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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Flyer Doesn’t Fly With You

    | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

    Customer: “Is this the item that’s on for $69?”

    Coworker: “Yes, that’s the one in the flyer for $69”

    Customer: “Okay, I’ll get it but I want to get other things too.”

    (Later the customer brings the item to my checkout.)

    Customer: “Is that the one on sale?”

    Me: “Yes, for $69.”

    Customer: “That’s the sale price?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “That girl over there told me it was in the flyer.”

    Me: “It is. For $69.”

    Customer: “Can you check the flyer?”

    (I humor her and check, but it takes me a little bit to find it in the flyer. Before I find it, the coworker from before walks by.)

    Customer: “Oh, that’s her! How much is this item?”

    Coworker: “$69.”

    Customer: “Great, thanks!”

    A Mixed Bag

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Language & Words

    Coworker: “Paper or plastic?”

    Customer: I don’t care. I’m bi. I like it both ways.”

    Vacation Crime

    | ME, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Technology

    (I work for a computer repair shop which gets a lot of work orders from a big company because we’re nearby and are known for how fast we repair units. We also use receipts for orders that are being picked up by others.)

    Customer: “Hey, I’m here to pick up a computer for [Supervisor].”

    Me: “Do you have the repair receipt for their computer?”

    Customer: “No, just use my ID.” *shows me work ID*

    Me: “Unfortunately, sir, I’m not allowed to give you any computer without a receipt due to security reasons.”

    Customer: *suddenly very angry* “Look! I’m an executive at [Big Company]. I can pick up as many computer orders as I want! Just shut up and do your **** job and give me [Supervisor]’s computer!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. But regardless of who you are, I cannot give you any computer without a receipt.”

    (The door jingle goes off, meaning another customer has come into the shop.)

    Customer: “That’s it! I’m gonna have your a** fired, you incompetent f***! I’ve never been treated so rudely!”

    Me: “Well, I hate to repeat myself but again, we’re not allo—”.”

    (At this point I notice a police officer and security guard from [Big Company] standing behind the man.)

    Customer: *practically yelling at this point* “What?! Not allowed to give me [Supervisor]’s computer?! Well, I’ll –”

    Police Officer: “Mr. [Customer]. You’re under arrest for attempted robbery.”

    (The customer turns around to see the two men, and makes a break for the door only to be tackled in seconds and taken away by the police officer.)

    Security Guard: “Can you believe that guy? He quit and threatened to steal [Supervisor]’s computer all because he didn’t get the vacation time he wanted.”

    Children Can Man-age To Listen

    , | NH, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Top

    (I’m a female-to-male transgender person who is not on hormones yet; despite this, I don’t have much of a problem with pronoun mistakes. The customer I have is a middle-aged woman and her young son, about six or seven.)

    Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. How are you today?”

    Woman: “I’m good.” *to her son* “Tell the lady what you want!”

    Son: “Momma, that’s a man.”

    Woman: “Shhh! Don’t say that! You’ll make her feel bad.”

    Me: “Actually, he’s right. I am a boy.”

    Woman: *ignoring me* “I can see why you’re confused, though.” *to me* “You need to start wearing makeup or something. My son is getting confused!”

    Me: “Ma’am, your son is correct.”

    Woman: *still ignoring what I’m saying* “And would it kill you to grow your hair out? Everyone’s going to think that you’re a lesbian!”

    Me: *getting fed up* “Ma’am. I. Am. A. Man.”

    Woman: “Why didn’t you say so?”

    Son: “He did. You didn’t listen, mommy.”

    Me: “Look, it’s not really a big deal. It happens all the time—”

    Woman: “Then grow some facial hair or something! I can’t tell what you are!”

    Me: “Um…”

    Son: “Mommy, stop being stupid!”

    (The son said his order and they checked out. The woman was completely silent after the son’s comment and she booked it out of the store.)

    Hot On The Cent

    | Rio Grande, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (We sell candy 10 for 1$, which equals 10 cents each. A lady walks up with her husband and child. I start ringing them up and the customer tosses a bag of candy onto my register.)

    Customer: “I do not know how many is in there.”

    Me: “Okay, I will finish ringing your items and count these last.”

    Customer: “Good.”

    (I am just about done when I dump out the bag of candy and start counting.)

    Me: “Okay, you have 34 pieces of candy which will be 3 dollars and 40 cents for the candy.”

    Customer: “Wait, it said 10 for a dollar. Should i go get more?”

    Me: “That is entirely up to you as they are still 10 cents for a piece of candy.”

    Customer: “But it says 10 for a dollar. I WANT THAT PRICE!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you are getting that price. It’s 10 cents for a piece of candy.”

    Customer: “BUT I WANT 10 FOR A DOLLAR!”

    Me: “Ma’am, what is 100 divided my 10?”

    Customer: “10, you stupid girl.”

    Me: “Okay. Well a dollar is 100 pennies and its ten pieces of candy for one dollar. Each piece of candy will be 10 cents. Therefore, you are getting the sale price.”

    (She then started screaming at me for making her seem like an idiot in front of her family. She then threw her credit card at me and stormed out of the store. Her husband stayed behind to apologize and say thank you for putting up with her.)