over sand dunes so a lot of people don’t go there.”

    Customer: “So now you’re telling me I’ve wasted £3.50 on an all-day parking ticket?”

    Me: “Well, if you want to stay in [Town] then you can. If you want to go to a quieter beach and come back to [Town] for food then your ticket will still be valid.”

    Customer: “Hrrmph. I suppose so. I wish you wouldn’t let tourists here though. It spoils it.”

    Turn Off The Holy Light

    | NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

    (I work at a hotel near a well-known liberal arts university. A dog show was recently hosted at its athletics complex, and some very… interesting… guests were attracted to it. This call took place just before midnight.)

    Me: “Good evening, front desk. This is [My Name].”

    Guest: “Yes, hi, I’m in room [number]. I was wondering if you could help me out. My Pomeranian gets excited when he sees lights shining on buildings, and he won’t stop barking at a nearby building.”

    Me: “Well… could you describe the building to me, ma’am?”

    Guest: “Yes. It’s a tall green steeple with a clock on it, like you’d see on top of a church.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I think you’re describing the chapel at the university.”

    Guest: “Okay. Do you know if they turn the lights off?”

    Me: “They don’t, I’m afraid. Would it be possible just to shut your curtains?”

    Guest: “Oh, I don’t think I can do that. I really need the curtains open… I can’t sleep when it’s totally dark.”

    Me: “Okay, well, if it’s going to be an issue for your dog, I’d be happy to help you move to a room that faces either the courtyard or the golf course.”

    Guest: “Well… I’d rather not do that. Do you think you could just call the university and ask them to turn the lights off?”

    (At this point, I fall silent in astonishment. She’s basically wanting me to call the police department of the university and ask them to turn off the lights on the most recognizable landmark on the campus, simply so her little precious will shut up.)

    Me: “Well, ma’am, I’m afraid that that’s not something I can do. However, again, there are several options, and I’d be happy to accommodate you with any of them.”

    Guest: “So you’re not going to accommodate my request, though?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am happy to accommodate any requests that are within my power to fulfill. This one is not.”

    Guest: *hangs up*

    (Three days later, I get called into the manager’s office.)

    Manager: “So I got a nasty email from a guest this weekend, saying you wouldn’t help her out. What’s up with this?”

    (I tell the manager the whole story.)

    Manager: “Huh. Well, don’t worry. She was rude to half the staff anyway.”

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