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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Size Matters On Sign Matters

    | Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (It is my day off, but have to go into work to pick up some milk. On my way in, I notice several large signs on the doors informing customers that the debit/credit machines are down. As I stand in line, I hear customer and my coworker arguing.)

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! You should really put up a sign if your machines are going to be down.”

    Coworker: “There are signs on all the doors.”

    Customer: “Well I didn’t see them; you people should make them bigger!”

    Coworker: “They’re on all the doors, and are quite lar—”

    Customer: “They should be BIGGER!”

    Coworker: “Well how big do you need them, ma’am?”

    Customer: “BIGGER!”

    (At this point the woman throws her things on the counter and storms out, flipping off my coworker in the process.)

    Coworker: “I think it’s break time.”

    To Give Credit, Where Credit Was Due

    | OK, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Money

    (I’m in my first semester of college. I’ve just had my first midterm, and unfortunately I’ve also caught a cold and am not quite thinking straight. I’m at the check out line with my groceries when I realize I’ve left my credit card back at the dorm.)

    Me: *quietly embarrassed* “I forgot my credit card back at the dorm. I’m really sorry; I can’t buy these right now.”

    Cashier: “Oh, don’t worry about it. We’ll just put them back.”

    Me: “I really am sorry.”

    Cashier: “Don’t worry about it; it’s okay. I’m sorry you can’t get these right now.”

    (At this point, the customer in line behind me speaks up.)

    Customer: “Just put them on mine.”

    Me: *shocked* “What?”

    Customer: “I’ll pay for them; don’t worry.”

    Me: “You don’t have to. It’s my own fault.”

    Customer: “It’s okay, really. My mother, father, brother, and I all went to [nearby college] at the same time. I have five kids. I would have wanted someone do to this for me.”

    (At this point I’m near tears. She pays for my groceries and I thank her profusely. She and the cashier talk to me about my majors and tell me to study hard, which I assure them I will. Thank you, random lady, for helping me out when I made a stupid mistake! The world needs more kind people like you!)

    Related:
    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 4
    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 3
    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 2

    Respect The Uniform

    | New Zealand | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Rude & Risque, Top

    (I work at an outdoor/clothing store over the summer sale period, and my uniform consists of a bright red, high neck sale top. Note: I am a female, and am fairly large-breasted. I am at the counter, scanning a customer’s order through. The customer is a middle-aged leering man, and is with a friend. He is nodding at me and laughing with his friend, motioning with his hands in pretend breasts. I decide to ignore this, as I have dealt with this before and I don’t really care too much. The customer continues laughing and staring.)

    Customer: “God, I bet you’re a dirty s***.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Yeah you heard. Look at you, with your big boobs; you must be. You’re such a s*** with your tight uniform. I hate people like you.”

    (I am slightly fuming at this stage, and shocked.)

    Me: “Let me put this to you straight: the only person who is going to lose anything from this is you; do you know why?”

    (The customer starts to argue, but I cut in.)

    Me: “Yes, my uniform is tight, but it is a t-shirt in my normal size. If you look around at my other employees, you will see that they too wear the same uniform as me. I don’t choose what I wear here. It may look different on my body compared to another’s; it’s called body shape. You think having big breasts is a choice I made? I had no control over the growth of them, just as you have no control over your receding hairline. Finally, I have the right to not serve you at all. Being rude to staff by offending their lifestyle, which you know nothing about, or over how they look doesn’t make me want to serve you. If you want, I can void this order and return everything to the shelves.”

    (The customer looks shocked, and is bright red. He says nothing.)

    Me: “Do you have any points of an argument as to why you felt the need to discriminate me by my body shape? If so, I would love to hear them…”

    (The customer stills says nothing.)

    Me: “Would you like me to continue to scan your items? At the moment, for me, it’s still a no.”

    Customer: “Yes, please. I’m sorry.”

    Me: “Well, I suppose that will have to do. I hope you learn some god-d*** respect.”

    (I finish scanning his items, and he leaves with his friend. My manager, who is serving next to me, looks at me and laughs.)

    Manager: “I was going to say something to him, but you got there first. I couldn’t have said anything better than you just did.”

    Death Goes Shopping

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Language & Words, Top

    (I am working behind the register on my first ever day of employment. It is also a particularly busy day. I am finalizing the purchase and handing the customer her bag…)

    Me: “Thank you for shopping at [Store]; have a nice day!”

    (The customer snaps her head up, gasping, while simultaneously dropping her bag of goods to the floor.)

    Customer:What did you say?”

    Me: “I thanked you for shopping here, and told you to have a good d—”

    Customer: “I know what you said! You told me to have a good DEATH!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you that I did not say anything of the kind.”

    Customer: “You DID! You DID and it’s YOU that should be dying, YOU B****! I can assure you that I’ll be taking this further!”

    (There is an unimpressed looking customer next in line.)

    Next Customer: “Lady, pick up your s*** and get out of here, or I’ll kill you myself.”

    Retail Access Memory

    | Foley, AL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Math & Science

    (I have an excellent memory. I work at a tool store and have memorized every model number. When customers walk up to the counter, I type in the numbers and give them the total before they put the items down. )

    Me: “That’ll be [total].”

    Customer: “How did you do that? You didn’t scan anything.”

    Coworker: “He’s ‘Rain Man.’ He has everything in this store memorized.”

    (The customer grabs a random saw blade from a nearby stack.)

    Customer: “What about this?”

    (I rattle off the price, UPC, and price with tax.)

    Customer: “Ha! That isn’t the model number.”

    Coworker: “Look at the barcode.”

    (The customer reads the 12-digit number, and is dumbfounded.)

    Me: “To be fair those things never scan. It’s one of the UPCs I have memorized.”

    Customer: “So… want to go Vegas?”

    (I’m now a network engineer and shock my coworkers constantly with how I have the entire network’s IP and subnets memorized. I earned the nickname ‘Rain Man’ again.)

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