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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    Reiterate The Eight

    | Oslo, Norway | Crazy Requests, Time

    (I work part-time at a dry cleaning place that closes at 8 pm on weekdays. I always close at exactly 8 pm, and finish up as fast as I can to catch the bus home. This particular night, I am running a few minutes late, and don’t get to start closing the register until 8:05. A customer comes with her arms full of clothing at 8:10.)

    Customer: “Hi! I want to hand in some clothes for cleaning!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry, but I’m already closed. I can’t take in any more clothes today. You’re going to have to come by tomorrow.”

    Customer: *seeming perfectly calm* “Oh… that’s all right! I’ll do that then!”

    (The next day, the customer comes back. This time, the manager, who works the daytime shift, is still there.)

    Me: “Hi! How may I help you?”

    Customer: *very angrily, to the manager* “I came here last night, and this girl told me I was too late and that I couldn’t hand in my clothes!”

    Manager: “Oh? [My Name], did you close early last night?”

    Me: “No. Actually, I closed later than I usually do.”

    Customer: “Well, I was only here three minutes past eight! I don’t understand why you couldn’t take in my clothes!”

    Me: “Actually, you were here ten minutes past eight. I was looking at the giant clock that’s hanging right behind you. But I’d be happy to register your clothes in now.”

    (I finish the transaction, with the customer still looking generally unhappy.)

    Manager: *to the customer as she’s leaving* “And by the way! We close at exactly eight. Three minutes past is still after closing time!”

    Customer: “Well, that is just horrible customer service!”

    Manager: *to me, after the customer has left* “How is it bad customer service? Technically, that’s no customer service.”

    An Emerging Emergency

    | Oceanside, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

    (A tenant was upset that she had called the maintenance emergency number at midnight on a Saturday night, and they did not respond immediately. She came into my office the following Monday morning to explain her ‘emergency.’)

    Tenant: “I had a leak from my bathtub faucet. I put a bucket in the bathtub to catch the leak. It got worse and the bucket overflowed. Don’t you consider that an emergency?”

    Me: “Did the overflow go down the bathtub drain?”

    Tenant: “Yes.”

    Me: “Did any water leak outside of the bathtub?”

    Tenant: “No.”

    Me: “No, we do not consider a leak contained in the bathtub as an emergency.”

    No End To The Weekends

    | CA, USA | Crazy Requests

    Customer: “Hello! Please, we would like to come to your play this weekend and we see that it sold out. We have waited all year and this is the only weekend we can get out of all the madness in our lives. Please, please, please, any chance we can get tickets? I’ll bake and bring cookies! Scream! Please?!”

    Me: “We had a couple cancellations on Friday, so I can actually get you in at 11 pm. We really like cookies.”

    Customer: “We were actually hoping for Sunday.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t have a show on Sunday. Let me know if you want the tickets for 11 pm on Friday.”

    Customer: “What about 9 pm on Saturday?”

    Me: “We are completely sold out on Saturday. Do you want the tickets for 11 pm on Friday?”

    Customer: “We actually can’t do Friday, so we’ll just come next weekend.”

    Just Crossed The Online Line

    | NS, Canada | Crazy Requests, Technology, Wild & Unruly

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Retail Company]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: *happy* “Hi there! Ugh, I ended up ordering the wrong thing online. Silly me; should have been paying more attention. Can I return this?”

    Me: “Yah! Sure, no problem. Can I get the order number from you?”

    Customer: “Of course!” *reads it off*

    Me: “Perfect. Just one second. I’m sorry; my system shut off on me. We have an online return option. Would you like me to walk you through the steps? It’s really simple. If not just give me. like. 60 seconds to bring my system back up and I would be more than happy to do the return for you.”

    Customer: “YOU WANT ME TO DO IT ONLINE?! YOU DON’T WANT TO HELP?! FINE!” *hangs-up*

    Getting Crazier Organ(ically)

    | Willow Grove, PA, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “[Bookstore]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Hello, do you have any books about dogs?”

    Me: “Yes, we have an extensive section all about pets.”

    Caller: “Dog spleens?”

    Me: “Um, we have a smaller section of veterinarian books, but—”

    Caller: “COOKING dog spleens?”

    Me: “Uh…”

    (The caller finally broke into laughter in his own voice, revealing himself to be my boyfriend in one of his weird moods.)

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