Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Your Connection Is Totally Forked
    (2,029 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    To Term A Contradiction

    | Nashville, TN, USA | At The Checkout, Books & Reading, Movies & TV

    (My coworker and I are discussing our avid distaste for the ‘Twilight’ books.)

    Me: “I mean… even if you look past the story line, the syntax is poor, and the vocabulary redundant. I don’t understand how it even qualifies as literature.”

    Coworker: “I know. What’s to gain from even reading it?”

    (A customer approaches, and I take her order. As I’m loading a box of plain glazed donuts for her, I suddenly notice a teenage girl standing at the other end of the counter. She looks quite shy as she waits for assistance. She’s wearing a shirt that I can’t help but admire aloud.)

    Me: “‘…and then Buffy staked Edward. The end.’ I love your shirt!”

    Teenage Girl: *shyly* “…thank you!”

    Me: “My coworker and I were just making fun of that series… what a coincidence!”

    Teenage Girl: *nodding enthusiastically* “I know! I like, totally love Buffy! But I like, totally love Twilight, too!”

    (I feel my smile freeze in place, and politely refrain from commenting further. The girl continues to chatter on about the vastly different vampire series.)

    Teenage Girl: “And I like, totally have this Cullen jacket and some jewelry… and I wore them with this shirt last week and I was, like… all… opposite-y…”

    Me: *smile still frozen in place* “I see…”

    (I finish the other customer’s donut order and ring her up. The teenager doesn’t take the hint and continues to wax poetic about her conflicting interests, trying to hold my attention. My coworker, who has been present for the whole exchange, assists the teenage girl with her order for cookies. After both customers leave, I turn to my coworker.)

    Coworker: “‘Opposite-y?’”

    Me: “I think the word she was looking for was ‘contradiction.’”

    Coworker: “Let’s blame Meyers for that.”

    Me: “Case in point. Not much of a lexicon.”

    A Man Needs His Nectar

    | Finland | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Top

    (I go to my local store after a game of soccer, still wearing my full goalkeeper kit. The cashier and I have met several times but don’t actually know each other at all. I am buying beer.)

    Cashier: “[My Name], you can’t buy beer!”

    Me: “Why not?”

    Cashier: “You come here looking so sporty and I thought you’d buy something healthy or nice, and you buy beer!”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll buy something nice.”

    (I turn around, grab a bunch of flowers, pay for them, and give them to her.)

    Me: “There you go!”

    Cashier: “What? For me?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Cashier: “But… but why? No one has ever bought me flowers before.”

    Me: “Well, you told me to buy something nice, and as you looked tired and a bit down I thought that it would be nice to buy you flowers.”

    Cashier: “Thank you! This was so nice of you!”

    Me: “May I now drink beer tonight?”

    Cashier: “With both hands, if you like!”

    Deference To The Difference

    , | Plano, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I am working drive thru.)

    Customer: “I want orange chicken and fried rice.”

    Me: “Okay, no problem. Would you like that as a one side/one entree bowl, or as a one side/two entree plate with double orange chicken?”

    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “The bowl is $6.05 and the plate is $7.13.”

    Customer: “No, not the price! What is the difference?”

    Me: “Well, one has a single side and a single entree and it comes in a bowl, and the other has a single side and two entrees and it comes on a plate.”

    Customer: “But, what’s the difference?”

    This Is Soda-Pressing, Part 2

    | Staten Island, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Money

    (I am standing in line when a customer comes up behind me with two boxes of about 20 cans of soda each.)

    Customer: “Can I go ahead of you?”

    Me: “You want to cut in line?”

    Customer: “No, I just need to talk to the woman in front of you!”

    (The customer in front of me doesn’t seem to know him. However ,he only has two items, and I have forgotten to grab oranges anyway, so I say sure and dash back to the produce section. When I return, I hear the tail end of their conversation.)

    Customer: “So if you let me put my soda on your bill, I can get a discount because you’re spending more than $20, and I’ll pay for the soda!”

    Customer In Front: “Okay, fine.”

    (The cashier finishes ringing the customer in front’s order, makes a note of the price, and scans the two boxes of soda. The customer in front of me pays her share, and then the cashier turns to the man with the soda, after carefully subtracting the customer in front’s cost from the total.)

    Cashier: “You owe $17.70.”

    Customer: “What? That’s ridiculous. It’s too much! I’m not paying that!”

    Cashier: “Are you kidding? You can’t do that.”

    Customer: “Just take it off!”

    Cashier: “You cut in line, held everybody up while you explained this, made a big fuss, and now you’re going to hold everybody up again while we call a manager to void this?”

    Customer: “F*** you! I didn’t do anything wrong.” *storms out*

    Related:
    This Is Soda-Pressing

    The Question Is Timeless, Not Ageless

    | Antwerp, Belgium | At The Checkout, Money

    (My mum and I are waiting in line to buy our ticket. We are behind two older ladies.)

    Old Lady: “No, I’m not telling you my age. I tell you, it is most impolite for you to ask.”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am; I did not want to offend, but you do—”

    Old Lady: “Well, you were. You don’t ask a lady her age!”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, but—”

    Old Lady: “Give us our tickets already!”

    (The cashier finishes the transaction, and still a bit undignified, both ladies leave. My mum and I approach the cashier.)

    My Mum: “I have no problem telling you I am over 55, and have proof for you too. Now, I believe you do have senior citizen discount for which I qualify?”

    Cashier: “Certainly, ma’am. So that will be one senior citizen and one adult?”

    (Both ladies, clearly above 55, hear my mum speak; realizing their error, they look at their tickets and then to the cashier as to judge their chances of getting money back. With some disappointment, they decide against it.)

    Page 95/224First...9394959697...Last