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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

    A Creepily Patient Patient

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I work as a tech. I’m going up front to hand a file to the receptionist for a check out. There is a man about 20 years older than me talking to the receptionist.)

    Him: “Hey…” *does that smile that says ‘heeeyyyy’*

    Me: “Hi. I hope you haven’t been waiting too long. Do you need anything or are you waiting for the doctor?”

    Him: “No, I am juuuuusst fine.” *creepily looking me up and down*

    (I leave, do some things in the back and come back out to get the next patient which isn’t him. He is still standing there. The receptionist pulls me aside and hands me a note that has his name and number on it.)

    Me: “What is this?”

    Receptionist: “He is into you. He wants to know how old you are and if you are single.”

    Me: “He is way too old for me. I’m not interested.”

    (I hope he’ll just leave me alone if I don’t talk to him unless necessary. He waits around for a good hour. Because of the layout of the hospital, I have to cross the lobby a number of times. Each time, he stands in the doorway so I have to walk past him.)

    Him: “Give me your number.”

    Me: “No, sir, I’m sorry.”

    (I keep walking. I’m not very good at telling people straight out that I’m not interested. A few days later… he has come back once on my day off and left when he finds out I am not working.)

    Receptionist: “I’m glad you didn’t give him your number. This guy is crazy!”

    Me: “What happened?”

    Receptionist: “He sat and waited in the parking lot to see if you would come out. When I did, he got my husband’s number off the truck.” *he sold diet products from home and had an advertisement on her truck*

    Receptionist: “He called me every day for three days asking if you were going to give him your number!”

    Me: “I’ll take care of it. I’m so sorry!”

    (I called him from the work phone, so he wouldn’t have my number, and told him to leave us both alone. We never heard from him again.)

    Driving Her Own Price Up

    , | CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Transportation

    (A policy holder calls to complain about the very high premium she is paying for her auto insurance. I review the policy with her and determine that she’s had many accidents and violations. Easily the worst driving record I’ve seen, and I’ve been doing this job for years.)

    Customer: “So, what can be done so that I don’t pay so much?”

    Me: “As your driving history is the reason for the high premium, there are no opportunities to reduce the cost until your record improves.”

    Customer: “There has to be something you can do?”

    Me: “I’ve verified that the price is accurate. There is nothing more I can do.”

    Customer: “Is there something I can do?”

    Me: “Have you had a recent check up with a doctor to see if there is a physical reason you are having difficulty while driving? You may want to consider using public transportation, at least until you’ve been medically cleared.”

    Customer: “There’s nothing wrong with my health, and I’m not going to stop driving!”

    Me: “If you must continue to drive, I’d suggest taking a driver education or improvement course.”

    Customer: “You’re joking, right? I’m a good driver! Everyone gets into a bit of trouble now and again!”

    (This call was chosen by my supervisor for monthly call review and coaching, which was less than a week later. There were already two more accident claims filed!)

    Way Past Time Magazine

    | Monroe, CT, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (It’s 11:20 pm and we close at 11 pm. Cashiers are counting out their tills, stockers are unloading boxes in the aisles, and the cleaning crew is scrubbing the place down. I’m counting lotto tickets behind the customer service desk when one of the cleaning crew comes over.)

    Janitor: “Hey, is [Manager] around?”

    Me: “No, he’s on the phone with corporate for a while. What’s up?”

    Janitor: “You’d better come with me, then.”

    (I follow him to the back of the store where the water fountains and bathrooms are, and I hear someone hollering from the men’s room.)

    Me: *knocking on the door* “Um, hello, is there someone in there?”

    Customer: “Yes! I’ve been sitting here calling for help for almost a half hour!”

    Me: “Oh, my god, sir. I’m so sorry. The store closed and no one was around this area. Do you need medical attention?”

    Customer: “No, of course not.”

    Me: “Oh, uh, did you run out of toilet paper?”

    Customer: “No, there’s plenty here.”

    Me: “Okay… Then, what did you need help with?”

    Customer: “I finished reading this Time magazine I picked up from the book section. Can you bring me the latest issue of Car & Driver?”

    (We had to go get the manager, who threatened to charge him with trespassing if he didn’t finish his “business” and get out of the store. The man flushed, didn’t wash his hands, and stormed out the front door.)

    Me: “He left the Time magazine in there. You don’t want me to put it back, do you?”

    Manager: “H***, no. BURN IT.”

    Not A Well-Rounded Response

    | Sweden | Crazy Requests

    (I work as an HVAC tech, and am sent to a customer’s house to condemn his 25-year-old heat pump as ‘beyond repair.’ He phones up the dispatcher after receiving the bill.)

    Customer: “So, I had a tech here a while ago and got the bill today and you’re billing me for a whole hour.”

    Dispatcher: “Yes, that is our minimum fee for a call.”

    Customer: “He was here fifteen minutes at most. I see no reason that I should pay for a whole hour!”

    Dispatcher: “Well, fifteen minutes to drive from our company to your place, fifteen minutes there, fifteen minutes back. That makes forty-five minutes, and we round upwards so that’s still an hour.”

    Customer: “What? That distance takes ten minutes, tops. I’ve driven between your company and here many times.”

    Dispatcher: “So that’s still thirty-five minutes, and we still round upwards so that’s still an hour and our minimum fee is still for one hour.”

    Customer: “That’s outrageous! When I had my own company I could never do that sort of thing.”

    Dispatcher: “Well, you won’t get anywhere with me. I can transfer you to the owner if you like?”

    Customer: “Yes, do exactly that!”

    (The dispatcher puts him on hold, walks into the owner’s office, and gives him a quick run-down on the situation.)

    Owner: “Hi, this is [Owner]. Is there some trouble?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I had one of your techs at my house and it took him just fifteen minutes here and you’re billing me for a full hour!”

    Owner: “Well, as [Dispatcher] told you our minimum fee is for one hour and we also round upwards to the nearest half hour, so the bill is completely correct.”

    Customer: “That’s outrageous! I never did that when I had my company.”

    Owner: “What kind of company did you have?”

    Customer: “I was an estate agent.”

    Owner: “An estate agent? The kind of person who drives around in brand new BMWs and Mercedes? Who bill you for just picking up the phone?”

    Customer: “You’re the worst person I’ve spoken to in my entire life!” *click*

    Only Generating Contempt

    | UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work for an IT company that provides 24 hour support for several big buildings. As you can imagine it gets very quiet at night with a lot of down time. The only problem is that the calls come from customers who, putting it kindly, don’t have social skills. I received a call around three am.)

    Me: “Welcome to [Company] support desk. You are speaking to [My Name]. How can I help you this morning?”

    Customer: “Hi, this is [Location]. None of our computers are working, our servers are all down, and our phone lines. Everything is down and we need it back up and running in the next ten minutes or I will be forced to have you fired.”

    Me: *concerned and shocked* “How many computers are affected and how many phones are affected?”

    Customer: “ALL OF THEM. About fifty computers and the same amount of phones are not working. You have nine and a half minutes to get it working.”

    Me: *now disinterested* “How many people are working in the building right now?”

    Customer: “There is me, two security guards, and a couple of men replacing the generators. That’s nine minutes.”

    Me: “Sir, silly question but I have to ask this but has the power been turned off to the building by the engineers working on site?”

    (The customer started breathing heavily down the phone, leaving the building and walking outside. I could hear the customer start shouting to the engineer to turn on the power while using a curse word every chance he could. I could hear in the distance the workmen stop what they were doing, obvious not liking being called offensive names, and start chasing after the man down the street. The man while out of breath asked for me to call the cops as his life was in danger. I hung up and went back to sleep.)

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