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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    This Caller Has Been Barred

    | CO, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Rude & Risque, Themed Giveaway

    (I’m the night auditor. It’s about 3 am and the phone rings.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I just wanted to check rates for these dates.”

    Me: “Absolutely. We have two queens or a king for these prices.”

    Caller: “Oh, okay. What is there to do in the area?”

    Me: “We’re popular for our hiking trails and outdoor activities, as well as our variety of small breweries—”

    Caller: “Are there any gay bars?”

    Me: “Not that I know of.”

    Caller: “What?! No gay bars?!”

    Me: “I’m afraid not.”

    Caller: “Well… where do you go?”

    Me: “To… the regular bars?”

    Caller: “Okay, because I got a couple of lesbians coming there for their honeymoon.”

    Me: “Well, I assure you there are plenty of bars to choose from. So, how many nights shall I book you for?”

    Caller: “Oh, I’ll have to talk to them.” *click*

    (He called and had the exact same conversation with me three more times in two weeks before getting my manager, who told him he needed to stop harassing me.)

    Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers

    | Norway | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Rude & Risque

    (When I was born, there were serious complications, and doctors had to step in to keep both me and my mother alive. They tore all my muscles and damaged a lot of nerves in my neck. I went to a physical therapist for many years. I hardly ever notice it now, 20 years later, but once in a while, after lifting heavy items for a long period of time, my back acts up and it hurts a lot. All of my coworkers know this, and despite this, I’m a very hard worker. A customer in his 40s walks in, skips right across the line, and to me, where I’m currently working on a problem with a coffee machine. He sets an empty can of gas, the steel type, down on the floor next to me. I have equipment all over the counter and floor, trying to figure out the problem with the machine. It is also worth mentioning that I live in a small town, where everyone knows everyone. I have hardly ever dealt with rude customers because of this, and it’s well known that we can take abuse until a certain point.)

    Customer: “I need you to go out to your gas cabinet and fetch me a new one of these.”

    Me: “Sure, let me just clean up a little here.”

    Customer: “Do you think I have time for that?! Do you know who I am? I have other places to be!”

    Me: “All right, then.”

    (I shuffle all the pieces and tubes onto the counter, hoping no one will brush them off and step on them. I run out to the cabinet, open the lock, grab a new can, and head back inside. Right as I walk into the store, I get insanely painful cramps in my back, I manage to scoot over to the customer and set the can down, obviously in pain, but I smile and shrug it off to my coworkers.)

    Customer: “You teens are so useless these days! All you do is stare at your phones and your computers! Look at you, you can’t even carry a can of gas! You’re all useless! Now hurry up, for f*** sake! I’m going to a very important job interview over at [local entrepreneur, with the owner’s name as a company name]!”

    (The other customers have been startled at his behavior by now, but at the mentioning of said company, many of them snicker.)

    Me: “You know what? My neck was nearly broken when I was born. I have worked at [Gas Station] for three years, and never have I had a more rude and pretentious customer than you. I want you to calm down so we can finish this transaction. You’re startling the other customers.”

    Customer: “Does it look like I give a s***!?”

    Me: “That’s it.”

    (I pick up the phone and dial a number. My boss is looking at me with approval.)

    Me: *on the phone* “Hey, Dad, I want you to know there’s a man in his 40s, drives a green Honda CRV, who said he’s heading over for an interview with you today. He has been a real pain in the butt, and if you hire him, I’m not giving you grandchildren.”

    (The customer’s face goes pale. He looks at me, the other customers who are now laughing at him, and scurries out the door, leaving both his old and the new can behind. My dad didn’t hire him, either.)

    Her Logic Isn’t Adding Up

    | IN, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Math & Science

    Me: “All right, your total comes to $26.48. Will that be cash, check, or card?”

    Customer: “Card, please.”

    (We finish the transaction. When I hand the customer her receipt, she squints suspiciously at it.)

    Me: “… Um, is something the matter?”

    Customer: “That doesn’t sound right. It’s too high. You must have overcharged me.”

    Me: “Well, let’s take a look at your receipt. This item was about $10, these two were $5, this was $3, and this was $1. And there was sales tax, too. It can add up quickly.”

    Customer: “I don’t believe your math. You overcharged me! This is way too much for what I bought.”

    (I pull out a calculator and add each item’s exact price together. I also calculate sales tax and add that to the total, which comes out to $26.48, the exact amount she paid.)

    Customer: “No, you added wrong! I don’t believe your math!”

    (I add everything again, slower.)

    Customer: “I don’t believe your math!”

    Me: “I don’t know what to tell you, ma’am. I’ve just proved to you that I charged you the correct price. If you’re not happy with your purchases, you can return them here.”

    Customer: “No, I need these things. I’ll take them even though you overcharged me!”

    Rust Or Bust

    | IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Transportation

    (I work in a car dealership on the service drive. A customer pulls her car onto the drive, gets out, and walks up to my desk. I can see from the scowl on her face she is clearly angry.)

    Customer: “I JUST bought this new car last week and it is already rusting! I demand you give me a new car!”

    Me: “Okay, can you show me where the rust is?”

    (We walk to her car.)

    Customer: “See, right there on the door! THAT IS RUST!”

    Me: “Ma’am, that is just a little mud. Let me get a clean towel and I’ll get that right off for you.”

    Customer: “No, you are lying! You’re just going to paint it over! I know rust when I see it! I’m not stupid!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I assure you it is not rust, and I will not put paint on it.”

    Customer: “Don’t you touch it! I demand to see the manager!”

    Me: “Sure. I’ll be right back.”

    (I come back with my manager after I explained the situation to him.)

    Customer: “See that… THAT RIGHT THERE! THAT’S RUST! I DEMAND YOU GIVE ME A NEW CAR! IT’S ONLY A WEEK OLD!”

    (My manager grabs a rag and puts it in his back pocket before walking out to speak to the customer. Without saying a word, he takes the rag out, leans down and wipes the mud off before the customer can say anything. The customer immediately gets down on her hands and knees to examine where the mud had been.)

    Manager: “There you go, ma’am. It was just a little spot of mud.”

    (The customer snatches the rag out of my manager’s hand.)

    Customer: “Let me see that! You just put paint over it!”

    (The customer examines the obviously clean and paint-free rag, then tosses it on the floor.)

    Customer: “You people need to make sure a car is clean before you deliver it to a customer! I am letting you people know you won’t get away with anything!”

    (The customer comes in regularly, and has complained similarly about MANY things on her car since, demanding a new car every time.)   

    Attraction Detraction

    | Germany | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Tourists/Travel

    (Our hotel is located in a nature park. In November, there are not many tourists around, since the weather tends not to be very good for hiking in the forest – the prime reason for coming here. Many tourism related businesses close this time of year. We are open for one more week before closing ourselves. We have an attractive ‘stay three nights, pay two’ offer. I am talking to a guest at checkout)

    Guest: “We really enjoyed our stay, but we were disappointed that most of the tourist attractions in the area were closed.”

    Me: “Yeah. This is the last week for us, too, before we close.”

    Guest: “Had I known that everything was closed, I would not have come here. Why is your hotel open when everything else is closed?”

    Me: “We do not know why our customers are here. What if you needed to go to a funeral or were here on business and you could not book any hotel because they were all closed? And is the special offer perhaps an indication that it could be low season?”

    Guest: “You should not be open. Next year you HAVE to close the same date as the other businesses. It is not fair that you stay open longer, and tricking customers in coming to stay with you!”

    Me: *speechless*


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